Lady Gouldian

by Read, Calia

  Once again, I nodded. He gave me a hug. Asa Calhoun had never given me a hug. Although I had always wanted one from him. I never once thought it would be because of a tragedy. Right now, I was indifferent to everything. The pain festering inside of me was too great. To think I could have ever felt happiness before this agonizing ache seemed absurd.

  The Calhouns moved to the sitting room. My family stood there for several moments, and once we were certain no one else was coming, we adjourned to the sitting room.

  My feet remained rooted in place. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t see my parents and Julian.

  Suddenly, my breaths came in small gasps. Black spots began to fill my vision. I placed my hands on my knees as my body began to shake. Dimly, I heard Mamie say my name but I couldn’t answer. My mouth felt dry and my tongue was swollen.

  “What’s wrong?” Étienne asked, suddenly beside me.

  I lifted my head, saw most of my family and Asa looking at me with concern.

  “It all hurts. I cannot breathe properly,” I said between breaths.

  “Oh dear,” Mamie murmured.

  “Should we take her upstairs?” I heard Aunt Christine ask.

  “She cannot breathe,” Asa calmly stated. “She needs space.”

  Amid my panic, I nodded and clutched Asa’s arm for balance. He seemed to be the only one that understood me. I couldn’t breathe. That was all. And it hurt so badly.

  Asa patted my back. “Let’s go to the library. You don’t have to go into the sittin’ room.”

  I felt my heartbeat in my ears as we walked across the foyer, and my family’s voices of concern. Tremors continued to rock through me, and they only subsided once Asa shut the library doors.

  I sat down on one of the seats near the windows, and nearly sighed with relief from no longer having to stand. Asa didn’t say a word. He let me sit there as my breaths evened out.

  Once the black spots had cleared from my vision and the tremors had stopped, I looked around and inhaled a deep breath.

  “The sky is cryin’ right now,” Asa remarked.

  I looked toward one of the windows and saw the clear blue sky. “But it’s not rainin’,” I pointed out.

  “No, but it should be.”

  I nodded in agreement. Out of everything that had been said to me. That made the most sense. We stood there in silence. For once, I was comfortable with saying nothing. For once, there was nothing on my mind.

  “When I was terribly sad or overwhelmed as a young boy,” Asa started off slowly, “I would find a quiet, dark place to hide. It became an escape for me.”

  I soaked in his words with wide eyes. “And that helped?”

  “As best as it could. I could face what problems had come my way.”

  I nodded, grateful for the advice. “Thank you.”

  “You don’t need to thank me.” He looked down at me and gave me a rare Asa smile. If my heart was its regular beating self, it would have soared out of my chest. He glanced around the library, at the vast collection of books. “We can stay in here if you want. But if you want, I will go with you to the sittin’ room.”

  At the mere mention of the sitting room, my eyes widened. Asa quickly spoke up, “Nat, I know you’re scared and I know you’re in pain. But I don’t want you to regret not sayin’ good-bye to your family.” He looked away and rocked back on his feet. “I will be there the entire time. You will not be alone.”

  As broken as I felt, I knew there was truth to his words. I had to say good bye. I never dreamed it would be this hard.

  I carefully looked at him. “You promise not to leave?”

  “I promise.”

  I took a deep breath before I nodded. “I’ll go with you.”

  Asa held his hand out. I stood and curled my small hand in his. He looked down at me and nodded back. “I won’t leave you, all right? I will be with you the entire time.”

  CHAPTER TEN

  Nathalie

  “Hello. My name is Nathalie Claiborne, and I would like a job. No, no, no. That sounds all wrong.” I take a deep breath and turn on my heels. The sun beats down on me as I pace the sidewalk. “Hello, I’m Mrs. Claiborne and I would like to inquire about a job prospect.”

  “Personally, I liked the second introduction you gave fifteen minutes ago. ‘I’m Nat and I want a job.’”

  I stop and tilt my head to look at her. Just as Serene promised, she met me at the Lacroix House early this morning. She’s sitting on the edge of the sidewalk, with her elbows propped on her knees and her chin resting on her palms.

  “I didn’t say that introduction.”

  Serene wrinkles her nose. “You didn’t? I could’ve sworn you did.”

  “You’re supposed to support me.”

  “I am supporting you. I’m supporting you while you work up the nerve to go inside. Which, by the way, he will say yes.”

  I think he will, but I’m not certain. I just tried to break up his wedding, and during Alex’s birthday, it was noticeably clear we could hardly be in the same room as one another. I give the building to my left a long look. It is newly built, maybe here for only a year, at most. But it blends well with its historic surroundings. Belt-coursing punctuates the second story windows. There are Doric columns, adding a clean design to the portico above the entry. On the front doors is the Bell logo. Written inside the bell are the words, LOCAL AND LONG-DISTANCE TELEPHONE and wrapped around it is, AMERICAN TELEPHONE & TELEGRAPH CO. AND ASSOICATED COMPANIES.

  When I first arrived, the three-story structure with gray stucco was hardly imposing, but up close, it’s the source of all my fears as well as my dreams. I am terrified of failing. It’s far easier to walk away than to never try at all. “Maybe this is a bad idea,” I say as I begin to step away from the building.

  Serene jumps in my way and holds her hands out in front of her. “Hey, hey, hey. You’re not going anywhere.”

  “What if I’m not good enough?”

  “Don’t you dare say that. The greatest act of rebellion a woman can make is knowing her worth.”

  Exhaling a shaky breath, I nod and look into Serene’s eyes.

  “This is the best idea that you’ve had since you walked into that church and shouted ‘Wait!’” Her hands land on my arms, holding me in place. “So, you’re going to go in there, and you’re going to demand a job and if you don’t get a job, you’re going to burn the place down,” Serene states vehemently, nearly shaking me in the process.

  I veer back.

  Serene blinks rapidly and holds a hand up. “Whoa. The moment went straight to my head. Do not burn the place down.”

  “I wasn’t goin’ to.”

  Serene nods. “Good, good. But you’re going to get a job. Right?”

  Taking a deep breath, I nod. “Right.”

  “Then let’s go inside, shall we?”

  My sister-in-law gestures toward the steps, leading to the double doors. I take a deep breath and gather what little courage I have. “Let’s go.”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Asa

  “How has business been?”

  I tip my head to the glass windows to our left, and the mass of mostly women, and some men, bustling about. “You tell me.”

  Étienne grins. “I’m glad to see that.”

  “As am I,” I reply, but as I say the words, they fall flat. Since Alex’s birthday, I’ve been thinking of my conversation with Nat and the promise I made her. More than that, that damn hug won’t leave my mind. I think Nat was just as stunned as me when it happened, but I could feel the happiness coming off her in waves.

  For a brief second, she was my old Nat. In love with life. Her eyes shined as brightly as the sun, and desire shot through me, making blood rush through my veins. All I needed was her.

  Holding Nathalie in my arms was just like before. She fit perfectly against me; the top of her head reached my chest. But feeling and smelling her unlocked a part of me that’s been hidden away for years. I wanted Nathalie before, now I am insa
tiable.

  I want to eat her alive.

  Across from me, Étienne talks about work. And for the first time, I’m not invested. Rather, I’m thinking of his sister. Perhaps her coming here and interviewing for a job would be bad for both of us. Yet the idea of not being around her causes me to grip the edges of the armrests in a white-knuckle grip.

  If I can’t be with her, I need to at least see her.

  “Asa? Did you hear me?”

  Immediately, I lower my hands and sit up straight in my chair. I feel like a child with his hand caught in the cookie jar. I shake my head ever so slightly. “I apologize. I was thinkin’ of business matters I need to attend to.”

  Étienne grins. “Quite all right. Speakin’ of business, we should discuss your role at EAL.”

  My gut twists at the very mention. I knew this conversation was only a matter of time, but I was avoiding it. I think both Étienne and I were avoiding it. My position with EAL Corporation is something I’m rather proud of. Étienne may have started the company, but I’ve been there from its infancy.

  “Your time with Southern Bell is time consumin’,” Étienne remarks.

  Leaning back in my chair, I contemplate the weight of his words. “Is this your approach to tellin’ me I’m no longer needed?”

  “Not in the slightest,” Étienne quickly answers. “This is me sayin’ you are overburdened.”

  “Fully steppin’ back from EAL would be incredibly hard for me,” I confess.

  Étienne nods with understanding. “I understand. I don’t expect you to completely step back. But I think we should begin to search for someone to fill your position. You will still be part of the company. Still consulted when we need your advice, which I’m certain will be often.”

  Standing from my chair, I make my way to the windows overlooking the first floor. Everything is in working order. I have all under control here. I could keep my role at EAL. Yet even as I think the arrangement through, I know it’s impossible. I cannot keep both.

  I sigh heavily. “I believe you’re right.”

  “As I said, you still play an intricate role in EAL. And this isn’t a transition that will happen overnight. I have people in mind, but we should interview them, and then we need to train them for your position.”

  I nod and continue to stare straight ahead when a flash of red catches the corner of my eye. Walking up the steps is none other than Serene, with Nat by her side.

  Frowning, I look over my shoulder at Étienne. “I didn’t know you brought Serene and Nat along.”

  Immediately, Étienne stands and walks to where I’m standing. “I didn’t.” His brows connect the second he spots the two of them.

  “Son of a bitch,” he mutters before he heads toward the door.

  Instinctively, I do the first thing that I’ve always done when one of Nat’s brothers loses his patience with her. I come to her defense. “Étienne, don’t.”

  Étienne turns and flings a hand toward my door. “She’s here for a job.”

  “I know.”

  He stops and looks over his shoulder at me. “You know?”

  I nod.

  “How? When?”

  I breathe deep; I knew I would have to explain myself to Étienne at some point. “Nathalie spoke with me at Alex’s birthday party about havin’ a job interview.”

  “And you said yes?”

  “There’s no harm in givin’ her one. I told her she would have a fair interview as the rest of the ladies.”

  I can feel the weight of Étienne’s glare. “She doesn’t need this job.”

  Abruptly, I turn to my best friend, my conversation with Nat echoing in my head. “Perhaps she needs this far more than you think she does,” I bite out.

  Étienne appears ill-equipped for my words, but he still squares his shoulders and faces me. “What did she tell you?”

  “She didn’t say a word to me, Étienne. She just said she wanted a job.”

  But if she did, I’d take her secrets to the grave.

  As much as I consider Étienne a brother, I’m protective of my conversations with Nat. More so now than ever. She’s different from before, and when she confessed she needed this job, I saw the pain in her eyes. It was a punch to the gut. Was I the cause for that or did it go much further? Did the pain stem from her time in Savannah? Even then, one could say I caused her pain there as well.

  Frustrated, Étienne stalks to the door and rips it open. He leans out and points to his sister and Serene who continue to speak in the hall. “Come here,” he demands.

  Rather than jump at his beck and call, his wife mimics his actions. “You. Learn some manners.”

  The corner of my mouth kicks up, as I watch Étienne breathe deeply through his nose. “Serene, please come here.”

  “Well, since you asked nicely.”

  Serene walks over, but Nat stubbornly stays put, staring down at the telephone operators. I can’t tell if she’s deliberately ignoring her brother or watching the ladies work.

  Étienne grumbles French beneath his breath, and then says, “Miss Claiborne, may I speak with you?”

  At that, Nat turns. Her almond-shaped eyes widen as though she didn’t hear her brother the entire time. She looks at me with a false sense of friendliness. “Mr. Calhoun. Good day to you. I didn’t hear you. I heard the beastly roar of a wild animal. You might want to check the area.”

  “It’s no wild animal, just my husband,” Serene says as she breezes into the room.

  “What are you doin’ here?”

  “I was walking through town and found myself on St. Philip Street and who do I stumble upon but Nat? What are the chances?”

  Étienne crosses his arms and shakes his head. “What are the chances,” he repeats.

  “Stranger things have happened.”

  “Please get in here. Now.”

  At last, she looks directly at her brother. Unspoken words are thrown between the two of them. His lips go into a flat line before he gestures to my office.

  With narrowed eyes, Nat breezes into my office as though it’s her own. Étienne quietly shuts the door behind her. He leans against the wall, and languidly looks between Nat and his wife as though they’re in an alliance. “Can anyone explain why I’m just now findin’ out that Nat intended on workin’ as a telephone operator?”

  “I didn’t know I had to let you know every aspect of my life. I was goin’ to have lunch with Rainey tomorrow. Does that meet your approval?”

  Serene chortles.

  Étienne’s eyes narrow at his wife before he points a finger at Nat. “You know how I feel about a job.”

  “And you know how I feel about a job,” Nat retorts.

  I can’t help but nod in approval. This strong Nat is new but not surprising. She has lived inside her all along.

  “You can’t get a job here.”

  “She can work here,” I say without a second thought.

  “What?” Étienne and Nat say at the same time, although for different reasons. A soft smile graces Nat’s face. It’s been years since she’s smiled at me like that. Back then, if I knew what I know now, I would have said or done anything to keep her smiling.

  “She can work here if her interview goes well, and the floor manager approves of her,” I clarify.

  Étienne smartly looks at Nat with his arms crossed. “Do you know what this job entails? You’ll be workin’ long hours, and it’ll require your full concentration. This job is highly stressful.”

  I arch a brow. “It’s Southern Bell, not a sweatshop.”

  Étienne gives me a cynical smile. “We’ll see about that.”

  Nathalie never wavers in her answer. “I want the job, Étienne.”

  Her answer isn’t good enough for him. He opens his mouth, ready to slip into another tirade about the perils of being a telephone operator, when Serene cuts in.

  “Why don’t we let the two of them sort this out?”

  Étienne looks at her in disbelief.

  “Let
Asa give an impromptu interview and see if Nat is qualified for the job,” Serene stresses.

  Everyone in the room knows that she isn’t. Myself included. That’s why the tension in Étienne’s shoulders falls, and he nods. “All right, then. Interview, it is.” He looks to his sister. “I’ll be waitin’ for you downstairs.”

  Serene walks out of my office with Étienne, but before she goes, she looks to Nat and mouths something. I think she says, “Burn the place down.”

  What is she talking about?

  Once Nat and I have the room to ourselves, I turn around and take her in. Her high-waisted black skirt emphasizes her small waist. Her yellow silk blouse makes her stand out in a sea of muted colors.

  She looks as beautiful as she did at Alex’s birthday party, and I feel as though I’m back in that damn hallway, reminding myself not to get too close to her.

  “I…um… I’m sorry if this is a bad time,” Nat says with a tentative smile.

  “Not at all, not at all. I was simply speakin’ with your brother about some business.” I cross my arms as the lingering tension from our conversation at Alex’s birthday party settles around us like an uncomfortable hug. In a desperate bid, I say, “At Alex’s birthday party, you told me you wanted a job interview. I didn’t realize you would come so soon.”

  “I want a job,” she says with determination.

  “You want to make a career of bein’ one of the Hello Girls?” I question.

  Nat walks over to the windows and looks down at the first floor. “I want to do somethin’ meaningful with my life.”

  I stare at her profile and a sharp aching of need slams into me. So swiftly it almost feels as if I’ve been punched in the stomach. Quickly, I look down at my desk and try to compose myself.

  “Well, if you want to be a telephone operator then I will treat this as your interview.”

  Nat’s eyes fill with hope, and she nods.

  “Ma’am, please have a seat,” I say, my tone is polite yet stiff as I gesture to one of the chairs opposite to mine.

  As I sit down behind my desk, I observe Nat. She does as she’s told, but nervously fidgets in the seat. Crossing and uncrossing her legs and looking around my office as though she’s never been in such a space.