From the air, it’d looked like a regular town.
I’d followed the road from there, staying high enough in the sky, or far enough to one side not to bother other travelers.
After I finally reached Staulip, I’d rented a room at a middle-of-the-road quality inn, one with a great reputation for safety and security. I slept awfully lightly, but it was better sometimes to just spend a little extra money and rest easier. Then I sat down at the little desk in my room to puzzle out how to find my mother. I read Enheduanna’s letter what felt like a hundred more times, looking for a clue.
I sat in deep thought until the glowlight in my room began to sputter and die, indicating that I’d almost used up my day’s allotment of magic power. Out of nowhere, I suddenly realized what I needed to do—sometimes there was just no substitute for legwork.
With a yawn, I stood, stretching. Then I turned off the glowlight and after verifying that my room was locked and a chair propped against the door as a brace, I lay down and closed my eyes. This was not a vacation, and I was on a mission.
Before I drifted off, I realized that I was burying emotions again, and I vowed to deal with some of them before meeting my mother. Hopefully tomorrow. Definitely.
Separation
“By the way, do you know a Yvette Petrov Hazard? My employer sent me here to serve a summons to court.”
“Wow, really? What did she do?”
I sat in a hole-in-the-wall bar, the type that served cheap swill made of fermented wild roots. Ludus was full of edible plants, but most people thought they tasted bad. Strangely, brews made from the plentiful gaba root packed a major punch, though. As a result, drinks made this way stayed in demand—a cheap, powerful drink that most complained about. I sipped my gaba beer, wondering what the fuss was about. Mine tasted good.
The adventurer sitting across from me was drunk as a swamp mole. The woman had tall, spiky hair, dark hair, and had filed some of her teeth into points. Some time ago, I’d accepted that I related most to adventurers, soldiers, and street trash. I’d assumed this adventurer used to be a trouble maker like me, which made her even easier to manipulate.
Of course, like most dangerous professions, it wasn’t difficult to get an adventurer drunk nor gossiping.
This woman, Civ, was a local girl who had lucked into an enchanted spear that shot fire, and had turned it into a living. She’d never get rich, and most dungeons she and her team hit were probably lower level for Berber, but she had money to spend after a job. This meant when she returned home, where she was probably still an outcast, she’d have plenty of money to drink, and plenty of time to do it.
Perfect.
I’d been talking to Civ and a few other drunk adventurers for a while now. This was my third day of asking around about my mother. I wasn’t very good at acting, so I slowly sipped my gaba beer and had waited for everyone around me to be drunk before I’d started fishing for information.
“She got in trouble with taxes or something, I think,” I lied.
“Oh, that’s rotten for her,” Civ said. She’d obviously lost interest, probably hoping for a more interesting crime.
“Yeah, it’s a dull job, but we all gotta pay bills, you know?” I sipped at my delicious beer. “You sure you haven’t heard of her? You’re from around here, aren’t you?”
“What was her name again?”
“Yvette Petrov Hazard.”
“What race is she?” Civ took another swig of beer and made a face, then silently gagged.
“I think she’s Terran, or Ludan. Human either way.”
“Human, huh? I haven’t heard that word in a while.” The adventurer rubbed her chin and shifted in her chair, almost knocking over the enchanted spear leaning against it. “I don’t know anyone by that full name, but ‘Yvette’ isn’t exactly common. Actually, maybe—” she said, looking at the ceiling while she thought. “I think I heard someone call Yvette a year or two ago near the Igsig mine offices.”
Jackpot, I thought.
***
After another day of research, I’d learned more about my location. Staulip was more or less a mining town. Rich veins of ore existed to the north and south. The deep southern wilderness, north of the Border Mountains was dangerous, and the area also had a lot of dungeons. The constant flow of adventurers helped the town, requiring a smaller guard force than would otherwise be necessary.
Of course, this also meant that the streets could get rowdy since there were fewer guards to keep order, and more adventurers to cause the disorder in the first place. I’d never been anywhere quite like Staulip before. Even Hell’s Favor in Tolstey didn’t compare—that city had been run by adventurers, and full of adventurers. This town was surrounded by more dangerous enemies than any city in Tolstey, run by civilians, but full of adventurers. Strange.
My research had also helped me figure out where my mother was living. She’d changed her name. Now she was calling herself Yvette Taylor Pistev. I still hadn’t entirely verified her identity, but if this Yvette was actually my mother, I’d also been told she was dying.
I trudged up a hill to a little house on the outskirts of town, checking the address I’d written on my hand. My emotions roiled. Did I really want to do this? Would they even recognize me? Other than information about my past—whatever it was Enheduanna hadn’t been able to tell me, what did I want from this...if anything?
After my first mother had abandoned me, ever since the day I’d come home and she and my sister had just been...gone, I’d thought of this day. Of course, in all of my daydreams I’d been a rich merchant, or the first wife of a powerful, connected family when I finally found my mother and made her explain her actions. In all my daydreams, I had showed her how much she had missed out on, then she’d explained that everything had been a misunderstanding.
Today, I just felt nervous and cold. I was a third-rank orb-Bonded now, the most powerful ‘Bonded rank even the most driven people could usually ever reach. But as I walked up the pathway to a confrontation I’d yearned for during my youth, I hesitated. In that moment, I felt like a child again.
For a few moments, I felt dirty, hungry, and ragged, wondering why my mother had abandoned me. Why hadn’t anyone even left me a note? The ache of loneliness in my heart, an echo of that time, made me remember Arren too, the person who had helped me survive. Arren, the reason I’d been able to escape Lisa’s clutches.
I had to stop for a while to collect myself, staring at the ground and focused on breathing. Even after all these years, I still occasionally got hit by intense sorrow if I thought of Arren, but also a sense of joy. With the bleak outlook I’d had on life lately, maybe I should actually think about these things more often, to celebrate how far I’d come.
“Excuse me? Can I help you?”
I jerked my head up, surprised I’d been caught off guard, and the other woman’s eyes widened at the same time mine did. A question I’d always asked myself, whether my sister and I would recognize each other if we met again, had just been answered.
“Carlee?” I asked. I’d tried to make my voice matter-of-fact, but it came out as a croak.
“Nora.” A look of something hard to define, perhaps resignation or dread crossed my sister’s face. She was an adult now, but hadn’t changed all that much in my eyes. I knew that my mental abilities granted by Muffin had probably helped me recognize her, but I briefly wondered how she’d known me. She’d been two years younger than me when she’d vanished from Bittertown. She said, “I see you still dye your hair.”
I nodded in response, but said nothing else.
My sister looked old for her age, like life had not been kind to her. Her deep brown eyes had a glint of something hard, but vulnerable in them. She was average height, shorter than me, and wore practical, serviceable clothing. A brief ghost of something petty, something vindictive shot through me. Carlee and I had not gotten along when we were children, and now she looked rough and lived in the rotting end of nowhere.
My ba
ck ached as an awkward tension started to grow. I wasn’t entirely sure what to do, or how to act. Was this an awkward homecoming, or was I an avenger? The only thing I knew for certain was that I wanted answers, but I wasn’t even sure how to approach any of this. I’d mostly ignored thinking about what I’d actually do once I’d found my mother ever since I’d read the note from Enheduanna.
Suddenly, a little boy seemed to spring out of nowhere. “Mom!” The boy looked like he was about six years old. His wavy hair was unkempt, and he dressed in the same simple style as my sister. He ran up to her before turning to look at me curiously. “Who is this?”
“This is your Aunt Nora, Blake. Say hello.” Carlee’s voice was flat.
“Who?” he mouthed, but out loud out he said, “hello!” I nodded my head at him in response. Then he turned to my sister and urged, “Mom, Grandmother isn’t doing well. She asked for you.”
Carlee’s eyes hardened, her mouth firmed, and the tension I’d been feeling before started to grow. She looked back at the house before her gaze snapped back, locking onto me. “What are you here for, Nora?”
Without warning, my heart lurched. A flash of anger crashed around inside my head like thunder, but I weathered the storm. After all this time… I’d known that seeing my mother and sister again wasn’t going to work out how it had in my fantasies. I had accepted reality. It was still taking me a significant effort not to punch Carlee in the mouth, though. She was acting exactly like she had when we’d been young, only now it was twenty years later, and I’d been through hell to be standing where I was now.
Ultimately, she’d just been a child back then, though. She was not responsible for me being left alone in Bittertown, she couldn’t be.
“What do you think I’m here for?” I growled.
“To see Mother.”
“I see you’re as bright as you always were. Good job.” I hadn’t meant the words to come out like that, but they just spilled out. My sister began to open her mouth, but I glared, turning the full force of my raging emotions at her through my eyes.
When her expression changed and she took a step back, I remembered that I was dressed in armor, heavily armed, and wearing ragged, travel-stained clothing. I almost apologized, but decided not to. My...family owed me answers; I didn’t owe them anything. Blake looked uncertain, suddenly scared, and I felt a pang about that.
My sister dry-washed her hands. “After all this time, Nora, and now you’ve come. Why are you here?” she asked again.
Dozens of warring emotions spun through my heart, but I reached out, grabbing ahold of my stubborn streak, and held on tight. I refused to show any weakness in this situation, even though I was starting to realize that merely being here was hurting, opening old wounds.
I finally decided what role I needed to play. This was not a homecoming—I was not lost, I’d found myself. I was not here for useless revenge, either. No, I was here as a judge, searching for closure...and the information that Enheduanna had suggested I would find.
Years of experience in leadership positions gave me the tools that I needed. My back straightened fully as my voice cracked out with authority. “Lead me to Yvette Hazard, or Yvette Pistev, whatever she calls herself now. I know the house is right there, so either come along, or get out of my way.”
When a strange expression flashed across my sister’s face again, I suddenly understood some of what she was feeling. She was scared that I’d come to kill her, or Mother, maybe both. Perhaps at one time in my life, this might have made me feel ashamed.
But now I just stared her down until she nodded, grabbed her son’s arm in a shaking hand, and walked toward the house. Partway there, she bent down and whispered something in the boy’s ear before giving him a push that made him stumble. I hadn’t bothered to use Vibration to listen to what she’d said. Based on how terrified Blake looked as he ran down the hill, glancing back, I could guess.
I stopped to watch him go, then swiveled my head around slowly to study Carlee. She cringed, her eyes darting nervously. I reminded myself again that my sister had just been a child when I’d been left alone. At the same time, I also reminded myself that she’d always been my first mother’s daughter. Regardless of what happened this day, we would never be friends. I hadn’t taken any joy in my nephew’s fear, and if my sister had sent her son to the Guard, I couldn’t even fault her for that.
However, I’d noticed that she’d held the boy between us before she’d sent him away, not behind her. She had made no effort to protect the boy, hiding behind him instead. This fact made me feel very little sympathy for my sister. I tried to be fair and reminded myself that it had been a long time since I’d last seen her, but Carlee seemed to have only gotten older. She was still the same as I remembered her.
“Lead on, Sis.”
***
The inside of the house was tidy, but had seen better days. The paint was fading, the furniture was ratty, and the building had other signs of neglect.
“She’s in there,” said Carlee. She pointed to a doorway on the other side of the room. As I turned, I noticed her shifting eyes settle on a vase twice.
I stopped and turned to face her. “Carlee, it’s been a long time, and I don’t know what you think I’m going to do, but I’m going to make this very clear. Almost all of my memories of you are negative. On top of that, I was left alone, a scared girl. I’m here to ask some questions. You’ve treated me with hostility since I showed up, and my temper is running out. We may be related by blood, but I barely know you. If you attack me unprovoked, you will regret it.”
She swallowed.
As I swiveled and began walking to the door, I was suddenly struck by a gradual change in myself that I hadn’t noticed. Only a few years ago, the confrontation I’d just had with my sister would have been far harsher, laden with profanity, and would probably have been less effective. I really had learned a lot about people over the years, and about new ways I could express myself.
I could admit that I’d probably just been fairly intimidating. A small part of me was bothered by this—I didn’t want to solve all of my problems with threats or a blade. On the other hand, I really would not tolerate my long-lost-rotting sister hitting me in the back of the head with a vase.
The door loomed and all my indecision I’d felt outside came back, but I fought it off. I was doing this. This was real and it was time to finally get some answers.
I heard the sound of labored breathing as I entered the room. The sparse bedroom had the windows open, thick curtains fluttering. A trace of sickness chased the smell of flowers.
My mother was lying in a cheap bed pushed against the wall. I barely recognized her—the years had not been kind. “Carlee?” she wheezed.
“Hello, First Mom, I'm back.” The Ludan word I'd used for “first mother” hadn't been respectful nor familiar. I'd rarely heard the word before in my life, and mostly only from adult children whose father or mothers had remarried.
My mother turned her head and sighed, which was not a reaction I'd been expecting. There was a pause. “I always knew this day would come.”
I didn't say anything, just stood there.
Finally, she asked, “What have you come for?”
“Answers.” My voice was cold. I needed to be strong, firm—if I wasn't, I might break. In the past, I'd always expected to be full of righteous anger when I met my mother again. But now, I just felt like my whole body ached, my heart as heavy as lead.
“I guess it was too much to hope that you just wanted some money, even though it is probably obvious I don't have any to give. In fact, if I wasn't so poor, maybe I wouldn't be dying.” She coughed.
The weight of my belt pouch seemed to grow as I thought about what was inside. I had wealth, but none of it was mine to give. The direction my thoughts were going made me angry—where were these feelings of guilt coming from?
“Around twenty years ago, you took my sister and disappeared. Why?” I was proud of myself that my voice didn’
t break. If this meeting had happened a few years ago, I might have launched into ways my life had been terrible, or demanded an apology, or hurled anger. Now I knew better than to bother.
“That is not a simple answer.”
“Try me.”
She stared upwards for a while, then turned back, studying my eyes. After a few hacking coughs, she said, “I have dreaded that this day might come for a long, long time. Part of me knew it would happen, though—you’ve always been capable, even as a child.”
I ground my teeth. “I’m glad I managed to survive as a homeless child so we could have this little chat.”
“Don’t be that way, Nora.” She hacked, barely getting out, “This is going to be hard enough.” Suddenly, she propped herself up on one elbow, her cloudy eyes growing sharp for a moment. “Where is your sister?”
I narrowed my eyes. “She is out there, a few feet away. The boy is fine too. Don’t worry, I’m not a murderer, and I’m not here for them.”
“Well, that doesn’t sound ominous at all.” My mother quirked a sarcastic smile and it was like I was young again. I shook off the feeling.
“Mothe—Yvette, my wonderful sister has probably called the rotting Guard to your rotting shack. I don’t have all the time in the world and I would rather not have to fight my way out of this travel stop of a town.”
My mother eyed my weapons that she could see and my clothes. I might be dirty and worse for wear, but what I wore was quality-made, not cheap, and my mother was the type of person who could judge such things at a glance.
“Yes, this all may not seem like much to you. That must feel nice. How fortunate of you. I have worked for the last twenty years as a cleaner for Igsig Mine. Through great sacrifice, I saved up enough to send your sister to school, and she is an apprentice accountant now. We might not have much, but we earned it all. I hope you don’t enjoy looking down on us too much from your lofty perch.”
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