A Promise is a Promise

by Wayne W. Dyer

  Some people smell the scent of roses from the Blessed Mother. Others don’t. But no one else has seen her like I do, other than the light that I told you about with Mary Anne, our former neighbor.

  Marcelene smelled the roses on several occasions when she entered Edwarda’s room and commented to me about it. But I have only noticed the lightness of the energy in Edwarda’s room and how peaceful I always feel when I enter that holy space.

  “Kaye, do you ever ask the Blessed Mother, ‘Why’? Why has my daughter stayed in the comatose state for so many years?”

  “No, I never ask why. I figure she has already explained that to me, and I am at peace with it. I have asked her several times to please tell me what she is suffering for. She just smiles, saying Edwarda will tell me when she wakes up. But I am concerned that when she wakes up, she will forget everything. The Blessed Mother says, ‘She will tell you a great journey.’”

  “Kaye,” I asked, “why do you think she is suffering?”

  “I call it suffering because she is not getting the things she would have gotten at 17 and 18, like going to the high-school dance. Every mother wants to see her daughter get dressed up in a gown and go out to the dance,” Kaye explained.

  “Maybe that is suffering,” I offered, “but my feeling is that she’s not suffering in the way we think of suffering. That one woman on Oprah that was in the coma for two years. Remember that? She felt that she was being cradled by God.”

  “Yes,” Kaye answered, “I see that, but I figure it’s what she is missing.”

  “But it is only what her body is missing,” I said.

  “Yes, her soul’s not missing anything,” Kaye agreed. “It’s the human side. So many people are benefiting from her that those human things don’t seem to be as important as they once were to me. Many people have told me that when they get stressed, all they have to do is come and sit in the room with Edwarda. They say they get the calmest feeling just being there with her.

  “But I think when the Blessed mother says ‘suffering,’ she means in a physical way. Edwarda missed out on all the dances and all those years, and she looked forward to going to dances, even when she was 16. She missed out on all that.”

  “Do you think it will matter to Edwarda?” I asked.

  “I feel that she’ll get them back,” Kaye replied. “Knowing her, it won’t matter.”

  Kaye then told me that six months before Edwarda got sick, she asked, “Mom, do you think God is mad at me?”

  “Well, that’s a crazy question,” Kaye had replied. “Why would you even think that?”

  Edwarda told her, “Well, I think God wants me to be a nun!”

  “Well, honey,” Kaye had explained to her daughter, “if God wanted you to be a nun, he would have given you the vocation to be a nun. He would help you with that decision. It’s a vocation. You don’t decide. It is what you are chosen for.”

  Kaye continued relating this incident to me. “Edwarda said that she had seen some of the girls go into the convent, and she felt maybe she should do the same, but she didn’t want to leave us (her family), and she wanted to know if God was mad at her about the decision to go to Notre Dame. I told her God wasn’t mad about her decision to be a teacher or a doctor and not to worry like that.”

  In some mysterious way, Edwarda had an inkling about her destiny—not on a conscious level, or even in the realm of the intellect, but in the heart space where inner truth is experienced.

  One day, Kaye casually mentioned what is perhaps the most compelling thing that the Blessed Mother said to her. “The Blessed Mother says,” Kaye told me, “that once it is known, and Edwarda wakes up, everyone will know that the world will have to have a lot of love, and nothing else.”

  From my perspective, looking back objectively over the years of Edwarda’s life, both comatose and during her first 16 years, she has personified this vision. There was, and is, nothing but pure, unconditional love in Edwarda. Kaye is our living example of how to apply it on the physical level every day of life.

  Perhaps Edwarda is playing a powerful role in the transformation of the world, teaching us by her silence and her suffering that we must find another way, the path of love. Some do it with daily devotion, others write music, teach school, or minister to the poor in the streets of Calcutta. This is Edwarda’s way, and while we pause to consider her, our senses tell us that she is “sick,” that she does not move, that her life is wasting away in silence.

  But when we consult our hearts and look a little deeper into this story, we see that in peace and in silence and in choosing to suffer for others, the world can be transformed. In fact, it is a story that Christians all over the world replay every Easter—a victim soul taking on the ultimate sacrifice and suffering for the salvation of others.

  Perhaps on a different scale, there are victim souls who do it in their own way. In a sense, that is not understood by those of us who are stuck in the worlds of cause and effect, sensory observation, and scientific data. However, it is a way that is far more powerful than anything we can ascertain with our sensory or scientific input.

  Kaye has been reluctant to talk publicly about the visits of the Blessed Mother and the subject of a victim soul. She was initially afraid of the reaction of the priests, and she feared that a circus atmosphere might develop when this information becomes public. But, at this point, she has removed fear from her consciousness. She told me that she is no longer concerned with how she is perceived by others. But in the past, she has had cause to be afraid.

  One evening, someone drove by and put three bullet holes into Kaye’s living room after an anonymous caller told her that they were going to put Edwarda out of her misery. The holes are in her living room wall, and she was fearful for a long time that someone would come to hurt her angel, Edwarda. But that fear passed from her life.

  Kaye feels, in her heart, that truth will prevail, and that it will also set everyone free, as is written in The New Testament. She can handle criticism, doubt, and naysayers, because she has learned not to internalize it. Kaye is uninterested in making herself right or anyone else wrong. She knows that the truth, as she has experienced it, is nothing to be afraid of, and that publicizing the story will in some way be fulfilling Edwarda’s choice to take on the role of victim soul.

  The most troubling aspect of this drama is the worry that Kaye has had to live with for so many years over her growing indebtedness. She is convinced that this was a large factor in her husband’s early death. The strain of working two jobs, having no insurance, and watching debt increase was more than this fiscally responsible father and provider could handle. I asked Kaye if this was still a big worry for her.

  “It was,” she responded, “but then I asked the Blessed Mother about it, and she said to me, ‘My son gave you a mind. You are sharp. Listen to it, and receive what is needed.’

  “And that’s why I’ve written recipes and had them done up in books. I’ve run raffles just about every year. It takes a lot of work, but I don’t have any group coming and doing it for me. When Edwarda first got sick, I had about five teachers come down and help me with envelopes and that. Now, most everything is done by me.”

  Kaye has remained in debt, but her faith in the Blessed Mother and the goodness of humanity is where she places her thoughts:

  The Blessed Mother said to me that everything will be fine. She never talks finances, just keeps telling me that I have a brain and that I am not dumb when I tell her I am dumb. The Blessed Mother has told me if I was truly dumb and didn’t know how to go about it, that would be something else. But she says I am doing precisely what I need to do. I told her I felt like a beggar in the Bible, and she said that it was fine that I was not ashamed to ask for help, because I always give help.

  And “give help” is the greatest understatement that I could imagine for this heroic lady and her “victim soul” daughter. They personify what higher awareness and spirituality truly mean. Their home is a pleasant sanctuary, a holy temple of u
nconditional love. The ancient Sufi saying, “If you don’t have a temple in your heart, you’ll never find your heart in a temple,” comes to mind when I enter their modest home and bask in the light of love that is there.

  In the heart of Kaye and in the heart of Edwarda, I see such a beautiful temple. I am quite certain that the Blessed Mother would concur.

  Applying the Lessons of

  the Blessed Mother

  The five key lessons that we can all learn and apply from this chapter on the Blessed Mother, from my perspective, include:

  1. The power of faith is incalculable. If you have an inner knowing that cannot be shaken, regardless of how tragic the outer circumstances seem to be, you will gain the strength to handle all of the challenges of your life. By looking past what we see with our eyes, and perceive the grander purpose that is offered us with our minds, we can not only handle the difficult times, but we can begin to bless them and be thankful for all that we are gaining from these struggles.

  2. Divine guidance is available to us at all times. It seems to me that the appearance of the Blessed Mother to the O’Bara family reinforces the idea that we are not alone. When we know who walks beside us at all times, and when we have this knowing go beyond a mere belief to a place where all doubt has been banished, we have the opportunity to see divine guidance reveal itself to us.

  The idea of guardian angels is not new by any means, but most of us think that those angels are only available to a select few. Your faith in divine guidance and that inner knowing can put you into conscious contact with guidance from beyond this physical world.

  3. There are other dimensions to life than the material world. The Blessed Mother’s visits reveal that there is much more to life than physical reality. There is a dimension of reality that transcends our senses. There is a life beyond the world of the changing. It is accessible to us unless we close the doors with our own limited perceptions.

  We must get quiet, and go within to gain access to these other spiritual dimensions. The force that allows it all to stay together is unconditional love. The more love you have for yourself and are willing to extend outward unconditionally, the more likely you are to know the power and bliss of the energy that is the Blessed Mother.

  4. The power of prayer is immense in providing us with strength. Take time each day to pray, as Kaye has done throughout her long journey with Edwarda’s silence. Give yourself the inner conviction that there is more to this experience than your mind tells you. The power of prayer is well documented in Larry Dossey’s book, Healing Words. Even scientists are beginning to encourage prayer in the healing process. Kaye and Edwarda’s story gives us fresh evidence that prayer creates peace during times that are perceived by our physical selves as tragic.

  5. We all have a purpose. Perhaps the greatest lesson that is to be learned from the appearance of the Blessed Mother is the revelation concerning the victim soul. It reinforces the fact that we all have a heroic mission to accomplish on this journey, and that we have a choice to make about it as well.

  Edwarda is doing her work in her way. We may not all understand it or even like it, but nevertheless, it is in divine order. So too are you making a choice about your life each and every day. If you want to feel purposeful, then begin allowing the sacred part of you that wants you to be peaceful to triumph over the ego-mind that often keeps you in a state of turmoil and dis-ease.

  This is the third of the three main characters in A Promise Is a Promise. The Blessed Mother continues to play a dominant role in both Kaye and Edwarda’s daily lives.

  In the fourth chapter, Marcelene will share with you, as the mother of seven children, her own unique perspective of her association with Kaye and her family. The fifth and final chapter is devoted to some of the miracles that have taken place around these three divine beings.

  Edwarda as an infant

  Colleen, Joe, and Edwarda in 1959

  Edwarda (right) and Colleen in 1958

  Edwarda (right) and Colleen as young girls

  Edwarda in her dance-recital costume

  Edwarda in her cap and gown

  Kaye and Edwarda in 1979, nine years into her coma

  Edwarda and Wayne

  Edwarda and Marcelene

  Edwarda, Wayne, and Kaye

  Edwarda, Colleen, Wayne, Kaye, and Marcelene

  Chapter Four

  A Mother’s

  Point of View

  (by Marcelene Dyer)

  “Be not ashamed, woman…You are the gates of the body,

  and you are the gates of the soul.”

  —Walt Whitman

  I am Marcelene Dyer, the wife of Wayne Dyer—the love of my life and a man I greatly respect and admire. He so generously asked me to share my thoughts in this book, A Promise Is a Promise. I pray my words bring honor to him and the O’Baras. All are richly deserving.

  Never have I seen Wayne so moved, so deeply interested, as he was the morning in December of 1995 when he gave me a newspaper article he had just read. It was a story about Kaye O’Bara and her comatose daughter, Edwarda.

  Wayne was astounded by this story of a mother who, for the last 26 years, lovingly cared for her daughter who lay in a coma in her parents’ bedroom. This care included feedings every two hours, around the clock. He said, “This woman wakes up every night in two-hour increments. That’s been going on for over a quarter of a century. She must be a saint.”

  Once Wayne said to me, “I don’t do enough. I don’t do enough giving outside of our families. I have to start doing more.” God may have been listening, because this man is today doing everything he can think of to help this family.

  Arrangements were made for Wayne to meet the family, and he asked me to join him. I wasn’t worried about seeing a woman, only a few years younger than myself, in a coma. I just kept thinking how sad for the family, and that the time element of 26 years was such a long time to be in that state. My own faith was quick to respond to these thoughts with the words: “God’s will be done. God had special reasons.” With these thoughts in mind, we arrived at the O’Bara home.

  Meeting Kaye O’Bara was like a breath of fresh air. She is joy and laughter and love and wisdom tucked wonderfully inside her 68-yearold form. We brought her some gifts of food, and she was genuinely appreciative. Most of all, she was truly tickled to meet Wayne Dyer.

  She told me she has written to sports figures, radio personalities, priests, mayors, lots of famous people, and even the President. Kaye confided, “It’s funny, because I can write to anyone for help with Edwarda, but when I received the book Real Magic that he [Wayne] sent me, I couldn’t write to him. I don’t know why. My friends told me to call him, too.

  “Finally, at the bottom of a thank-you letter that my niece Pam wrote, I invited him to come down to meet us. That’s something I’ve never done before either. People call and say they’re coming over, and I say all right, but you people are the first I’ve asked to visit us.”

  As Kaye was telling me this, I wondered if Wayne’s desire to do more for others, and to help Kaye with her financial needs, was orchestrated by God. In my life, I’ve discovered that when I surrender my ego and allow God to use me, marvelous adventures of love and hope enter my world. This was to be one of those times.

  Suddenly Kaye said, “Come! I want you to meed Edwarda.” Down the hall we went into her bedroom. The television was on, and Edwarda was facing the screen. “I leave the TV on when I leave the room,” Kaye explained, “in case she wakes up. I don’t want her to think she’s all alone.” Then she turned off the set as we approached the hospital-like bed where Edwarda was lying.

  As I got closer, I noticed a beautiful scent. It was lovely. Then I saw Edwarda’s long, 20-inch braids tied with purple ribbons. As I walked to the side of the bed to see her face, I was surprised to see her eyes open. She was awake and very peaceful. I touched her arm and was so happy to feel such soft, smooth skin. She was so well cared for by Kaye.

  I heard Kaye saying, “Ed
warda, you have company. This is Dr. Wayne Dyer and his wife, Marcelene.” To us, she said, “This is my baby, Edwarda.” Wayne and I said hello to her.

  There was no sadness here. Nothing even close to it. There were get-well cards sitting on the window sills; gifts of rosaries and crosses adorned the shelves. Angel dolls and angel pins sat here and there. Framed photos of the family hung on the walls. Books and a stereo were in the room.

  I asked Kaye where she slept, and she happily replied, “Right here beside Edwarda. I sleep here.” It was a chair that opened to a narrow bed. So narrow, in fact, that she couldn’t roll over or else she’d fall off. But this didn’t phase Kaye. She was where she was needed—beside her daughter.

  Oddly enough, Wayne and I both automatically spoke to Edwarda telepathically. I know I didn’t even think about it. I simply began talking to her with my thoughts. I told Edwarda that I was honored to meet her and her mother. Edwarda was looking to my right. Then I began telepathically telling her that I received much joy from being the mother of seven children. Suddenly, Edwarda was looking deep into my eyes. Her stare was the most penetrating of any I have ever experienced. She saw me, I’m sure of it.

  As I stepped back, I heard Wayne say to Kaye, “I feel she can see me. Tell me about her coma.” He had felt a recognition, too.

  Kaye told us that when Edwarda first went into the coma on January 3, 1970, it was very deep. Her eyes would not shut, her tongue thrust out of her mouth, and there were many serious, life-threatening emergencies in those first few months. Then she stabilized. Kaye believes Edwarda is at level nine now. She explained this would be parallel to where we are each morning when it is time to wake up, but we want to stay asleep.