He pulls up my shorts, then his, which had moved little from my efforts. “Put my shirt on.” His gaze flicks beside me.
I snatch up his shirt and pull it over my head. He does a quick sweep of the room and throws me my bra and shirt. “Sit on those or something.” Yanking open the door, Scott stands on its other side in all his interrupting glory. “What, Scott?” Nathan grumps, standing in the entrance.
“Something’s―” Scott stalls, looking around Nathan and taking in the room.
I fold my arms across my chest, not wanting him to see my C-cups perked up through Nathan’s white shirt.
He fixes Nathan with a look that could kill. “What were you doing?”
Nathan’s aggravation flares. “Why? What do you want?”
“Don’t do it,” Scott cautions, half shaking his head. “You’ll end up like Glen and me.”
“Your situation with Glen is a lot different from ours,” Nathan says, closing the door on Scott.
Scott stops the door with his forearm, and divulges with a sly tone, “Only slightly.”
Nathan’s head tilts, but I can’t see the look he gives him.
Scott’s arm falls from the door as his eyes take on a doleful expression. “You don’t want it, believe me. Glen isn’t doing so well with the acceptance.”
“That’s your fault. You took that step without understanding your mate or your mate understanding you. You’re bound with restrictions, and that’s not possible.”
Scott looks past him and over at me. “She knows everything?”
“Most, but she knows there are things I haven’t told her.”
“How?”
“We talk. We don’t just have sex and sleep like you’ve been doing.” Nathan shoves Scott’s shoulder. “Why didn’t you tell me you and Glen are bound? Didn’t you think that was a vital piece of information?”
Scott throws his head back, rolling his eyes. “I did. But I knew what you would think, considering the way I treated you, then giving in, in such a short time.”
“How long?” Nathan demands.
Scott brings his head forward, forcing his hand down his face. “Some days ago before we went on break.”
“Keep going.”
“That Friday I had talked to Tracey. I ran into Glen before last class. Something happened, and I couldn’t control it. She cornered me in the photo lab and when she kissed me . . . I lost it.” He drags his hands down his red turning face and leans against the door panel. Eyes shut, he reveals, “Every desire rushed out of me like the destruction of a collapsing dam. I took full advantage of the situation, not letting an inch of her go untouched. Ugh,” he grumbles. “I couldn’t resist my own urges, so I did it.” He shrugs, looking back at Nathan. “She stripped, I let her strip me, and I took every ounce of her, even her soul was mine, she was so open. And that night, I accidentally fell asleep next to her. That was harder to avoid than I thought it’d be. I knew I messed up, but I thought if I could avoid the seal, we wouldn’t bond. But then, the next thing I know, we’re waking up.”
“You’re an idiot to think that, Scott,” Nathan states matter-of-factly. He crosses one arm and goes on expressing his disapproval for Scott’s actions.
From what I’ve picked up, Nathan’s older than Scott is. While Scott helps him stay in control of his inner wicked, Nathan helps Scott balance the multiple lives they live. They’re each other’s support system, and I respect that.
Glancing over his shoulder, Nathan asks, It’s okay if I let him in?
I nod. Any way to help Scott and find out what’s going on with Glen, I want a part in.
Nathan pushes the door open wider. “You’re going to pay for this later. Come in.”
“How’d you tell her?” Scott asks, passing Nathan.
I butt in. “Where’s Glen, and why are you able to just leave her everywhere?” There’s no way the Glen I know would have stayed laying on a beach or in a stranger’s house just sitting somewhere.
“I put her to sleep.”
“I’m sorry?” I blurt.
“Nathan could do it to you too, but I doubt he would.” He had better not! “It’s one of my abilities. I have to do it sometimes because being bound to someone and not being able to be yourself can suck.”
Nathan grabs my attention, nudging me forward. I scoot up, and he sits behind me.
Scott plops down on the desk chair, asking, “How’d you take it when he told you?”
“Slowly,” I answer. “After understanding, I knew no matter what it was, nothing would change my acceptance.” Unless he keeps pushing me away, denying me, or better yet, answering the damn door in the middle of such an amazing moment! Nathan laughs, chest vibrating against my back. “Stay out of my head,” I warn, fighting my smile.
He kisses my temple. “I didn’t tell her everything at once,” Nathan starts, “but she knows the important stuff. And she’s repeatedly stated, regardless of who I am or what I do, she accepts me, Sephlem, demon, human.”
“Nathan,” I break in, “that’s what he is to me, and that’s who I see.”
You’re about to make me kick him out if you keep accepting me for what I am in that voice and with my shirt on.
Well, tell me what else I can say to tempt that urge.
“Mmm. Stop,” he carries the word low in my ear.
“You two do that communicating like we do?” Scott asks, observing us.
“Sometimes,” Nathan answers.
“Serious question,” Scott says. “If you bond, nothing would change in your relationship?”
Nathan shrugs.
“Why haven’t you?”
Nathan blinks slowly and avoids my unswerving glare. He rubs the back of his neck and drags, “Tracey. . .”
“No. Answer the question.”
He takes a breath and says to Scott, “Even though it feels like forever, I haven’t known Tracey long enough to steal her freedom. Because of our short time, I feel like I’m taking her away from the rest of her life too soon. She enjoys being out with no commitments, doing what she wants when she wants. I don’t want to take that from her. I don’t want her to feel obligated to check with me before she does something, or, while she’s out, she can’t enjoy herself for having the desire for me, needing me. I don’t want to crowd her. Although I know she says she wouldn’t mind if I did, I don’t think she realizes the impact and changes it will have. If we bond, she’ll hate the overbearingness and regret it when I’ve become too much for her, when she sees the inside.” His forehead presses against the back of my head. “Even though she’s reiterated her commitment, so my worries aren’t relevant.”
What are you saying, Nathan? I mock him.
He lets out a breath through his nose, kissing my head. Whatever you want, Tracey. I’m all in. I trust you. We’ll work through it.
If you keep talking like that, Scott will have to leave.
He laughs aloud.
“And you trust what she’s said?” Scott asks with strong disapproval.
“I have to.”
“Tracey, what makes you accept him, though? Knowing what he is and what could happen to you two if things ever went sour?”
“My heart beats in his chest.” The shortest, yet direct answer. It’s already written in that alone, everything else is conveniences or inconveniences of life.
Scott hugs the back of the desk chair. Gaze on the floor, he asks, “Do you love him?”
“I do.”
He meets my gaze, knitting his brows. “But it’s so soon. Sure, I can’t talk. I’m just curious.”
I completely disagree. “I took a leap of love. A vow of trust. And made a promise on which I’ll never renege.” I lace my fingers through Nathan’s, considering our latched hands. “There’s someone for everyone, and when you know, you know. Plus, there’s that small confirmation of my heart beating in his chest that reassures it’s real and we’re permanent. What’s there to question when the answer’s right in front of you? Right inside you,” I add
, pointing to my chest.
Nathan jumps up and heads for the door. Hand on the knob, he says, “Okay, Scott, time for you to go.”
Scott sits forward but doesn’t budge. “No, wait. I have a couple more questions.”
“Scott, now is not a good time.”
“Please, I don’t know what to do. I can’t keep hurting Glen or myself. I’m trying to see this from her eyes.” He throws his hands in his face and shoves them through his loose hair. It falls back around his face when his hands drop to his lap.
Nathan rolls his shoulders. “Okay, Scott.” He steps away from the door. “I have nothing else to tell you. You know your lady like no one else. I can’t tell you what to say or how she’ll react. She’s already accepted you for you. Just add in, if you lose control, you could kill her. And if she says okay, tell her about us. If she says okay to that, you know you can tell her anything.”
“That’s how you told Tracey?”
Nathan rubs the back of his neck and looks up at us through his lashes. “Umm, not exactly.”
“Okay?” Scott pushes for more.
“I kind of tricked Tracey into it, making her tell me she’d trust me and that she wanted to be with me, insinuating no matter what I, later, told her, she would still choose me, regardless.”
“Get out. You went for that, Tracey?” Scott blurts with a shocked chuckle, knowing me well enough to know I wouldn’t usually fall for such blarney.
Obviously, I was easily persuaded. “I knew that. Not that night, but later. I mean, what other choice did I have? I can’t have Nathan without the bad. Not saying I would change him. So, I take him the way he is . . . Burdened,” I say, meeting Nathan’s eyes, realizing how much I mean those words.
Nathan leans against the TV stand, shirtless, his dark hair brushing his temples from his head being bowed. Periodically, he flicks his gaze over at me, peering through his thick lashes, but he says nothing.
Scott’s going back and forth in an argument with himself. He holds his hands out before his eyes, moving one higher than the other, back and forth, visually weighing his options.
“Scott, look, I understand you’re nervous about telling Glen. But you should’ve thought about that before all this,” I say, a bit unsentimentally. “Sorry. I don’t mean to be an ass. But tell her. You cannot expect to hide things and be happy at the same time. You tell her and let her decide for herself. Not that you left her with much of a choice,” I add. “Then you’ll see a change. You never know, she might love you more. Glen’s into the whole bad boy, ruthless image type of thing. Do that eye swirling thing. Plus, I want my friend so we can talk about all this.” I hope he’ll take that bit of advice and leave to go talk to her.
Scott looks for Nathan’s rebuttal. Nathan nods in agreement with me and reaches for the doorknob. “She’s right. Try.” He pulls it and lets it swing open. “Try right now. Please?”
“Okay.” Scott gets up from the chair and trudges to the door. “I hope she doesn’t freak out on me.” He grumbles with a despondent expression, matching his agitated tone.
I get up to hurry him along. “Everything will be fine. Just go with your gut, and if all else fails, kiss her. Thanks for the talk.” When he makes it to the other side of the door, I close it.
“Neither of you are coming with me?” The closed-door muffles his words.
“Not cool, Tracey,” Nathan scolds. He opens the door to Scott glaring back at us with pouty eyes and his lip poked out. “Excuse her. She’s tired and needs to go to sleep.” Nathan gives me an annoyed glower, making me want to tell Scott sorry―once he leaves. “Scott, you know we can’t accompany you while you tell Glen. No outside influences.”
“Ugh.” Scott throws his head back. “You’re right.”
“I’m sorry, Scott. That was mean of me,” I say.
“No, Tracey, it’s okay. I’ll see you in the morning,” he mumbles as he turns and heads down the hall.
Darn, it’s eating him up. I remember Nathan telling me how hard it was for him, and how me being open and understanding made it a little easier.
“Right. Glen may not do that for him.”
“Okay, now I feel bad.”
“That might not last for long.” Nathan pushes the door closed behind me, holding my gaze. My heart races, and I gasp. “Calm down, Tracey,” he soothes.
“Forgot,” I utter through a chuckle.
“No, you didn’t. Based on what you were saying, I―”
“No, based on what you were saying.” I raise a hand to his bare chest. “What were you saying?” I croon, gliding my hand up to his neck.
“I said a lot,” he answers, moving closer. Not that there was much space between us to begin with.
“Yes. But there were specific things.”
“Like what?” he asks, voice deepening, causing heat to roll through my spine.
“Whatever you want, Tracey,” I coo.
Nathan smirks. “I remember saying something like that.”
“What we will build and what we have.”
“Yes. There was some of that too.”
I lick my lips. “And I’ll do whatever Tracey wants me to do because I love her.”
He backs away, raising an eyebrow. “I don’t remember saying that.” He snatches me forward, pressing my body against his. “But I will. And loving you is not the only reason.”
I kiss him; a light peck on the lips and leave him for the bed. From the edge of the bed, I snatch my shirt and bra and head for the bathroom. Nathan’s before me by the time I make it to the door. I gasp, startled by his sudden appearance. “Why do you do that?”
“What are you doing?” A hint of insult peeks in his eyes when his gaze drops to the clothes clutched in my hand.
“I’m tired. I’m giving you your shirt back so I can sleep.”
“Uh-huh.” He pulls the clothes from my hands and throws them aside. Raising both of my hands in his, he kisses each palm, first my left, then the right. I quake. He takes them back in his, lacing our fingers, palm to palm. My body reacts with needle sharp prickles scattering through me and then, for a second, I go numb. “You want me, right?” he asks, voice low.
I nod.
“You will stay with me through whatever?”
“Forever.”
“You’ll love me?”
“Always,” I ratify.
“You may hurt.”
“You’ll take it away.”
“I will. But my demon may peak.”
“I’ll take him away.”
“You will?”
I gaze into soft green-brown eyes, promising, “I will.”
Anxiously awaiting his next move, these pesky butterflies erupt in my stomach. They fly at a hundred miles per hour, ripping through me, causing my legs to tremble. Anticipation boils in me, and all I can do is stare back at him. I work on controlling my breathing with every other breath being hesitant.
“You’re nervous?”
I don’t want to say it, but I am.
He nods as he leans down to kiss me. The fluttering in my stomach zips through my body making its way to my chest, then to my back. It travels through my arms to my hands and sits in my palms pressed against his. Once it settles, he releases my hands and picks me up, never breaking our kiss. Laying me on the bed, he lets me run my hands through his hair before stripping off his shirt and taking his lips to my skin. First asking permission, he removes my clothes and then instructs, “Don’t move.” He leaves me for his closet. There’s a rustle before he comes back with a couple of condom wrappers in hand and stops by the wall with the light switch, cutting off the ceiling light. The small lamps on the nightstands remain on, casting a soft golden glow over our skin.
I lick my lips, and his brows rise as I look him over, standing before me. “Can I touch you?” I crave his warmth and the effusive sensation he harbors.
“You can do more than that,” he says with his voice low and seductive, eyes a constant swirl.
I pull him near
er, breathing him in, trying to control my nerves and the damn butterflies making my bottom lip tremble and my arched knees shake.
Nathan kisses over my collarbone, moving across my neck to its other side, hitting all of my vulnerable spots with his lips following the lick of his tongue. Up to my ear and back down to my chest, he rules me with desirous caresses. Dynamic, ardent kisses. Their pressure and pleasure cause me to grab onto him and croon in his ear, feeling nothing, but everything, everywhere. He grabs my thigh, and I’m quietly panting as he stares at me with his hypnotizing, ocean-blue eyes.
“Stop me when you want,” he says, sincerity in his gaze.
I look down, and he already has his shorts off and protection on. I flick my gaze to the ceiling, gnawing on the inside of my jaw. Oh, crap. “Okay,” I utter, wishing I could calm down. “This has only happened once. I’m really nervous.”
“You’re in control.” He kisses me, slow and intimate, as we crawl to the head of his bed. Abandoning my lips, he glides to my neck, and I hold my breath when he grabs my waist and tenderly seals every ounce of space between us. It’s more than what I expect, and his precaution shows he knows that.
We explore each other’s bodies, obliterating the world and its flaws, its insecurities and uncertainties. He soars through my universe, and I feel things in places I didn’t know had nerve endings, in places he doesn’t even touch.
Our affectionate lyrics make love with our rhythmic caresses and we. . . I. . .
Sigh. . .
It’s . . . beyond words.
assurance
A soft beam of sunlight sparkles against my fluttering eyes. Sun rays break past the curtains as they battle with the leaves of the tree outside Nathan’s window. A firm touch slides over my bare stomach up to the front of my neck. I turn over and meet hazy eyes.
“Good morning, beautiful.” He kisses the corner of my mouth. “Good sleep?”
“Yes.” One of the best actually. “You stayed.” There’s a difference in me by him doing so. I’m finally full.
“Yeah.” It doesn’t sound remorseful, but a pinch in my neck makes me wonder if it is. “It’s not. I’m happy you’re happy,” Nathan assures, pulling me onto him.
Plight: A Dark Paranormal Romance (The Sephlem Trials Book 1) Page 18
