Starting From Zero (Starting From Series Book 1)
Page 22
I nodded. “You should definitely tell him.”
Justin bit his bottom lip and grinned. “I love you. I want to be your story. I want to be your love song. And I want you to be mine.”
“Yes. Starting now.”
We kissed under the stars like we were the only two people left on the planet. The city lights, the traffic noise, and the conversations of passersby faded to a dull static. Time didn’t matter; the past had no place here. This was true music. The silence in between the notes marked the beginning of our love story, starting from zero.
EPILOGUE
“Where words fail, music speaks.”—Hans Christian Andersen
Justin
BAKING WAS SUPPOSED to be fun. Sugar, chocolate, and butter were magical ingredients, so anyone who could read directions should be able to make a damn cake. The state of our kitchen suggested that might not be the case. Five mixing bowls, a KitchenAid appliance that was supposedly ideal for the task, and a variety of ingredients littered the island. And a mixture of flour, salt, and something sticky was all over the hardwood floors…and me. I studied the recipe again before glancing at the puppy sleeping in his crate in the living area.
If Chester woke up, I’d have a legit excuse to leave this mess and order dessert like I should have in the first place. I tossed the wooden spoon into the bowl. Nothing. I picked up a measuring spoon and “accidentally” dropped it on the counter. He snored and let out an adorable whimper, but he still didn’t wake up.
“Hi baby, what—” Gray stopped in his tracks and opened his mouth in a comical O before shaking his head in bewilderment. He massaged the back of his neck and tried again. “What are you doing?”
“Making a cake for the party,” I announced proudly.
Gray craned his neck to check on our sleeping baby before circling the island with his hands on his hips. “And how’s that going?”
“Not well,” I admitted.
“Let me be the judge.” He stuck his finger in the metal bowl and then tasted the cake batter and shuddered theatrically. I threw my head back and laughed at his antics, which of course woke the dog.
“I’ll get him,” I volunteered.
Gray raced me to the crate and opened the latch for our ten-week-old French bulldog, Chester. “Hey there, little fella. You should see the mess Daddy made while you were sleeping. Come here. Come to Papa.”
“I can’t decide if that’s really cute or if we’re turning into weirdo dog owners,” I deadpanned before crouching beside Gray. I put my arm around my boyfriend and chuckled at the silly “baby” noises he made.
Gray kissed my nose. “What time is everyone coming?”
“Two o’clock. So…I’ve got three hours to either remake the cake or order one. What’s your vote?”
“Order,” he replied immediately. “What made you decide to bake anyway? That’s not like you.”
“I don’t know. I’m feeling very homey, though. I think it’s Chester’s fault. Isn’t it, little cutie patootie cookie cake?”
Gray rolled his eyes and snickered before ushering Chester outside to do his business. I watched my boys with a goofy grin. There was something crazy sexy about my big tattooed hunk taking care of a pint-sized pup. Some days I couldn’t believe this was my life.
I moved into Gray’s house in the Hills in early May, a week or two after Zero’s first show at The Fix. Gray insisted and I couldn’t argue. This was where I belonged. We had a few minor adjustments in the beginning. Gray was used to living alone, and I was used to bunking on a sofa. He was a neat-freak and I was…not. No doubt, he’d taken Chester out to give me a chance to clean the kitchen before he was tempted to take over and make everything spotless for our family and friends.
It was early October, but it was seventy-five degrees and sunny in LA with crystal-blue skies. A perfect day for an impromptu celebratory barbeque. Zero had just finished playing a successful series of sold-out shows in the LA area. Charlie had turned out to be an amazing manager-slash-social-media-guru. Zero was a local band on the rise. Our fan base had skyrocketed over the past six months. We’d had a few record labels voice interest, but Charlie was adamant about controlling our artistic vision. We trusted him to help us find the right fit.
We had a ton of material for an album, including the song Gray and I cowrote. It was a great song. Possibly the best I’d ever written. It was honest and it read like a story of us…from the heart. I choked up every time I sang it. Part of me wanted to keep it for ourselves, but Gray insisted that it was mine to use for Zero’s first album. His exact words were something like, “Don’t be ridiculous. When you have something beautiful, you need to share it with the world. Show everyone that love is real. I love you. I want everyone to know you’re mine.”
I could hardly argue.
Timing was important though. Sure, we could have asked Gray or Seb to step in, but after our attempt at taking a short-cut went sideways, we decided to do things on our own. I tried to ignore the rumors, but I knew Seb scratched his plan to use Xena for the Baxter movie. She’d made money off the contract that I assumed would help Declan and her fund their new band. No doubt Charlie would keep his eye on them. I didn’t want to know. I just wanted to make music.
We were already doing well enough to quit our day jobs and concentrate on our music. And it left us more time to hang out with friends and family. Like today. Johnny, Ky, and Tegan would be here soon. Maybe with dates. I didn’t ask for a headcount, but I knew Ky had a new girlfriend and Tegan was kind of, sort of seeing someone. He’d been very secretive about his new man. I didn’t press. He seemed happy, and that was all that mattered. I teasingly asked Gray if he thought Tegan and Charlie were secret lovers. Gray shook his head and reminded me that Charlie couldn’t keep anything to himself. True. He must have inherited that trait from Seb.
I’d wondered if things would be awkward between Seb and me after I moved into Gray’s house. It wasn’t necessarily smooth sailing. We were both demanding and boisterous, and Gray was our touchstone. We still had to figure out how to move around the past without coming to blows. I supposed we’d get there eventually. Gray told me Seb had helped him get Chester for me, so hey…we were making strides. No doubt he’d come by to play with our pup before everyone arrived.
My brother and Christian were supposed to carpool from Long Beach with our mom too. They’d started a slow healing process. Nothing would be fixed overnight, but no one was hiding anymore. All of our scars and mistakes had been acknowledged. It was time to move on.
I hopped to my feet and headed outside to join Gray on the lawn with Chester…my birthday present. And yeah, our kid. He’d only been living with us for a couple of weeks, but we were both in love with the little furball. And I was madly in love with Gray. He calmed me and excited me in equal measure. He was my best friend and my biggest fan. He saw me for who I was and allowed me to see him. I didn’t take a single second for granted. I wanted us to be the little old couple someone else pointed out to their lover one day. I wanted them to say, “Look at those two old men. They look like they’ve been in love forever.”
I kissed the back of Gray’s neck and then rested my head on his shoulder. “If I were going to buy a dessert, what should I get?”
“Brownies, cookies…no one will care, Jus. They’ll be happy with beer and burgers.”
“So I should break out our ice cream supply?”
“Hell, no. That’s ours,” he huffed in faux annoyance. He wrapped his arm around my waist and pulled me close before showering me with kisses. “Hey, Jus…”
“Hmm?”
“I love you.”
I flashed a megawatt grin at my lover and kissed his lips. “I love you too. And my head is still on Mars.”
“I know,” he chuckled.
A love song is a very personal thing. No two songs are heard the same way. We look and listen for what we want in life. And every so often, we get exactly what we need. I was grateful for a new beginning with Gray, starting
from zero.
“THIS IS LOVE” by Justin Cuevas and Gray Robertson
You in the moonlight, under the lamplight
You with the city behind you and a million stars above
Everything changed and time began
The moment you smiled at me
And for the first time I wondered, is this love?
One night and I was hooked
We talked for hours
You came when I needed you, and you stayed
I can’t imagine a night without you now
And for the first time I wondered, is this love?
Measures of kindness slip into place and allow us moments of purity…
real affection, admiration, friendship
I don’t need words, I don’t need music,
I just need you
And for the first time I know, this is love
OUT IN THE FIELD- COMING JUNE 2019
EXCERPT FROM OUT IN THE FIELD BY LANE HAYES (JUNE 2019)
Phoenix twisted a piece of plastic ivy on his sash and regarded me thoughtfully. “This is a very confusing tête-à-tête. Do you have a crush on me, Max?”
I let out a ragged sigh and glanced toward the crowded corridor. “Yeah, I—maybe.”
“Hmm. If it’s makes it any easier, I like you too. But I’m seeing someone. It’s not serious, but—”
“Then you can see me too, right?”
“Where? In the closet?” he snarked.
“No, smartass. We can meet for coffee or something.”
He regarded me thoughtfully then shook his head. “I should go.”
“Wait.” I grabbed his arm and accidentally pulled him against me. I ran my fingers from his elbow to his wrist before stepping backward. “I’ve been lurking around the food court and walking by the theater even though my classes are on the other end of campus because—”
“Because what?” he prodded.
“I wanted to see you again. I can’t stop thinking about you. It’s been like this for a while for me. It was bad enough when I thought you lived in LA, but I figured I’d snap out of it eventually. But now that I know you’re in the same city, at the same school...I’m going kinda crazy.”
Phoenix regarded me skeptically. “You could have called me.”
“I thought I’d try catch you after your final show instead. Except...not with your sister,” I said with a wry laugh. “I swear to you, I met her five minutes before the lights went down. This was never a date. This was a group of friends using extra tickets to the last night of the school play. I’m sure your sister felt the same way.”
“I doubt it. Those were Sonny’s tickets.”
“Uh...really?” I asked lamely.
“Yeah. I gave them to her. She told me she was going to invite her friend, Sarah, and her boyfriend and then ask them to invite the cute baseball player she has a crush on.”
Oh. Fuck.
“You knew your sister had a crush on me?”
“Of course not! I only knew the lucky guy played your sport. I assumed you knew him, but I didn’t think you were him. Geesh!”
I scratched my jaw thoughtfully. “That’s a little awkward but hey...we’re even now.”
Phoenix huffed indignantly. “Even? How do you figure?”
“’Cause neither of us planned on this, but here we are. It’s like fate or something.”
“Nice try, but I don’t think your reasoning adds up at all. Look, I—”
“Coffee,” I intercepted. “Let’s meet for coffee or wine or—”
“Yogurt,” he pronounced.
“Yogurt?” I wrinkled my nose in distaste.
He nodded. “There’s a new place I’ve been wanting to try on Grand Street. It’s actually a juice bar, but they have frozen yogurt too. Text me. We’ll plan a casual encounter. I mean...if you want.”
“I want.” I fixed him with a slow-growing grin then stuffed my hands in my pockets to keep myself from touching him. “You look hot, by the way.”
“Thank you.” He wrapped his arms around his chest and shivered. “Not much to this costume though. I should grab my sweater.”
I shrugged my navy sport coat off and laid it over his bare shoulders. “Here. Take my jacket.”
“That’s sweet of you, but my bag is in the dressing room and—”
“Just take it. You can give it to me next time I see you,” I said.
He cocked his head curiously. “Okay, but won’t your friends wonder why I’m wearing your stuff?”
“We’re leaving. Or I am anyway. They won’t notice.”
Phoenix slipped his arms in the sleeves and snickered. “This is a true fashion statement. How do I look?”
Ridiculous. But in a charming way.
My jacket was ginormous on him. The fabric hung halfway to his knees and swallowed his hands. He should have looked clownish. But that smile was everything. It was brilliant, bold, and captivating. It rendered clothes a silly distraction. No wonder I didn’t want to leave his side the night we met. Sure, he was pretty and fun. But pretty, precocious twinks weren’t my usual type. Phoenix had to be the exception because I couldn’t get him out of my head. Every time he smiled, he pulled me further into his orbit until I forgot myself and did stupid shit; like show up to a college play to moon over him like a lovesick teenager.
“You look amazing,” I said in a raspy voice I barely recognized. “Just amazing.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Lane Hayes is grateful to finally be doing what she loves best. Writing full-time! It’s no secret Lane loves a good romance novel. An avid reader from an early age, she has always been drawn to well-told love story with beautifully written characters. These days she prefers the leading roles to both be men. Lane discovered the M/M genre a few years ago and was instantly hooked. Her debut novel was a 2013 Rainbow Award finalist and subsequent books have received Honorable Mentions, and were First Place winners in the 2016 and 2017 Rainbow Awards. She loves red wine, chocolate and travel (in no particular order). Lane lives in Southern California with her amazing husband in a newly empty nest.
ALSO BY LANE HAYES
Out in the Deep
Out in the End Zone
Out in the Offense
Leaning Into Love
Leaning Into Always
Leaning Into the Fall
Leaning Into a Wish
Leaning Into Touch
Leaning Into the Look
Leaning Into Forever
A Kind of Truth
A Kind of Romance
A Kind of Honesty
A Kind of Home
Better Than Good
Better Than Chance
Better Than Friends
Better Than Safe
The Right Words
The Wrong Man
The Right Time
A Way with Words
A Way with You
Table of Contents
Title Page
Copyright
Dedication
Contents
1. Justin
2. Gray
3. Justin
4. Gray
5. Gray
6. Gray
7. Justin
8. Gray
9. Justin
10. Justin
11. Gray
Epilogue
Out in the Field- Coming June 2019
Excerpt from Out in the Field by Lane Hayes (June 2019)
About the Author
Also by Lane Hayes
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