White Soul

by G L Rathweg

  Damn grandma! I thought as I opened my eyes. The only thing I could think of is she lucked the fuck out. Maybe my dad sent her the tree or she bought the grapefruit seeds on accident. But either way it was lucky for us. I collected dozens of the glowing ruby red fruit and piled them up until Dangun was satisfied.

  “The Celestial Grapefruit will refill your Ki and stamina each time you eat one. This will allow you to continue training long past when your body would have given up normally. If you complete this training, you will have elevated your physical body to the peak of its ability, and your stats should reflect that. You will be able to run and jump faster than humanly possible. Your strength will be stronger than that of the strongest of humans.” Dangun explained.

  “Awesome!” I cheered.

  “I wouldn’t be so happy. There are consequences of the fruit. After you stop eating it for a while all the exhaustion and damage you staved off will hit you all at once. Many go insane and quite a few die from the experience. So, let’s start. First, let’s partition your mind.” Dangun said, cheerily as if he never said the last part.

  I swallowed loudly but got my head in the game. There was no going back, I had to do this. I nodded to Dangun to start.

  “To partition your mind, you must split it into two different parts. It is similar to how we interact except I’m a different entity entirely. What you will be doing is taking a part of your mind and splitting it. The part you choose it up to you. But you must split that part off and give it control of your physical body to train. The other part will be your main essence and will control the Cultivation, thus doubling our training time.” Dangun explained.

  “Ok, so just start then?” I asked.

  “Yes boy, drop into Lotus and begin.” Dangun commanded.

  I did as instructed and went back to my Ki Soul. It was relatively quick now, just a few seconds of concentration and I was there sitting in the calming bright white light with my Ki surrounding me. Already this place was comforting to me like my own private Fortress of Solitude.

  “Good, now partition your mind.” Dangun said.

  I sighed and tried to do as he instructed. I just went with what felt natural and pictured myself inside my mind’s mind. Kind of like a Being John Malkovich or Inception thing. A dream within a dream and all that. Once pictured, I imagined all the different aspects of myself, all the different versions of me that I knew I had hidden inside of me.

  All people have different versions of themselves. They have the angry version, happy, sad, jealous, drunken, manic, etc… There are so many different versions of one’s self that it’s actually kind of easy to imagine them. The rub was picking the right one. In my mind’s mind I picture hundreds of different versions of myself sitting in concentric circles around me and then I started deleting the ones I didn’t want to use.

  The first ones to go were my uncontrollable emotions and stupid versions of me. I let the jealous ones go, the addicts went next. After those went the weak and whiny versions. Then the cry babies and naysayers, the negative Nancy’s and I can’t do it bitches went after.

  This went on for a few minutes until I was satisfied that I gotten rid of all the obvious versions that were garbage. I felt really good. It was as if I had purged parts of me that had been weighing down my soul.

  It was cathartic in a way I had never experienced before and made me eager to continue to see if I could keep this healing purge going. I chose the next group to excise and those were the fanatics. The ones who were so adamant about everything. The parts of me that were irrational and unreasonable.

  Next, I tossed the scared and quiet versions, the ones afraid of success and the ones that craved failure. I was down to over half of the different versions whittled away, leaving only the good aspects of me. But I began chopping these away as well. The false armor that we coat ourselves in chipped away bit by bit leaving me raw and exposed.

  That was liberating in its own way as I realized the armor of pretense I had placed around my fragile soul. I had lied to myself for years acting like I was brave, courageous, giving, kind, and altruistic among the many other false ideals. I didn’t stop there and kept going, excising more and more emotions and feelings, more versions of me. I chipped away until I was left with just a small group of us. These were the last ones standing, or rather sitting, in a circle surrounding me.

  We sat in Lotus. All identical versions of me in my Ki Soul. None of us said anything we just stared at each other in silence. The only way to tell the differences between us was by the expressions on our faces.

  After stripping my soul to the bone, the only versions of me left were loyalty, vengeance, hate, and determination.

  “I’m getting a bit tired of sitting here. Get a move on!” Vengeance growled, his face set in a permanent scowl.

  “I agree with the whiny guy, can we hurry this up?” Hate quipped, his own expression one of smiling malice.

  “When you are ready Hiro.” Loyalty said, shaking his head in sorrow at the other two.

  Determination just sat there and stared. His expression was as expected, determined. Then we locked eyes and he just nodded. It was then that I knew who I was deep down in the core of my being. I was about to choose when Hate stood up and spit to the side.

  “Fuck this, I’m gonna choose! Not a little bitch like you!” He hissed, dropping into a fighting stance immediately followed by the rest of us.

  We all leaped up and back, dropping into guard and faced off in a weird Mexican standoff kind of thing. This got out of hand real fast.

  “What the hell guys? I was just about to choose and I was gonna choose…” I started to say.

  “Yes, you were and I for one don’t give two flying fucks about who you choose. It’s every man for himself now. You are no longer in charge.” Hate spat.

  “Although I dislike agreeing with the vile bastard, he is right the strongest shall control us.” Loyalty added.

  “Really? You Loyalty? What happened to you, you know loyalty, being its own reward and shit?” I asked surprised.

  “Needs must.” He replied, with a shrug.

  “Enough talk! Fight, the last man standing is the winner!” Vengeance cried, following his cry with a leaping attack aimed at my chest.

  To my surprise Determination jumped to my aid and intercepted Vengeance.

  “I will handle him.” He said, then the two split off trading blows.

  I turned my attention to the remaining two versions of me.

  “Two on one, what do you say goody two shoes?” Hate asked Loyalty.

  “Sounds like a great idea.” He replied, then tossed me a wink as he leapt at Hate.

  “What the…” Hate exclaimed, taken by surprise but defending the blow at the last second.

  “Ok, that’s a surprise.” I said, standing up from my guard and looking at the two battles going on.

  Not surprisingly, they were all evenly matched. And by evenly matched, I meant they all fought like noobs. It’s not that they weren’t strong, or that they weren’t were using Ki attacks. But it was like watching high school basketball players when you thought you had tickets to an NBA game. It definitely was not a master class. Judging by their skill levels I really needed to learn how to fight.

  I was about to jump in on one of the fights, but I stopped, thinking it through. I sat back down in Lotus and began concentrating while keeping my eyes on the battles. The four were still fighting full out and none were gaining the upper hand. I closed my eyes and when I opened them Hate and Vengeance were gone. Loyalty and Determination turned and bowed formally to me. I stood up and bowed back and they both merged into one being and disappeared.

  Suddenly, my Ki Ocean burst out and began growing and glowing brighter and brighter.

  “You have succeeded in the first part of realizing oneself.” Dangun intoned, appearing at my side.

  I was quiet while my Ki Ocean settled, stopped growing, and the light softened. I closed my eyes and willed my Ki together until it was
the roiling basketball sized storm in my upturned palm.

  “It was good getting to my inner self. It puts many things into perspective.” I finally said.

  “It always does. Did you choose your other self for your partition?” He asked.

  “Yes, but I had to choose two.” I replied.

  “That’s fine but you must combine them into one entity.” He said.

  “It’s already done.” I said.

  Dangun gave me an impressed look then nodded and made a gesture. His Ki shot from his hands and formed a dozen humanoid figures the size of a large dog. The figures themselves were like little unisex mannequins. Kind of like the ones that artists used but made of glowing blue Ki energy. Dangun pointed at each mannequin and they began moving in turn. I watched for a moment and saw that each one was doing an exercise of some sort.

  “Summon your other self.” He instructed.

  I closed my eyes then opened them and gestured across from me. My combination Loyalty and Determination appeared and bowed to me and Dangun, respectively.

  “Learn these exercises and then take control of the body and perform them. You must do these nonstop in order while running continuously. Every time you complete a circuit of one mile you must consume a Celestial Grapefruit and continue. You must not rest for anything. Go as hard as you can. Understood?” Dangun asked.

  “Yes, Ancient One.” Both said and bowed.

  “Good, remember the Celestial Grapefruit can only be used at night during the full moon. That means you will have to make it through the day on your own. Now go.” He commanded.

  The two nodded to me and then disappeared from my Ki Ocean. Dangun pointed to me and I raised an eyebrow.

  “Now it’s our turn.” He said, with a smile that while not quite evil wasn’t reassuring at all.

  We were standing and staring at a random part of my Ki Ocean. I looked askance at Dangun who had been quiet for the last minute. He nodded to himself then pointed, his Ki shooting out creating a large ovular portal in the middle of my Ki Ocean. Inside the portal was a swirling greyness that was mesmerizing and almost hypnotic.

  “Follow me I will be your guide but you will be doing all the work. Do exactly as I say and always be on your guard. Things in the Spirit Realm can kill you the same as in the Human Realm. As soon as we are there I will have a portion of my power back and I will take control.” Dangun said, solemnly.

  “Deity mode got it.” I replied, psyching myself up internally for this.

  “Ok, here we go.” Dangun said, then jumped into the portal.

  I swallowed and took a mental breath and leaped into the spinning grey morass.

  Then I fell… and I screamed... and I fell and screamed some more. The second I entered the portal I began falling through this vortex of spinning insanity. If you have ever played the game Dragon Slayer or seen the introduction to the 1980’s Dungeons and Dragons cartoon then you’d know exactly what I was going through.

  After an eternity of falling I was out and floating in a vast technicolored sky where everything was ridiculously colored. There were puffy overly pink clouds that looked just like cotton candy and an electric green sky that was as bright as a blue one back in my reality.

  “Are you better now little lady?” Dangun asked, sarcastically.

  “Hey man, that was scary AF.” I said, trying to salvage my pride.

  “Welcome to the Spirit Realm. Stay close. My power will only extend so far. If you fall out of range you will fall.” He said, flying off.

  ‘How do I…” I began.

  “Just will yourself after me boy.” He called, as if to a child.

  I stuck my tongue out at his flying back and then did as he said. A moment later I was flying up beside Dangun and marveling at the scenery unfolding before me from my bird’s eye view.

  From our position thousands of feet up, I could see for hundreds of miles in all directions. I saw almost every type of terrain imaginable. I’m talking huge lava spewing mountains where the lava was florescent purple to legit dessert forests. Yeah, dessert not desert, with candy lollipop trees and cookie bushes. I saw a river that looked to be running with milk chocolate. At least, that’s what Dangun said it was. He called it a honeyed cacao river or whatever.

  Beyond the amazing different landscapes were the denizens of the realm itself. It was as if there was every single type of mythological or fantastical spirit I’d ever read, seen, or heard about was here, or at least versions that I associated with them. Massive dragons of the eastern and western varieties flew around like jetliners. Giant birds of prey and other things, likes weird octopus looking animals and big fluffy looking oxen creatures joined them in the domain of the air.

  We passed floating cities on islands in the sky along with underwater kingdoms. I could see them through the crystal clear orange colored waters of the Atlantean-esque realms. While some fish and other sea creatures were normal, others were straight out of a Lovecraftian fantasy. Those fuckers were going to give me nightmares. None of these places were our destination and we kept on going until we reached the scariest place that I could imagine. And of course, Dangun started to descend.

  TRACK 11 – DOWN UNDER – MEN AT WORK

  We landed in a clearing among the ugliest, meanest, vilest, looking trees I’d ever imagined.

  “Are we in a haunted forest?” I asked, hoping I masked the trepidation in my voice.

  “Of course it is, Captain Obvious. Doesn’t it look like one?” Dangun answered.

  “So, like ghosts and skeletons? Shit like that?” I squeaked.

  “Yes, yes, and yes. Don’t tell me you’re afraid of ghosts and goblins?” Dangun asked, incredulously.

  “Well…” I answered, with a shrug.

  “Boy we are fighting thousands of years old demons! Get your head on straight and have some blasted perspective and grow up.” Dangun snapped at me.

  I looked at the old man a little hurt, but a new voice interrupted my self-pity and I turned to see a beautiful woman.

  “I see you are as crotchety as always you old pervert.” She said, in a voice like flowing honey.

  My eyes pretty much fell out of my head and my jaw dropped to the ground. She was angelic, a goddess, a walking talking piece of art she was…

  “Oh, knock it off mother.” Dangun said, rolling his eyes.

  “Mother?” I squeaked.

  “I don’t look so bad for a mom right dear?” The unbelievably sexy woman purred, flashing me a look that almost made me cum in my pants.

  “Yes, yes you do, if he saw your real visage he’d not be reacting like the teenage boy he is, you old she bear.” Dangun joked, walking around the clearing and checking some things I couldn’t see.

  “Old she bear?” I asked, as if my mind was coming out of a fog.

  “Dammit boy, you are a terrible son! Give your mother a bit of fun you wretched child!” The beautiful woman said, her voice turning to an old lady’s cackle mixed with a bear’s growl, quickly followed by her body beginning to morph into a crazy combination of the two.

  My chubby went away like cake at a weightwatchers reunion as I watched a crazy American Werewolf in London scene unfold before me. When she was done transforming, I was surprised that she had become a cute and cuddly bear humanoid hybrid. Her kimono fit and she looked wonderfully comfortable in that form. I could tell it was her real self. She sighed and looked at me appraisingly, almost as if one would appraise a horse, I imagined. I’d never actually appraised a horse before.

  “He looks fun for a night son but not one to last a long time. What are you doing bringing something as frail as this to the Spirit Realm?” She asked after a moment, her tone much more serious.

  Dangun had finished inspecting the clearing and nodded to himself satisfied with his work then walked back over to us. The three of us were in the center of the clearing. He made some gestures and the ground began rumbling and shaking. I looked around panicked but saw that Dangun and his mom were acting totally normal, so I
did as well. Or at least I faked it.

  When the ground finished shaking and the world, or rather the Spirit World, returned to normal, we were standing in sand surrounded by a cement ring almost the size of the entire clearing.

  “You really intend to put him through this?” Dangun’s mother asked.

  “Yes Ungnyeo, there is no other choice.” Dangun replied.

  “I’ve told you a million times call me mother or mom.” Ungnyeo scolded her son.

  “Summon the Sannin mother.” Dangun asked, gruffly.

  “Now, ask nicely dear.” Ungnyeo replied, with faux sweetness in her voice.

  It was kind of entertaining to witness he sarcastic, saccharine tone on the face of the bear woman.

  “My dear adopted spirit mother, will you please summon the Sannin? Time is of the essence as this boy’s life and the life of his woman and grandmother are at stake.” Dangun said, with all the faux sincerity and sweetness he could inject.

  “You were always an overly dramatic child.” Ungnyeo said, with a scowl.

  “No, please Ung… um, Ungn…” I interjected, trying to say Dangun’s mother’s name.

  “Just call me Mother, dear.” Ungnyeo said, sweetly.

  “Mother, thank you that is much easier. But please, Dangun is not lying please help us, time is short.” I asked, with all the sincerity I could muster and bowing for added effect.

  “You could learn something from the boy’s manners Dangun.” Mother said, then tossed me a wink.

  She turned and raised her paws to her mouth letting out an earthshattering roar. Mother lowered her hands with a self-satisfied smile as her roar echoed throughout and around the haunted forest. Birds and other animals of took off in fear, so many so that the sky went dark for a moment as if there was an eclipse and the trees shook from their passage.