The Baby: A Steamy Rock Star Romance (Cruise Control Book 3)

by Sian Ceinwen

  Lita lowered her face to his and kissed him. “Me too.”

  She began to grind her hips on his, and nothing in the world had ever felt as right as it did at that moment.

  They were sitting in her doctor’s office again, and Lita was excited to see their baby. People were looking at them as they sat together, talking quietly. Since her identity had been revealed, Lita had started to get used to people looking at her, particularly when she went out in public with Sebastian.

  “So, want to place your bets on whether or not it’s a boy or a girl?” Sebastian asked Lita.

  “I don’t care; I really don’t.” Lita shrugged.

  “Well, I’m going to bet you fifty thousand dollars that it’s a boy.”

  “Okay, but I don’t have fifty thousand dollars to pay you if you’re right.” Lita rolled her eyes at him.

  Sebastian grinned. “Well, if it’s a girl, I’ll pay you fifty thousand dollars. If it’s a boy, you can owe me fifty thousand kisses. I’ll let you pay it off over time because I’m nice like that.”

  Lita shook her head and pulled out her phone to text him.

  It’s so embarrassing when you say shit like that in public.

  He grinned at her, then got out his phone to text her back.

  Does it matter what people think? Also, are you taking my bet?

  Yeah, it matters. I’m still getting used to this, Seb. Sure, why not. I think it’s a girl, and I could use the $50k to pay my overbearing landlord.

  Sebastian laughed, put his arm around her, and hugged her before replying.

  Deal. Sebastian Junior is one lucky boy!

  We agreed on Cletus, didn’t we?

  He seemed to think for a second before he replied, this time.

  I thought we could go with Tchaikovsky as a name for him.

  Lita actually burst out laughing at this as her name was called by the same sonographer that she’d seen last time.

  Kim led them to a different room, but it was set up in the same fashion. Lita couldn’t wait, she was so excited, and she climbed onto the bed, eager to see the baby. She was feeling even more movement now, lots of little flutters.

  “Okay, let’s have a look in there, guys,” Kim said with a smile.

  She put the wand on Lita’s stomach, and the screen lit up. Lita gasped when she saw their baby on the screen.

  “Look how big it is; it’s a real baby,” Lita said, the amazement obvious in her voice.

  Sebastian chuckled and said, “You’re so cute, princess.”

  “Yup, it’s definitely a baby,” Kim agreed.

  “Is it a boy or a girl?” Sebastian asked. “We’ve got a bet going.”

  “I have some important measurements to do today. If you really want to know, though, we can look now.” Kim smiled and winked at him.

  “Yes, please!” Sebastian looked like a child who’d just been told that they could open their present on Christmas Eve.

  Kim laughed, then moved the wand around a bit. After about thirty seconds, she froze something on the screen, and Lita stared at it in confusion.

  “Do you see it?” Kim asked them.

  Lita looked up at Sebastian, who was staring at the screen as well. He didn’t look like he saw anything more than Lita did.

  “Um, nope. I can’t see anything.” Lita shook her head.

  “Exactly,” Kim said, giving them a knowing smile.

  “It’s a girl?” Sebastian gasped.

  “Yes,” Kim confirmed, then pointed out how she could tell.

  “We’re having a girl.” Lita shook her head.

  She hadn’t known how much more bonded to the baby she would be once she had this information. It suddenly became a little person in her head. Lita was going to have a baby girl. She still didn’t care whether her baby was a boy or a girl, but it helped it to become a whole lot more real for her.

  “My little bambina,” Sebastian said softly, and Lita smiled up at him.

  “Okay, I’m going to move on to those important measurements now,” Kim informed them.

  Sebastian squeezed her hand, and Lita looked up to see that his eyes were glistening again.

  “Are you crying because you’re happy or just because you owe me fifty thousand dollars now?” Lita couldn’t resist teasing him.

  Sebastian laughed, then leaned down and kissed her swiftly on the lips before standing up again as Kim started measuring the length of the baby’s arms, legs, and body. She talked with them as she did it, running through what the measurements meant.

  Eventually, Kim said, “Okay, let’s check out the heart now. Want to hear the heartbeat again?”

  “We actually bought a Doppler, so that Sebastian could record the sound. I’ve done it a few times, but I’d never say no.”

  “You wouldn’t be the first patient to admit they bought a Doppler online,” Kim said with a smile.

  Then she started to look at the baby’s heart. It wasn’t until she’d been silent for a solid thirty seconds that Lita noticed the change in her demeanor. The room had gone completely silent as Kim took measurements of the baby’s heart.

  “Is everything okay?” Sebastian was the one who asked this, and Lita looked up at him to see him staring at Kim with a frown on his face.

  Kim seemed distracted, and she gave them a forced smile. “I’m just getting some measurements of the heart, and then I think that I’ll get Dr. Watson to come in and have a second look at the measurements I’ve taken.”

  Lita had never felt fear as intense as the fear that she felt right now. Something was wrong; she could tell by the way that Kim was avoiding their gaze. The room was full of tense silence.

  After another minute or two, Kim smiled at them again and said, “I’m just going to get the doctor, and we’ll be right back.”

  She walked out of the room, and Lita burst into tears as she said, “Something’s wrong.”

  “I know, princess.” He didn’t even try to deny it or reassure her.

  Lita continued to cry, and Sebastian got her a few tissues from a tissue box on the desk before handing them to her. She wiped at her eyes, and Sebastian bent down to kiss her again. Lita could barely hold herself together right now, and she clung to Sebastian’s hand for support as the door opened and both Dr. Watson and Kim walked through it.

  “Hi, Lita and Sebastian,” Dr. Watson said to them. “It’s lovely to see you again.”

  “What’s wrong?” Lita asked, unable to handle small talk at the moment.

  “Kim was just having some trouble with a few of the measurements of your baby’s heart. I’m just here to double-check them and make sure the ones that she took were correct.”

  This wasn’t comforting at all for Lita. She felt like she’d just been subjected to doctor-speak for ‘there is something terrible happening, but I don’t want to tell you right now.’

  The silence felt interminable as it dragged on while Dr. Watson re-took what seemed to be all of the measurements that Kim had already taken. Then they heard the heartbeat again as the doctor measured the heart rate. Once she did, she left the heartbeat sound going. Lita didn’t know what they were listening for, but nothing sounded different or odd to her.

  “Do you hear that?” Kim asked Dr. Watson quietly.

  “Yes, I do, and your measurements were correct,” Dr. Watson responded.

  Lita moaned and started crying heavily again.

  “Please tell us what’s wrong with our baby,” Sebastian said in a firm, authoritative voice.

  Both Dr. Watson and Kim looked at them; their faces both looked tense.

  “Yes, come with me into my office, we’ll talk there,” Dr. Watson told him.

  “Is our baby going to die?” Lita asked, crying even harder just from asking the question.

  “I’ll explain in a minute, Lita.”

  Kim wiped away the gel from Lita’s stomach, and Sebastian helped her up from the bed. She was still crying when Sebastian put his arms around her and pulled her tight to him for a hug. Li
ta felt sick; she was sure that their baby was going to die.

  She wished that this was just some awful nightmare that she could wake up from, but it wasn’t. They followed Dr. Watson into her office and took seats. Lita could barely control her tears or her breathing, and she felt like anything might tip her over the edge right now.

  “Okay, as you have guessed, we’ve spotted an abnormality on the ultrasound. There are two things that are concerning to me, your baby’s heartbeat has some irregularities. Also, some of the measurements are giving us some cause for concern. Unfortunately, what I think we might be seeing is a fibroma, which is a tumor on the heart.”

  Lita felt sure that she was going to be sick, and Sebastian asked, “Our baby has cancer?”

  “No. They’re usually benign tumors. They’re rarely cancerous and don’t spread, but it is very concerning. It can cause problems if the tumor grows faster than your baby. I’m going to send you for a fetal echocardiogram, which will be able to help us with a diagnosis.”

  Lita couldn’t form any words; she just continued crying quietly. Their baby, their beautiful, beautiful baby that she loved so much. It wasn’t fair. This couldn’t be happening.

  “What is the survival rate?” Sebastian asked, and he squeezed Lita’s hand before stroking her skin with his thumb.

  “It will be a case of frequent monitoring to see how the tumor progresses in relation to the growth of your baby. There’s a range of treatment options a specialist will go through with you if it comes to that. I’m not positioned to be able to give you the best information. I’m very sorry.”

  “I understand,” Sebastian said, sounding tense. “When will we need to go for the next test?”

  “I’ll call the referral through myself, and they should contact Lita for an appointment time. I’d expect it to be within a week, though. Once that’s done, you’ll discuss the next course of action with the pediatric cardiologist.”

  The rest of the appointment passed by in a blur for Lita. She was grateful that Sebastian was able to think clearly enough to ask the questions that she almost certainly would want answers to later.

  Lita sat, feeling numb, and with her hands on her bump. She could feel the tiny butterflies of movement as their baby moved inside her. How could this beautiful, wonderful, amazing miracle have something wrong with her? It wasn’t fair.

  Eventually, they thanked Dr. Watson for her support and walked back out to the reception area in a somber mood. Ben met them in the waiting area, and when he caught sight of them, he frowned before looking away.

  People in the waiting room were looking at them both, and for once, Lita stared back. They were sitting there with their baby bumps, and happy, trouble-free pregnancies, and she hated those women for getting what she wanted. There was nothing more that she wanted in the world than for her baby to be okay.

  She wished that she could go back to an hour ago, back when she was joking and laughing with Sebastian about their stupid bet. Lita couldn’t stop crying, and Sebastian paid for the appointment before putting his arm around her as they walked out of the doctor’s office toward the SUV with Ben.

  There were paparazzi waiting for them. Lita had forgotten about them while she’d been inside, they had taken pictures of them going into the office, and there were more now. She kept her head down and followed close behind Ben with Sebastian still holding her tight. Their questions were the usual ones about them and their baby.

  Then, as they were getting into the car, someone called, “Why are you crying, Lita? Is something wrong with your baby?”

  Ben closed the door just as Sebastian let fly with a string of curse words. For a second, Lita thought that Sebastian might get out and attack the reporter, but Ben stood on the other side of the door and held it shut until he saw Sebastian sit back in his seat.

  As Ben was getting into the driver’s seat, Lita saw Sebastian break in front of her. All of the tension left his body, he put his head in his hands, and he cried. Lita rubbed his back softly, wiping her own tears away with her other hand. Neither of them said anything, but after a minute, Sebastian sat up and put his seatbelt on before he put his arm around Lita and pulled her into him.

  They traveled to their apartment in heavy silence. All Lita could think about was their tiny baby and the tumor that was growing on her heart.

  “You can go home, Ben. I don’t think we’ll be going anywhere tonight,” Sebastian told him in a monotone voice when they got to their apartment.

  Ben just nodded and left quietly. Lita wandered through their apartment aimlessly. She couldn’t stop crying, but she couldn’t do anything else. She opened the door to the room that was going to be their baby’s room. It was still empty; they hadn’t even had a chance to go shopping for the baby. Would this room even get used now?

  That thought was so unbearably painful that she broke into a keening wail and dropped to her knees. She wished that she could go back to this morning; she’d started today excited and happy to have their scan, to get to see their baby again. Now she didn’t even know if they would get to have a baby at all.

  Sebastian sat on the floor next to her and pulled her into his lap, holding her while she cried. He had his arms around her, and his hands were on her baby bump.

  “It’s going to be okay, princess,” he whispered.

  “You don’t know that, Sebastian. It’s not fair.”

  “I know it’s not. We have to hope for the best, though. The doctor said there are options, surgery if the tumor gets too big. If it grows at the same rate as the baby, she will be fine. We just need to wait and see.”

  Lita wiped at the tears falling from her eyes. “I’m scared.”

  “Me too.”

  27

  LEVEL 21.2 – Silenzio

  Your baby is the size of a dragon egg.

  Okay, you probably think your bump is massive...future you will laugh at how naïve you are. Your baby is going to grow to ten times its current size. Look down at your bump, now look at these words, now down at your bump, now at these words...TEN TIMES THE SIZE.

  With that sobering thought behind your every waking minute, now, you may have noticed your hair and nails are growing much faster. Pregnancy hormones are behind this, as well as the increased circulation of blood in your body. It’s taking nutrients to your baby, but also to your hair and nails, causing their rapid growth.

  On Tuesday morning, Lita woke in her bed in the new apartment. Everything was beautiful and perfect until it all came rushing back to her. Every morning she woke, and she would have a wonderful few seconds before the reality of their situation would hit her. Sebastian had canceled his flight back to Chicago and would be staying in Seattle until they knew what was happening.

  They had their echocardiogram today, and Lita was nervous. She had been Googling almost constantly since Thursday, and she had read every story she could find about fetal tumors. From stories about dead babies to miracle babies and everything in between.

  Her waking hours were spent in a constant state of fear that she was sure couldn’t be good for the baby either. She’d called her boss after her appointment and taken a week off work, which had seemed like a good idea at the time, but now she wondered if it really had been such a good idea after all because she had a lot of free time to freak out about everything now.

  “Morning, princess,” Sebastian said softly when he walked into the kitchen.

  Lita was seated at the dining table and eating her breakfast.

  “Hey, Seb,” Lita replied with a tight smile.

  “How are you feeling?”

  “I’m terrified. I just want her to be okay,” Lita told him.

  “I know. Me too.”

  Sebastian walked over to her, pulled her up to standing, and wrapped his arms around her. He was only wearing a pair of sweatpants, and she rested her head on his chest, listening to his heart beating. She started crying, and he wrapped his arms tighter around her as her tears rolled from her eyes and down his bare chest.


  Their appointment wasn’t until the afternoon, and they spent the day in somber silence. Lita barely spoke any words. She just sat and stared at the television as episode after episode of a show on Netflix passed her by. Every time she was asked if she was still watching, she pressed the button to continue.

  Sebastian sat next to her off and on, bringing her some lunch that Ben had gone out and gotten for them, but Lita couldn’t stomach the thought of eating. She managed to get down half of the sandwich after Sebastian reminded her that she needed to eat for their baby.

  Her phone pinged with unread and unanswered text messages and phone calls. Neither she nor Sebastian had told anyone about what exactly had happened at their appointment. Sebastian had fielded the early calls and messages for her, letting them know that they had received bad news but that they weren’t ready to talk about it and would know more after their next appointment. Lita knew that their friends and family were worried, but she was physically incapable of having those conversations. The call to Simon to ask for time off work had been hard enough.

  Lita had cried so much since last Thursday that she felt like she would dehydrate. By the time that she and Sebastian were sitting in the fetal cardiologist’s office that afternoon, though, she felt completely and utterly numb.

  He’d introduced himself to them as Dr. Sanders, and he was telling them the results of their echocardiogram. “So, unfortunately, your obstetrician was correct, and what I’m seeing is a tumor on your baby’s heart. It’s causing an arrhythmia and is larger than I’d like to see for a fibroma at this gestation. We can’t normally see them on an ultrasound this early, which is of cause for concern.

  “Our plan is to perform another echocardiogram at the end of the week. It will tell us how the tumor is growing in relation to your baby. The concern is that it seems as though the tumor is causing an arrhythmia in your baby’s heartbeat. If the tumor grows too quickly, it can block blood flow to the heart and cause heart failure.”

  Lita wanted to scream. She wanted to cry and wail and rage at the world for what was happening to them, but she couldn’t. She sat in silence, listening to the terrible things that she was being told. The very real possibilities that were being presented to her.