Midnight with You

by Cheyenne McCray

  “Why are you telling me?” Seth said slowly. “If she doesn’t want anyone to know.”

  “Because she’s fallen in love with you.” Charlee touched Seth’s shoulder. “And we think her heart has made the right decision.”

  Seth dragged his hand down his face as his mind worked over what Bailey’s friends had told him.

  Truth was he didn’t think she should go alone. But that was the one thing he couldn’t do—completely walk away from his life on the mainland and stay in Europe for who knew how long. Months? Years?

  He closed his eyes for a moment and opened them again. “Frankly, I’m not sure what to do. Go to her to talk this over or give her time.”

  “Go to her now,” Dara said.

  Charlee added, “She needs you more than she realizes.”

  Seth tried to wrap his mind around everything. “Thank you both for trusting me with this.” He blew out his breath. “I’ll find her and we’ll talk about it.”

  Charlee hugged him, then Dara. “We’re rooting for you.”

  Seth nodded, already heading for the parking lot. Manu was walking from the opposite direction and stopped in front of Seth.

  He slapped his hand on Seth’s shoulder. “Congratulations on your win. Most of all, thanks for being here.”

  “I wouldn’t miss it,” he said. “You know you can count on me.”

  “I know I can.” Manu glanced over his shoulder at the lot, then back to Seth. “Where are you headed? Need a ride?”

  “If you have time,” Seth said. “I could use a lift to the hotel.”

  “You’ve got it.” Manu fell into step with Seth. “Everything all right?”

  Seth frowned. “I just need to talk with Bailey.”

  “I didn’t get to meet her,” Manu said.

  “I would have introduced her if she had hung around.” He shook his head. “But I just found out she ran.”

  They reached Manu’s truck. He climbed in on the passenger side while Manu took the driver’s seat and started the vehicle.

  Silence was heavy in the truck as they drove toward Keola and the resort.

  “Why did she run?” Manu asked after a few minutes.

  Seth pinched the bridge of his nose before he lowered it. “I thought I would do anything for her. But there’s one place I can’t follow.”

  “Let me hear it,” Manu said.

  Seth gave a brief explanation of what he’d thought Bailey’s dreams were—but she’d had other plans all along. He’d thought he would give anything up for her.

  “This is one thing I don’t know that I can do, Manu.” Seth tried to work it out in his mind, but he didn’t see how. “I could adjust my life so that she can accomplish all that she wants to, but that’s if she stays in the States. Any of them. I’d live here in a heartbeat.”

  He went on. “But give up everything to go to a foreign country for God knows how long… I can’t wrap my mind around that one, Manu.”

  Seth clenched his jaw. “If she had told me from the beginning what she planned to do with her life, things might be different. She misled me. Maybe not intentionally, but that’s exactly what she did.”

  “What do you plan to do about it?” Manu asked.

  Seth took his hat off and put his head in his hands for a long moment. When he straightened, he looked at the man he’d known for many years now.

  “I don’t know.” He gave a helpless gesture. “I’m at a loss. I wanted to go back to talk with her. But now that I’ve had some time to process it, I don’t think this will work. She’s right.”

  He looked at his hands. “I’ve fallen hard for her, Manu. I don’t know what the hell to do. Maybe I’ll sleep on it. Or maybe I should go to her. I just don’t see a solution that will work for both of us.”

  “Go to her,” Manu said. “And talk.”

  Seth nodded. “Yeah, that’s what I’ll do.”

  Manu dropped Seth off at the resort and he felt like a weight dragged him down as he headed across the lobby. He stopped and regained his bearings, then headed down the wing to her room.

  When he reached her door, he held up his fist and froze for a moment. He relaxed his tense muscles and knocked on her door.

  * * *

  A knock at the door startled Bailey. She wiped tears from her face with a tissue before going to the door and looking through the peephole.

  Seth. The last person she wanted to see.

  But the person she needed most right now.

  She opened the door and saw his grim features. He took one look at her and brought her into his arms. “Aw, honey. Don’t cry.”

  More tears broke loose and a sob came out of nowhere.

  He guided her to the bed and motioned to her to lie down. “We’re just going to talk.”

  She eased over so he could get onto the bed with her. They rested on their sides, looking at each other.

  His features had become so dear to her. She wanted to brush hair from his face and fan her fingers along his strong jaw. It wouldn’t be right to do anything more intimate than lying here and talking.

  “I’m sorry.” Tears rolled down her cheeks and he brushed them away with his fingers. “I should never have let things get so far. I should have told you everything.”

  His eyes were so intense as he held her gaze. “About your plans for going abroad?”

  Surprise caused her a moment’s hesitation. Then, “Charlee and Dara told you.”

  He nodded. “You should have been the one.”

  She looked down, avoiding his gaze. “I’m sorry.”

  “Honestly, I don’t know how to look at it.” His voice sounded pained and she looked at him. “If you had told me, things would never have gone as far as they did.”

  Bailey hiccupped as another sob rose in her.

  “But,” he touched her shoulder, “I can’t think of a thing I’d change.” He brushed hair from her tear-swollen eyes. “Except the scrape on the reef. That we could do without.”

  She managed a slight smile. No, more like a grimace.

  “Traveling Europe and spending a year or two there, has been a dream of mine for years.”

  Words caught in her throat and she had to force them out. “I figured if I pushed men away before things got too serious, what was the harm? I never counted on you. I screwed up.”

  He gently stroked the side of her face and brushed errant tears away. “I wouldn’t say that. I’d say it makes things a lot more challenging than I ever imagined.”

  “I don’t see a way to fix this,” she said quietly. “I lied by error of omission. I’m doing something where you can’t follow.”

  He didn’t say anything, just looked as if he was in deep thought.

  “Come here.” He held out his arm and drew her in closer.

  She shouldn’t have, but she snuggled against him anyway. He felt so good, so right. But it had to end.

  She breathed in his scent, felt his body heat. She melted into him, feeling like she was a part of him.

  Stop it.

  “I would travel anywhere in the U.S. with you, Bailey.” He rested his chin on her head. “I would make a home with you and work out of that home. Hell, I’d be Mr. Mom and be the one to stay home with the kids.”

  She shut her eyes, squeezing out more tears.

  “But don’t ask me to wait for you while you run all over Europe.” His voice came out rough and scratchy. “I thought about how I could travel with you, but I can’t give up everything in my life to do that.”

  “I told you.” She tried to hold back more tears. “You couldn’t give up everything for me.

  “But you didn’t tell me enough.” He kissed the top of her head. “I’m having a hard time working through this, Bailey.”

  She pulled away from him and rolled over to face him. “It sounds like you’ve already made up your mind.”

  “And so have you,” he said quietly.

  Seth got off the bed and caught her hand in his. He looked down at her and squeezed her ha
nd as he gave her one long look.

  His eyes seemed to say, “I’ll miss you.”

  More pain flooded her heart.

  Yet, she said nothing. Could say nothing.

  He stopped at the door and looked at her before turning away. She watched him let himself out of her hotel room, and close the door behind him.

  Bailey rolled onto her back and stared up at the ceiling. Her eyes burned and felt red and swollen, her sinuses hurt, and her head pounded. What had she done?

  Seth might have been the best thing that had ever happened to her, but she had let him walk out that door.

  She squeezed her eyes and fought against more tears.

  But what could she do other than let him go? Let a lifetime of dreams slide through her fingers? Give up everything for a man, something she’d always told herself she would never do?

  She turned on her belly and covered her head with a pillow.

  And cried.

  16

  Bailey sat with Dara and Charlee on the patio of a small Hawaiian restaurant. The view was magnificent and the air pleasant and fragrant.

  She found herself staring out at the ocean more than once. Memory after memory of her time spent with Seth hit her over and over.

  After the death of her relationship with Seth last night, Bailey hadn’t wanted to do anything or go anywhere today. Her heart hurt so badly she felt like someone had stabbed it with a knife and slowly turned the blade.

  But this vacation wasn’t about her or Seth. It was about her best friends and the trip they’d all been looking forward to for months.

  Bailey had enjoyed today’s shopping trip with Charlee and Dara—it had helped her think about things other than Seth.

  She’d done her best to act like everything was normal, but she wasn’t sure she’d done a very good job of it.

  Charlee touched Bailey’s arm. “Are you in there?”

  Bailey blinked and met Charlee’s gaze. “Right here.”

  “Could have fooled me.” Dara drew Bailey’s attention. “You’ve been moping around all day. Now that we’re sitting down and relaxing—talk.”

  “I’m sorry.” Bailey looked down at her mango mojito glass before meeting the gazes of her two closest friends. “I’ve been trying to act like everything is okay. I knew I couldn’t fool you two.”

  “We understand,” Charlee said. “And you did pretty well today.”

  “Now it’s time to get it out,” Dara said.

  “I never expected to ever meet someone like Seth.” Tears bit the back of Bailey’s eyes and she fought to keep from crying again. “And I never expected breaking things off with him to hit me so hard.”

  “What happened last night?” Charlee asked.

  Bailey shrugged. “After you two told him about my dreams for Europe, he stopped by my room and said that was one place he couldn’t follow me. He’d follow me anywhere in the U.S., but he couldn’t give up everything to move to Europe for a year or two.”

  She struggled harder to keep the tears away. “I have dreamt of a couple of years abroad since I was a teenager. I have saved and saved and have worked so hard to get to this point, where I can live that dream.”

  Her eyes ached and she rubbed them with her thumb and forefinger before looking at her friends again. “To be with Seth means I’d have to give up all of that.”

  Her throat felt tight and dry as she continued. “I would regret not living my dream for the rest of my life.” She looked down at her hands. “The same way I would regret leaving Seth behind.”

  Charlee put her hand over one of Bailey’s. “It’s not fair to be in this situation,” Charlee said. “But I think you need to consider some way to meet him in the middle. There’s got to be something.”

  Bailey took a deep, shuddering breath. “How, Charlee? How could I possibly make that happen when Seth can’t follow me, and he wouldn’t wait for me?” She bit her knuckle to keep from crying. “It wouldn’t be fair to even ask that of him.”

  Dara put her hand on top of Charlee’s and the weight of both was solid and comforting. “Think it through, Bailey. Think long and hard about this. And talk to Seth—don’t give up on him.”

  Bailey shook her head. “I don’t see a way out of this, so I’m not sure what thinking about it will do. Much less talk with him about it.”

  “Just do it,” Dara said quietly.

  “She’s right,” Charlee added.

  Bailey just nodded, but it was more of an automatic thing. Thinking about it was just going to make it harder.

  “We have the lūʻau tonight.” Charlee squeezed Bailey’s hand before she and Dara moved their hands away. “Let’s have fun. A little time can make a difference in how you feel.”

  “Watch out Momi.” Bailey offered her friends a smile. “We’re going to have a terrific time.”

  Seth paced his room and felt like slamming his fist into the wall, something that was alien to him.

  He stopped pacing and threw on athletic gear. A run would do him some good and work out some of the tightness inside him.

  Moments later he headed through the lobby and went straight outside to the road and started jogging. The day was clear, the sun bright above him, the air balmy.

  He tried not to think of anything and clear his head of everything.

  That proved to be as hard as he’d thought.

  The occasional car passed him from each direction. He jogged past the sugar cane field and on.

  He’d fallen so hard for Bailey, and she was going to walk away. Not just anywhere, but overseas to a life he couldn’t live with her.

  Seth ground his teeth. He would follow her anywhere, as long as they stayed in the U.S. Hell, he’d even go to California or New York, even as much as he disliked crowded areas.

  But overseas? He couldn’t leave behind his family, his special needs ranch, his own dreams of owning a physical therapy practice. His dreams of raising a family.

  Another car passed him as he neared the pineapple fields. He kept on jogging, one foot hitting the ground after another. It felt like he was fighting to get uphill when the road led down at a gentle slope.

  Staying in the States would allow him to give back to the sport of rodeo, which had given him so much. He didn’t have to live anywhere in particular to lend his name and donate his time. He could make it work.

  He’d adjust anything to make sure Bailey could do the things she wanted. He would leave the rodeo circuit. He would set up a practice anywhere. He would be Mr. Mom while she worked full time.

  Seth pumped his arms as he picked up his pace. The burn in his muscles helped to clear his head.

  Was there some way to strike a balance that wouldn’t force her to give up what she wanted so much? And wouldn’t force him to give up everything?

  At this moment, he didn’t see how.

  He’d think of something, though. He wasn’t giving up easily.

  There had to be some kind of compromise—right?

  Bailey had dressed in a brightly colored sundress for the lūʻau and her friends dressed similarly. The regular event was held at Ohana lūʻau, a place near the Hōkū amphitheater that she and Seth had gone to only a week ago.

  Pain seized her belly, causing it to cramp. Why did everything have to remind her of him?

  Even the burn from the coral scrape made her think of Seth.

  It was still light out as the car dropped them off at the beachside event. Charlee and Dara had left their cabana boys behind. They’d decided this was a girls’ only night.

  Bailey and the girls headed inside the gates and were met by a Hawaiian woman who put a fresh lei over their heads. They were greeted by male servers with an exotic mai tai that tasted good enough to have a few, not just one.

  It was a spectacular day for a lūʻau and the scenery was gorgeous.

  There were dance lessons, crafts, and lawn games for the kids. A couple of artisans sold beautiful pieces of handcrafted Hawaiian jewelry. A professional photographer took their
pictures and they saw interesting cultural exhibits.

  Bailey enjoyed herself, even with trying to keep Seth at the back of her mind. This trip was special to her and her friends, and she wanted to keep it that way for all of them. Good memories to take back when they returned to Arizona.

  An ache stabbed her heart, and she had to do a mental reset to move on.

  An unearthing ceremony was performed to remove the kālua pig from the imu—pit.

  Hawaiian musicians played and sang while the guests talked and ate. Bailey and her friends chose traditional seating on pillows in front of low tables at the foot of the semi-circular stage.

  The food was outrageously fresh and delicious. Bailey enjoyed it and sampled a little of almost everything, including the saimin—noodles; Spam musubi; baked mahi mahi; squid lūʻau; and the kālua pork, which was amazing.

  She skipped the Haupia dessert in favor of coco puffs—puff pastry shells with creamy chocolate filling, topped with Chantilly buttercream frosting. The banana nut bread was the best she’d ever had.

  “We’re not driving,” she told her friends as she started her second mai tai. “So let’s drink up.”

  The sunset was fantastic.

  Darkness fell and that was when the real fun began. The hula and fire dances were colorful, passionate, energetic, and captivating. The dancers clearly put their hearts and souls into their beautiful performances. They did a wonderful job with storytelling of Hawaiian history and traditions.

  Everyone, including their servers, put so much love and energy into the evening that made it even more special.

  It ended too soon, yet at just the right time. Bailey had a night full of wonderful memories with Charlee and Dara. They bought three pictures of themselves, so they each had a memento of the evening. Dara carried them all in her large handbag.

  When they headed for the entrance to get to the car that would take them back to the Kapu ‘Aina, the dancers, waiters, and others met the guests near the entrance and thanked all for coming.