America Finding Her Way

by Karen Sunde

Kat, searched until light. And then I found her, down deep in pine needles, under the elbowed out roots of a log. It was a den, still fresh from its winter bear.

  Jawea: What did she say?

  Lena: She seemed fine. Asked about the fair...as though nothing had happened. But the doctors wanted to monitor her. And Brad and I were in shock ourselves. It's hard to know how she was then, because soon she began to have this...weakness. And by now she's been tested for everything on earth. But she keeps slipping farther away.

  (Jawea moves close, watching Sally sleep. Lena controls her emotion, quickly– )

  Lena: Finally, the psychiatrist said Sally may have faced ”being alone in the world" at an age too young to accept it, and therefore be...damaged emotionally – feeling we abandoned her, that she can't trust us with her safety, that she's alone forever.

  (To Lena's surprise, Jawea laughs)

  Jawea: On the rez, they'd be more practical.

  Lena: On the rez?

  Jawea: They'd say– "She thinks she's a bear." We'd dance to bring her spirit back, and then she'd be well.

  Lena: Because of the dance?

  Jawea: Yeah. Hoyatu, Matu’s man, was a great healer.

  Lena: Matu was married?

  Jawea: He went up the mountain long ago. Said the valley was too weak.

  Lena: (Confused) But with a dance, a child like Sally would be completely healed?

  Jawea: Yup.

  Lena: Why? What would...?

  Jawea: Because they believe it.

  Lena: And so does the child.

  Jawea: Uh-huh.

  Lena: Then what about Sally?

  Jawea: She could have had a vision.

  Lena: God...

  Jawea: She could have seen something from the spirit world.

  Lena: (Rush of relief) Something she doesn't know how to tell us?

  Jawea: That can happen when you stay alone. It's how we find our path. And if Sally loved the woods, she’d be open to it. She might be out of balance with plain life now.

  Lena: That's what you say when someone's sick? They're out of balance.

  Jawea: Of harmony, yeah.

  Lena: Will you try to help her?

  Jawea: I could be wrong. Some sickness is Indian, some not. We come to town to cure Anglo sickness.

  Lena: Anglos can't cure her. A dozen doctors already; they do nothing. No one can even tell me what's wrong.

  Jawea: If she were Indian, I could...

  Lena: (Sharp) She's only a child! Does it matter what she believes? (Instant softening) I'm sorry. Of course it matters. You see how I need you. Please.

  Jawea: Look, I'm not a medicine woman. I know nothing.

  Lena: But you do have a gift.

  Jawea: The people say my gift is a sign of their deliverance; I’m not allowed to give it away.

  Lena: To Anglos.

  Jawea: Right.

  Lena: But to help a child? She doesn't even know she's an Anglo.

  (Jawea looks long at Lena, then puts out a hand to her. Their hands clasp)

  Jawea: Sit by her. Hold your sleeping daughter.

  (Lena cradles Sally in a pieta. Matu chants, far away)

  Jawea: Breathe with her. Breathe deep. Close your eyes. See yourself with her, loving her. Warm, where she sleeps, deep in den of the bear. Now–

  (Jawea sits facing them. Takes Sally's hand, lifts it on her own, palm to palm, then covers it with her other hand, letting warmth flow from hand to hand. Sally's breath deepens, her head turns, her eyes open and see Jawea)

  Sally: (Weak, but clear) Who are you?

  (Lena gasps, excited)

  Jawea: Friend of yours.

  Sally: Good. (Sliding back to sleep)

  Lena: (Hushed) Oh my god.

  Jawea: My friends call me Jawea.

  Sally: (Blinking awake) I'm...Sally.

  Jawea: Want to play with me, Sally?

  Sally: I want to.

  Jawea: Then you will.

  (Sally looks at Jawea, imagines running with her, begins to lift herself, smiling)

  _________________________________

  High on mountain

  Dark with streaks of sunset color becoming pitch dark, woods sounds clear: "Crunch" of steps coming, then "Yeow" of someone taking a fall, off.

  Teddy: (Stumble-rolls on, then crouches over his ankle) Damn! Ouch.

  Brad: (Hushed behind) What the hell you doing? Get your barrel out of the dirt. Jesus.

  Teddy: (Struggling to right the high-powered scoped rifle he carries) Tripped over a log or something.

  Brad: (Grabs rifle from Teddy) See why you leave the safety on? Could of blown yourself up. Or worse yet, me.

  Teddy: Tangled my foot. Can't see a thing.

  Brad: (Looking out) Yeah. Sun dropped fast.

  Teddy: (Rubbing ankle) Where's Jimbo. Ouch.

  Brad: (Makes bird sound) Oou, oou, oooou (Listens) He better not have... Oou, oou, ooou. (Listens. No response) Damn, if he's lost...

  (Silence. Then crackle, off, of something moving)

  Brad: Figures.

  Jimbo: (Off) Guys could light a fire. (He appears, huffing)

  Brad: Here?

  Jimbo: How much farther we gonna stumble? Light's gone now.

  Brad: Not our fault. Lost an hour with your shortcut.

  Jimbo: You sure we're not on the top quadrant?

  Brad: Nope. Followed the perimeter, due west about two miles since the Braves place.

  Teddy: "Braves" place, yeah– "spook" place. All that skin hanging. (Rubs ankle) Auuh.

  Jimbo: (Sliding his pack off) This spot's good. Level enough.

  Brad: (Giving in) All right. (Slides his pack off)

  Teddy: What do they do there?

  (As talk goes on, they set up a lean-to for shelter, stow packs, gear, carefully place weapons. Teddy loosens his boot, groaning. They're exhausted, hushed, so as not to advertise their presence. They are in thin pine forest, with branches 50 feet above)

  Brad: Indian boys climb to become men, stop there, pray to the mountain I guess.

  Teddy: Pray for what – a convertible, a keg, and college?

  Brad: They don't cross higher because up there’s the Gods' place. Just hang themselves up on trees, by their titties.

  Teddy: Jesus.

  Brad: They hang long as their skin holds out. When it tears loose, they fall.

  Jimbo: What we eating?

  Teddy: Least you didn't try to camp under it.

  Jimbo: I'm starved.

  Brad: Got jerky, beans...

  Jimbo: And beer!

  Teddy: Should of let me snag that doe. Man, she was this close. I had her dead on my cross hairs. Could be eating venison.

  Brad: Then what? You gonna pack it? We're not gaming. If it's not Blood White, you don't shoot it. That way we get no jumpy wildlife, no stray shots, no blood spoor.

  Jimbo: And no cooking anyway.

  Teddy: What?!

  Jimbo: Don't want to send out extra smells. Your feet's bad enough, don't you think? Bloody'll know you're here in a second. Come round to lick your toes. Would you hand me a goddamn beer!

  (Breaking out food, they sit and eat, ravenously)

  Teddy: (Mouthful) Getting cold.

  Jimbo: We're pretty high.

  Teddy: We allowed a fire at least?

  Jimbo: Sure we ain't stepped on Bloody's side yet?

  Brad: Nope. Never been sighted this far down. Nobody ever been lost till they cross the timberline. We'll stay out of his territory till dawn.

  Teddy: Sure quiet.

  (They all listen)

  Brad: Hear the pines? Way up there.

  Teddy: Hardly a whisper.

  Brad: Been here a lot longer n'you been listening.

  Jimbo: Lucky it didn't burn this high. What game's left moved up.

  Brad: H
ere, and onto the Skin's land.

  Jimbo: Damn reservation. Never did a thing with that land. Lazy bastards.

  Teddy: What makes them Indians think the mountain top's theirs?

  Brad: Never belonged to nobody.

  Teddy: We could as soon say it's holy to us, you know?

  Jimbo: (Sniggers) Yeah, march up here 4th of July, tamp down a flag...

  Brad: All we gotta do is take out Blood White. Place'll be wide open.

  Teddy: Be more "hunter orange" up here than there's trees.

  Jimbo: Probably give us a statue down center of Market street – like those Iwo Jima guys.

  Brad: (Beginning to build a fire) Break down your rifle, Teddy. Needs cleaning.

  Teddy: I just did.

  Brad: Not since you rammed it into that pine bed, you ain't.

  Jimbo: What you figure to take him with, Brad?

  Teddy: (With his new rifle) Brand new Colt AR 16. Yeah! This baby'll stop him dead.

  Jimbo: Don't count on it. Packing an automatic? What if a game marshal stops you?

  Brad: You picture a marshal on this hike?

  Teddy: Crime bill, my ass. Like to see those pussies in Washington try a single action on a pack of coyotes ripping sheep's throats.

  Jimbo: Well, that there's an assault weapon.

  Brad: Naw, what he's got there's a coyote deterrent.

  Jimbo: (Setting up emergency flashlights) Don't mean it'll stop Bloody.

  Teddy: Who's ever tried? What'd you bring? Your 30 aught 6?

  Jimbo: I'd rather of.

  Teddy: Wouldn't even pick off a cub.

  Jimbo: Mebbe. But don't you count on dropping him clean. No matter if your first shot's dead on his brain, it's still just an opener.

  Teddy: What do you mean?

  Jimbo: Once you've got Bloody's attention, it's his game. You just pray you can stay in play. He comes at you like a runaway freight train, mowing down saplings like toothpicks, moving so fast he's a blur. And you're right. My old 30 aught 6 wouldn't even tickle him. 'Less I shot it up his nose.

  Teddy: You trying to scare me?

  Brad: (Enjoying it) Spot like that, Teddy boy, holding your nerve's more important than your aim. Cause his rage triples his strength: once I tracked a she I'd hit up to brush, heard her whining in there, hit her again in the heart – she spun and roared, blowing bloody foam, came flying at me, fangs snarling. Third shot hit square in her eye – she never lost a step, kept flying for my throat, split second off, half a leap away. My last shot smashed up through her jaw, but if I hadn't jumped clear as I fired, she'd still have had me with the pass whack.

  Teddy: The what?

  (Brad grins; Jimbo collects and packs the food, straps it up a tree)

  Jimbo: Pass whack. She flies on by, doesn't even stop to claw you, just gives a swing in passing. You know old Mac? Side of his face's a mushed up blob? I helped cart him home. He said he heard his face bone crack, had ear and nose both dangling loose, his lungs showed through his cracked up ribs, and he's only hit but once.

  Teddy: Leave me alone! Think I've never been out? Me and Nelson took a dozen deer before he...(Remembering Nelson shot in the face, can’t speak)

  Brad: Yeah. Nelson.

  Teddy: (Pause) So what'd you bring.

  Jimbo: My Winchester .378. (Setting it out) And the trusty 44. (Patting shoulder holster under his jacket)

  Teddy: Why do you want that?

  Jimbo: You got no pistol?

  Teddy: What for? Weighs me down. Got no range.

  Brad: Hunh.

  Teddy: What?

  Brad: Thought you were listening. "Range" is nice, but your bear takes care of it for you real quick.

  Jimbo: Say you're pass whacked – your rifle flips into the next county, cause he'll latch his razor prongs into your shoulder and toss you high. Then when you've hit the ground he spears your butt, tosses you again, then shakes you like a mouse he needs to tenderize, and when you're spread out nice and soft, he gets down to claw rakes and biting chunks of every part there's meat. Only chance you've got is when he's sure you're dead, and decides to bury you. Now – circumstance like that – like the Vikings said, your sword's not too short if you get up close – I mean, you're right, a pistol won't stop a big bear. But if I'm belly up on the meat block, I'd trade my fist for a pistol any day. Ain't that right, Brad?

  (Brad is chuckling)

  Jimbo: Bear hunter's best friend is a good holster, strapped on tight.

  Teddy: So, ah...how'll we go after Bloody?

  Jimbo: Humh.

  Brad: (Pause, staring into fire) Carefully.

  (All quiet. Forest night sounds. Wind high above)

  Brad: You ain't got hollow points, have you, Teddy?

  Teddy: Course not. Solids, 200 grain.

  Brad: Good.

  Jimbo: Once we cross higher...

  Brad: We'll spread out, move quiet, and look for sign, but chances are he'll find us first.

  (They are settling into their bedrolls)

  Brad: Naw, pull back, Teddy.

  Teddy: I’ll stay warm up close.

  Brad: You’re also lit up, like a sign says “eat me.” Sleep in the shadow.

  (Teddy moves back from fire. Silence, as they all relax toward sleep)

  Teddy: Heard the Indians think he's a spirit.

  Jimbo: Blood White? Naw, he's real.

  Teddy: Ain't sposed to be grizzlies here.

  Jimbo: He ain't a grizzly.

  Teddy: Heard he's got the Frankenstein shoulders.

  Brad: May be why they think he's a spook.

  Teddy: Ever seen him?

  Brad: Once. At sundown, on a ridge across. Gigantic, up on two legs, looked almost human. He may not really be white, but with the sun glancing off, he just...glowed, like he’s ablaze.

  Jimbo: (Pause) Great time for some pussy.

  Teddy: You got that right.

  Jimbo: Don't like being without.

  Teddy: Guess you'll make it, Jimbo. If I can, you can.

  Jimbo: Brad?

  Brad: Yeah.

  Jimbo: Lena'll forget all that crap.

  Brad: Think so?

  Jimbo: Sure. Specially, we come home with that big bear skin.

  Brad: Sure.

  Jimbo: Bet Bloody squares ten and a half feet. Don't you think?

  Brad: At least.

  Jimbo: Yeah. She'll be glad to see that.

  Teddy: (Pause) How'll we ever move him? Dead weight... (Pause) Brad?

  Brad: Gotta catch him first, Teddy. Then we'll worry.

  (Silence. Night sounds, fire glow)

  Jimbo: (Sings) "Bye baby bunting, Daddy's gone a-hunting...

  (Teddy chuckles, hearing him)

  Jimbo: "...to catch a little bear skin, to wrap his baby bunting in."

  Brad: Jimbo...

  Jimbo: Yeah, Brad.

  Brad: Feel different to you out here?

  Jimbo: Since the fires, yeah. (Pause) You ain't been out since Sally got lost?

  Brad: Couldn't. Felt sick every time I hit the woods. Like the world's dying. Like it's some curse, since the fires. Forest sounds different. Like everything that spoke there is gone.

  (Night sounds, as they fall asleep. In distance, Matu chants. Then shuffling in woods, twigs crackle. Brad sits straight up, listening, reaching for rifle)

  Brad: (Hushed) Jimbo. (Beat) Teddy.

  (Crackling stops. Pause. Then begins again)

  Brad: (Chambering a round, clicking off safety) Jimbo.

  Jimbo: (Groggy) What.

  Brad: You lock up the meat?

  Jimbo: (Rousing himself) Yeah. Everything's high and tight. We got a visitor?

  Teddy: What's going on?

  Brad: Shut up and listen.

  (Silence)

  Jimbo: Maybe scared it off.

  Brad: Yeah...


  (Jimbo stokes the fire)

  Teddy: Should somebody stay awake?

  Brad: No need. I wake if a squirrel moves.

  (They settle back; trying to sleep. Brad clicks his safety on, but keeps his hand on his rifle. Silence)

  Brad: Jimbo.

  Jimbo: Yeah.

  Brad: Something's breathing out there.

  Jimbo: Wouldn't surprise me.

  (They fall asleep again, fire dies, Matu’s chant builds until Jimbo feels breath of the beast on his face and yells in dark– )

  Jimbo: Christ!

  (Sudden animal grunt, snarl. Men jolt awake, scramble for their weapons, blindly)

  Brad: Jimbo! Watch out.

  Teddy: Where's my gun, where's my gun!

  (Stumbling in dark. First shape we see – bear clamped on Jimbo's shoulder, tossing him)

  Jimbo: Aaaaaaah..!

  Brad: Where are you, Teddy?

  Teddy: Over here, over here. I'm trying to get my...

  Brad: Stay clear! Roll, Jimbo, so I can get a shot. Jimbo! I can't see you. Jimbo!

  (The shadow lunges toward Brad and he fires, but is swatted aside. They each get mauled. Teddy is clawed and gets his leg chomped. It's as though a tornado hits. Can't reach rifles in dark; leave them. Camp is torn apart, shredded)

  Jimbo. Just get out, leave everything. Run. Run!

  Brad: Don't scatter. Jimbo! Don't scatter.

  Teddy: Where are you? Don't leave me, don't leave me!

  (And though they struggle to get shots off, the bear's thrashing roar as he gashes through tents and flings gear high like an erupting volcano make them scramble, terrified, and literally run for their lives. The bear rages through the camp, smashing, devouring)

  Sally: (Call) Daddy.

  ____________________________

  Lena's Home

  The shredded remains of camp becomes house cleaning Lena’s doing in her exuberance. A corner pile, and rifle butt in another corner will stay put.

  Sally: Daddy?

  (Sally’s reclining, still covered and weak, but in a bright mood)

  Lena: (Energetically cleaning) What you need, honey?

  Sally: Is it Daddy coming?

  Lena: (Startled, wondering what Sally heard) No. Daddy's gone hunting.

  Sally: (Delighted) Oh, it's Jawea.

  (Jawea enters, carrying a wrapped cake tin)

  Lena: She knew you were here...

  Jawea: Cool.

  Lena: ...before you were. And she woke up hungry!

  Jawea: Matu loaded me with corn cakes. Said you should heat them.

  Lena: Did she like the pot I made her?

  Jawea: Already started on a basket to set it in. Lucky I had the pot, or she'd have scalped me for staying so late.

  Sally: I'm ready, Jawea.

  Jawea: You'd better be. I've got a long climb today.

  Lena: You're going for the herbs?

  Jawea: Yes. Matu says the yarrow grows up high.

  Lena: (Catching Jawea by her hands, moved– ) Jawea, I can't tell you...

  Jawea: Don't bother. Sally's good for me. Matu says "Watch who sits in your path. They have something to show you." So this little weed...is my crossing light.

  Sally: Have I turned green?

  Jawea: You're getting close.

  Sally: Can I be Jawea?

  Jawea: Sure. Mom named me Jane, but when my gang took African names, they called me Jawea, after some Native chick.

  Sally: I’m climbing the mountain with you.

  Jawea: You bet you are.

  Sally: Not next time. Today.

  Jawea: Can’t. I need you here – to play that you're with me. Cause then I'll find your herbs three times faster.

  Sally: Faster than what?

  Jawea: Faster than if you don't play. It's hard work.

  (She circles Sally with her arms, taking both hands in hers, closes her eyes, rocks, and hums. Sally hums with her. Matu’s chant under. Lena watches, moved

  Sally: Your hands are so warm.

  Jawea: That's what we want. Power is flowing.

  Sally: (Happily mimicking Jawea) That's what we want.

  Jawea: (Humming, then– ) What do you think about bears?

  Sally: I don't know any.

  Jawea: Do they scare you?

  Sally: No! Mother bears love their cubs.

  Jawea: I wished for a mother bear. When mine died, I thought I'd be alone forever. But it’s not true. No matter what happens, Sally, you're never alone.

  Sally: Cubs stay warm.

  Jawea: My people call the bear strong medicine. Hoyatu told Matu the bear gave us healing. If you went to sleep in a bear's den when you were lost, maybe you had a strong dream there. When you're well you'll remember your dream, and you'll know it's good.

  Sally: I am well.

  Jawea: (Taking a pollen pouch from her neck) Want to see what's in here?

  (Knock at door; it's Kat. Jawea opens the little bag, lets Sally look)

  Sally: Yellow?

  Jawea: From flowers. Like star dust. Here's some to bless you.

  (Jawea tosses a pinch of pollen at Sally, who laughs; Lena lets Kat in)

  Kat: (Chatters) Sorry, I keep worrying about the guys. Brought you some stew. Just look at this potful; how'd I manage to make too much for all those kids and me?

  (Jawea moving around Sally, tossing pollen at her. Kat freezes – amazed at Sally's liveliness, but horrified at the pagan rite)

  Sally: "Ring around the rosy"... Why do you go in a circle?

  Jawea: I stand everyplace good can come at you. From four directions. The circle strings them together, and it stands for all the good, everything God made. And you sit on the crossing place. The very very center of good.

  Sally: (Opens her arms) The very very center.

  (Jawea hugs Sally. Kat hides her face. Lena puts her hand on Kat. As Kat recovers– )

  Kat: Sally... Do you remember me?

  Sally: You're Auntie Kat.

  (Kat embraces Sally, ecstatic. But then she's faced with Jawea, swallows her revulsion)

  Kat: What was that...with the pollen?

  Jawea: (Pleased) You know it’s pollen?

  Kat: (Denying) No I... I just... (But Kat’s hiding something)

  Jawea: I'm not a medicine woman. I just say what I know.

  Kat: (Twisting) Oh God, Lena...

  Lena: We all pray any way we know, don't we Kat? Try Matu's corn cake.

  Kat: How did it happen? How did she...

  Sally: I’m all better, Jawea.

  Jawea: (Kissing her forehead, rising) Better every day.

  Sally: I can climb the mountain.

  Jawea: You need more rest.

  Sally: I can walk.

  (Lena and Kat watch anxiously)

  Jawea: Your heart wants to. But first your mind has to walk. I need you to think of me climbing, think of me finding the herbs we need to make you strong.

  Sally: (Holds out her arms) Jawea, help me.

  Jawea: (Can’t resist) One little promise of your power. Then you’ve got to rest.

  (Jawea supports Sally as she shakily slides her weight forward)

  Sally: Watch me, Auntie Kat. I'm getting up.

  Jawea: Just a step, little bear.

  (Lena and Kat wary, excited, as Sally slides feet to floor, puts weight on them)

  Sally: See me stand! See me stand!

  _____________________________________

  Mountain

  Teddy’s wail meets Sally's "See me stand!"

  Teddy: Braaaaad!

  (Morning. Teddy stumbles on, ragged from tearing through brush all night, clutching his mauled arm. He's still in the nightmare, fighting for his life. Huffing, he hears only distorted nature sounds in his crazed perception of what is, in fact, a beautiful clear day – sun bores on him, insects torment, everything in
the woods is his enemy)

  (The hunters are in despair. The hunt they hoped would renew them backfired – humiliating, more certainly destroying them than all the civilized defeats they've suffered. Extreme hazard vs. lyric bird sound)

  Teddy: (Mutters feverishly) No one coming. Gotta get down.

  (Gasping, Teddy moves again, then stops, his eyes wide, hearing movement in brush)

  Teddy: (Call) Who is it?!

  (No answer. Crackling comes closer)

  Teddy: (Muttering) Won't catch me sleeping, you son of a...

  (He looks frantically for something to climb, huddles, trying to hide. We wait, with crackling increasing...till Jimbo drags on, in even worse shape, dragging a mauled leg. He stands huffing, peering about)

  Teddy: (Gasp) Jimbo.

  Jimbo: (Growling gasp) Stupid kid.

  Teddy: (Throws himself at Jimbo, embraces, sobs– ) You're all right.

  Jimbo: (Embracing him) Get hold, get hold.

  Teddy: (Erupting) I was lost. Couldn't see anything, just ran, ran... Did he get Brad? It was like a whole sea hit, a hurricane, I saw him pick you up... God, Jimbo.

  Jimbo: (Shaking Teddy) Get hold! We're 'bout half way down. Gotta find Brad.

  Teddy: Brad led the bear away. I could hear him. What if he's...in pieces. What if...

  Jimbo: Shut up! Gotta find him. Where's your rifle?

  Teddy: Rifle? You gotta be kidding. Ripped outa my hand. Before I could even flip the safety off. I just ran.

  Jimbo: Shit.

  Teddy: Lucky we got yours.

  Jimbo: We ain't. When he tossed me, it flew. Didn't have time, in the dark.

  Teddy: Well, what's that? There it is, Jimbo.

  Jimbo: You're crazy. We're miles down the mountain.

  Teddy: It's right there.

  (Teddy's pointing to rifle butt, unnoticed till now, as though afraid of it)

  Jimbo: (Moves to it) That's not mine. (Picks up rifle) It's Brad's.

  Teddy: Oh god. Then he was here.

  Jimbo: Maybe. (Begins surveying the area)

  Teddy: What are you...