Fearless

by Marianne Curley

  It really is uplifting to be out of the apartment. I take in everything I can, from the shuttered shopfronts to the neat houses, contemporary apartment buildings, communal garages and even stables, all shrouded in darkness.

  Suddenly the swish of beating wings and a cat-like screech rends the air. I drop down, tilting my head back, as a giant bird flies overhead with a snake at least a hundred metres long dangling from its claws.

  Mela motions to pull my hood back into place, dismissing the shrieking bird carrying his midnight snack as too common an event to make a fuss over.

  Walking by her side a few minutes later, I ask quietly, ‘Why are there no lights in this part of the city?’

  ‘There’s a curfew in the sectors surrounding the palace,’ she answers. ‘It makes it easier for the patrols to spot uninvited guests.’

  When Mela thinks we’re far enough, she stops and offers me a leg up, but I’m already gripping the saddle bar and hoisting myself over as I have done thousands of times before. It’s like I can breathe better up here than when my feet are on the ground.

  The mare allocated to me is taller and broader than Shadow. A sturdy war horse comes to mind, or they just grow horses bigger here. I run my hand through her luscious mane down to her shoulder and try to ignore the sudden ache in my chest at the thought of Shadow at home waiting for me.

  While we were looking out of my windows earlier today, Mela explained how to tell direction in Skade using the river to indicate south, the gates north, the cliffs west and the factories with the rolling mountains behind them east.

  So with the river on our right and the shimmering gates high in the sky on our left, I figure we’re riding … ‘Are you going to show me the factories?’

  ‘Not this time, but one day soon. Ebony, I need to warn you that no matter what you see or hear tonight, for your own safety, stay on your horse.’

  At this ominous warning we ride straight through the clean, quiet streets of the inner city, with their tall buildings of pristine darkened glass, into rowdy streets of stone and brick high-rise apartment buildings with broken windows, portions of walls missing, vacant lots piled with garbage and animals furrowing through it. I focus on the animals until shapes take form, and when they do I gasp. They’re not animals. And my heart twists at the sight of the scavenging angelic children who have not yet reached school age.

  Mela turns me gently away. ‘Come on, we’ve more to see.’

  ‘But, Mela –’

  ‘Food is expensive. It can get scarce in these areas, even for angels.’

  Mela’s Seraphim friends move up close and I soon understand why, when drunk, cursing angels start fighting inside a pub on street level, while scantily clad souls, both male and female, hanging off the arms of angels in long tailored coats and shiny shoes, gather around to watch. These streets are where the stronger, wealthier angels get their kicks by slumming it with the poor, desperate souls, and apparently poor and desperate angels too.

  A three-headed monkey scurries past, squealing, while another, bigger animal, the type of which I’ve never seen before, lumbers after it with such a heavy gait it could pass as an elephant seal but for its four stubby legs.

  At a busy corner a nightclub flashes red and blue neon lights while pumping loud, suggestive dance music into the street. A huge bodyguard stares at us as we pass. I keep my eyes averted, but can still see the swathe of gyrating angels dancing with each other inside, near-naked souls serving drinks while both angels and souls perform impossible gymnastic moves inside suspended cages.

  Mela whispers, ‘Angels as well as souls live in these areas. Criminals, escapees, the homeless, the clinically depressed – and their lives are only marginally better than those of the souls sent here.’

  An argument on the ground floor turns quickly into a vicious fight with swords and knives flashing. Blood splatters across a window and Mela’s friends hurry us away, though not quite fast enough. The window smashes. As Mela’s friends protect us with their wings, I spot a furry animal floating in a street trough nearby. By its stench, it’s clear the animal has been decaying for days.

  Why no one has removed it yet boggles the mind. Where are the sanitary workers I see through my windows every morning?

  Mela’s angel friends know a shortcut back to the palace, and once we pass the stinking trough with the dead carcass I move my mare up beside hers. ‘OK, I’ve seen it now, the slum area where both angels and souls live in squalor and are preyed upon by wealthy angels. I assume the souls here are those Luca hasn’t processed yet. And the angels are the socially disadvantaged for one reason or another. But what I don’t see is why you brought me here. You could have just told me all this, pointed out my windows, and saved yourself a lot of trouble.’

  She’s quiet for so long that we reach the curfew sectors surrounding the palace before she turns to me and says, ‘I needed you to feel the tragedy of their existence. Even in the wealthier areas there are still problems. The air is just as unclean. Over time their constantly self-healing lungs take longer to recover and they are more susceptible to illness. So they look for ways to escape, some turning to mind-numbing drugs and alcohol, some attempting to leave the city. When they’re caught, their homes are confiscated and they end up in places like those I showed you tonight.’

  ‘Why me?’ Even as I ask, my stomach twists with the answer. I saw it in the eyes of both angels and souls that first morning on the balcony. They looked at me and saw hope.

  ‘Ebony, there is much more of Skade for you to see. When King Luca is positive you won’t try to escape, he will show you the best parts. The impressive parts that make him look good. But I will show you all of it over time, and you will be able to make your own, informed decisions.’

  Over time? Make my own decisions? And here I am hoping, with this beautiful mare beneath me … I look up at the gates, a shimmering beacon of white light in the dark night sky, and I wonder if this mare can fly like Nathaneal told me horses do in Avena. But with the gates sealed, what is the point of even dreaming of escaping?

  ‘Mela, what is it you think I can do for these people?’

  ‘Until you are queen you can’t do anything except get to know them, and how Skade functions. Just your presence uplifts them. But after your coronation, Ebony, you will have the power to change laws.’

  Oh jeez, she’s pinning her hopes on me too. But how is that fair? I don’t belong here. I don’t belong in Skade. And I’m not staying. ‘Mela, I’m still sixteen, and I know the Code of Free Will is universal. He can’t make me do anything I don’t want …’ The look on her face makes me freeze. ‘What is it? What aren’t you telling me?’

  ‘The king is not going to wait until you turn eighteen to marry you and make you Skade’s queen.’

  ‘What?’

  ‘Preparations are already under way. Dignitaries in all the provinces have been notified to prepare for their journeys to the palace. The ballroom is being refurbished, decorations trialled –’

  ‘When? Mela, when?’

  ‘Your next birthday.’

  ‘He’s going to crown me on my seventeenth birthday, and what? Hope everyone assumes it’s my eighteenth? But that’s only a matter of weeks away! Can he get away with this?’

  Unable to maintain eye contact, her eyes lower, her lashes flutter downwards. I take that for a yes. And by the time the gates open again, who will care what happened a hundred years before?

  ‘Mela, I understand how you want to make this place better for everyone that has to live here, but you must know I’m leaving at the first opportunity. Maybe I can’t escape Skade outright – yet – but I will escape the palace.’

  We continue riding in silence for a while. ‘A hundred years is a long time, Ebony. People grow accustomed to their environment. Their perspectives change, their memories fade, and this can alter their priorities. Something might happen that could bind one’s heart to a place – or a person – over such a length of time.’

  ‘Ar
e you talking about me now, or Nathaneal?’

  She doesn’t answer.

  ‘You think my prince will move on, don’t you?’

  ‘Not from what I’ve heard, but … when reality sets in –’

  She’s thinking children. ‘Please, don’t say any more.’

  She brings her lips together in a pitying grimace. She doesn’t need to tell me how Luca has waited a long time for an heir. He’s not even going to wait until I reach legal age. The thought of being intimate with him makes me shudder. And suddenly the memory of his kiss returns, how he used it to exhibit his dominance over me in front of his people. How will I ever forget his hands clutching my scalp and his hot tongue filling my mouth, scalding the tender cells inside as he showed how easy it would be to possess me?

  The invasion might not leave physical scars, but the ones he seared into my soul, how will they ever disappear?

  ‘Ebony, are you all right?’

  Tears come to my eyes that I fight to stop. When I don’t answer, she says gently, ‘I’ve made a mistake bringing you out so early. Oh, Ebony, I’m so sorry. Please forgive me.’

  I wave my hand at her to forget it. She’s only doing what she believes is right for struggling Skadeans. She’s the general of a whole army of angels who want a better life.

  ‘Hold on, Ebony, only a little further and I will prepare a warm relaxing bath for you.’

  I won’t show weakness here, but, damn it, tears don’t mean I’m frail and pathetic, only that I’m unhappy.

  More memories come, as sharp as if I’m reliving each moment on that balcony right now. I hear the crowd cheering; see Luca’s eyes, smoky and filled with desire. I can even smell his skin as he stands over me, claiming dominance (or trying to) before his people.

  As the tears flow down my face, I look around the dark street, searching for something to quench this unbearable heat in my mouth.

  ‘What is it?’ Mela asks with a deepening frown. She glances at the angels as if they would know, but they only shrug. ‘Ebony, what are you looking for?’

  But this is one of those tidy streets. It’s virtually empty, with doors closed, blinds drawn, gates locked. There are no public toilets, not even a drinking fountain in sight.

  I spot a circular brick structure up ahead, and with relief I slip off the mare and run towards it, my hood flopping back, my cloak pulling apart. I remember Mela’s warning not to get off my horse, but she brought this on me, she showed me these places, she sparked this vile memory or flashback, or whatever this is.

  Mela runs after me, her boots click-clacking on the pavement. The angels follow behind her, tugging our horses with them. ‘Tell me what you’re looking for. I might be able to help.’

  It’s not a well. There’s no water. Disappointment arcs through my spine like a lightning bolt splintering throughout my body. What now? Where to? With all those stairs back up to my room, I’m not sure I’ll make it. My mouth is on fire, filled with blisters, too dry to speak.

  Mela grabs my arms and spins me around. ‘Tell me what you need!’

  I force some moisture up and swallow. ‘Water. I need water.’

  One of the Seraphim reaches into his saddle pack and draws out a bottle. He goes to hand it to me, but Mela snatches it and shakes her head at him. I grab it and swig a long gulp, swish the fluid around my scalded mouth and spit it out. I nod my thanks at the angel and take another gulp, swish again, and down the rest.

  Mela is watching me with a frown carving a deep V in her forehead. Tears spring into her eyes and she shakes her head, sharing her worried glance with her angel friends. One says, ‘I carry another bottle if my lady requires it.’

  Mela points to the near-empty bottle in my hand. ‘Do you need more?’

  I take a deep breath. ‘I don’t know. I don’t know if I will ever be rid of it.’

  ‘Rid of what, Ebony?’

  I hand her back the empty bottle, taking my horse’s reins from the angel’s hand. ‘Just drop it, Mela. I’m all right now. Really I am.’

  I don’t know what triggered that flashback, only that it felt so damn real. I wish I could ask Nathaneal how to stop it coming back again.

  A sigh escapes before I get a chance to contain it. Mela feels bad enough as it is. This is not her fault. None of it is really. She shouldn’t even be in this world. She should be home with Jordan, watching him grow into a young man she can be proud of. ‘We should go.’

  ‘Are you sure you’re ready?’ Mela asks.

  ‘I’m ready. Let’s go before someone discovers we’re missing.’

  Mela doesn’t want to drop it, but the angel jerks his head towards the white wall, where soldiers in full armour walk along the top watching over the surrounding neighbourhoods. They could spot us at any moment. She nods and hands our horses’ reins back to the angel. ‘We’ll walk from here.’

  The angels leave with the horses while I follow Mela, keeping low and out of sight of the wall. We make it to the secret door behind the overgrown shrubs. As soon as we’re inside the tunnel, I touch Mela’s arm to make her stop. I really need to explain. ‘You want me to stay and make this place better for the souls and angels who have no choice but to live here, but, Mela, where is my choice? If I were to live in Skade for a hundred, or even a thousand years, the one thing that will never change is my heart. Mela, if Nathaneal should somehow find a way to break into this horrid place, I’m going home with him. And if he can’t break in, I don’t care how long it takes, but I will find a way out myself. I know this is disappointing for you and I’m sorry. But you should know that I intend to be out of here before I turn seventeen and Luca makes me his wife, because I’m sure you’re right – I would have a problem leaving my own children behind.’

  20

  Jordan

  After Thane and Gabe seal the deal, the angels start leaving. I look for Shae and spot her and Isaac walking down the driveway hand in hand. I run to catch up. ‘Shae, can we talk a minute?’

  She exchanges a glance with her husband of a thousand years. Isaac gives me a searching look while probing my thoughts. I scramble them like crazy, and after a minute he glances at Shae and shrugs. ‘Don’t keep her up late,’ he tells me. ‘She needs her rest before tomorrow. Nathaneal has asked Shae to be in the front team.’

  ‘That’s great, Shae. You’ll see Ebony first.’

  She swings a big grin over at Isaac. She’s excited, unaware that I’m drowning in envy. What I would give to be there, to see Ebony the moment she’s free.

  Isaac leans in and kisses Shae’s cheek, his fingers climbing up inside her hair. The couples are always so passionate. Anyone would think I was taking his wife off to the other side of the moon. He winks at her and the look is so intimate I drop my gaze.

  ‘I’ll be right behind you,’ she says.

  He takes off, and only then does she take her sapphire eyes off him and turn them on me, motioning towards the front-deck stairs. We go and sit on the bottom one.

  ‘I won’t keep you, Shae. I just need to ask you a favour.’

  She stares at me with Ebony’s questioning expression. It puts me off for a second and I have to shake my head to clear it. Life is bizarre. The first time I saw Shae I didn’t see a resemblance. ‘I never noticed before how much you and Ebony look alike.’

  She smiles and looks more like Ebony than ever. ‘And you have become very good at concealing your thoughts even when holding a conversation. That’s quite extraordinary for a human being, Jordan. But surely Nathaneal has told you of another, easier way.’

  ‘I don’t have time to learn it. Besides, Thane’s too busy to teach me.’

  ‘Did he tell you that, or is this your assumption because you don’t like him at the moment?’

  I don’t answer. I’m not sure what I think about Thane right now. I’m giving him a break from my hatred until he brings Ebony home.

  ‘What is this favour? A message for Ebony?’

  She’s never going to guess so I just come out with
it, ‘Shae, will you carry me to the gates?’

  Surprise registers in her eyes as she turns them on me, boring into my brain. I can feel her poking around, searching for my reason. Then she says the one word that brings my plans to a crashing end: ‘No.’

  ‘Come on, Shae, I just want to see her. What’s gonna stop you guys from taking her straight to Avena?’

  She looks directly into my eyes and says, ‘Ebony.’

  21

  Ebony

  A light is on in Mela’s room, giving us the first indication that something is wrong. A sliver of this light shows under the half-size door. Mela turns with her eyes wide and filled with terror. She grips my arm, stopping me from moving closer. Switching the lantern off, she mouths the words, Go back!

  But the door suddenly flies open, wrenched off its hinges, and a Throne guard I’ve never seen before reaches in and grabs Mela around the waist. Dragging her backwards, he gives her a grave look as he passes her to his partner. He then turns to me. ‘Come with me, my lady.’

  I start moving backwards, as Mela had urged, every cell in my body screaming to run.

  ‘I won’t touch you,’ he says, his voice deep and low, ‘but he will punish Mela.’

  ‘Can’t you help her?’

  He shakes his head, a gut-wrenching sadness in his eyes.

  The other guard bends down at the door and looks in. He glances at me with the same soft silver eyes as his partner. ‘My lady, the king requests your presence immediately.’

  Mela screams. I run past both guards, who back quickly out of my way, to find Luca dragging Mela across the room by her hair. He sees me and drops her with a smart-alec grin on his face.

  She scrambles to her feet and rushes towards me, her heartbeat erratic, eyes bulging and horror-filled. But Luca intercepts her, grabbing her by the shoulders and distorting the air as he tosses her in the opposite direction.