The Nun's Betrothal

by Ida Curtis

  Although flattered by Ermguerrd’s words, Gilda felt reluctant to be involved with Justin again. “Isn’t the Bishop of Mainz the most appropriate person to examine the matter?”

  “Of course. But the bishop has close ties to Count Cedric. They rule Mainz together. The king believes that any findings from you and Lord Justin will be free of prejudice. You will report to Archbishop Humbert of Reims, who will make the final decision. That way Bishop Gunthar does not need to be involved.”

  Justin, who had been silent since Gilda entered the room, spoke directly to her, forcing her to look at him. “I told the king you might be reluctant. But he insisted that I try to persuade you. Perhaps you can suggest an alternative from Saint Ives to take your place. I will make up an excuse for you and give it to the king.”

  His reasonable tone and offer to speak to the king on her behalf annoyed her. Just like him to try and take charge. She had a blistering reply on the tip of her tongue but suddenly became aware of Ermguerrd watching her. “There is no need for you to speak for me, Lord Justin. You may tell the king I will accept the assignment.”

  Lord Justin frowned. “Investigating this matter will require that we journey to Mainz.” He took a step closer to Gilda, and she had to fight the urge to step back. His voice lowered as he asked, “Are you sure you wish to do that?”

  Refusing to be intimidated by his nearness, she replied, “Yes, I’m sure.” Her words sounded weak in her own ears, so she added in a stronger voice, “I look forward to seeing Mainz.”

  Ermguerrd cleared her throat and brought their attention back to her. “Perhaps I should speak to Sister Gilda alone for a few minutes, Lord Justin. You know the way to the dining hall. You will find a refreshing drink there.”

  When he was gone, Ermguerrd gestured for Gilda to sit and then seated herself behind her worktable. She glanced at a piece of parchment before her, giving them both a minute to think, and said, “Clearly there are strong feelings between you and Lord Justin. Do you wish to tell me why that is?”

  “Justin and I clashed often during the recent domestic dispute you referred to, Reverend Mother. It’s only natural that there be some tension between us.”

  When Gilda realized that Ermguerrd was waiting for her to continue, she added, “We seem to have completely different outlooks. Lord Justin, an advisor to the king, is one of his most powerful ministers. He looks at everything from a political point of view. My own sympathies are more directed to mending emotional problems than worrying about avoiding a political crisis. I suppose it’s natural our views are different.”

  “And yet you held your own in your last assignment. The solution to the affair seems to have pleased the king. Perhaps it’s a mix that makes for a fair outcome.”

  “Yes, in the end a compromise was reached,” Gilda admitted.

  Ermguerrd nodded. “Your different outlooks account for some of the tension I observed. It might also account for why the king wishes to pair you. He will receive a well-rounded report.”

  Ermguerrd paused, and Gilda knew the observant abbess wasn’t finished. The nuns often jested about the fact that Mother Superior could read their very soul. “Your brother is married to Lord Justin’s sister. I remember Lord Chetwynd and Lady Isabel well from the time they spent at Saint Ives. Their marriage gives you a more personal relationship to Lord Justin, does it not?”

  “Yes. You could say that.”

  “You recently visited your brother’s manor for the christening of their first child. Was Lord Justin there?”

  Gilda closed her eyes for a minute, remembering the christening of little Natalie, the sweetest little babe she’d ever seen. It was an emotional event that had filled her with wonder. “Yes, he was there.”

  “Did you and Lord Justin have a disagreement?”

  Gilda sighed, eager to confess and be done with it. “Yes, and it was mainly my doing. I have often been outspoken, something you know I have been struggling to control.”

  Concealing any surprise she might have felt, Ermguerrd said, “I know you have had problems in the past. But I thought you were doing well. What happened?”

  Isabel shook her head, wondering if she could make Ermguerrd understand the situation. “The atmosphere at Aquis is different from anything I’ve experienced. Isabel and Chetwynd are extremely fond of each other. It’s evident to everyone. They touch each other all the time. And when they aren’t touching, they look at each other in a certain way. It’s been that way from the first time I saw them together.”

  “Yes, I think I understand what you’re saying. Go on.”

  “Justin and I went for a walk after becoming godparents to little Natalie. Isabel fancies herself a matchmaker. I’m sure she’s the one who arranged for me to be the godmother and Justin the godfather. I was feeling very moved by the christening, and I believe Justin was also touched by the experience. There seemed to be a bond between us, and we kissed.” Isabel paused, wondering again at her action. “It didn’t last long.”

  “How did you feel about the kiss?”

  “I didn’t like it.”

  “Really. You were repulsed?”

  “No.” Gilda wondered if she could put her feelings into words. Ermguerrd had a reputation for helping her charges. Now that she had started, Gilda was eager to be as truthful as possible in hope of some insight on the matter. “What I didn’t like was the loss of control. There was a melting inside me. I forgot everything but my desire to continue the kiss. I wanted to get closer, but Justin pulled away.”

  Ermguerrd looked toward heaven for a few minutes as though searching for help. Facing the young nun again, she replied, “You are the most honest person I’ve ever known, Gilda.”

  “Is it natural for a kiss to have that power? I felt like I was losing myself.”

  “Yes, sometimes it is. Usually it’s not thought of as a problem. But I can understand how in this case you might see it as such.”

  “Of course it’s a problem. I’m a nun.”

  Ermguerrd nodded her head and smiled. “I know that.”

  Gilda was puzzled by her amusement. “I haven’t seen Lord Justin alone since the kiss. Can you find a reason to withdraw me from the assignment? I was goaded into accepting when he offered to make my excuse to the king.”

  “I’m not sure that’s the wisest plan . . .”

  Gilda jumped to her feet. “But Mother Ermguerrd . . . I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have interrupted.”

  Ermguerrd smiled. “Gilda, you’ve been with us since you were eight years old. You found a place for yourself quickly. I remember how upset you were when your father wanted you to marry. I supported you when your father wished you to marry when you turned twelve and again at fourteen. I know you enjoy the freedom you found here. But I think you have to experience a little more of the outside world before you make your final commitment to be a nun.”

  Disappointed, Gilda moved to look out the window into the courtyard. “I thought you were happy with my work here. I love teaching the children.”

  Ermguerrd came up behind her and put her hands on her shoulders to turn her around. “I’ve been most happy with your teaching. But you have other gifts as well. I think it’s too soon for you to make a decision. Many of the women who take holy orders have lived in the secular world. Some have even been married. From what you have told me, I believe you need more experience in order to know you are making the right choice.”

  Gilda pondered her words. It was common knowledge that Ermguerrd had been married and borne two children. When her husband and children died of a fever, she’d entered the convent. Gilda had heard that she had served happily for many years before being named abbess. She believed Ermguerrd was the wisest woman she’d ever known.

  “You look concerned, Gilda. What’s bothering you?”

  “It’s that kiss. Maybe if it happens again, I won’t have the same feelings. Maybe I was reacting to the christening. Do you think that’s possible?”

  Ermguerrd paused before replyi
ng, taking time to choose her words carefully. “I suspect it’s something you are destined to find out. I know you like to be in control, Gilda. But sometimes things happen that are beyond our control. I will send Freda along as your companion.”

  “Freda? Is she the best person to send?” Gilda was reluctant to point out that Sister Freda seemed rather old to be of much help.

  “Don’t be fooled by her age or fierce manner. Sister Freda is most rigorous, and I think you will find her a useful companion.”

  When Justin was called to rejoin the abbess and Gilda, he was startled to hear that Gilda would be accompanying him to Mainz. He tried to hide his surprise from the abbess, especially when he saw that her eyes were studying him in a new way. Before he could figure out what that meant, he was introduced to Sister Freda, a nun twice Gilda’s size and perhaps three times her age.

  “Sister Freda will accompany Gilda. As I’m sure you know, Lord Justin, nuns always travel in pairs to ensure their safety,” the abbess said.

  Justin suspected she was referring not only to assuring their physical safety but also to safeguarding their reputation. The deep lines on Sister Freda’s face attested to her age, but her posture was upright and her eyes penetrating. Justin judged she would be a reliable chaperone.

  Later, following Gilda along the garden path to the chapel for vespers, Justin finally had a chance to speak to her alone. “I thought you’d convince the abbess not to send you with me. I’m sure you tried. What did you tell her?” he asked, remembering how Abbess Ermguerrd studied him.

  “I told her about the kiss,” Gilda said, not bothering to lower her voice.

  His shock made her smile, but her expression quickly sobered when he grabbed her arm and pulled her into a small alcove in the garden. “Are you mad?” he asked, barely controlling his anger. “If you told her that, why is the abbess allowing you to go with me?”

  Shaking off his hand, Gilda replied, “She thinks I need more experience in the secular world before I take my final vows.”

  “And I’m the one who’s supposed to give you experience.”

  “Believe it or not, this has nothing to do with you. I told her about the kiss because I wanted her to know why I hesitated to accept the king’s assignment. That’s what we do here. We’re honest with each other.”

  He ignored the implication that it wasn’t true of his calling. “What kind of nun are you? You should be saying prayers and helping the poor. Instead you’re at court, dressed in a low-cut gown. Or getting involved in arguing the very personal details of a marriage dispute before the bishop.” He kept his voice low but didn’t try to hide his anger.

  When Justin saw that Gilda was staring at him, her mouth hanging open, he couldn’t believe his own lack of control. He was a diplomat with a reputation for keeping his temper and being careful with his words. It was not a good sign that Gilda was able to make him lose control. He pulled her down to sit beside him on a bench.

  “You caught me off guard,” he said, as calmly as he could manage. “I can’t believe you told the abbess I kissed you. You told her that, and she’s still letting you go with me?”

  “Yes. You don’t have to worry about your reputation. I explained that the kiss was my fault.”

  He watched her face flush to a becoming shade of pink. “It was your fault? What makes you think that?” he asked.

  “You knew I was curious. Otherwise it wouldn’t have happened.”

  “I wouldn’t be too sure of that, Gilda. I have an urge to repeat the kiss so that you’d remember it more clearly. You better think about that. Then persuade the abbess to send someone else. Otherwise you are taking a chance that I might lose control of myself.”

  He narrowed his eyes and tried his best to intimidate her with his frown, but she only shrugged her shoulders and said, “You’re making that up to frighten me off.”

  “No, I’m not. You should be frightened. Right now, there are nuns everywhere.” He looked around. “And we are just outside the chapel. That won’t be the case on the road to Mainz.”

  “Sister Freda will be along,” she answered, but he suspected she was beginning to lose her confidence.

  Before Justin could reply, Freda appeared before them. Gilda grinned, clearly satisfied that her sudden appearance was a sign of her vigilance. But Freda’s words made it clear she wasn’t searching for them to protect Gilda. “Lady Mariel has disappeared. There was much chatter about the arrival of Lord Justin. One of the sisters thinks that Mariel may be frightened, perhaps believing he has come to carry her back to her husband.”

  Already on his feet, Justin addressed Freda. “Do you have any idea where she could have gone?”

  “Ermguerrd thought Gilda might know.”

  “I doubt Mariel has explored much of the convent on her own,” Gilda said. “But I took her to the herb garden just yesterday. She seemed interested in the place. Asked a lot of questions.” She turned to Justin. “There is a small shed where we hang herbs to dry. I’ll see if she’s there.”

  “I’ll go with you,” Justin said. “Sister Freda, why don’t you tell the abbess where we’re headed.”

  Gilda shook her head. “Perhaps I should go on my own. Mariel might be afraid if she sees you, Justin.”

  “I know enough to stay back until you’ve talked to her. If she’s as desperate as she seems, it’s best that we put her at ease. The sooner we do that, the sooner we can leave for Mainz. We need to interview her to learn why she refuses to return to her husband. I’m sure you are as eager as I am to complete this assignment.”

  Gilda didn’t argue with that and agreed to his company. The herb garden was located at the edge of the convent’s property, and it was getting dark by the time they approached the shed. They had traveled by foot so as not to alarm Mariel. Gilda was relieved to see a light in the building.

  “It must be Mariel. All the nuns and visitors are at chapel. You stay here until I signal you to come,” Gilda told Justin.

  But as Gilda approached the shed, she felt uneasy. Mariel had asked her whether there were any poisons in the many jars stored in the shed. Although Gilda had been reluctant to give detailed information, she had warned her about certain herbs. She pushed the door open and her heart stopped. Mariel was stretched out on a pallet surrounded by candles. Gilda quickly knelt beside the young woman and was relieved to discover she was breathing. Gently she shook Mariel’s shoulder, but although her eyes opened for a second, they quickly closed again. Gilda picked up a container resting beside the sleeping woman.

  “Justin!” Gilda called out without rising from her knees. Again, Mariel’s eyes opened, and this time she moved restlessly for a few seconds, then she was quiet again.

  Justin found Gilda beside a young woman he assumed was Mariel. “What happened?” he asked as he dropped down beside her and felt for the woman’s pulse on her wrist.

  “She seems to have taken a sleeping potion. It’s nothing that will harm her, but she’ll probably sleep through the night. Even when she tries to awaken, she is unable to do so. She should be all right in the morning.”

  “Her pulse is slow. Are you sure there isn’t something we should do?”

  “It’s probably best to let her rest. I doubt she meant to do herself harm.”

  “Then why would she take the potion?”

  “Mariel asked me a lot of questions when we were here the other day. I was a little suspicious at the time, so I didn’t give her much information. It’s a little unusual for someone to inquire about poisons. I had come to fetch a preparation for Sister Georgette, who has trouble sleeping. Mariel must have observed which container I took it from. I found it here beside her.”

  “If she was afraid that I’d come to abduct her, why would she risk going to sleep? It doesn’t make sense. What good would that do?”

  “I don’t know. It’s only an assumption by one of the sisters that it’s you she is afraid of. Perhaps she just wanted a good night’s sleep. I’ll try to find out more in the
morning. Until then, I’ll stay here with her. I think it’s best not to move her until she is fully awake. You should go back. Inform the abbess that we found Mariel.”

  “I’ll do that.” Justin was almost through the door when he added, “I’ll bring you something to eat when I return.”

  “That’s not necessary,” Gilda said, but he didn’t bother to answer her. Before she could suggest that he send Sister Freda back instead of returning himself, he was gone.

  An hour later Gilda’s stomach was groaning. She wondered if Justin had taken her at her word not to bring her something to eat. She cursed herself for saying such a thing, and him for taking her literally. Gilda had a healthy appetite, and religious fasts had always been a problem for her. She surveyed the pots of herbs on a shelf near the window and gathered a few mint leaves to chew on, but they only increased her hunger.

  Returning to sit beside Mariel, she studied the young woman. Even under Mariel’s heavy gown, Gilda could see that her limbs were shapely. Her fair face, delicately formed with well-proportioned features, made her a most becoming woman.

  When Gilda heard some rustling outside the shed, she ran to the door and flung it open. “Get back inside,” Justin whispered in an urgent tone of voice.

  She quickly closed the door, before asking, “Did you bring some food?”

  “Here.” He practically tossed her the bread. “Blow out all but one candle,” he said as he peered out the small window.

  “Whatever for? We’re out in the woods.” Then she realized from his expression that something was wrong and did as he requested. “What happened?”

  “I discovered that two of Cedric’s men had arrived at the convent while we were talking with the abbess. One of the nuns, when she learned that Lady Mariel was missing, told me she had seen Lady Mariel speaking to the men. We assumed she was frightened of me, but maybe it was the new arrivals she feared. I don’t think we should take any chances. Mariel believes her husband wishes her harm. No doubt it’s his men she is fleeing from.”