Lady Gouldian

by Read, Calia

  I was caught so quickly, I cannot turn my back on the trio as though I didn’t see them.

  “Hello, Mr. Calhoun,” Serene says none too quietly.

  Like a little boy with his hand caught in the cookie jar, I walk over to the three of them. “Good afternoon ladies,” I greet, and dip my head in their direction.

  I keep my eyes trained on a spot between Serene and Rainey. I can see Nat from the corner of my eye, but she’s out of focus. It’s best she stays that way.

  “What brings the three of you to…” My mind freezes because I can’t think of the name of this business for the life of me. I don’t exactly make it a habit of frequenting this store in my spare time. “To this establishment?”

  “The better question is, what brings you to this establishment?” Serene asks with a challengingly tone.

  “Ah… Juliet wanted to stop in and have a look around.”

  The silence that follows my answer is deafening. Rainey and Serene appear visibly uncomfortable, ready to end the conversation and shepherd Nat away from me.

  I take that moment to look at her, only to find her hazel eyes regarding me with a hidden strength that makes me flinch.

  She used to show her emotions so clearly in her eyes. You didn’t have to try hard or think long to understand what she was feeling. But with this Nathalie, everything is locked away. I can’t see an ounce of emotion in her beautiful eyes. Just my cowardly reflection and all the mistakes I’ve made between the two of us.

  With my eyes, I silently apologize for everything. This is not where either one of us ever thought we would be, wordlessly facing each other.

  “Oh, Asa, there you are. I’ve been lookin-” Juliet’s soft voice fades as her blue eyes take in Nathalie. Her steps become cautious as she approaches me.

  Nat, Serene, and Rainey watch her closely. If I had enough time, I would warn Juliet to turn the other way. With Serene and Rainey, Juliet doesn’t stand a chance. Hell, with the way Nat’s looking at her, I think she could easily join Serene and Rainey. It is further proof that I know nothing about the Nat only steps away from me.

  Juliet reaches me and tucks her hand into my arm.

  Nat flinches at the action. I have no damn right to feel a sense of satisfaction by her reaction, but I do. There’s still a part of her that cares.

  I look toward my new wife. “Juliet, I believe you know everyone.”

  Juliet dips her head and smiles shyly.

  As our circle of four now becomes one of five, we stand there, looking at one another and try our best to ignore what occurred just two weeks earlier.

  “Congratulations again on your nuptials,” Rainey says, rather desperately.

  “Thank you,” Juliet softly replies.

  “And you went to Venice, was it?” Serene asks.

  Juliet nods.

  “How is it this time of year?” Serene persists.

  “Quite lovely,” Juliet replies.

  Nat, who has always been kind and open to everyone, is quiet. She stands back, observing Juliet with a shrewdness that would make Étienne proud. She’s not overly pronounced with her scrutiny or given to disdain. Her approach of understanding Juliet is the quintessential Lacroix method: say nothing. Watch everything.

  I’d seen Étienne wear the same expression before he rejected or accepted a business offer.

  “I saw a dress that would go beautifully with your coloring and your blonde hair,” Serene says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  “That’s quite kind of you, but it’s not necessary. I just looked at dresses upstairs.”

  “Oh, but I promise you didn’t see this dress because if you did, you wouldn’t want to ever take it off. Come. Come, come!” Serene coaxes.

  Without giving Juliet a choice, Serene guides her toward the opposite direction of the store. The entire time Serene talks about Europe and all the places Juliet and I must visit if we ever get the chance again.

  Facing Nat, I see Rainey is still standing beside her. She looks between the two of us with wide eyes. She doesn’t want to be standing here anymore than Serene did.

  She holds her bare hands out, before she flips her palms up. “Well, look at that. I must go find a new pair of gloves. If you’ll excuse me.” Rainey bolts in the direction of the front of the store, leaving me and Nat to face one another.

  The last time we were face to face, with no one to interrupt us, was over five years ago. Throughout that time, I would think of her daily and what I might say to her, if given the chance.

  I pieced together her new life in Savannah with the information I received from her family. It was pathetic, really, how I would wait to hear her name mentioned in a conversation. I was a starving man, waiting for any morsel I could get.

  Now that she is standing in front of me, hunger to know everything that I missed claws at my stomach. I want to hear it from her mouth.

  “Why did you show up?”

  Nat has kept her eyes trained on the hat in her hand. But the moment I blurt my question, her head jerks up. “I-”

  “What were you goin’ to say?” I prod.

  Swallowing, she tilts her head back to meet my gaze, exposing the column of her neck. Never has exposed skin looked so tempting.

  Her mouth opens and closes several times. I lean in as I wait for her answer, but immediately, I feel the charge of awareness between us. I’ve never understood my response or why it’s with her.

  Nat swallows and her mouth parts. Instinctively, my eyes move to her lips. My own mouth becomes dry, and my hands become clenched into tight fists.

  I could kiss her in the middle of a dress shop and without a single care in the world.

  “Asa, I’m ready to go.” At the sound of Juliet’s voice, I step back. I look over my shoulder at her. She smiles at me, while handing a dress to the cashier. “Serene was right. This dress is lovely.”

  I smile, but I know it’s strained. My God, what the hell is wrong with me? “I’ll be right there.”

  When I face forward, Nat’s gone.

  CHAPTER FIVE

  Nathalie

  “CLAIBORNE AND CALHOUN MEET AGAIN!”

  Serene reads the headline over the breakfast table with a dramatic flair that has me dropping my face in my palms. Customarily, I would love to listen to these trivial articles filled with fluff and tales. But those tales have never involved me. “Please stop,” I beg.

  “Please go on. I’m curious to hear what this article says,” Étienne, of all people, says.

  My hands drop to the table. I stare at him with a look of betrayal. “You despise most gossip columns. You once told me it would cause perfectly good brain cells to wither away.”

  Étienne lifts a shoulder and takes a sip of his coffee. “I know. But these articles have become rather inventive. Just yesterday, Serene read one that said inside your valise was a rope to tie Asa’s hands together if he said no.”

  My eyes widen in shock. “Truly?”

  Étienne nods, slams his palm on the table and laughs. “What fools! They don’t realize you don’t even know how to make a proper knot.”

  “You would presume the people of Charleston would have better things to speak of,” I remark.

  Étienne wags a finger at me. “You presumed wrong.”

  I didn’t anticipate the gossip to linger this long. It’s been almost three weeks since I objected to Asa’s marriage, and one week since I saw him at Madame Bourgeois. I’ve been doing my best to keep to myself, but the times when I did go into town, I could feel the stares, hear the echoes of whispered words as people walked by me. I felt spurned by the very people that once accepted me with open arms.

  And yet, even confronted with their rejection, I still didn’t have regrets.

  Except for one. That I didn’t come sooner. But if I did, would I have been able to boldly face Asa the way I did at the church?

  I couldn’t be sure. I merely have to embrace this new reality of mine and ready myself for the next time I see Asa and Juliet
.

  I’d rather be rejected by the upper echelon of Charleston society a thousand times over than see the two of them together.

  He made his choice. I have to find a way to accept it.

  “Asa Calhoun and his new bride, Juliet, returned from Europe a week ago and already trouble is a foot,” Serene reads. “Rumor has it that Asa and his new bride had an uncomfortable run-in with his spurned lover.”

  “Spurned lover?” Étienne interjects. At once, a fierce scowl alters his face and the edges of the jagged scar that starts at his forehead and runs down to his right brow is red, a clear sign he’s becoming angry.

  Serene blindly reaches out and pats his hand before she continues, “We can confirm the five of them spoke, although we cannot substantiate what was said. One can only imagine what was said among the three of them. Better yet, what one can imagine the exchange between Claiborne and Calhoun was…”

  Serene lowers the paper and shrugs. “Well, they are half-way right. You did speak to him, but I wouldn’t say you did with Juliet.”

  “Are we goin’ to discuss the ‘spurned lover’ title they gave Nathalie?”

  Once again, Serene shrugs. “I mean, if you want to, sure.”

  Étienne throws his hands in the air. “It isn’t true. Nathalie has never been a spurned lover, least of all Asa’s.”

  “Of course,” Serene agrees at once.

  When I don’t answer, Étienne slowly turns his head in my direction. He arches a brow. “Right?”

  What someone doesn’t know will not hurt them. Imagine if we walked around speaking the truth like driftless givers of doom. People would stay inside, lock the doors, and never venture outside. None of us have hearts strong enough to carry the truth.

  My brother doesn’t need the truth anymore than I need it. I give him the faintest of smiles. “Of course.”

  For a long moment, Étienne observes me. He’s always had the acute ability to determine when I’m lying.

  But I’ve never wanted to protect the truth and my heart more than I do right now.

  Serene meets my gaze, and quickly looks away, almost appearing uncomfortable to keep eye contact. Discreetly, I hide my hands on my lap to conceal how badly they’re shaking. Even after all these years, she has kept the truth to herself. She could’ve told Étienne at any point, but she didn’t. It is why I love Serene. She will always have my confidence, as a friend and a sister.

  Serene loudly clears her throat. “Nat, now that you’re here, I’ve been meaning to ask if you would take pictures of Alex and Trace?”

  Certainly not what I was expecting. But I’ll take the change in subject. “Photos?”

  Serene nods and leans in. “Of course. I know how much you love photography. You still have your Kodak, right?”

  Quickly, I avert my gaze. I can feel heat staining my cheeks. “I don’t believe I do.”

  “Why not? It was your prized possession when you lived here,” Étienne bluntly states.

  My face remains neutral as I look at the two of them. “I believe it became lost somewhere in Brignac House. I told myself I was goin’ to purchase another one, but…” I shrug. “There never seems to be time.”

  The two of them don’t say a word. They regard me with open confusion, as though I’m speaking a different language.

  “I no longer have my Kodak,” I slowly lie.

  Étienne clears his throat. “Since you lost it, I’ll have to get you a new one.”

  “That’s kind of you, but not necessary,” I say.

  “We insist,” Serene cuts in. “I know how passionate you are about photography. Consider this me and Étienne’s welcome home gift.”

  “No!” I burst out.

  Étienne’s eyes widen. Serene sits back in her seat. I take a deep breath before I continue. “I apologize. I forgot myself.” I give the two of them a smile. “I simply cannot take the gift from you because photography is no longer a pleasurable pastime of mine.”

  “What is then?” Serene asks.

  My answer isn’t good enough for Serene. As she waits for my reply, she openly watches me. I remember when she first came into our lives. She was precisely what we all needed, but never knew. Very swiftly, I forged a bond that I knew, deep in my soul, was a true friendship. I felt comfortable enough to confide in her and express my interest in photography. She was encouraging, sharing my excitement for my hobby.

  Right now, I can’t bear to look at her. I’ll see all my hopes and dreams reflected in her gaze, and I don’t want to be reminded of them. I don’t want her to know that I accomplished none of them.

  “Well, there is very little that brings me happiness,” I confess. I stare at the table and realize how truthful those words are. I’m a bundle of nerves, unable to sit still in one place for long because idleness leads to thoughts of the past, and I can’t dwell there. Serene might be onto something. However, to keep me occupied, it needs to be more than a hobby. It needs to exhaust me to where I think of nothing. From the corner of my eye, I spot the newspaper Étienne’s reading. It’s folded in half, but I can read one headline, RED CROSS NEEDS SEVERAL NURSES. Beneath, in smaller font, is, All Women Who Can Serve Asked To Telephone Their Addresses. I’m not a nurse. I don’t have the qualifications to be one, but that one headline gives birth to a big idea.

  Lifting my gaze from the newspaper, I look at Serene and Étienne and smile. “I’ve decided to get a job.”

  Abruptly, Étienne’s head snaps in my direction. “No, you’re not.”

  Serene stops eating and nearly drops her fork onto her plate. “Excuse me?”

  This wasn’t planned. But if it was, I couldn’t have thought of announcing it at a better time. Who better to have on my side than Serene? I cannot think of anyone that goes up against my brother, Étienne, the way she does. It’s inspiring and intimidating all at once. I don’t have it in me to be that way, although I wish I did. My heart races when people raise their voice. When I do become angry, it takes quite a lot to get me there, and even more to pull me out.

  “Please explain yourself,” Étienne says, pulling me out of my thoughts.

  Sitting up straight, I place my elbows on the table, abandoning all manners. And lean toward my brother. I look ready to make a business transaction with him, rather than to have a conversation. But I cannot help myself. For the first time in quite some time, I’m excited about something. I see potential, and more than that, I see hope.

  “I was ponderin’ Serene’s question about what’s a hobby of mine. I couldn’t give her an answer to that because the last few years have been…” Briefly, I look away. “Challengin’ at best, and I need somethin’ more than a hobby. I need a job. I need to be busy.”

  When I’m finished speaking, Serene’s nodding along, already in agreement as I knew she would be. Étienne, however, is a different story. His jaw is firmly set as he stares at me. His eyes are hard, unmoving. His gaze flicks to Serene before he gestures to me. “She’s not gettin’ a job.”

  “Why not?” Serene and I ask in unison.

  He looks between the two of us, unsure who he should answer. “There’s no need,” he finally says.

  “Durin’ the war, women had jobs as clerks, bookkeepers, nurses,” I remind him.

  “Do you see a war out there?” Étienne roars.

  Swallowing, I look away. “No.”

  Both Étienne and Serene stare at me for entirely different reasons. Étienne knows me. He knows how I despise conflict. He knows he’s about to win this battle. But Serene, she looks at me with eager, encouraging eyes, a gesture that says, ‘Go on. Don’t stop now.’

  I take a deep breath. “No, but I see one in here.”

  My brother narrows his eyes. “People work for money. Because it’s a necessity of life.”

  “Or for distraction,” Serene cuts in.

  I gesture to my sister-in-law. “That too.”

  Étienne narrows his eyes at his wife before he gives his attention back to me. “If you so desperately n
eed a distraction look over Alex and Trace. They will keep you distracted.

  “Étienne,” Serene warns. “Stop it.”

  “What? She needs a distraction. There’s a healthy distraction. Otherwise, the matter is closed. Nathalie doesn’t need a job, and I don’t want to hear of this work talk anymore.”

  Étienne is as stubborn as Daddy was. Nothing or no one is going to change my brother’s mind. It doesn’t matter how I explain this to him. He finds it to be an insult that I would work while under his roof. I am his family, and he will provide for me until his dying day. It has nothing to do with providing, though, and everything with preserving what little of my sanity I have left.

  I take a deep breath and come to another decision. “Fine. Then I will leave Belgrave.”

  Serene’s mouth opens in shock. She looks at Étienne, waiting for his response.

  He rubs his jaw, as though he’s doing everything in his power to contain his temper. “And pray tell where will you go?” he asks between clinched teeth.

  “There’s the Lacroix House.”

  In unison, Étienne and I turn in the direction of Serene. She freezes, mid-bite, and slowly lowers her bread. “What?”

  “Absolutely not!” Étienne nearly shouts. “Consider that recommendation rejected.”

  It’s not for me, though. I captured the suggestion as my own, the second the words were placed into the air. I never even thought about the Lacroix House. For quite some time, Livingston’s lived there. His name simply became synonymous with the Lacroix House.

  But I could live there.

  Livingston and Rainey would reside there after they married for a small period while they finished the final touches of their house. After that, Lacroix House could be all mine.

  The very idea that I can come and go as I please, without being under the watchful eye of anyone, sends a thrill through me. This opportunity presented in front of me is a fresh start and a new sense of freedom, exactly what I need.

  I don’t think I fully comprehended the word freedom until I lived at Brignac House. After my stay there, I realized how much in my life I took for granted.