Tie Me Up, Tie Me Down

by Sherrilyn Kenyon

  Frank looked her straight in the eyes and said, "He's dead. Mark my words."

  Alarm whipped through Savannah's veins. "You, promised you wouldn't get angry."

  "I lied. Give me a ten-minute head start then call the cops. They'll be scraping his carcass off the floor with a spatula."

  He swung away from her and Savannah raced ahead of him to block his path. "I'm not going to let you do this."

  "You're going to stop me?"

  "I'm asking you to let me handle this. I'm not a little girl anymore, Frank. I know what to do."

  His jaw tightened. "That bastard just decides to show up and ruin your life all over again? Well, I'm not going to let him, Savannah. Do you hear me? I couldn't bear to see you go through what you went through last time. Not again, damn it. He deserves to pay for this."

  Savannah's heart lurched. Beneath his gruff exterior, her brother had a heart of gold. He had suffered right along with her when Donovan had left the first time.

  Frank was such a strong man, but her father used to always say that she could make him crumble, and for a man like Frank, that was never easy.

  He wore his masculinity like a badge. He did not like anything that threatened to break it down, and she had the power to do that to him.

  "Frank," she said softly, "I'm stronger now--thanks to you. You have always been there for me and I will never forget that. Donovan doesn't have the power to hurt me like he once did. The first time gave me a tougher armor. And don't believe it was all him, this time. I played an active role."

  She turned halfway from him and stared down the driveway, toward the spot where Donovan's car was hidden. "Perhaps I had things of my own that I wanted to say. Perhaps I needed this time with him to let him go once and for all."

  "And have you let him go?"

  Savannah wished with every fiber of her being that she could say yes, that she was completely and totally over Donovan, and that nothing he said or did mattered to her one way or the other.

  But something inside her couldn't do it. Some speck of feeling yet remained. Perhaps it always would. She might always have to live with his owning a piece of her heart.

  She faced her brother. "If Jake will still have me, then I will marry him today as planned." That didn't answer his question, but it was the best she could do.

  "What do you mean, 'if' Jake will marry you?" A scowl drew his brows together. "Don't tell me you're even thinking about telling him what happened tonight?"

  "I have to. I can't begin this marriage with lies and deceit between us."

  "Bullshit. There's nothing to tell him because nothing happened. Only you and I know what went on."

  "And Donovan."

  "That piece of shit won't say a word. You can count on that."

  "Stop talking like that." She had never seen him quite so angry before.

  "He won't ruin your future, Savannah. You will marry Jake today as scheduled. You can't let one innocent mistake jeopardize your happiness--or Reese's. If nothing else, think of your daughter."

  Savannah had thought of no one else. What she had done tonight was something she would have warned Reese to never do. But she doubted Reese ever would: her daughter was smarter than her, had a well of common sense that Savannah had never possessed at that age. And apparently still didn't possess.

  Deep down she felt that if she truly loved Jake as much as she wanted to, she wouldn't have done anything with Donovan. Perhaps she had sabotaged herself. She'd had doubts about marrying Jake from the start, but she'd pushed them down, believing it was past time that she settled down--and time to put the past behind her.

  Reese deserved a home that consisted of a mother and father. Savannah knew she couldn't have picked a better man to give her daughter that than Jake.

  "Go inside and get some sleep," Frank said in a gruff but calmer tone. "You've got a long day ahead of you."

  Savannah didn't need anyone to tell her that, and she had much to sort out in only a few hours. "What are you going to do?"

  A muscle worked in his jaw. "I'm not going to go looking for Jerricho, if that's what you're worried about."

  That's exactly what she was worried about. "Are you angry with me?"

  The tenseness seemed to leave his face. "How could I ever be angry with you?"

  Tears suddenly welled up in her eyes and she wrapped her arms around her brother's neck. "I really screwed up, didn't I?"

  "Yeah," he murmured in a rough, loving tone, hugging her back. "You really did." He took her gently by the arms and stepped back. "But don't think it can't be fixed. In a few days, this will all be an unfortunate memory and life will return to the way it's always been."

  She tried to summon up a smile as she kissed Frank on the cheek, wearily climbed the steps, and entered the cool, apple-scented kitchen.

  She leaned heavily against the closed door and wished time would stop until she could figure out how she could fix the mess she had made.

  Donovan stared out the window of his old bedroom. The first rays of the sun were just peeking over the treetops and reflecting off Crawfish Lake.

  He had always loved this place. Whenever his parents had been arguing, which had been frequently growing up, he would come here and hang out with his grandparents. When no one else understood him, they had.

  They had also loved Savannah, seen in her what he had, and they had embraced her. He could only be thankful that they hadn't been around to see how badly he had screwed up his life.

  He sighed and leaned his head against the glass, his mind replaying every moment of the hours he and Savannah had spent together.

  God, how he had missed her. This was what he had refused to acknowledge all these years, because to do so had only brought legions of hurt.

  No matter where he had gone or whom he had been with, his heart and soul belonged in Mississippi, with the only woman he had ever truly loved.

  She had believed him to be asleep when she had risen from the bed in the middle of the night and taken off in his car. He hadn't stopped her because she needed to do what was right for her.

  All night he had told himself that he would leave her alone. He'd go away again and let the past die once and for all. If she wanted to marry the doctor, then he had to stay out of it, no matter if he thought she was making an enormous mistake. No matter if he still loved her.

  No matter if he wanted her for his wife.

  Christ. He swung around and deliberately banged his head once against the wood frame, cursing his stupidity. He would call Nick to come and get him, then he'd pack up and head out. That was the plan. If he stayed, he would most likely do something stupid. Something Savannah might hate him for. Something that would feel damn good to him, though.

  The sound of the front door slamming brought Donovan's head up and sparked his blood like a hot wire. Had Savannah returned? It had to be her; no one else knew where he was.

  Donovan reached down to grab his shirt off the floor. When he straightened, he found Frank Harper on the threshold, dressed in black from the tip of his shit-kicker boots to the Stetson riding his head. Not a good start to the day.

  The last time they had squared off, Donovan had broken Frank's nose, which still sported a slight cant, and Frank had managed to blacken Donovan's eye to the point where he couldn't open it for a week.

  Donovan sat down on the edge of the windowsill and crossed his ankles. "I guess I don't need to ask why you're here."

  Frank's hands curled into fists at his sides. "I warned you ten years ago to stay away from my sister, you son of a bitch."

  "Are you conveying Savannah's request or your own?"

  "Savannah's getting married today and I won't let anyone--especially you--ruin it for her. I told you the last time we crossed paths back in Detroit what I'd do if you ever came near my sister again." Frank put his hand behind his back and Donovan caught the glimmer of steel as Savannah's brother leveled a gun at him. "Perhaps you'll listen now."

  "So you're going to kill me? You thin
k that's a good idea?" Donavon asked calmly.

  "I should have done it a long time ago. I should never have given you the chance to walk back into my sister's life."

  "So when I'm dead and you're behind bars, who will be Savannah's fortress then? Who'll make sure nothing disrupts the hermetically sealed bubble you've put her in? And what'll happen to my daughter, Frank? Yeah, I see you're surprised. I know all about Reese, and if I was holding that gun, you might be the one contemplating the afterlife right now. I know it was you who told Savannah she was doing the right thing by keeping Reese from me."

  The shock quickly wore off and a renewed determination lit Frank's eyes. "She told you that, did she?"

  "She didn't have to. I know her better than you think. She would never have kept this secret had you not been breathing down her neck." Donovan clamped his fingers around the windowsill. "She loves you, you know, though I haven't a fucking clue why."

  "I am the only one who took care of Savannah, you asshole. You claimed to love her, but your dismissal nearly destroyed her. I was there to pick up the pieces while you were out screwing every whore you could lay your hands on."

  "I'm sure that's what you want to believe, and I don't doubt that you fostered that notion in Savannah's head."

  "Don't lay your guilt on my doorstep. You got what you deserved. You lost the best damn thing that would ever come your way, and I'm fucking glad. She was too good for you, but you couldn't see that. It was always all about you, the football hero. The Titan."

  "You sound jealous."

  "I don't want anything you have. Then I'd just be another low-life jock spreading my sperm across the states."

  "As opposed to what you are now? Farmer in the dell and all that happy horse crap--sure you're fulfilled? Maybe if you had something going on in your own life, you wouldn't be so damn interested in your sister's."

  "Maybe if you had a sister, you'd have a fucking clue. But you've got no one anymore, do you? You left your roots behind you to become someone important, but you're not so important now, are you?"

  "No, I guess I'm not. So what's your beef, Frank? Are you blaming me because your bum knee kept you from going pro?"

  "You just can't believe there's a life outside of football, can you? That was always your problem. You belonged to this exclusive jock club and no one was good enough to gain entrance, even Savannah."

  Donovan gritted his teeth. "You know that's bullshit. My whole life was Savannah."

  "Really. So you ignored her and then wondered why she would look to another man. She was pregnant and you were too self-absorbed to be there for her when she needed you."

  "I tried to contact her, and you damn well know it. My letters came back. I suspect that was your doing."

  "So if you thought all this, why didn't you tell Savannah?"

  "Because I know she loves you, as misguided as you are."

  Frank's grip tightened on the gun. "Misguided or not, you are history. Savannah's marrying Jake, a man who'll love her and Reese and treat my sister the way she deserves to be treated. Not fuck her and leave her, like you."

  Donovan started toward Frank, wanting to wrap his hands around the bastard's throat and throttle him until he gurgled, but Frank cocked the trigger.

  "Stay right there, unless you're hoping to be buried beneath the floorboards." He gestured with the pistol. "Now turn around and hold your hands out behind you."

  Every muscle in Donovan's body ached to do injury to Savannah's brother. He was lying. He had been behind the scenes manipulating Savannah, but she loved him too much to see it.

  Stiffly, Donovan pivoted around, his gaze centered on a picture on the wall as Frank came up behind him.

  "This time I intend to make sure nothing interferes in my sister's life."

  Donovan heard the swift rise of the pistol and tried to jerk around, but the gun butt slammed brutally against the back of his skull, his knees buckling as a consuming blackness took him down.

  Chapter Seven

  Savannah sat silently through the ordeal of getting her hair arranged. Marlene, her childhood friend and hairdresser, didn't notice as she talked a mile a minute, more excited than the bride-to-be about the upcoming nuptials. The bride-to-be had far more pressing concerns. She had not slept a wink; she had been too wracked with guilt and confusion.

  As soon as was feasible, she had called Jake. But she had gotten his answering machine, and his cell phone was out of range.

  She had forgotten that he and his best man, who was his brother, Jeff, had gone out fishing, wanting to have a few hours bonding.

  Savannah summoned a smile and appropriate responses to Marlene's questions as she showed her friend to the door afterward, but had someone asked what she'd said or what had been said to her, Savannah would have drawn a complete blank.

  Alone, she stood at her bedroom window hoping that Jake would get her message. Until she spoke to him, she had to continue on as though nothing had changed, as though she had not just ruined what could have been a new beginning before she had even gotten the chance to start.

  Savannah glanced to the west, toward the dense woods. Somewhere among the tall pines sat Magnolia Hills. And Donovan. Was he thinking about her? Was he happy that he'd proved she wasn't over him, as she had so steadfastly claimed?

  Perhaps he had planned this seduction all along. Maybe it wasn't coincidence that he had appeared the day before she was to be married.

  Savannah turned away from the window and closed her eyes. In the distance, she could hear the church bells chime, a hundred-year-old tradition that proclaimed a wedding would soon be taking place. A reminder that should have brought her joy. Dear God, what was she going to do?

  "There's my angel," a male voice said.

  Savannah turned to find Jake smiling in the doorway, but his smile faded as he caught the expression on her face. He crossed the room and gently laid his hands on her arms. It was all Savannah could do not to cry.

  "What's the matter, honey? Don't tell me you've changed your mind?"

  Though he said the words half-jokingly, Savannah felt her heart twist, explanations and apologies choking in her throat.

  "I got your message," he said, his voice concerned as he tugged her toward the bed and sat her down. "What is it? Has something happened? It is Reese? Is she all right?"

  Savannah couldn't hold his gaze. "She's fine. This has nothing to do with Reese." But didn't it? Her actions had not only affected her life, but her daughter's as well. Perhaps, had she been thinking more of Reese than herself, none of this would have happened. "We have to talk."

  He sat down beside her and cupped her jaw, turning her face to his. "You know you can say anything to me, don't you?"

  Tears welled up behind Savannah's eyes and threatened to spill over. "Yes," she whispered. "You've always been a good friend to me. Better than I deserve at times."

  "I hope to be more than just your friend. I want to be your partner, your confidant. A shoulder for you to cry on. Whatever you need."

  He was so sweet, considerate, and kind, it was more than she could bear.

  "You may not want me anymore, after what I have to say."

  He paused. "I think I already know."

  Savannah stared. "You do?"

  "Does this have something to do with Donovan Jerricho?"

  "How--"

  "It's simple deduction. He's come home. I knew that."

  "But you didn't say anything."

  "What was I going to say? 'Don't talk to him. I don't want him here; I'm nervous about losing you. He's going to want you back. You may want him back. He was your first love.' Those kind of things?"

  "Yes."

  "What good would it have done me? I can't make you love me, Savannah. I understood what I was getting into, and you can't help who you love. I just wish it had been me. I wanted to take care of you and Reese, love you both the way I've been hoping to for a long time."

  Her heart ached for him. "Jake..."

  "I never to
ld you, but I've had a crush on you since high school."

  "You did?"

  He gave her a boyish half grin. "I did. But you never noticed. Your eyes were for Donovan only."

  He was right. Back then, she had seen little else. "I didn't set out to hurt you."

  He brushed the hair back from her face. "I know, honey. I know." He took a breath and said, "So where do we go from here?"

  Savannah rose from the bed and glanced out the window. She saw Frank pulling in, an agitated look about him as he exited his car, glancing back at it several times before his attention was diverted by her aunt Jessie.

  Her aunt darted across the yard and began gesturing toward the house. Savannah didn't have to read lips to figure out what her aunt was saying.

  As though on cue, Frank's gaze shot to her bedroom window. He had just learned that Jake was there, despite his order that she was to act as though nothing had happened. But she couldn't deceive someone she cared for.

  She dearly loved her brother and would always appreciate how he had held her together after Donovan. But she was older now--and hopefully wiser. She had her own ways of doing things; she just couldn't get him to see that.

  Her brother marched toward the house, and Savannah figured she had about two minutes to say what she had to say.

  Taking a deep breath, she faced Jake. "If you want to call off the wedding, I'll understand."

  Jake rose from the bed and walked toward her. When he stood before her, softly dappled in a ray of midmorning sun, he said, "No, I don't want to call off the wedding. I love you, Savannah. I know whatever happened between you and Jerricho was..." He shrugged, struggling to find the right words. "Let's call it a onetime mistake that will never be repeated. I don't want to throw everything away because of one error."

  The tears Savannah had tried to hold back spilled over her lashes. "You don't have it in you to hate anyone, do you?"

  "Hate is a waste of time." He cupped the back of her neck and drew her toward him. "But I don't hate you, if that's what you're worried about. I could never hate you. I don't blame you for whatever may have transpired between you and Jerricho. I know you love me." He bent his knees and came down to her level, looking her in the eyes to say, "You do, Savannah, don't you?"

  It all came down to this, Savannah thought, a terrible, encompassing numbness settling over her skin, the truth welling up inside her, telling her all the things she had already known but refused to acknowledge.