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Wicked Enchantment

Page 15

by Wanda Coleman


  the pangs-n-thangs of girlhood are foremost on my

  agenda of items suppressed.

  they storm the Barrier Reef of my consciousness

  like shipwrecked

  swabbies, drunk with trauma, washed inland to

  a grimmer death

  against the shore where rent flesh, first red,

  turns salt white

  Twentieth Century Nod-Out

  nirvana-found prematurely, Who Me swung from

  a knotty participle this morning, book bolted

  from the inside, context sealed tight. homicide

  detected little other than cookie crumbs, a week-old

  bag of cracklings and a moldy POV. grounds stuck at

  the bottom of a red coffee mug, ink-stained sheets,

  sweat-soaked bandana and spittle-damp doobies

  also quickly proved nowhere clues. the nosey dame

  one-wall-over swears-by-jequirity she heard an

  argument and tusslings punctuated by blood-curdling

  howls which aroused indifference since howls

  from Who Me recurred with piercing frequency

  true mystery?

  suicide uptown catty-waggers dare

  cry others crosstown ’twas murder-so-fair

  every minor breeze seems to whisper Chinese

  coroner’s report reads demise by accidental

  suspension from own plot device

  Twentieth Century Nod-Out 2

  gargantuan effort bags hurt-stained eyes,

  heat-cracked teeth and back spasms at the overstress of a vowel. chaos

  has settled in and made itself to home

  a concerto of coughs & moans fortissimo—rood music for the cash bereft

  as titans clash in the space of a Hollywood toilet,

  whamming psyches into last week.

  it’s another day of dancing at the holocaust

  the same ol’ cold-blooded bloodlessness

  enervating the unlucky the weak the poor—jes

  another mundane bash to inspire upper-class yawns

  the four horsemen have capped the fortune five-hundred

  and the apocalypse is in the mail

  Against Forgetting Cento

  and the crows go by . . .

  my teacher revealed a pattern

  a black shaft loomed up inside me and grew bigger

  as night grew

  yet i leave this earth a lowly eater

  without having tasted good meat

  in this neutered air where mad Nijinskys swoon

  in ambidextrous ennui

  better to have never been born than to die ignored

  mistress of slumber

  white sleep

  bloodfire (my breasts swollen and itchy

  with his suckings)

  America, i broil in the racism which makes

  me who i am—just another dead voice

  without a booking agent

  i have learned how women fall to bone

  how true women suffer what false men celebrate

  these ravings in my ear come off the yap

  of a faithless friend

  in this dark time brave tongues are mute

  in this field of cinders i am the smoke

  my genius turned ferocity

  i fall down on my knees and beg

  my son’s terrible eyes

  my son’s terrible eyes and sad cold hands

  American Sonnet 25

  today the villains are all named willie

  with bushy wild hair which grows heedlessly

  spewing discontent/a new breed

  of resilient superlice disrespecting all borders

  and infesting the puritan scalps

  of bloody-handed dealers in cyclopean confusion

  each death carried in blank eyes

  (they taught us to accept the strangeness

  of tolerance) someone discovers a mind

  missing for over a decade

  making note that all phone messages are from

  neglected dunners irate over negligence

  this compulsion to write one’s name

  is a form of post-recession autoeroticism

  as we undergo national ustulation

  American Sonnet 88

  looking back. no laugh yet

  in this rage of ghostaxis 8c snuff erotica

  can one art rescue another in decline?

  (vis-à-vis hydrotherapy & long-term

  flood survival: highjack it—one’s

  only guarantee the ship will dock)

  mayday. am trapped in a bag of false positives

  on covert travels with self-circling airport

  on cruise control. mayday. up to navel

  in yellow-bellied lip service. mayday. under

  attack by pink pearl erasers

  madam. the light at the end of this tunnel

  is a streamliner coming head-on

  bring me

  to where

  my blood runs

  American Sonnet 94

  nostrum nostalgia my notes on never nada no

  collect against my reluctance/forced tabulations

  dey did dis, say me, and dat and dat dere

  why have there been no arrests? no hearings? no justice?

  (what is not offered cannot be refused)

  i regress/the despoiled child, the deserted schoolyard

  weeper. this is your execution

  weeper. this is your groveling stone

  weeper. yours is the burst & burnings of a city

  stunned tearless in the uselessness of limp pursuit

  breathlessness besets and brings the ass earthward

  rest. the answer yellows and loses its wit, its crispness

  my bed to make my heart to stake my soul to take

  how i committed suicide: i revealed myself to you.

  i trusted you. i forgot the color of my birth

  American Sonnet 95

  seized by wicked enchantment, i surrendered my song

  as i fled for the stars, i saw an earthchild

  in a distant hallway, crying out

  to his mother, “please don’t go away

  and leave us.” he was, i saw, my son. immediately,

  i discontinued my flight

  from here, i see the clocktower in a sweep of light,

  framed by wild ivy. it pierces all nights to come

  i haunt these chambers but they belong to cruel churchified insects.

  among the books mine go unread, dust-covered.

  i write about urban bleeders and breeders, but am

  troubled because their tragedies echo mine.

  at this moment i am sickened by the urge

  to smash. my thighs present themselves

  stillborn, misshapened wings within me

  American Sonnet 98

  intrados. myth-deep in tropical underbelly, he gives

  erect hand the grunts the reaching the roar

  ageless febrile greediness/endless penetrations

  of her.

  the comet blisters the sky yet disintegrates

  monoliths crumble with each speaking, the talk

  of orchids of rivers of songlessness of cold meat

  she reclines on their bed/a catalogue of twistings.

  doomed if not addicted, lost if not captured

  she knows his hungers. her jade entanglements

  her eyes-to-lips wisdom

  that stone hidden in her mouth. rare jass

  shaft-deep in she-warmth/those mythic givings (hers)

  erect hard his grunts his reach into the abyss, his roar

  living with you, he says, is like living with a Gauguin

  Thiefheart

  were i the queen of sleight of hand

  i’d steal the wind from a thunderstorm

  if i could

  i’d steal the sweetness out of fresh-baked bread

  it smells so good

  i’d steal the stink from
the core of night

  i’d steal the thrill in a thief’s delight

  know i would

  steal the wings off the flitting dove

  the memory

  of a brother’s love

  i’d steal the t from the end of time

  i’d steal the wolf of a nursery rhyme

  i’d steal the dither from its troubled spin

  i’d steal my mind from the brain its in

  i’d steal the rose from the end of bloom

  i’d steal my son from his cancer’s doom

  i’d steal the corners from my frown

  i’d steal your smile if it wasn’t nailed down

  were i the queen of sleight of hand

  i’d steal the poison from this muthaland

  Blind Cassandra

  ugly bird in solitary flight

  whose nesting place will you steal tonight?

  sorrow travels light travels fast travels

  alone. her father’s gray eyes her mother’s

  hurtful touch. a shrouded figure. from funeral

  to funeral. begging memories, scavenging ghosts,

  rooting up praise. gone along now. fingering

  the heartcloth. scrapes ashes from the pyre of

  her harpy tongue. Atones

  ugly peahen doing a solo wingflap west

  some birdbrain told you you could fly

  slavery was indeed hard. living is precondition

  for dying. spinning tops stop spinning. Picasso

  could draw. chitterlings are delicious when

  properly cleaned and cooked right

  cross-eyed cornflake-yellow auspex of urban blather

  barren/without decency’s spark

  the only child you give birth to

  is yourself and you squat to lay it

  like an egg—out the wrong hole

  Hornets

  —after the song by Herbie Hancock

  ghostlovers those old urges in furious forward

  tongue & veiny hard-ons/stingers strokers

  stumblebums—thunderjolts & madhens—all decisions

  are wrong. two-thirds stomach/a will of its own.

  pick a month, like January. lay out the days

  a crazed calendar, a snowless chill. bad wind

  you say? buzz it. oxygen-starved lungs which

  have become scream-weakened. never-ending list

  of rip-offs. it’s all fuckdaddies & parasites

  roiling in the gutbucket/like breaded and fried

  deep dish in Rex lard/a river of fat in which

  gizzards, hushpuppies and thoughts are browned,

  eyes wide as magnolia blossoms, limbs askew but

  sinewy and glutted on touch dem thigh bones

  potlikker laced with spit & Johnny Walker black,

  ham-hock-sprouting mid bowl in butter beans.

  you know you’re just a greedy so-and-so

  working chain rhymes, stringing nostrums like beads

  you say chapter & verse, “this is the way they do

  it to you here.” zzzt. that which doesn’t sting

  you stupid makes you cynical/bugged. but for the

  light of it all, mean things winging in the green,

  the swelling comes heavy, calm stifled in folds

  of irritated jones-maddened meat. a dull buzz to the

  quick then the marrow, capillaries bursting like

  star orchids, an itchless rash webbing the skin

  as if an acid burn, scars puffed at full rise

  as big as confessions of attempted excellence.

  roundness rages, bones in retreat, order rules on

  its own as the abyss sets behind voluminous cheeks

  major bloat signals the decline in bull to shoot—soft

  tissue damage. cash cows belly up in lost focus, as you

  practice the science of floating in one’s own waste.

  Dream Song 811

  —after John Berryman

  Here. He contemplates a solitude

  neither desired nor romantic, an uncourted dark

  in which he finds himself becalmed,

  his pen not the poison kind,

  and a gun too messy and commonplace.

  He’s not at all afraid, except that some idiot

  might intrude and spoil that final discourse

  between himself and his subtle bedeviler

  as they merge in that mirror of a lake

  all Christmas perfect in The Now

  or shimmery in deep season’s change.

  Then. This is the dark he lives in,

  grading grimly clumsy theses, coveting

  co-eds in their blush, cursing the artless

  rituals by which he’s damned.

  Wishing is a kind of dying and he has spent

  his future crying in the drink

  of his decline—an unnatural man.

  Consciousness Raising Exercise

  —after Elizabeth Bishop

  Think of the tornado roaming the nation uneasily

  like tall blond boys in black coats with semi-

  automatics taking names in a high school library.

  Think how they must look now, the rotted innocents,

  thinking they were safe, slain before they had the chances

  most take for comfort if not for granted,

  whose families will forever mourn by the light

  of their faiths or the fires of their estrangements.

  Think of the paths walked to the crossroads,

  the solemn pledges, the good done, the vows, the smiles

  revealed in photograph albums and mementos—small

  things kept to stay the flood.

  It’s raining dirty water all over America. The hearths

  of thousands are broken with countless fireplaces

  cracked and gone to weed. The Arks are slowly filling

  with unknown species and new breeds. What happened to

  the brave? Have they departed with the free? Think of the

  gutters crammed with souls gone needlessly to waste.

  Think of hundreds seeping into history’s tar

  as still as redwood or mounds of shoes; think

  of them, deeply injured, as disturbances unresolved.

  The Queen on Her Color

  —after Borges, for Tessa Christensen

  The useless savior finds me nailed to a rusty junk-

  yard chassis, I have outlived the light.

  Sightseers once came in proud waves: laughter rang

  on the hilltops and multi-hued chatter

  filled this basin with breathy desire.

  Young days have a habit of quarrelsome gifts and

  confusions, of promises half meant, half

  kept, of finding joy in flawed self-revelations.

  Days are like that, as if you didn’t know.

  That blasphemy, that brightness, left dots before my

  eyes and burnt off my lashes; a few respected

  enemies to chat with, art for brains, and

  stoked on freedom’s promise. The kind of

  bulltripe & betrayal I’ve had a bellyful of

  (wrote like a Nigger, got paid like a Mexican).

  You know who I am in your bones and why you must hate me.

  Words, thoughtless snipes, your cruelty; and you,

  as icy a beauty as your Norwegian north. We

  argued and I will never forget your words.

  The sheltering night finds me stranded on a vacant lot

  in the city of my dishonor & abuse.

  Your smile is turned away, the sounds that compose

  your name, a bizarre cacophony: these are

  the broken memories you have left me.

  I turn them over in the gravel, I lose them, I find

  them; I feed them to stray cats who vomit up

  fur balls and bits of gyrfalcon.

  My dark rich life . . .

  I must stain you, somehow. I must make en
chantments

  from those broken memories you’ve left me. I want

  your hidden envy, your bitter smile—that greedy

  haunted regret your ugly mirror hoards.

  2

  What can I seduce you with?

  I offer you alleyways, bitter sunrises, the

  unapologetic blaze of urban hope.

  I offer you the sweet darkness of a woman who has

  looked too long into her lonely tarot

  I offer you my slave ancestors, my beloved dead,

  the beauty living men have dishonored in head-

  lines: my father’s terror of being lynched

  from the church steeples of Little Rock,

  Arkansas, my maternal great grandmother’s

  callused feet after her walk along the Trail

  of Tears from Tennessee to Oklahoma territory,

  my maternal grandfather’s miserly diggings

  in the dead of history to hide his fortune

  from his children, my cousin—just twenty-five—

  found dead in the workplace, her heart having

  stopped to leave her leaning over an indifferent

  corporate accounts ledger.

  I offer you whatever incites my blood, whatever

  incurs my wrath or stirs my vision.

 

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