Pretend I’m Yours

by Bates, Aiden

  I settled on D’Angelo’s Voodoo, which was just about the only record there I was familiar with.

  The sound rose up from somewhere close by, and then swelled around me and all through the house. I guessed he had speakers lined throughout the walls, in every room of the house.

  When I got back to the dining room, Saul was setting the table. It was a relatively large table, but he had set two places. Right next to each other.

  “Great choice,” he said, nodding along to the music.

  He pulled out a chair for me, and I sat down. He excused himself and dashed off, returning with a bottle of red wine that he held up for me.

  “This is a 1990 Pinot. I’ve been saving it for a special occasion.”

  He poured me a glass, then stood back and watched as I took a tentative sip. It had a rich, fruity taste, and a strong dusky aroma. It lingered on the tongue too. I loved it.

  “This is delightful, Saul,” I said earnestly.

  “I’m glad you like it.”

  Next, he ushered in the steak, steaming invitingly on a wide wooden board. He sliced off a few pieces and ladled two onto a plate. He served mashed potatoes on the side, with steamed green beans. He placed the plate in front of me, then served himself and finally sat down.

  The food looked incredible. It smelled even better. It was only then I realized I had not eaten since that morning.

  “What are you waiting for?” Saul asked, grinning. “Dig in!”

  I did, taking a few hesitant bites at first. The food was so delicious I closed my eyes and let out an involuntary moan. Saul laughed at that, and I had no doubts as to why. It was such a perfect meal, paired with an excellent wine. The music was soulful, and there was a beautiful man beside me. This right here was everything.

  “So,” I spoke up after a few bites. “I saw this story on YouTube some time back, about a series of questions that are supposed to help any two strangers get to know each other better. Did you see it?”

  He shook his head.

  “Really? What rock have you been living under?”

  “Uh, the Roch Mountains? You might have seen them as you were coming in.”

  I smiled. I had walked right into that one.

  “Right. Basically, it’s 36 questions, reflecting increasing levels of intimacy. Two people take turns asking each other the questions, and they are supposed to answer truthfully and openly. At the end of it, they will apparently have the other person all figured out.”

  Saul nodded, his eyes a little too cautious and uncertain.

  “And you want to give this a try?” he asked.

  “Well, not the whole thing, obviously. Just the ones that I can remember. And the objective is to get to know each other a little better, that’s all.”

  I sounded defensive, and I hated it. I may have imagined it, but it seemed his body language had changed ever so slightly. He paused, his mouth chewing slowly as he thought about it. Eventually, he nodded.

  “Okay, let’s give it a shot.”

  I racked my brain, trying to remember what the questions had been.

  “We’ll start with the easy stuff,” I said. “What would a perfect day be like for you?”

  I could tell Saul was one of those people who took their time to find their words before speaking. It was almost a full minute before he responded. That dark look of quiet intensity returned to his face as he sat there thinking, the fork suspended in midair between plate and mouth.

  “I have found that a lot of my days here have come pretty close to perfect,” he said. “There’s something about the solitude, the communion with nature, the freedom to do whatever you want… But to answer your question, the perfect day would probably begin with a nice, proper breakfast by the porch as the sun came up. I would read for a bit, then shower and head out. I would visit all my favorite spots in the mountains. The secret caves, the tiny little fork in the river where the water runs clear and you can sometimes catch fish. I would trek through the woods, make my way to the lake on the other side of the mountains, lounge on the beach and maybe work on my tan. Then I would go up the lowest peak of the Roch to watch the sunset, because there isn’t a better view of it anywhere in the world. Dinner, then, some music and then bed.”

  “Wow. That sounds lovely.”

  I wanted to say that I would love to do all that with him, but I bit my tongue.

  “What about you?” he asked.

  “To be perfectly honest, I can’t think of many better days than today. I got to reboot my life, I’m in this ridiculously scenic place, in this unreal house, with a beautiful man.”

  Too blunt? But Saul only grinned.

  “And,” I went on. “About to have the night of my life.”

  Not for the first time, I felt that magnetic pull, that undeniable sizzle in the air between us as he stared at me. His eyes were hard and intense. I felt his leg shift between us, and then his knee grazed my thigh.

  “What’s the next question?” he asked, his voice gruff.

  I drained my glass of wine to settle my nerves.

  “Hmm. Let’s see. What do you value most in a friendship?”

  “That one is easy. Loyalty. Everything else is meaningless if there is no loyalty. Honesty, understanding, compatibility… those are all important in a friendship or even a relationship. But loyalty is what makes it worth it.”

  I knew he was referring to the incident with his ex-fiancé. It hit me that I had not mentioned that I had already looked him up and knew a lot more about him than he thought. But I decided it was best to let him reveal himself in his own time, as he saw fit.

  “I’m more of a romantic, I suppose,” I told him. “I want my friendships to be telepathic. I want them to know everything about me and me them, so we can know what the other is thinking, what they want, how they would react to different scenarios and so forth. I don’t know if I can sum it all up in one word.”

  “Have you had such a friendship?” Saul asked.

  “I do have such a friendship. My best friend. Her name is Jess.”

  “Oh. That’s nice. I would love to meet her, get the dirt on you.”

  I imagined Jess spilling all my secrets to Saul and made a mental note not to leave her alone with him.

  “Right. Next question. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?”

  He bobbed his head this way and that as if to say, “Interesting question”. Noticing my empty wine glass, he reached over and filled it almost halfway.

  “I have always wanted to be a professional photographer. For some time as a child, I thought I might even get into film production. But I slowly learned that my true passion lay with photography. I figured the best place to pursue my dream was in Hollywood, but it never really worked out the way I wanted. And then I came here, and I just sort of dropped it. I’m not sure why, now that I think about it.”

  “Are all these yours?” I pointed around the house, indicating some of the paintings and photographs.

  “Some of them, yeah. Daily reminders of the life I left behind.”

  “I think they’re amazing,” I told him earnestly.

  I was feeling happy and full from the food, and the wine was seeping into my brain pretty quickly.

  “Thank you. That means a lot. What about you? Hopes and dreams?”

  “I never really figured out the one thing I was better at than everybody else. Nothing I could make into a skill, anyway. As I got older, I realized the most important things to me are happiness and family. I know it’s cliché, but that’s about it for me. Whatever I end up doing, as long as it brings me joy I’m good.”

  “I know exactly what you mean,” Saul said. “Ultimately, that’s all anyone really needs.”

  “Okay, I think this is the last question. And the most important one. What do you like about me?”

  He put down his wine glass and turned his body in my direction. Below the table, I felt the knee brush again at my thigh, sending shoots of
pleasure right into my crotch. It was suddenly very difficult to hold his gaze.

  “I like a lot of things about you, Kyler,” he said. “I like your eyes. I like how they dance with mischief and excitement when I touch you. I like your wit and charm. I think you have an easy confidence that I find refreshing. I like how easy it is to talk to you, and how well we seem to click. But mostly…”

  He leaned forward, so that the full extent of his maleness hit me in the face.

  “I like how your body perks up in my presence, how it calls to me, begs me to take control of it.”

  The silence fell over us suddenly. Or it may have been gradual. I was only vaguely aware of what was around us. From the depths of my mind, I noticed the music had stopped playing, and that the sound I was hearing was the drumming of my own heart.

  Emboldened by the wine, I leaned forward also.

  “I forgot to mention,” I said, my voice thick. “I’m wearing those cute little panties I bought for the wedding night. You know, the ones you’re supposed to take off me with your teeth.”

  I could see the muscles around his jaw working.

  “You’re a little drunk,” I heard him say. “I’m not the type of guy to take advantage of my husband like that.”

  All I heard was ‘husband’. He was right. My body was on high alert, my every nerve was tingling in anticipation. If I had not drunk so much wine, I would probably have ignored the voices screaming in my head imploring me to kiss him and leaned back into my seat. As it was, my inhibitions were shot. I could only think of his lips, inches from mine, and wonder how I had not kissed him yet.

  And so I did. It was the easiest thing to lean in all the way and meet his lips. The room fell away in a whoosh. I kissed him hard, and a million little lights exploded behind my eyes.

  8

  Saul

  I do not know why I hesitated earlier. It felt like the most natural thing to do. His lips felt like velvet under mine. Every reservation I had been nursing seemed stupid, unnecessary. Why had I waited so long to do this?

  I met the gentle pressure of his lips with an intensity of my own. He tasted like wine and bliss and longing. I reached over and put my arm around his waist. I pulled him to me hungrily, suddenly needing to feel his body pressed up against mine. I heard the chair beneath him scrape against the wooden floor and then fall as I lifted him off it. And then he was on my lap, and I was kissing him hard, and I was running my fingers through the tangle of his hair, lost in a haze of sensations.

  I pulled him even closer, deepening the kiss. I heard him moan deep in his throat. The sound drove the last sensible thought from my mind. My cock pulsed against his thigh, begging for freedom. I moved my hand from the small of his back to Kyler’s chest, finding a button here and pulling it open, another one there and brushing it aside.

  Finally, his shirt lay open, and I made contact with skin. I caressed every inch of him I could reach. His body was hard and muscular, but it was also soft beyond belief, and hot to the touch.

  He probed the inside of my mouth with his tongue. I met it with mine and they battled, neither willing to give in, our mouths hungrily devouring each other. I felt him shift and then begin to slide off my thighs. Unwilling to let him go, I reached around him and seized him by his ass. Firm, I thought, as I reached out behind him with one hand, locating the cold surface of the table. With a sweep, I sent plates crashing to the floor. I planted his ass on the table, and he spread his legs so I could step into them and wrap them around my back.

  All the while, I kissed him. His mouth slipped and slid on mine, nibbling, smacking, sucking.

  I felt his hands move down my chest, linger for a moment on my navel and then disappear down my pants. I was wearing sweatpants, so they offered no resistance for his inquiring fingers. Soon I felt them grip the fullness of my erection, and it was so good I almost cried out.

  Stop, I thought. He is drunk, you idiot. But my body was on autopilot. Our lips continued their dance. He gave my cock a firm squeeze as he tried to get a better grip.

  I broke the kiss then, forcing myself to push off him and open my eyes.

  He looked even sexier in that state of arousal. His eyes were heavy and half-closed. His lips were glossy and slightly swollen. His cheeks were flushed. It took all my self-control to untangle myself from him and step away. He slid his hand out from my sweatpants, and they came away slick with a trail of pre-cum. I forced myself to look at him, ignoring the blazing desire in his eyes.

  It took two tries to find my voice when I tried to talk. It was suddenly husky, deep, like I had not used it in a while.

  “Let’s go out for a walk. Moon’s out tonight. I want to show you my infinity pool.”

  He looked at me with unfocused eyes. I could tell he was wondering why. I hated to do it, but I didn’t want to have him like that. I wanted him so badly, but I wanted him sober and in control of himself. Hopefully, a walk around the edge of the woods would clear his head a little.

  If he had any objections, he kept them to himself. He nodded once in agreement. I stepped all the way back and looked with some amusement at the mess we had created. Luckily, only the plates had been sent to the floor, so the mess wasn’t that big.

  Kyler buttoned his shirt up slowly. Apparently, I had ripped off two of the buttons, forcing him to leave a portion of his chest bare. I resisted the temptation to put my arm around him as we walked out of the house.

  The evening was warm and beautiful. The moon shone through thin, wispy clouds, illuminating the mansion and the edge of the clearing perfectly. I decided the most scenic route would be along the river, so I set off in that direction. We walked quietly for some time, each of us clearly lost in thought. For me, a debate was raging in my head about whether or not to come clean about my identity.

  “I need to tell you something,” I said as we left the house and turned onto a path that would lead us to the infinity pool a few miles away.

  Kyler turned to me, his expression curious. He looked beautiful in the glow of the moonlight, with his hair let loose like that.

  “I don’t know how much you really know me, but I have a bit of a public profile.”

  I waited for him to respond in that quick, witty way I was already used to, but he said nothing. He continued to walk beside me, occasionally looking at me to let me know he was listening.

  “My dad is a Hollywood movie star. In the literal sense. If you’ve watched any movie ever, then you’ve probably seen him in something. Anyway. Growing up in the shadow of a man like my dad was always going to be difficult. I never liked being in the public eye in the first place, but it came with the territory. For as long as I could remember, I was introduced as Rance McCormick’s son. We were the golden family, and there was nothing I could do about it.”

  “I tried to venture out on my own, start something that wouldn’t bear the weight of the McCormick name but it wasn’t easy. I told you I wanted to be a professional photographer. I tried starting my own company, but the first thing anyone would ask me is if I was doing it on behalf of my dad. It tainted whatever little traction I got; I would get some work done, only for the client to request me to submit their manuscript to my dad, or divulge details of the next movie he was working on.”

  “I was almost giving up when I met Chris. He was a young model, just out of college and looking for some work. He became my muse. I did some of my best work on him, and that partnership got both of us out of our rut. He was able to get his name out there, and I got a foot in the door of the industry. It seemed like the most natural thing for us to go out. We fell quickly in love. Or I did, anyway. I thought it was perfect. We spoke the same language. We had the same dreams, or so I thought.”

  “It turned out Chris was a bit more selfish than I was, and therefore better suited to Hollywood. Ironically. To this day, I have no idea why he did it. The relationship was going well. His career was, too. Then just like that I found him in bed with another man. Another model, as I later found out. It w
as almost as if I had been a phase for him, one he had no trouble leaving behind once he was done with me.”

  Kyler, who had been listening raptly, stopped walking and put a hand on my shoulder.

  “What an idiot,” he said. “I’m so sorry you had to go through that.”

  “That wasn’t even the worst part,” I went on. I found that once I had started talking, it was easier to just keep going, to unburden myself in front of this stranger I felt oddly comfortable around.

  “In the weeks after, there was all this speculation that we would get back together. The media published several articles implying so, and in one, they quoted Chris as saying he would be open to a reconciliation. I was still in love with him, so I contacted him and set up a meeting. It was the worst decision of my life. He came with his new lover. All he wanted was the collection of his photos I still had. We were flanked by paparazzi before I could even sit down. And so the narrative became that of my rejection and humiliation.”

  Kyler was shaking his head in disbelief.

  “Is that why you left?” he asked.

  “Yeah. I couldn’t be in that environment anymore. I needed a change and I got one here.”

  “Wow. Chris was a dick and a compete moron. I would never do that to you.”

  He said it with such intensity it was hard not to believe him. We had fallen in step again. In the distance, the reflection of the moon on the surface of the pool twinkled invitingly.

  “I have to tell you, Saul, this is more than I could ever have imagined possible. This is my wildest fantasy and then some. In the spirit of opening up, I do want to have children, and I cannot wait to start a family with you.”