Glow

by Joss Stirling

  ‘Sir?’

  ‘I have no idea. I have nowhere to go.’

  That was one rough night.

  Meri struggled to open her eyes. Her mouth was dry and her head ached. She’d not felt like this since she made the mistake of trying Valerie’s hedgerow wine at a summer barbecue. ‘Theo?’ She sat up, letting the bedclothes fall from her. The room was rocking. Oh yeah, she was onboard the yacht. For a moment she had dreamed she was back in London in the little flat in Wimbledon she shared with Theo. ‘Kel, where are you?’

  He must be up already.

  Swinging her legs over the side of the bunk, she got to her feet and found her balance.

  He was probably jogging the circuit of the deck like he did most mornings. Didn’t she have another meeting to attend? She picked up her wristwatch, an old windup one Kel had bought her at a market in northern France when they realized they were both without phones. They had been allowed ashore to wander through the narrow streets of the port while the yacht loaded some more supplies and they’d found the little stall of junk. Kel had kissed her as he presented it to her—a sweet moment she knew she would always treasure. She’d got him one too and repeated the gesture.

  It took her a moment to focus on the Roman numerals. Ten already. Why hadn’t anyone woken her up? She staggered to the bathroom and splashed water on her face. This heaviness didn’t feel natural. Was she coming down with something? After the first few days, she hadn’t felt any motion sickness. Had she picked up a bug?

  She stared at her reflection. Her face wasn’t flushed—rather pale if anything. Her eyes were dull, the opposite of the glow that had so freaked her out yesterday. She and Kel really had to talk about that. They couldn’t just pretend it might not come back. Perhaps there would be a doctor on Atlantis who could advise her how to control it so she didn’t need to be scared that she would hurt Kel? There had to be a way of conquering it.

  After cleaning her teeth, Meri was able to throw off some of the heaviness that weighed on her. She rubbed her face vigorously and went back into the cabin. A jog around the deck was a great idea. The meeting had waited this long; another twenty minutes wouldn’t matter.

  As she crossed to her wardrobe, she saw a note resting on the round coffee table in the seating area. Kel’s writing. Smiling, she moved to pick it up. They’d not exchanged sappy notes since London.

  Dear Meri,

  I am so sorry. I can’t stay with you. I’ll never be allowed to land on Atlantis so I have to go before it is too late. We both know this in our hearts. We’ve just been pretending we could fight hard enough and all would be well. It won’t be. Please forgive me for leaving you now but I don’t have a choice. We aren’t our own people: you owe a duty to the Teans, and I still belong to the Perilous. I guess we were fooling ourselves that our love would be able to last in the Tean world.

  I’m sorry.

  Kel

  Meri dropped the note and sank to the floor. No, no, this couldn’t be happening. She wouldn’t let it.

  Springing up, she ran to the bridge still dressed in her pyjamas.

  ‘Turn the ship around!’ she ordered. ‘We’ve got to go back for Kel!’ Why had he panicked now? Why hadn’t he said anything?

  No one at the controls looked surprised by her sudden entrance. Derwent was talking to the captain, Ben and Francis standing to one side, expressions grim. Meri was conscious that she was one young person in a room of more senior men and women who only obeyed her because they decided to, not because they had to do so.

  ‘I’m afraid I can’t do that, Miss Marlowe,’ said the captain. ‘I don’t know where the Perilous was put ashore. He told the crew who took him to leave him on a beach. They don’t know which one or which town he was heading for when they parted.’

  Meri wanted to thump him. ‘Turn around now!’

  ‘Meri, he’s gone,’ said Francis quietly. ‘Don’t make this worse than it already is.’

  ‘You were part of this? You let him go?’ Her sense of betrayal deepened.

  ‘Of course. It was the only thing Kel could do. He showed great courage making the decision for you.’

  ‘It wasn’t the only way. I could’ve gone with him. He knew that!’

  ‘And lived how—and on what? You have a duty to your people. He knows you have a fortune waiting for you. He didn’t want to spoil that for you.’

  ‘I don’t care about money or duty. I care about him.’

  Ben moved forward, trying to calm her. ‘And he cares about you, Lil'chick. That’s real love right there: letting go when he knows he can’t have you.’

  ‘Please turn around.’ Meri clenched her fists. ‘Please. I order you. Derwent, do it!’

  Derwent nodded to Ben. ‘Take Miss Marlowe back to her quarters. She’s distraught.’

  Ben reached for her but Meri backed away. ‘Don’t touch me.’ She walked to the cabin, each step feeling like there was broken glass under her bare feet.

  ‘Meri, he would’ve stayed if there was any way this could be made to work,’ said Ben plaintively.

  She shut the door in his face.

  Someone had picked up the note while she was gone and put out clothes for her. They hadn’t done that before. They’d offered her a servant when she first came on board but she had refused because she hadn't wanted Kel to feel even more uncomfortable than he already did with a third person hovering around.

  ‘I don’t need a servant; I need Kel,’ she told the empty room.

  Numb, she went to the window and leant her forehead against it. The parallel tracks from the bow stretched behind the yacht.

  Why?

  The events of the day before replayed in her mind. He’d been OK until the kiss, then he’d gone quiet on her. The evidence seemed to point to that being the moment for him when everything changed. Had he concluded that they weren’t good together, that she was a danger?

  She might well be. She just didn’t know.

  It didn’t make sense. Surely he would’ve told her to her face if he’d decided that they had to part?

  A soft tap stirred her from her miserable thoughts. ‘Yes?’

  Francis came in. ‘I’m sorry, Meri. I know this isn’t how you wanted it to end.’

  She touched her face, recalling the strange hungover feeling. ‘Did someone drug me?’

  ‘We thought it best.’

  ‘We?’

  ‘All of us. Kel wanted to get away without upsetting you.’

  ‘Kel did this? No, no, he wouldn’t.’

  ‘It wasn’t his idea but he saw that it was a good strategy when he worked out how you would react to him getting in a boat and going ashore. He was worried you’d hurt yourself.’

  Meri didn’t want to believe him but if there were two people on the ship whom she trusted it was Francis and Ben, her first Tean Sympathizer friends, along with Francis’ wife, Mabel. ‘A good idea?’

  ‘It was really difficult for him. If there had been any other way, he’d have taken it.’

  Francis sounded like he was telling the truth, and it fitted with what Kel had written in his note, but somehow she just couldn’t believe it happened like that. ‘He left me.’

  ‘Yes, but, Meri, maybe it would’ve always come to this moment? He was just seeing things for what they are. You are both on your first serious relationship from what I gather. For you, of course it feels like a matter of life and death. Those of us who have been around a little longer know that life goes on even with a broken heart. Time mends that too. You’ll both survive to be happy, but just not together. That was never really on the cards and we all tried to tell you.’

  He was wrong. ‘I want to speak to him. I won’t believe anything you say until you let me speak to him.’ She dug her nails into her palms.

  ‘You have his note.’

  ‘But I don’t know if he wrote that freely. You’ve all been trying to get us apart. Cabot tried to murder him. Oh my God, Kel’s dead, isn’t he?’ Panic flared. Suddenly all extremes seemed
possible.

  ‘You think we held a gun to his head as he wrote that note, then killed him?’

  ‘Maybe.’

  ‘Meri?’ Francis looked so hurt by the suggestion, Meri had to back down.

  ‘No, no, I don’t think that really.’ She didn’t, did she? ‘But I want to talk to him. This isn’t right. This isn’t how it’s meant to be.’

  ‘I swear to you he is alive and well but he doesn’t have a phone and we don’t know where he is in France. He has a better idea where you are, though, and can find a Tean Sympathizer colony to help him pass on any message. If he wants to, he’ll get in touch.’

  ‘You’ll put any call—any note—straight through to me?’ She was clutching at straws. She could feel Kel getting further and further away as the yacht sailed remorselessly onwards.

  ‘I promise. But I don’t think you should hold out hope for that. He wanted to make it a clean break.’

  ‘This isn’t a clean break.’ She picked up a jumper Kel had worn yesterday and hugged it to her. ‘This is a messy, compound fracture, and if I find any of you had any part in this—if you forced him in some way—then I’ll never forgive you.’

  ‘So be it. We were all doing what we thought was best for you.’ Francis gave her a nod and walked out, closing the door behind him.

  4

  Meri stared at herself in the mirror. The face looking back at her was hollow-cheeked, lips dry. She had been living on the energy generated by her love for Kel, putting up with the shocks of leaving her home, losing her guardian and friends, all because she had him with her. He had been her home, her anchor. She had convinced herself that together they could conquer the world, now she felt crushed by it.

  Get over yourself, Meri, she told her reflection fiercely. Could you be any more pathetic? This won’t get him back.

  She tried applying a little blue eyeliner to bring a sparkle to her eyes. She didn't want to appear weak to the council. The result was pitiful. She looked more ‘kicked puppy’ than ‘young heir to a fortune’. Meri had never thought of herself as pretty, rating herself as just passable among her peers. The strained face looking back at her told her she had dipped into plain and was heading straight for ugly.

  What did that matter? She no longer had anyone she wanted to impress that way. The harsh bathroom light did make her wonder if Kel had been able to leave because she just wasn’t that special to him? Everyone had been telling her teen relationships had a short shelf life. Had she mistaken her feelings for a grand romance when in fact it had been a clichéd crush?

  No, Kel had loved her—he still did. It hadn’t been about anything as superficial as looks. They’d connected at a deep level, been each other’s soulmates. She had to believe that or she would go crazy. That voice in her head making her doubt him? That was just the bad stuff that came out when she was down. She should cut it off like a spam caller. Their love for each other was real. If he had truly left of his own accord—the jury was still out on that—then he had done so because he loved her, not because he had changed.

  She slapped her cheeks. ‘OK, Meri, game face.’ She exited the bathroom and found her cabin attendant straightening the covers on her bunk.

  ‘Everything all right, miss?’ The maid, Leah, was a willowy girl of about nineteen, almost six feet tall. Her family was originally from Somalia but they had been loyal retainers to the Teans for generations without having a drop of Tean blood themselves. Meri couldn’t understand what motivated them. They had so many other options. Dark with short black hair outlining the perfect sculpture of her head, Leah was quite stunning. Sometimes Meri just wanted to beg her to stop for a moment so she could sketch her but so far she had resisted.

  ‘What do you think, Leah? Do I look as if everything is OK?’ She had to stop this sarcasm with her maid. This wasn’t Leah’s fault.

  ‘You look a little pale. You’re missing the Perilous, miss? You’re missing Kel?’ At least Leah didn’t say the name like she was chewing a bug.

  ‘Yes.’ Meri couldn’t manage another word without screaming.

  ‘He’ll be fine.’ Leah plumped up the cushions on the window seat. To others, Meri’s big heartbreak was a minor matter, something they only gave thirty seconds of thought, if that. ‘He’s safer in France than he would be in Atlantis.’

  That much was true. ‘You’ve been there?’

  ‘I was born on Atlantis. My parents have always served the Teans, keeping the palace in order until you returned.’

  ‘Wow, you’ve been waiting for the king to return like in The Lord of the Rings. You should all get out more. The Steward of Gondor went a little screwy.’ Meri regretted her quip as soon as she made it. It wouldn’t help if her bitterness turned any potential allies against her. ‘Sorry, that was uncalled for.’

  Leah’s expression was commiserating rather than reproving. ‘It’s OK, Miss, we of the household know you don’t understand yet. You will when you get there. You’ll see why we sacrificed ourselves to keep Tean culture alive. History tells us who we are—that’s worth saving. It’s so rare in life that you get the chance to stand up for something that matters, don't you think?’

  ‘I hope you’re right because just now it doesn’t feel worth all this pain.’

  Meri left the cabin and went to the conference room. The council were waiting for her. In deference to her feelings, they had postponed all meetings for two days so she could recover from losing Kel. That made her want to vomit, preferably over them. A lifetime wouldn’t be long enough.

  They stood up as she entered. She went to her seat at the head of the table and sat down, giving them the signal to take their places.

  ‘Tea? Coffee?’ asked the steward, arriving silently at her shoulder.

  ‘Just water—as long as it isn’t drugged.’

  The steward flinched. No one said anything while he poured the water into a cut glass tumbler. He put the carafe within reach.

  ‘Anything else, sir?’ he asked Derwent.

  ‘No, we’re good, John. Thank you.’

  The steward retired, leaving Meri alone with the council. She was damned if she was going to be the first to speak.

  ‘Miss Marlowe, we arrive tomorrow night. Our recommendation is that you disembark immediately and the yacht sails on in case anyone on the Perilous side is tracking us by satellite. Its home port is Gibraltar. It can go there and confuse any pursuit.’

  So they weren’t going to mention what had happened, were they? She nodded. What did she care if the yacht came or went?

  ‘There will be a reception in your honour at the palace so formal clothes are advised.’

  ‘And here was I thinking I’d rock up in jeans and a T-shirt.’

  He ignored her. ‘We took the precaution of bringing some with us. You’ll meet the rest of the council and the regent.’

  ‘Regent?’

  ‘The three-quarter blood Tean who has been ruling in your place.’

  Kel had taken her to task for not delving deep enough into Tean politics. Now was her chance. ‘Regent—that’s like a ruler in place of a king, isn’t it?’ She hadn’t realized they went in for a monarchical system but that figured seeing how old their culture claimed to be. ‘What’s his name?’

  ‘Rio Cruz.’

  ‘A few more details would be helpful.’

  Derwent didn’t seem willing to share the facts, which made her all the more eager to hear them. ‘He’s an orphan that we discovered living with the refugee communities of Central America.’

  ‘Go on.’ She flicked through the papers in front of her, pretending not to be too interested in what he had to say.

  ‘Our operatives rescued him from Guatemala when he was five. Rio had a full-blood father and a mother with one Tean parent, making him three-quarters Tean.’

  ‘He’s been trained to rule since he was five?’

  ‘He’s Regent, not ruler. Only a full-blood has ever been able to hold the throne. He was only trained for high office from five, and for t
he position of regent when the others in the line of succession were lost.’

  ‘There’s a throne?’ Her suspicions were confirmed. Had they taken a good look at her? She wasn’t monarch material.

  ‘It’s an expression mainly, but yes, there’s a throne in the throne room.’

  ‘Of course there is.’

  ‘And a crown and other regalia. Historic pieces.’

  ‘I’ve been living in England since I was four. I know the trappings of monarchy.’

  Derwent bristled. ‘Ours is much older than the House of Windsor. The British monarchy only dates back to the Norman Conquest, around a thousand years ago. Tean monarchy began before recorded history, before the pyramids were built.’

  ‘I’m surprised it has lasted so long.’

  ‘It’s now down to you as the last flowering twig on a minor branch who never expected to rule.’

  Meri rubbed her chest. If she had not known that it was anatomically impossible, she would’ve said she had a hole where her heart had once been. ‘Just me, one pathetic little twig. But we can’t be sure. There might be other white rhinos out there.’

  ‘White rhinos?’ asked Francis.

  ‘My way of thinking of myself, an endangered species. You know that a population of one isn’t sustainable? I’m the end of the line. You’re going to have to change your qualifications for the top job.’ And if there were others like her, what then?

  ‘We’re, of course, looking for other full-bloods but you were the first to come back to us. You’re young. There’s time,’ said Derwent.

  ‘Time for what?’

  ‘To re-establish the royal house and begin a new generation. If not with full-bloods then we’ll settle for the closest we have to that.’

  Meri was not slow to join the dots. ‘You see a…a match between me and this Rio if you can’t find someone else?’ No wonder they had been so keen to get rid of Kel. Her whole body revolted at the idea.

  ‘Ideally. There’s every chance you’ll like each other. He’s only a few years older and I understand that the ladies find him charming. Let’s not worry about that now. First, let’s see how you get on when you are introduced to your people.’