America Finding Her Way

by Karen Sunde

You'll stay?

  Damon: (Stares at Dave. Physically, it's no contest, but– ) Shiii-it.

  Dave: Anyway, Beth's got your piece. (To break tension, picks up guitar)

  Damon: Shit-faced. Trusting violence to women. Number one mistake.

  (Above, Jack approaches Beth – she turns to face him, but…stand-off)

  Dave: (Begins playing "Mr Tambourine Man") Yeah?

  Damon: You really with these guys? You got more sense.

  Dave: About women?

  Damon: They got no touch for it. But they pretend they've got this mystic power with life and death.

  (Above, Jack and Beth apart, still looking at each other)

  Jack: I am so sorry, Beth. About everything. I’ve...

  Beth: (Pause) They were right; we were too close. Without you I woke feeling the danger, then strength, seeping up from roots I'd forgotten. Now my body vibrates in clear air. I'm alive.

  Jack: (Beat) I'm glad.

  Beth: You?

  Jack: Nothing so dramatic. Only loss.

  Beth: You wanted the split.

  Jack: Some freedom, I suppose, from...expectations.

  Beth: Nothing you need?

  Jack: No.

  Beth: Then you were whole before.

  Jack: And you...?

  Beth: Just part of you.

  (Jack puts his hand out; she moves slowly to him – a passionate embrace, desperately needing each other and sleep. Below, Dave softly strums. Damon stretched out, his eyes closed)

  Damon: They’re hanging by a thread, like one fraying fiber over a flame.

  Dave: While angels weep? Cause their tragedy is they can’t mend the evil, but they have to try.

  Jack: Why am I still here?! Ned was trapped in the hell of ‘Nam; now he’s the one in jail?!

  Dave: While America’s tragedy is…she’ll lose her brightest, the ones who love her most.

  Beth: It’s not your fault.

  Jack: I’m the one that should go for a soldier – everything in me screams “I’m the man.” But if my country’s wrong, what am I supposed to do?!

  Beth: Saying “no” is a choice, Jack.

  Jack: It’s like I’m never “it;” it’s not my time, nothing’s in my hands.

  (A glow above in the dressing room; and Suzy's voice draws Beth)

  Suzy: Beth... Beth?

  (Suzy hums "Jesus Loves The Little Children" while Beth speaks as she rises, climbs stairs)

  Beth: Did I tell you when Maya's mother got flour? There'd been none for five months. Then her husband's nephew brought a whole sackful of wheat. He was sweating. They let him hide in their root cellar, but they knew he’d come from the rebels.

  Suzy: (Calling) I’d never have done it without you. I was scared stiff!

  Beth: (Overlaps, not hearing Suzy) She tore open the sack before the cellar door was bolted, and started to mix the dough. It had risen once when the soldiers came. She punched it down as they strode to the field.

  Suzy: I couldn't even eat! Not from excitement, from terror.

  Beth: When they dragged Maya's father into their jeep her mother didn't stop kneading, so her fingers were raw. I saw streaks of blood in the dough. It wasn't till after the loaves were devoured that Maya took my hand and said "Going to Father now." And we walked down the road to a pit beside a woods.

  Suzy: (Excited) How can you promise for a whole life? I don't know how I'll feel next month! But I came down the aisle, looked straight into that monkey grin of yours... I swear, Beth, it was like when you yelled "Scaredy-Cat!" at Gooseberry Falls before I jumped into the bottomless pit. So I had to do it. To show you. What are you crying about?

  Beth: (Reaching the top) So how's it feel? You can't touch bottom. Can you float?

  Suzy: Yup.

  Beth: (Stuffing her things into the paper bag) But you've run out on him already.

  Suzy: I'll see him every breakfast, Dumbo. When am I gonna see you?

  Beth: I don't know. Things are changing.

  Suzy: You said on the phone you might be quitting...your group.

  Beth: Gonna have Dan River gingham in your kitchen?

  Suzy: Jeff doesn't like pink.

  Beth: (Holding her) Suzy, will the family...stand by me no matter what?

  Suzy: (Hugs her) We love you, Beth. Talk to Daddy. Please.

  Beth: Suz, he doesn't…

  Suzy: He says you always had great arguments, the two of you.

  Beth: It hurts too much now. But I remember his “Do what you must, but be sure of what you do.”

  Suzy: I think he's changed his mind about the war, Beth.

  Beth: (Stares at her) And Maya? What does he think about Guatemala? (Starting down) Oh, Daddy, forgive me that I can't explain. You're the hero who fought so you could hoist me on your shoulders, but from this height I see what you cannot. That all you won has spoiled.

  (Below, cry from Damon, in nightmare; Dave watching him)

  Damon: No! Oh God...

  Dave: (Hand on Damon) You’re all right now. It’s all right.

  (Damon wakes startled, cold-bath alert, jerks away from Dave, unsure where he is)

  Dave: (Testing) I was thinking…you're not from Chicago.

  Damon: (Realizing where he is) What do you know?

  Dave: My wagon... You said you...

  Damon: Bashed in side, ‘68 stickers...

  Dave: (Remembering) Columbia! English Lit.

  Damon: Never did figure you for a doctor.

  Dave: Back row. You had a literary scholarship. Wow.

  Damon: "Promising." But impractical. Law's more to the point. “Your Honor,” Freddy called me. (Remembering Fred, twists away with a half-sob)

  Dave: You still there in ‘68?

  Damon: (Lying there, drained by grief) Left before the Blacks split from you. Pure farce, that scene. Perched on Olympus, endless rap: "self-determination," "equal opportunity," but did you once go downhill to lunch at my Mama’s dinette? Food twice as good, but the oilcloth's torn? Jeez, I had to quit, from the bends I was getting, climbing that hill to the clouds.

  Dave: Quit, and went into law?

  Damon: To the coast. Where the revolution was real.

  Dave: And Mama... ?

  Damon: And Mama didn’t have to know.

  Dave: Funny. My folks both went to Columbia. Liberals. But I've always suspected they were Communists once. It's only a feeling. They're just regular tired Americans now. Mom's head of United Jewish Appeal. You asleep?

  Damon: Mmmhmm.

  Dave: So you saw my wagon, found Anne's name on the bell...?

  Damon: Beth opened the window. Heard shouting, then I moved in.

  Dave: And yanked out our power.

  Damon: Didn't know how many I'd be dealing with. Put you off-balance. Surprise attack. (Makes him think of Freddy) Oh God...God... (He rolls, shakes with sobs)

  Dave: Easy, easy...

  Damon: He didn't even have a gun. I know it. I'm sure. The pigs are saying he fired on them first. From his bed?! All he had in that place was books. Books all over the damn place. He kept telling the young ones "Nobody can steal what's in your head. That's power." God, I just keep running it over and over. Trying to put myself there, to see if I could have helped: the warm, quiet breathing. Dark. Breathing. Then banging, shouts, stumbling, dark, then flashes, cracks, in the dark, still dark...screams... And it never comes out different. I'm helpless every time.

  (Jack stirs, above, sits up)

  Beth: It's not even light,

  Jack: You sleep?

  Beth: No. Dreamed of skinny dipping in Skunk River, where a little anthropologist and engineer decide to change the world. What happened to us?

  Jack: War.

  Beth: Every front at once – hunger, racism, the war, the planet – who can make sense of us?

  Jack: Because we want t
o fix it all? It’s America.

  Beth: Maybe your dad was right. Provide first for yourself, and then serve.

  Jack: Provisions. I got my pile, you yours. Everybody's hooked in – something to win, something to loose. So who's ever free to serve?

  Beth: Your designs always had trees, light, curving paths… You've lost your sense of people, Jack.

  Jack: Is this about the nails in the bombs?

  Beth: Not only. Feels like the evil we’re fighting has infected us.

  Jack: I’m just doing the job in front of me, babe, and turning to stone. (Gets up abruptly) Maybe because I'm not a loser, but we're losing. And it's hard to take, because we're right. And the right should win. Especially when you give up everything and bet your life on it. (Beat) Gotta get going.

  Beth: (Getting up, dully) What are you doing?

  Jack: Gonna make some calls, contacts. We've got to find another place fast.

  Beth: No.

  Jack: (Looking out at the street) There's a way. Over the roofs. Be back after midnight. Leave a shade up if I should stay away. Good day for telescopes.

  Beth: What?

  Jack: The eclipse. Dave's almighty eclipse.

  Beth: You're walking out of here?! (Beat) Jack?

  Jack: What do you want from me! Is it jail you’re afraid of?

  Beth: Jail would be a relief!

  Jack: (Holds her) Somebody's gotta solve it. Funny, yes? (Salutes) Smile, Dad. (Beat) You all right now?

  (She stares at him, too angry to speak)

  Jack: (Kissing her) Hang on, girl. I love you.

  (Jack starts down stairs. Damon asleep. Dave, with his guitar, speaks softly to us as Jack moves, checking details on his way down, will find Anne asleep in the bird room)

  Dave: The sun will rise…and creep its way even into this dark house, all unaware the moon is racing toward it, collision bound. And man, wise man, has known for a hundred hundred years, that on this exact day, at high, bright noon…the earth will darken and cool, animals tremble, mortals gape in fear of their doom… (unless the whole magilla's been postponed on account of my absence) …as darkness comes tearing, and bites, bites, bites at the sun ‑ the source of green, of warmth, of everything. And when it is finished, total...we see at last that great god, what it is, while sky and all things turn unheard of hues, we see its cooler edge...is fire, ravenously spilling, mountainous explosions of gas. (Seeing Jack) You’re up before the sun.

  Damon: (Groggy) Have you considered...this ugly aggression of the moon's could be related to the new American flag on her shoulder?

  Jack: (To Dave) Anne?

  Dave: Finally asleep.

  Damon: University of Chicago’s finest.

  Jack: Believe it. When she snaps to, she'll work the tail off you. Damon? (Offers his hand)

  Dave: (Looks at Jack, then takes his hand) You going somewhere?

  Jack: Yah.

  Dave: Then I can...

  Jack: Then you can nothing. I'm risking it to get us out of here. There can’t be a parade.

  Dave: Shit.

  Jack: Ah, Damon. I don't want to inconvenience you, but...

  Damon: But you want me to use the service entrance.

  Jack: Wish it was that simple.

  Damon: I'm invited to supper?

  Jack: Sorry.

  Damon: You outlaws lead a hard life. Haven't finished my business, anyway.

  Jack: You want the dynamite?

  Damon: Damn straight.

  Jack: See you then.

  Dave: Just a goddamned minute, Cowboy.

  Jack: (Stops, impatient) What.

  Dave: Y’clean forgot the leg irons.

  Jack: What are you talking...?

  Dave: Just who's the babysitter round here? Who's the head honcho?

  Jack: Anne.

  Dave: Anne hasn’t said a coherent word since Fred Hampton’s slaughter. You think you're gonna leave me here with a pile of dynamite, a bunch of hysterical women, and an itchy-fingered coon – you'd better be ready with a padlock and chains, cause that's what it’s going to take.

  Jack: Grow up, Dave.

  Dave: Me grow up? I'm not the one playing games. If you can go, I can go. Because, either it's not so dangerous as you're making out, or you're exposing all of us, unnecessarily, because you can't take incarceration. (Beat) Or, if something's so fucking important out there, send Beth. She's less known, she slips around like a tadpole's shadow, and she needs the air a lot more than you do.

  Beth: (Standing above them) It's called "underground." You called it, and you’ll keep it.

  Jack: You don’t tell me…

  Beth: To take what the rest of us take? You can’t lay down the law to Anne and me, then prowl out “catting” when it gets close in the foxhole. This isn’t “Jack deciding to run for Senate” – this is what’s left of our cause!

  (Furious, Jack heads for the door. Damon and Dave tense)

  Beth: If you leave, you’re out. Do not come back; do not attempt to communicate. And pray no one’s casing us, or we’re all finished.

  Jack: (Stops) That’s irrational bullsh–

  Beth: Go quick. Pigs are closing in; we’re holed up here with dynamite. No deniability. Won’t play well on your mama’s society page. This is endgame, Jack. Takes less than a fraction of your phenomenal IQ to realize you’d better get the hell away. (Beat) But if you do stay...there is a short wave to fix, and we could use it. Parts are up in the den.

  Jack: (Glares at them, storms up stairs) Fucking incompetent assholes.

  (Beth follows Jack)

  Damon: You sure you're with these guys?

  Dave: My sleek friend Panther, do not underestimate despair.

  Damon: No shit! This place is a tinder box. The man snatches me here, my reputation's ruined.

  (Dave surveys mess, begins gingerly gathering bundles already taped together, placing loose sticks back in the crate. Beth above, while Jack sets to work on radio, will check on Anne, and return)

  Damon: (Wanting to know how it's done) What do you do with this stuff?

  Dave: I'm just a rookie.

  Damon: Wire, nails... Making a chicken coop?

  Dave: What Anne said was we'll build these things, stockpile them, then begin drops.

  Damon: We? So you the man again? (Handling nails) Mighty big nails for a chicken coop.

  Dave: There's a list of targets: ROTC buildings, draft boards, napalm manufacturers, companies with military contracts or exploiting poor countries: numero uno – United Fruit. Ned and Josy were casing – places to make drops, building layouts, night-watch habits...

  Damon: (Winding clock) Better make sure these suckers keep time. You didn’t answer me.

  Dave: What if I am the man? Might finally make me feel like I’d been there. (Filling bag with nails, tape, wire) The women do the actual drops. Dress up to look pretty. And straight.

  Damon: (Picking up a blasting cap) And harmless. What's this?

  Dave: Oh my god, don't...! Ah, put it down gently…and don’t…open it.

  Damon: (Putting down blasting cap) Hoohooo.

  Dave: I mean, I don't ...remember, exactly, but...

  Beth: (Just above them) I'll take care of it.

  (Dave and Damon step away. Beth moves to pack the blasting caps. She is shy of Damon, doesn't look his way. A paper girl comes round the outside)

  Dave: Uh...I’ll see if I can get some coffee together? Lucky Anne cooks with gas.

  (Damon settles back watching Beth, who expertly packs the materials. Silence)

  Beth: (To Dave) Heard from Anne?

  Dave: (From stove) Once she spoke, but she was asleep. Said in a child's voice "It's beautiful, but can't fly. It's made of gold."

  (Beth starts down cellar steps with the bags. A loud thump – newspaper against door. All three are startled. Paper girl exits)


  Dave: What is that? (Hurries to cellar stairs, calls softly) Beth? I think it's someone at the door.

  Beth: Wait. (Moves quietly upstairs) Wait. (Creeps to door, sees paper on stoop, opens door a crack, takes paper to the kitchen)

  Dave: (Relaxing) Ahh, the country joys. The Times at the door. Coffee's ready, Madame. (Pours for three, opens the paper) There it is… "Chicago police raid Panther..." Want me to read?

  Damon: (Quickly) No.

  Beth: Why don't you...take that out of here.

  Dave: Sure. (Gets up with paper, cup) I’ll check Anne, too.

  (Dave climbs stairs. Beth and Damon alone. Silence)

  Beth: Maybe when we get through this...you'll arrange a meeting between your people and...

  Damon: Forget it.

  Beth: Can't you see we care?

  Damon: You're as soul-enlightened as they come, Miz Beth. In fact, I'm positive you'd step in front of any bullet intended for me. True? You care. But you're not honest.

  Beth: I’m what?

  Damon: Say you didn't know me. And we're both taking the subway. Say you're alone on the platform. And I start moving toward you, just a bit...scruffy looking. Now. Will you swear you aren't more scared – more ah nervous – than if I was white?

  (Beth’s small gasp)

  Damon: You're not big enough to banish your fear, and I'm not big enough to pity it. I only know, on that platform, you'd rather I weren't there.

  Beth: (Stares at him, then– ) You can see…I'm from pure white prairie, so Little Rock was shocking. (Beat) When I got to college there was one black girl in my dorm. Big, beautiful, talented... We loved her. We elected her head of our floor, knocked ourselves over trying to sit with her at dinner. I was radiant about the whole thing until...one day I realized I was proud of my friendship with Belinda. I thought I was a really good person for being friends with her.

  Damon: Oh baby.

  Beth: I raged, terrified – "How did it get there? Where did it come from? How could this poison…get into me?!

  Damon: Did you find out?

  Beth: Not easily. Like acid – tiny assumptions – snatches from childhood. My parents were never openly... Quite the opposite. But the worst came in a Sunday School song:. (Sings quickly)

  "Jesus loves the little children

  All the children of the world–

  Red and yellow, black and white

  They are precious in his sight

  Jesus loves the little children of the world"

  Nice song. But what does it say to the child singing it? That what we naturally believe, is…Jesus doesn't love all the children. (Speaks through sob) What chance did I have?

  (Damon swallows, reaches to her. She clings to his arm, finally weeps, released)

  Damon: Start with the truth. Feel what you really feel – afraid. There's a creature who reflects green. And blue. Not peach, rose, ivory. But green and blue. How strange. How alien. “I'll get away from that," you say. But I don't like fear. I'll overcome it. I'm better than that creature. Smarter. Cleaner. Then, stronger. Then, richer.

  (Dave returns, and surprised at them together, sits on landing with a camera, examining and winding it)

  Damon: It's natural. There's nothing wicked in being scared of what's strange. But let's explore, reach, make a bond – like a plank pushed over this ugly chasm. If you love someone alien, and shove away fear, revulsion, you won't automatically love his brother, but the trust love tricks you into can spill over, make your next bond easier, sooner, a step on the way to...automatic.

  (Dave begins to move in on them with the camera)

  Damon: Then the fear that separates, that breeds ugliness in people otherwise kind, can be calmed. We can all seek danger where it lies: in the corrupt heart. Never in the innocent skin. The difference betraying you...and me, is only a trick of the light.

  Dave: (Clinking photos of the two) Gotcha. Trick a' the light, trick a' the light.

  Damon: There's not enough light down here to get a picture, honk brain.

  Dave: (Continues framing and clicking) Fast film, mighty fast film.

  Beth: You're ruining it.

  Dave: (Winding, unloading) Exposed film, Madonna; that's what it takes. You've served science. It's in the paper – birds will go to roost at midday. (Runs to pick up paper) Noon today. Imagine. In some places on the earth, they'll think the world is coming to an end. Source of light, heat, life, blotted out.

  Beth: Was there anything about...

  Dave: East Third? No. Probably not important enough. Remember, they didn't find dynamite. (Glancing at headlines) "Riot fever expected to drop in nation's cities this summer" Well, there's a relief. How much collapse can one old republic withstand? Here we are... "97 zillion gillion tons of bubbling gas will be in the shade for 3 minutes, 13 seconds, and temperatures all around the earth will drop 14 degrees." Think of it. Something like that can still effect us. You'd think all the horrors we concoct for each other would overshadow – note clever pun – overshadow anything mother nature could turn out. Aren't you guys hungry?

  (Dave begins rummaging for food. Above, Jack pushes away from radio, startled, then descends the stairs quickly, looking to see who's there)

  Jack: Where’s Anne? Get her. Fast.

  Dave: (Annoyed) Yes sir. (He climbs, calling) Breakfast, luv!

  Beth: What's going on?

  Jack: I picked up a broadcast. They’re reporting the East Third raid. The arrests. Saying they have a ring leader, and... (Sees Dave leading Anne down, who seems shaky on stairs)

  Beth: What!

  Anne: (Direct, though hoarse) What are they saying?

  Jack: ...that they're ready to move on three more "safe houses."

  Anne: (Silence as they look at each other) What do you think?

  Jack: That we've got to move. Now.

  Anne: But if they know...

  Jack: We can't be gone fast enough. It's our only chance.

  Beth: If they're already staked out, we’ll only save them smoking us out, fly right into their arms.

  Anne: If they don't know...and we run...

  Beth: We risk getting picked off on the street.

  Damon: And losing the safe house.

  Anne: (Surprised look at Damon. Beat) Losing everything.

  Dave: But we're sitting ducks.

  Jack: Only if they know.

  Dave: If!

  Beth: What three safe houses are there?

  Anne: There aren't.

  Jack: That’s right. So why did they say three?

  Beth: It's a bluff.

  Dave: How do you know?

  Beth: I don't.

  Dave: And you've got no way to learn a goddamned thing! No phones, no...

  Anne: Thank god we've been shut down, and that Damon pulled the juice. There’ve been no signs of life here since...

  Dave: I'm for getting out. Now.

  Beth: Jack?

  Jack: Running assumes we're cornered, with no choice.

  Beth: Right. Consensus?

  Jack: If I set up a watch, we might be able to see if there's a stake-out – a manned vehicle nearby. And we could do raid drills. Trace the roof escape...tonight.

  Beth: (Exhausted by his need to move) Anne?

  Anne: ...since Damon came in and... (She’s stuck, looking at Damon)

  Beth: Anne?

  Anne: What.

  Beth: What do you think?

  Anne: (Vaguely) Sure. Whatever Jack...(Starts up stairs)

  Jack: (Looks at Beth, follows Anne) I can see the whole street from this window. Look.

  Anne: (Ignores Jack, shakes off Beth who’s run up after her) Let me be!

  Dave: (Wary, watching them) Last chance at the OK corral? (His joke fades, as Beth returns) Guess Anne's still off somewhere with Freddy?

  (Beth shaken, doesn’
t reply, sits)

  Damon: (Watching Beth) Anne was never the dangerous one...

  Dave: Danger make anybody else ravenous? (Goes back to refrigerator)

  Damon: …Beth is. You all right, Babe?

  Dave: We're gonna need our strength.

  Beth: (Still staring ahead, determined to keep them moving) Damon...

  Damon: I hear you.

  (No break in dialogue while above: Jack watches street; Anne lost, starts back down)

  Beth: What if we renounce our privilege?

  Damon: (Puzzled, then gets it– ) That won't make us equals. I never had a position to renounce.

  Dave: Banana bread! Hey!

  Beth: But you have to give us a chance to...

  Damon: You can't be trusted; you're self-destructing because you’re riddled with self-hate.

  Beth: And you're not?

  Damon: Oooh, stepped in it.

  Beth: You sure did.

  Damon: Right on, sister. (Hiss) Sick.

  Dave: Anne or no Anne, the pigs are going to find us!

  (Anne continues down to cellar, disappears without being noticed. Damon and Beth intense– )

  Damon: But most of my fight is clean. Another congressional seat, another seat on the bus. Risk for commensurate gain. We're