With an effort of will, I forced down my rage. When I was sure I wouldn’t scream, I softly said, “You have no idea where I have been, or what I have been through. You do not have the right to talk to me that way, nor to judge me. If you use that passive-aggressive tone with me again, like I’m a child again, I am going to leave and get Carlee fired. You just told me where she works, after all.”
As the lie left my mouth, I didn’t feel proud of myself, but I did feel a small measure of satisfaction when my mother’s eyes widened. She’d always been like this, and I’d never understood how my birth mother had seemed to handle her so easily. Yvette had seemed to take special joy in her petty slights against my birth mother, probably because my father had married her first. Yvette’s only saving grace had been what a good first mother she’d been; controlling the finances and family business had been things I’d never been able to fault her on.
“You wouldn’t dare,” she whispered. “I don’t care who you are now, you don’t have that kind of influence. What about your nephew?”
“I can do it, and I know plenty of other families that would take him in,” I lied. “My conscience would be clear.”
My guilt grew as the ailing woman drew in a shuddering breath and seemed to wilt. “Yes, come up in the world, have we? Bully our long-lost mother, will we?” she muttered. She continued to grumble until her eyes snapped up. “Fine. Like I said, I have dreaded this day for many years, and I thought of what to say if it ever did. I don’t really like you, Nora, I never have, but I think I do owe you the truth.”
“So y—”
“Don’t interrupt me until I’m done.” Some of the woman’s old iron seemed to have crept back in her voice, and for a moment, I could see her how she’d been in the past: tall, haughty, and self-confident.
“Fine.”
She gathered herself and rested her hands on her chest, staring up at the ceiling as she spoke. “Something you may not have understood as a girl is that I never really loved your father, and I wasn’t exactly secretive about it. We got married because he was friends with my mother, and your father needed a strong first wife. I agreed to the union because I have never been particularly pretty and I refused to accept being less than a first wife. Plus, your father, for all his faults, was brilliant, and would need a strong hand to guide him. Most other families with power like ours had, or close to it, would have never offered me marriage, much less control of the family.”
That was all news to me, but I just nodded.
She continued, “Another thing you don’t know is that even before your father was arrested, our family had been getting threatening messages, and harassed, mostly at night. We tried to keep it from you and your sister. Then after your father was arrested, someone went through a lot of trouble to destroy us. I didn’t get much of a chance to talk to him after he’d been in prison, but he seemed to have angered someone with a lot of power.”
My mother sighed. “That would have been just like him, sticking his nose where it doesn’t belong.”
“What did he do?” I asked. “Or at least, what do you know?”
“I am not certain, but I think he gave money to some people who were investigating unsolved disappearances. He also funded private investigations to track down where all the weapon parts our company sold were being sent. The man should have let it go. If he hadn’t been paying for all of this with his personal allowance I gave him every month, I would have put a stop to it but by the time I knew, it was already too late.”
My shoulder found the wall and I crossed my arms. I mused, “And it doesn’t take a scientist to draw lines to the fact all of this was connected.”
“Yes. Then after your father died, under very suspicious circumstances of course, your birth mother died. She practically got sick overnight and wasted away faster than I would have believed. At the time, I was angry, and a lot was happening, so I’d just assumed the weak-hearted thing had left me alone with you kids and no income out of cowardice. It was only a few years later that I realized she might have been poisoned.”
“What?” Dread surged through my veins.
My mother’s voice sounded dispassionate as she recalled the history of my entire world crumbling. “Right before your birth mother died, our family got hit by every debt we owed, all at once. Another rival company basically tore our business out from under us, too. Normally, even without your father around, I still could have kept us afloat, but too much happened too fast. We were broke, in debt. Collectors were surging, and some of them used criminals as muscle.
“Yes, we were in a really bad situation, then the rough people came with the deal.”
I frowned. “People? What deal?”
Yvette’s eyes tightened. “Three women came one night to talk to me. They pulled me outside. You might actually remember this, I told you I was dealing with business. Of course, you were basically dead to the world at this time from grief so maybe you don’t remember.”
“I remember,” I said softly. The memory played over again in my head, that time of my life all seemed to be dripping in sepia.
“Only two of them actually talked. One held back in the shadows where I couldn’t see her clearly. They were very blunt, and told me that in a week, I needed to send you out for a chore and leave town. I’d need to leave everything, even the house. If I did, they promised to pay me a great deal of money at an inn in Makovo. They told me if I didn’t do this, or if I told anyone, they would target our whole family.
“You have to remember that we’d been getting threats for a long time. The Guard was tired of dealing with us, I am sure. Even with proof of the threats written about both of you girls, the Guard had been responding more slowly to my requests for help.”
“Why did they tell you to leave me behind?” This part of the story didn’t make sense.
“I don’t know, but they made it clear they would stop playing nice if I didn’t do as they said.”
Suddenly, from outside the open door, Carlee said, “Mother, she deserves the truth. I hate all of this, and I hate how all of this is happening right now, but this isn’t right. Tell her what you told me.”
“This was all so long ago,” complained Yvette. “It’s all basically the same.”
“No, it’s not,” said Carlee. “If you won’t tell, I will. The time for lies is over.” I turned, and my sister had her arms folded, her mouth turned down in the deepest frown she could physically manage.
“Don’t—” My mother’s voice was a whisper.
“Nora, we were never close, even as children, but after being an adult, after having...a child of my own, all of this has bothered me. This family has buried rot for a long time and I just want to be done with it, get it out in the open.”
“Those are big words for someone that likely summoned the Guard.” The words slipped out before I could stop them. Carlee had always brought out the worst in me, and it seemed some things hadn’t changed.
Her eyes narrowed but she ignored my jab, probably because she really had sent her son to get the guard. Maybe she wanted to clear her conscience before they could show up and arrest me. I just wanted the truth, so even if I only got it due to my sister’s selfish reasons, I didn’t care.
She said, “Mother told me a different version of this story before. The people she talked to said something different, something Mother isn’t telling you. They told her that she could either leave you behind, or choose to leave me. Either of us would do. If she ignored them, or went to the Guard, they would just kill her and take both of us.”
My mother struggled to sit up. “I had a plan! I was going to take the money they gave me in Makovo and hire someone to go back and get you, Nora!”
My stomach felt queasy. “So what happened?”
Carlee barked a laugh with no humor. “I actually remember this. When we got there, the people who were supposed to be waiting for us weren’t there and never showed up. Mother had used almost all the money she had left traveling to Makovo with
me.”
I finished the story for them. “And then she probably got scared, because of the threats in Bittertown, and the fact she’d just abandoned a child and ran away from huge debts.”
“Yes,” my mother confirmed, her voice a whisper.
My body felt like a storm was trapped inside, but I forced myself to think, to ask the right questions. “These three people, what did they look like?”
“Like I said, I didn’t see the woman in the shadows, but I did get a good look at the other two. They were rough, fighters of some sort, I think.” I listened carefully while my mother described the two women she’d talked to, and my heart felt like ice. One of them had been wearing the colors of a rival street gang I’d fought against while I’d been a Jackal. The other had actually been wearing Jackal colors, and her description perfectly fit Kew, an officer in the gang—probably still an officer.
I reached for floating time, trying to control my emotions. Some part of me felt surprised that I wasn’t filled with rage now, just sorrow and regret. “And during the week after you met with these people, you never alerted the Guard?”
“No, I didn’t dare.” My mother coughed. “I saw those women every day after that until I left town. In fact, a few other women who dressed like them also seemed to be around the house any time I looked.”
“The house…” I mused out loud. “Why would they go through all this trouble instead of just killing you?”
“What?”
I ignored Carlee’s squawked question, my heart aching as I pushed my brain to think. The story didn’t make sense, but I had no reason to doubt it, especially the way my mother kept sweating and blinking away tears. Whether those tears were from regret or having to own up to her weakness, I wasn’t sure.
“Well, now I know.” My words felt wooden in my mouth; floating time wouldn’t come. “Anything else?”
“I didn’t want anything to happen this way.” Yvette, my long-lost first mother said quietly but defiantly. “Anything that might have happened to you, it wasn’t my fault. Like I said, I planned to have someone come get you.”
“I see. And the last twenty years?”
“I didn’t know where you were, and we are not exactly swimming in money.”
My mouth felt like cotton. I didn’t know what to say in response. Carlee dry-washed her hands, I could actually hear it in the sudden silence. After a few pregnant moments she coughed nervously and said, “Nora, speaking of money, Mother is sick, and now with only me working, we have bills.” She eyed my clothing. “I don’t suppose you have anything to spare?”
“Unbelievable.” I lowered my head, absentmindedly minimizing Eneus, and ignored the gasps from my sister and my mother as the spear shrunk down to hang from my wrist. This was too much to deal with right now; I needed to think.
These people deserved nothing from me. The child, Blake, was innocent, though. He might grow up to be a poisonous person like these two, but maybe I could still give him a chance that I had never gotten. “When the time comes, I will pay for Blake’s education after he is an adult, and even find him an apprenticeship if I need to. That goes for any other children you might have, too.”
My sister made an expression that she probably believed was a friendly smile. “That is very good of you, but we have a few expenses that need attention now and—” She trailed off as I began walking away. “Wait!”
Concentrating on placing one foot in front of the other had become my world. I needed to get away. The tiny, run-down little house was stifling. I made it outside, ignoring my sister as she tried to wheedle money from me, mere moments after I’d just been told that I’d truly been discarded.
On Ludus, gold to pay a magic messenger bird was not hard to come by, and some mages could be hired to call one—it wasn’t even expensive. I had spent years waiting for a magic messenger bird to arrive and tell me everything was going to be fine.
I breathed heavily and looked back at the house. Pushing my mother further about why she’d never sent for me, never even let me know she was still alive in the last twenty years hadn’t been necessary. I’d never been a priority. Her life hadn’t turned out the way she’d expected, and I’d been an unfortunate reminder of that. Sending me a message would have forced her to give the answers she’d just given me, which no doubt threatened the way she’d rationalized her past.
“Nora, things have been hard lately—” My sister nattered on, and I continued to ignore her. Down the hill, I caught sight of a group of approaching Guard. This was Berber, not Tolstey, so these regular Guardswomen were all very capable-looking. The group of four were armed with two spears, an air rifle, and a crossbow. Their armor was very businesslike and battered. In a mining town, they probably got plenty of hands-on experience. I barked a laugh.
“If you wanted to beg money from me, you shouldn’t have called the Guard. After everything I’ve been through, after all the hardships I’ve endured to even find this place, it figures, though. I will return in the future to check on your son, to make sure he gets the opportunities that I never did.”
Carlee ran her hands through her hair. “At least go back inside and forgive Mother!”
I looked her right in the eyes. “No.” Then with a thought, I rose into the air. A tiny part of me must have still held hope about my family, about my past, but that part of me had just died. I hurt deeply, down to my soul. A sense of loneliness and abandonment that I hadn’t felt so keenly since I’d been a child seemed to grow with each breath.
Below me, my sister fell on her bottom, staring upward, jaw open. The Guard pointed, but wisely didn’t try to stop me. No crime had been committed, and I was not in the mood to be shot at—again.
As I flew higher, I felt grateful for the sky. My heart, what was left of it, felt broken, but at least I was free.
And now I knew where I needed to go next—Bittertown. Much of what my mother had told me still didn’t make sense, but my intuition was buzzing. I’d always known how my father had died had been suspicious, but now I knew my entire family had been targeted too. Something was wrong in Bittertown, something rotten. I was going to get to the bottom of this mystery, and after I did, a number of people were probably going to die.
If anyone had truly murdered my birth mother, it was a certainty.
What Goes Up
Some benefit could usually be found in any situation. Flying over long distances was really helpful to think, and to learn new things. For instance, I’d figured out that Eneus could change sizes.
In hindsight, it was a little sad I hadn’t figured this out earlier. The spear could already be minimized around my wrist, after all. The first night after leaving Staulip and the confrontation with my mother, I’d built a fire in a very convenient hollow at the top of a hill, where the light wouldn’t be seen well, and I didn’t have to worry about monsters too much.
Flying could really be handy sometimes.
I’d been holding Eneus, idly inspecting the weapon, butt against the ground. As I’d turned the spear, I’d wondered aloud, “I wonder how this would handle if it were shorter?” Then my hand had dipped as the shaft had suddenly collapsed downward.
This had led to a few muttered oaths, and a lot of experimentation. I’d discovered that if I let Eneus know my intention, like saying, “shorter,” “longer,” or even just “change size,” I could easily adjust the length of the spear with minimal pressure. I couldn’t find any limit to how long it would grow, but if it were too long, it would be difficult to use. It didn’t grow in weight that much when it grew larger, but it did get heavier.
The next morning, the day looked brighter. Sleeping had done wonders for my mood, helping me reset from the heartache in Staulip. Finding out another feature of my mysterious enchanted spear had been exciting too.
I stood on a tall, rocky crag, overlooking a forest below. In that moment, I decided I would feel grateful for finally having some closure about my past. My first mother’s selfishness would not define me, or my moo
d. I adjusted the straps of my new pack, missing my old bag of holding, but shrugged. Maybe I could find another one later.
That thought started me thinking about the uncertainty of my future, which threatened to ruin my decent mood, so I got busy traveling and training. Today would be a good day to work on my Flight ability. I hadn’t truly pushed my limits since I’d gotten my new Air Element ability, and today seemed as good as any other to do so.
In the past, I’d had trouble flying at top speed because the wind made it hard to breathe and to see. Now that I could create wind screens and shields, this wasn’t a problem anymore.
I climbed high into the morning sky, feeling thankful that the weather seemed to be cooperating with my plans for the most part. As I ascended, I looked down at the receding ground and idly noted that moving straight up didn’t seem to take more effort than flying normally did.
The view was breathtaking, unlike anything I’d ever seen, right up until I moved past the clouds. I began to feel surprisingly cold, but with an effort of my Air Element ability, I warmed the air directly around me. The sensation still wasn’t comfortable, but I could deal with it.
Up I flew, higher than I’d ever gone before, so high I began to have problems breathing. I pushed even farther past that, only stopping when my intuition told me that any farther would be dangerous.
Then I dove.
I used my new Air Element power to protect me, and to push me faster, even as I strained my Flight power as hard as I could. My weight grew as I adjusted it, which didn’t seem to make me fall any faster, but did help me overcome some of the wind pressure I was starting to feel against my wind screen.
The air hitting my barrier grew thick, becoming so hazy I couldn’t see through it. My speed stabilized, and changing my body weight didn’t seem to do anything other than slowing me down if I made myself too light. Acting on instinct, I played with the shape of the wind screen, turning it from a flat surface ahead of me, to something that looked more like the head of a fish. My speed almost immediately increased.
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