Uendeligt: An Infinitely Forever Novel

by S King

  I froze on the question. Did I love Demir on my own conviction or was it thanks to the scientists? Was this entire situation thanks to a plan from a higher power? Someone or something stronger than anyone on the face of this green earth? I didn’t know. But what I did know, the pain of watching him be intimate with someone else was something I couldn’t put into words.

  I couldn’t describe to anyone how suffocating the usually lively nightclub felt more like a prison in that moment. So, did I love Demir because he was the only person to match me in mentality and status? Or did I love him because of some deeper connection even the scientists couldn’t have formed?

  “If you had to choose between Shang and this man, who would you pick?” She asked, sliding the finished biscuits into the oven.

  “The other.” I answered too quickly. But in my haste of answering the question Fefe had thrown my way, I found my answer.

  Smiling at her, I pulled her smaller body to me and thanked her.

  “Follow your heart and the rest will follow, deary,” she patted my back in that motherly way she did before pulling back.

  I was about to thank her again when the house shook from the aftershocks of an explosion I was too familiar with.

  “Heavens!” Fefe grabbed the counter and looked around the kitchen as if the rumble and shake were from her second home.

  Shaking my head, I held out my hand to her, “it’s fine. I know what’s going on,” I tossed over my shoulder as I raced through the kitchen and out the backdoor.

  “…bring it on bitch boy!” Karina’s fiery temper was igniting the late afternoon into something of an inferno.

  “Who are you calling a bitch?” Shang was just as livid as my sister.

  “You!” She snapped, turning over a Russian Heart bomb in her hand.

  I covered my mouth, watching as Shang cracked his neck and stared at my sister. Her burgundy hair blew back from her face, showing off her anger. Like me she had changed.

  Karina had always been curvy with muscle being the reason. But during these past few months she had become more curvaceous. If I didn’t know any better, I’d have sworn she was trying a new diet or…I let the thought trail off as I tuned back into the conversation the two were having.

  “Come at me then,” Shang ordered and spread his arms wide. There was no weapon in sight or even an indication he was going to hit her with a surprise attack.

  I had no idea what Shang’s talent was or what his weapon of choice was, but I wasn’t putting my money on that either were rainbows and hugs. Looking at Karina, I smirked and mentally wagered a bet between the two.

  If Karina used her infamous spiked skull, she’d get Shang into a submission pose before he could comprehend what was happening. If she opted for her Russian Heart bomb? Well it was all over for anyone within a ten mile radius—depending on the amount of chemicals she forced into the heart container.

  Deciding I didn’t want to die today, I stalled the bet in my mind and stepped out from behind Shang to tilt my head at my best friend.

  “Now, you know, and I know, if you throw that thing all of us are going to go. Right?”

  It took her a moment to snap out of her haze of rage and recognize me. Naturally, Karina had probably assumed I was dead from Demir’s attack last year and was seeking anyone with information on where my body was.

  “Oh my god!” She screamed throwing the Russian Heart in the air before bulldozing me.

  As I grabbed her to me in a bear hug, the Russian Heart exploded, shaking the world around us.

  “Are you fucking crazy!” Shang protected Fefe from catching any of the red tear drop embers. God knows the fly away remains of the bomb were just as dangerous as the bomb itself.

  Spinning on my sister Shang stabbed a finger at me. “Do you know who this psychotic bi—”

  “Watch it!” Both me and Karina warned, letting go of each other long enough to glare at him. We may have been a pair of bitches, but no man—Demir, Dristan, Shang or otherwise would ever get away with calling us such names.

  Shang rolled his eyes, pushing the warning aside, “what the hell is going on?”

  “She’s my sister. Who the hell are you?” Karina growled, pulling out another bomb. Leave it to her to have a full arsenal when she didn’t need one.

  Holding out my hand to her I shook my head at Shang. “What’re you doing here?” I asked Karina.

  “Sightseeing and what not.” She made a face at me. “Saving you bitch why the hell else would I be here?”

  “Ok, better question, how did you know I was here? Was it Demir?”

  She snorted and tucked the bomb back in her pack. Opening her mouth to tell me how she had found me, she paused and frowned at me, “wait, Demir was here?”

  “More or less,”

  She narrowed her eyes at me, “nuh uh.”

  “Yep.”

  “Really?”

  “That’s what I said!”

  “Did he…”

  I rolled my eyes, crossing my arms over my chest, “irrelevant.”

  “The fuck out of here! In the woods?”

  “I would rather die.”

  She made a face, twisting her mouth to the side. “I can’t say I blame you though.”

  “That’s generous. What’d I miss?”

  “Don’t get me started.” Glancing at Shang, she lowered her voice. “Care to explain?”

  I opened my mouth but quickly snapped it shut. There was a time and place for everything. Right now, however, I just wanted to get my things and leave. As long as I had Karina by my side, I’d worry about the repercussions of returning to Castlehedge and dodging the courts later.

  We were one in the same, my sister and I. When our backs were against the wall, we fought like hell to get out of the most dangerous situation. At least, enough to find somewhere reasonably safe to formulate a plan of attack. Now was no different.

  Turning to Fefe and Shang I sighed, “thank you for everything. But I have to go.”

  An understanding look passed over Fefe’s face as she stepped around Shang and came to stand in front of me.

  “You’re always welcomed here. No matter the time or the state you’re in. Come back whenever, ok?”

  I nodded and hugged her quickly, “thank you.”

  “Be safe, ok?”

  “You as well.” Pulling away from her, I smiled, “I’ve just got to get my things.”

  “Of course, make sure to take the clothes too. I can’t fit them, and we bought those for you.” she nodded and looked at Karina, “are you hungry, deary?”

  “As long as it’s not poisoned,” my best friend quipped following my care taker into the house.

  With a relieved breath leaving me, I nodded once to Shang. Thankfully, I wasn’t going to have to figure out how to convince him to let me stay and work with him. A plus in its own right, but if I were hellbent on being honest with myself, I knew to the core of my heart. It was time to go home.

  While Karina found herself stuffed to the brim with homemade food, I wondered what my next move would be. Pushing my way into the bedroom I had called my home for the last few months, I looked around the room. Shang and Fefe had provided me the luxury of some place to rest and recover when I wasn’t within my right mind. Now, I was saying goodbye to probably the only place where I could feel safe enough to not have nightmares about the things I had done.

  Taking a deep breath, I went to the closet and found a brand new black messenger bag that would hold all of the clothes Fefe, and Shang had gotten me. Like Shang’s own closet, mine was meticulously organized and arranged to the point I wouldn’t have any trouble finding outfits in a matter of seconds.

  Carefully, I grabbed the clothes from the hangers and the shelves. Deciding I’d worry about what I was going to do after Karina, and I reached a good enough stopping point.

  “I don’t want you to go,” I jumped at the sound of Shang’s voice and grabbed my chest.

  “What the hell?” I cut my eyes at hi
m and turned back to the closet.

  One thing I wouldn’t miss would be the way he was able to appear out of thin air without making so much as a sound. The man—as big and bulky as he was—walked like a ghost and could scare the life back into the dead if he tried hard enough.

  When my heart was somewhat back to a normal rhythm, I asked, “why not?”

  “Because I can’t protect you if I don’t know where you are.” He closed the door behind him and leaned against the barrier.

  I blew out a hard breath and rolled my eyes as I took the clothes from the hangers. “It’s not like I was ever welcomed here by you anyway.”

  Ignoring my snide comment, he said through gritted teeth, “Luminous, you can’t go back.”

  “Why?” I shoved the clothes in the bag harder than I intended and clenched my teeth. Here we go again with the riddles and the secrets, I thought to myself.

  “Because the courts are after you. That’s why,” he made the statement as if I didn’t know the truth already.

  I had seen the order. I knew the risks. But I was not going to stay here and risk Fefe’s…or his safety because I was being petty toward Demir. This was a battle I had grown used to fighting over the last year and I wasn’t about to add anybody else to my casualties list. Even if that someone was Shang.

  He didn’t deserve to die because I chose to hide behind him and the hidden sanctuary his home provided to me. With that in mind, I steeled my nerves and said as neutrally as possible.

  “I’ll take my chances.” Closing the bag, I slung the strap over my shoulder. Turning to him, I raised a brow at the door, “thanks for taking care of and saving me when you didn’t have to.”

  In a split second he crossed the floor and grabbed the back of my neck. Not painfully, but enough to know he could snap my neck in a second should I say the wrong thing to him.

  If I were being extra critical of the move, I’d have almost thought he was trying to establish his dominance with me. Trying to mentally tell me I was not going anywhere without him. Almost as if…

  “You’re not listening to me, Luminous. You cannot go back to Castlehedge.”

  “Why?” I shoved against his chest to let me go but the move did nothing. In truth, I hadn’t used the amount of force that was needed to get him off of me. But I wanted to keep my neck where it was and remain in one piece.

  A muscle in his jaw jumped as those black orbs bore into me. Something passed over his face like he wanted to tell me the answer I was missing. But like every other male I had encountered since this jolly train started, he didn’t give me the facts flat out.

  “Did Demir tell you why my guard is after you?”

  Not in so many words, I had wanted to say. Instead, I remained silent and just stared at him.

  Stepping closer to me, he lowered his voice to a breathy whisper as he said.

  “You would be wise to not trust the man who signed off on the order for your capture.”

  My heart stopped as his words hit home and I was forced to remember my encounter with the Gold Guard, cheating jackass. Sure, a part of me wanted to tell myself and Shang that I had known about the who behind the signature. I had even wanted to tell him Demir had a plan and things weren’t as they appeared. But I couldn’t do that. Could I?

  As if to drive the nail home, Shang tilted his head putting his lips just a breaths hair away from mine and looked in my eyes.

  “He’s a judge now, in case you haven’t figured it out, Luminous. He is the reason why you’re in the state you’re in.”

  I clenched my teeth knowing every word Shang spoke was the truth. Demir had gained from my loss. In my mind, I knew what the aftermath was after I had fallen from the cliff.

  Demir was praised and promoted in turn for fulfilling his contract. In turn, I took the most brutal punishment a survivor of my situation could receive. Forced to live a life on the run as well as watching from the shadows as the villain lived a life of rewards.

  “I know what I’m doing.” Was the only thing my mouth could form.

  A fox like smile covered his lips. Taking a step toward me, my back hit the wall as he inched closer. “You seem to think I’m one to play for the fool, Luminous River.”

  “I’ve gotta go,” pushing away from him I started for the bedroom door. Only to be jerked back against Shang’s chest with my mouth against his.

  The kiss was intoxicating at best and knee-knocking at worst. I didn’t want to. Had fought myself as much internally, but as Shang deepened the kiss and pressed me into the wall. I kissed him back.

  Maybe I did it because I hadn’t want to suffer the same fate as the one I had already lived through. Maybe I was trying to convince myself I had felt nothing for Demir or Shang and just needed to prove myself right. Whatever the reason was behind my body’s betrayal I knew one thing for certain. My life would never be the same after this kiss and I was the damn fool who thought otherwise.

  “Let me go,” I breathed against his lips. Using the pathetic excuse of muscle I had left, I shoved against his chest.

  This time he relented. Stepping aside, he didn’t say anything and simply stared at me. The attraction was there, the connection was raging. But I didn’t have time to develop any new feelings when the current state was so upside down. To admit I wanted to see where things would go with Shang would add too many more insults to an already overwhelming plethora of injuries I had.

  What the hell was I doing, I mentally snapped at myself. I shouldn’t be here damn near falling apart at the seams over a man who probably really wouldn’t think twice about killing me. It was time to leave before I got anymore psychotic ideas about a future that looked as bleak as a swamp.

  Shouldering the bag, I didn’t look back at him as I made my way back to the dining room. Putting on a fake smile, I looked at Karina who was busy filling up what had to be her fourth plate.

  “Lum, if this is how you’ve been eating, I wouldn’t come back either.” She said around a mouth full of biscuits.

  The woman could eat like there was no tomorrow and each meal was going to be her last. Honestly, I couldn’t blame her and didn’t bother belittling her for taking more than she could give. I wasn’t going to eat and Fefe had a talent for making too much food to begin with. At the thought of the grandmother like woman, I turned to her.

  Hugging Fefe for the last time, I tried to think of the words to tell her. To show her my appreciation but as the time came, I couldn’t utter a word. I didn’t want to leave Fefe behind if I could avoid it, but I knew staying wouldn’t be a wise idea either.

  “You have everything?” She whispered.

  Nodding, I tried to muster the strength to give her a proper goodbye. “Thank you, for everything.”

  Patting my back, the way any grandmother would, she gave me a hard squeeze, “come back whenever you need to get away, Ok?”

  “I’ll remember that,” I opened my eyes, looking over Fefe’s shoulder and settled my sights on Shang. He was leaning against the door staring at me in the only way he could. Brooding, cold, heartlessly.

  “Keep well Luminous River,” Fefe pulled away from me and smiled gently as her hand, touched my face. “Don’t let the guard destroy you like they’ve done to others.”

  A warning. No matter how veiled and unforgiving it was, Fefe was telling me the same thing as Judge Holt and Sooter.

  Clutching her hands to mine, I searched her eyes. “what do you know?”

  For a tense moment, the world froze around us while she looked at me. When I had thought she was going to say something. All of my hopes were dashed when Fefe’s eyes travelled around the room. Only to land on Shang.

  She blew out a frustrated breath and frowned. Focusing those gentle eyes on me again, she sighed.

  “I cannot tell you the answer to your question, deary. What I can tell you is simple. Watch your back and guard your heart.” Quickly, she kissed my forehead.

  As if the world had really frozen during the time she was talking, Karin
a had been consumed in her own bliss. When Fefe had stepped away from me, Karina had acted as if I had just stepped into the room.

  “Hey Lum,” she wiped her mouth and kicked out of the chair. “Ready?”

  Narrowing my eyes on Fefe, my brow quirked up. Naturally, my care taker simply winked at me before handing Karina an insulated bag.

  “There’s plenty for the both of you,” hugging me a final time. She pushed past Shang and disappeared down the hall.

  “Thanks again, take care of her, please,” I said looking at the man who had—no, no, no. I was not going down that damn road and hell, I had known as soon as I saw Karina about to throw that Russian Heart, she had a million and one questions at the ready for me.

  I knew the trip to wherever we were going was going to be filled with complicated explanations, smartass questions and probably some underhanded comments thrown in for good measure.

  Without giving Shang a chance to respond, I grabbed Karina’s arm and hightailed our asses out of the house and back to Castlehedge.

  §§§§§

  “So tell me the truth,” Karina’s storm blue eyes glittered of excitement as we sat in the middle of the motel bed picking apart the platters of food.

  Thanks to our quick wit—or just psychotic thought process, we had stopped halfway between Springcrest and Castlehedge. Settling on a shoddy motel in the middle of nowhere with low security around the building and a countless number of exits. Ya know, for the just in case Shang decided to come looking for me and hand me over to the BC.

  Raising a brow at her, I grabbed a bag of chips and busted the thing open.

  “You slept with him, didn’t you?”

  “Who?” There were two hims she could’ve been talking about. One of which was a prominent judge for the very courts who wanted me for their own sick games. The other an anomaly within and of himself.

  “Shang.”

  “No!” I balked at her and frowned, “why would you think that?”

  “Bitch have you seen that man?” She gave me an incredulous look as if she couldn’t fathom where I had lost my damn mind.

  “Yes and his personality doesn’t match his looks,” I grabbed a French fry and shook my head. “What you see on the outside is nothing like the inside.”