Phoenix of Hope: Complete Series — Books 1-4

by Zora Marie

  “Fine.” She pulled her hand from Loboran’s grasp and went to where Raven’s head was nuzzled against Grono’s neck. “I’ll be right back.” She poured her emotions down their bond as she hugged Raven’s neck. She poured her love, longing, and fear of losing her down the bond, in hopes that maybe it would help convince Raven to fight to stay. She had to fight. Zelia didn’t know what she’d do without her.

  A hand rested on her shoulder, and Linithion whispered, “She’ll still be here after breakfast. She’s not alone. Grono and Orvi are not going anywhere.”

  Zelia let Linithion pull her away from Raven and lead her back through the tents that lined the path to the house. Everyone glanced up from quietly filling their plates as Zelia and Linithion sat, Loboran and Starling pulling chairs up to the overcrowded table for themselves. Skylar reached across Alrindel to slide plates in front of them, plates that were already full of fruits, nuts, and bread.

  “Thanks.” Zelia made herself meet Skylar’s gaze and noticed the distant look in Alrindel’s eyes when she did. She had been close to Koin, but Alrindel had spent the last few centuries serving as Koin’s second. Yet Koin had sacrificed himself for Alrindel, as Raven had for her. She understood the guilt and grief that threatened to crush her brother. She squeezed his hand and he broke his distant look just long enough to give her a hint of a sad, appreciative smile. She only wished there were more she could do for him.

  Eadon and Eleanor weren’t there, neither was Lighnif, but her friends were there. Jones sat between Donequen and Lucky, as though trying to keep the peace between the two. Then there was Nikolas sitting between Lucky and Skylar, watching her. He didn’t seem so out of place between the two other descendants of gods as he had in days past.

  “How’s Raven?” Nikolas asked, though she could tell by the way he squinted at her he really wanted to give her crap about how she had used her power the day before. She doubted he’d soon let that go.

  “Alive.” Zelia picked at her food and forced herself to eat a little.

  “How are things going with the refugees?” Linithion asked.

  “Slow.” Skylar said. “Those who understand us are thankful. A few of them have gifts like Eleanor’s and they’ve been trying to help with the others, at least for as long as they can stay on their feet. I sent word to those who remain in the Kingdom of the Mountains to send aid, but…” he grimaced.

  “You’ll need to go soon.”

  Skylar nodded. “My rule there is tenuous at best. It will be better when those you all saved are able to make the journey home. I did get word that our diversion worked, and your warning and plea for everyone to train saved a lot of lives.”

  Zelia glanced at Donequen, there was distant worry in his gaze. Worry, not grief. His friend and mentor was still alive then. Guilt ate at her for not thinking to ask sooner. “How’s Tregar?”

  “Barg and I made him go home last night, so Yalif can take care of him.”

  “Tregar shielded us when the Fenari started drawing from everyone to attack you.” Skylar’s gaze was distant and laden with guilt and regret.

  “He’ll live, but…” Donequen trailed off.

  “He used some of his life energy to shield them, didn’t he?” Linithion asked.

  Donequen nodded. “He won’t live as long now. Who knows how many decades he gave up.” Donequen looked at Zelia then, and she struggled not to shrink away from the searing weight and accusation in his gaze. “You did the same thing when you didn’t stop. If you weren’t,” he paused to swallow some emotion, “you, I’d be questioning the same thing about you, too.”

  All of them looked at her then, all her friends and family. She had caused this worry and pain, this fear of losing her. Fregnar had made it sound like she wouldn’t have come back this time, and were it not for Linithion she would rather he had left her dead. Especially if Raven didn’t survive. They stared at her and she pushed back the urge to run away, because she couldn’t run from this, run from them.

  “You decided you were disposable, again, like Koin did,” Alrindel said, his voice raw as though he’d been crying for days.

  “No. Koin didn’t save you because he was disposable. He did that because he loved you. You can’t blame him or yourself for him loving you. And I… I just got lost in the power and the need to protect all of you. I didn’t mean to try and throw my life away. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I made you feel that way. I’m sorry I almost—” her voice broke and she shook her head. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save Koin, and all the others.”

  “Zelia.” Linithion squeezed her hand. “Even you can’t save everyone. You did everything you could, more than you should have.”

  “Linithion’s right,” Nikolas said. “Even Fregnar, who has been a god for eons cannot save everyone. Even he needed your help, our help. Besides, if anyone’s to blame for this, it’s him. This was his halfcocked plan to wipe the Fenari out, not yours.”

  “Plus, had we not attacked them when we did, who knows who else they would have taken. They were preparing to attack someone, that’s why the fight went the way it did,” Starling said.

  Zelia made herself nod and debated whether or not to leave. The room felt too small and the weight of worry too heavy. Zelia’s head snapped up. Raven’s consciousness flickered on the other end of her bond. Grono and Orvi must have sensed it too, as Linithion and Donequen stared at her with a hint of relief in their gazes.

  “Come on.” Donequen and Linithion stood before Zelia could and practically dragged her from the table. Donequen paused at the threshold. “Would one of you find Eadon? Raven’s waking up.”

  35

  Grono was right where they’d left him before breakfast, but Orvi had moved to nuzzle Raven’s head. “I felt you stir. Come on, you need to eat.”

  Zelia glanced down at the pile of fish in front of Raven, and then to Elm and Evergreen. The twins nodded, silently confirming that they’d been fishing for all of them. She’d have to remember to thank them later, but for now she needed to get Raven to wake up. She ran her hand over Raven’s head as she pulled their bond to the forefront of her mind. She did her best to ignore the pain that still lanced down the length of Raven’s side.

  “Raven?” Zelia spoke down the bond, into Raven’s mind. It was still quiet at the other end of the tether, but Raven’s presence was warmer, as though she were closer. “Please wake up. Please. I need you. I love you. I know you’re in pain, but I need you to eat. You lost a lot of blood and… Please, I can’t lose you, too.”

  Tears burned her eyes and she rested her forehead against Raven’s smooth scales. Her hair hid her face as tears won their battle to escape. “Please. Just wake up.” Zelia didn’t care who heard her whispered plea. She needed Raven to wake up. She just needed her.

  Raven groaned softly, then drew and blew out a long breath. “Zelia?”

  “I’m here. Try not to move much.”

  “You’ve had us rather concerned, Raven,” Grono grumbled.

  Raven blew out another long breath and her presence shot to Zelia’s end of their bond, her own concern flooding the path between them. Zelia let her in, let her see that she was alright. “I’m fine, thanks to you and Linithion… and the others. Do you— Are you hungry? Elm and Evergreen brought you fish.”

  “You need to eat.” Orvi purred as she nuzzled Raven’s head.

  Raven’s presence shrunk back to her end of the bond. “Grono…”

  “Hm. So needy.” Grono leaned into her, helping her roll into a position she’d be able to eat in.

  Zelia felt the pain lance down Raven’s side as her head rolled away, Raven hissing softly the entire way. It was a moment after she stopped moving before she sucked in a breath. “Thank you.”

  “Mm hm. Next time thank me by not almost getting gutted.”

  Raven let out a slight huff of amusement, her fangs showing as she cringed at the movement. “I didn’t exactly choose for it to happen.” Finally Raven opened her eyes and blinked at the bright light
of midmorning. “How long have I been out?”

  “Since yesterday. I was beginning to question if you were going to wake up after all that blood loss.”

  “Let me have a look at your side before you move anymore, Raven.” Eadon went to the other side of Raven’s body.

  “Would you tell him I say thank you, please?”

  “Of course.” Zelia went around to Raven’s other side and watched Eadon run his hand down Raven’s side, just above the stitches that held the massive wound closed.

  “If you need someone to wash it out again, I can do it,” Donequen said.

  “Thank you, Donequen. Just the surface. We don’t want to risk causing her to start bleeding again.”

  “Understood.” Water gathered above Donequen’s hand. His powers drew it from thin air as hers had the day before. He ran the glob of water down Raven’s side, pausing every foot or so to wring the blood and other partials from the water before continuing.

  It was still strange to Zelia to think that she now had control of water and air. Part of her wanted to play and practice with it, but she knew she needed to wait. She had regained a bit of her power, she could feel it down in the bottom of that invisible well within her, but it was nowhere near where it usually was. Time, she needed to give herself time first.

  “Raven says thank you.”

  “You’re welcome, Raven.” Eadon laid his hand against the side of Raven’s neck. “Try not to move much for the next few days. I wouldn’t want you to tear out the stitches.”

  “I’ll try not to. Am I free to eat that pile of fish now?”

  Zelia couldn’t help but smile as Orvi nudged the pile of fish closer to Raven, until it was right beside her head. Then Orvi toasted it with her fire, burning the scales until they’d just barely turned black.

  “She says she’ll try not to and wants to know if she’s free to eat now.”

  “Yes, you may. How should we bring you water?”

  Zelia cringed as Raven raised her head just enough to scoop up a mouthful of the fish and swallow it. How Raven herself didn’t cringe at the pain, Zelia didn’t know.

  “Thank you, Orvi. You, too, Elm and Evergreen. As for water, a big bucket or… Donequen can do whatever he’s doing with water would be fine.”

  “A bucket or Donequen could hand water her.”

  “Hm. Did I just volunteer myself to take care of Raven?”

  “Well, I would—”

  “No. You need to give yourself another day or two before you do any magic. I’ll make sure Raven gets enough water.”

  “Thank you.”

  “You’d do the same for me and Grono, for any of us.” Donequen returned to cleaning Raven’s side as Raven ate a few more fish.

  “Good. I should get back to the others.” Eadon lingered, as though he debated staying with them, but he left. He was needed elsewhere.

  She’d have to track him down later and make sure he’d slept some, too. For now, she was content to stay near Raven.

  “As much as I’d love for you all to languish here with me all day, please go see if you can help. I’m sure Grono and Orvi will keep an eye on me all day.”

  Orvi nudged Zelia towards Linithion. “Go on. Linithion is itching to help someone— everyone.”

  “Alright. But let me know if you need anything.”

  “We will,” Orvi said before Raven could respond.

  “See. Taken care of.”

  Linithion’s arm snaked around Zelia’s waist. “Are they ganging up on you again?”

  “Yes. Shall we go see if there’s anything we can help with?”

  “Only if you go back and finish your breakfast.”

  Zelia heaved a sigh. “Fine.”

  36

  Beings of all shapes and sizes continued to show up throughout the day. Language and culture differences made soothing the terrified beings an insurmountable feat. Somehow Linithion did it with ease. A pair of tiny green and silver skinned children clung to her as she worked to communicate with old beings like them. They spoke with chirps and clicking noises that Zelia failed to understand. By the time dinner came, Zelia was glad to hand the task over to the Elves who would work through the night. She hated that she couldn’t do more, but she was only one person.

  As they all finished dinner, Eleanor asked, “Zelia may I have a word with you?”

  “Of course.” Zelia searched Eleanor’s face for a clue to what she wanted, but she gave nothing away. Despite herself, wariness crept up on her.

  Eleanor led Zelia to her study and shut the door behind them. “I feel like I hardly get to see you anymore.” Eleanor gestured for her to sit.

  “We’ve all been a bit busy.”

  “It’s not just that and you know it.” There was such regret in Eleanor’s gaze, that Zelia had to repress the urge to fidget at the thought of how Eleanor had ripped through her memories. Her mind hadn’t truly felt her own since. “What I did to you was wrong. I was so desperate to help you that I hurt you instead. I do not want that between us in this last year we have together.”

  “So, you are leaving us?”

  Eleanor nodded. “Eadon is hoping to hold on long enough to see you and Linithion marry, but his time is nearing. I would have waited to tell you, but Alrindel mentioned that Koin already told you.”

  Zelia swallowed. I didn’t forgive Vainoff before it was too late. What Eleanor had done to her was wrong, but— “I forgive you for that and any other part of my past that you feel any guilt about. I know you were just trying to help, trying to keep me from completely breaking.” A tear rolled down Zelia’s cheek and Eleanor reached to wipe it away, but paused as though fearing the thought of feeling her pain. “I’m not in pain like I was, remember?”

  Eleanor let out a small sigh of relief as her thumb brushed the tear from Zelia’s cheek. “What still troubles you?”

  “I just never gave Vainoff the forgiveness he sought and—”

  “It is never too late to give forgiveness. Even if you can no longer give it to his living soul, his soul is still out there listening. Besides, forgiveness is healing for both the giver and the receiver, so it is never too late to give.”

  Zelia nodded. She knew Eleanor was right, but tears still streamed down her cheeks because she didn’t want to lose her and Eadon. It seemed everyone she loved was doomed to leave her. She shuddered as Eleanor pulled her into a hug. Sometimes she felt that staying locked in that cave might have been easier than facing the fresh pain of loss, but there had been love, too, and that was what she needed to focus on.

  “We are not leaving you yet. Besides, we owe you and Linithion for pushing us to accept the love we feel for one another.”

  The door to the hall opened and Eadon slipped in. He quietly hugged the two of them as though called to do so. “We love you and Alrindel so very much, you know that, right?”

  Zelia leaned into Eadon and Eleanor’s embrace, memorizing what it felt like to have them both hug her. If she had to lose them, she wanted as many good memories to cling to as she could get. They stood like that for some time before Eadon kissed the top of her head and whispered, “You should go get some rest. Linithion is waiting for you.”

  Linithion stood on the little balcony, her arms crossed in front of her as she leaned on the vine railing. Her head was tilted back as she stared at the treetops and stars beyond. It might have seemed peaceful, had she not been able to hear the faint moans of the injured and those mourning lost kin. They’d lost many, but they’d saved more.

  She wrapped her arms around her soulmate’s waist. Linithion’s fingers were cool, kissed by the night air, as their fingers intertwined.

  “What did Eleanor want?”

  “To ask for forgiveness.”

  “Awe. Did you…”

  “Yes. I don’t want to have any more regrets.” Linithion leaned back against Zelia’s chest and she held her a little tighter. “I love you.”

  “I love you, too, and I’m glad you feel able to say it so freely n
ow.”

  “I never want to look back and wish I had told you more.”

  “Hopefully it will be a very long time before you have to face thoughts like that, about me at least.”

  “Did Eleanor…”

  “Yes. She told me telepathically right before you came in. At least now I know what our future will look like for the next year.”

  “We don’t have to stay here if you don’t want to.”

  “No. I want you to have this last bit of time with them. I want to have it, too. With Father gone, Eleanor is the last of my kin by blood.”

  “Yet she’s not the last of your kin, because our kin are whoever we make them. Whoever we love and care about.”

  “Hm. Well you’re being rather sappy this evening.” Linithion turned, wrapped her arms around Zelia’s neck and just gazed into her eyes. “We should go to bed.”

  “Yeah.” The Fenari might be gone, but they still had a ton to do. She doubted anyone would get much rest in the months to come. She pressed a kiss to Linithion’s forehead, then led her back into their room for the night.

  37

  The next morning, Zelia went in search of Eleanor. She knew from the buzz of activity to move tents from the field that they would be preparing to cremate those who had fallen, to release their souls. It surprised her that they hadn’t done it sooner, but she was glad they had waited as her inner well of magic had returned enough that she could do this last thing to honor them.

  “Yes?” Eleanor asked with barely a glance up from the little note she was reading.

  “We’re releasing souls today?”

  “We are.” Eleanor set the note to the side and looked Zelia over from head to toe. “I take it you’re here because you want to do the honor, as you did in the Drakeon Empire.”

  “I do. It will save us from having to harm the trees for wood that we really need for building. And I…” Zelia trailed off as her eyes stung with the coming of tears.