Unravelling

by Josephine Boxwell

  1 9 9 4

  MAMMA WOULD HAVE been very suspicious of a strange car acting strangely, but she wasn’t around when the old station wagon rolled up as Elena walked home from school. Elena had to turn her head fully to see the car that crawled up beside her; her hood was pulled up against the biting wind. It was blue-ish with wooden panels on its sides and crumbling rust patches along the bottom. Instead of passing, it matched her stride.

  Elena picked up her pace, keen to get inside her safe, warm home. As the car crept alongside her, she heard the window being wound down. The driver leaned across the passenger seat and stared at her. The woman looked like a witch; smiling but snarling at the same time.

  “I heard you like stories,” she growled. Elena struggled to place this unfamiliar person who seemed to know her. The driver smile-snarled again, revealing a mouthful of wandering teeth.

  “I got a couple to tell.” The woman nodded toward the back of the car. “Get in.”

  Elena knew better than that. She was only a couple of houses from home. She bolted.

  She flew into the driveway and the car pulled in right behind her. Bursting into the house, she slammed the door shut and locked it.

  “Rob! A stranger followed me home.” She was out of breath and red-faced when Rob came into the hallway. He looked concerned, but he spoke through a mouthful of sandwich, breadcrumbs dotting his shirtfront. “Is he out there now?” He moved towards the door as if investigating but stuffed another big bite into his mouth so his jaw had to work overtime to get through it all. He was always eating. Mamma said it was his age.

  “It’s a she. She told me to get in her car.”

  Rob frowned. A hard rap on the door. They looked at each other. He would have to deal with it since Mamma wasn’t home. He shooed Elena behind him and opened the door a crack. Elena stayed close enough to listen.

  “What do you want?” he said with a grunt, trying for tough.

  “I’m your gramma. Don’t leave me standin’ out in the cold. Lemme in.”

  It wasn’t Nonna. It couldn’t be. Mamma said Nonna had died. Anyway, Nonna was a lady, Elena could tell by the photographs. She wore elegant dresses. She spoke Italian. Her teeth were straight. Rob was suspicious too; he didn’t budge.

  “What’s your name ... gramma?” he asked.

  “You think you’re a smart one, do ya? Audrey Reid. Let me in before I freeze my ass off.”

  That was Dad’s mom’s name. That’s about all they knew. Rob looked back at Elena and opened the door, slowly. Audrey stepped inside and looked around the little hallway. Elena kept a safe distance between herself and the stranger. Rob walked ahead into the living room, but Audrey wandered around the house as though she had come to inspect the property. She opened doors and peered into their bedrooms. She made a small sound as she peeked into their tiny bathroom. Elena couldn’t tell whether or not she approved. Audrey marched straight into the kitchen and looked out the window at the river. Elena wanted to ask if she was here about Dad, but it didn’t seem like the right moment to ask questions. Rob was shifting his feet uncomfortably. He didn’t know what to do either. They’d never had family come to visit.

  “Do you want a drink?” he asked Audrey.

  “Whaddya got?”

  “Water.”

  “Generous of ya.”

  Audrey strode to the living room and sat on the sofa. Elena sat in the chair opposite and watched her curiously. Mousy brown hair was pinned back above her ears and the rest hung to her shoulders. She wasn’t old old. In fact she looked quite young for a grandma. Her face was tight and serious but fat bulged out around her waist. Dad had light brown hair but a lot of people had brown hair. Audrey was also quite short and Elena wondered if her own shortness came from her grandma and not Mamma. Luckily, she hadn’t inherited her teeth.

  Rob put a glass of water on the table. Audrey ignored it and he wouldn’t sit down. The two of them were engaged in some kind of stand-off. He folded his arms and stared at her as though waiting for an explanation.

  “You kids aren’t very friendly, are ya? I figured you’d be pleased to meet your gramma.”

  Elena wanted to try out a smile, but she decided it was safer to follow Rob’s lead. They needed to stay united. She might be their grandma, but there was a reason Dad never wanted her around. If she was a normal person, they would’ve visited, the way other families visited each other.

  Rob tried for a stony look as he stared at Audrey. “We don’t know anything about you.”

  “Well, now’s your chance.”

  Elena did want to know about her, even if she was a bit scary. “Dad said you live up north.”

  “That’s right.”

  Audrey didn’t elaborate, which stumped them both. She got up and picked up a photograph from the bookshelf. It was a picture of their family taken a few years earlier. They were camping. Dad had set the camera on a tree stump and then rushed in so he was a blur in the photo and it looked like he was about to bowl them all over. Most people smiled when they saw that photo. From Audrey, nothing. She put it back on the shelf.

  Elena opened her mouth and she caught Rob’s scowl signalling her to remain silent. She ignored him.

  “Why haven’t you ever come to visit us before?”

  “We live far away.”

  “You and Dad’s dad?”

  “That’s right.”

  “But you could’ve come once.”

  “Me and Jim run a farm. We don’t travel much. We got the animals to look after. And Curtis decided a long time ago that we weren’t welcome.”

  “Why not?”

  “Oh, old family drama. Doesn’t even matter now.”

  Rob was growing impatient. “Why are you here?” he asked in his best manly tone.

  “The cops got ahold of me,” she said. “They thought I might know where my son’s been hidin’ out.”

  Rob shot Elena another warning look; one that meant Elena shouldn’t get her hopes up.

  “My son? I thought to myself, now who do they mean? I got three sons. They said they were after Curtis. I told ’em they must be mistaken. Curtis is a good boy. It must be one of the other two. But then I figured maybe he’s changed now he’s got himself a wife with a pole up her ass. Maybe he has to find other ways to let off steam.”

  That got Rob’s back up. Redness flooded his cheeks. “You should leave.”

  Audrey wasn’t intimidated by him. She didn’t even acknowledge what he said or the way he’d puffed out his chest like he was a tough guy. She just kept talking. “But then they told me it was serious. They told me about this explosion and I told ’em no, none of my boys would ever do a thing like that.”

  Audrey settled back into the sofa, getting comfortable. Rob didn’t do anything. He just kept scowling, and Audrey kept talking.

  “I don’t know where Curtis is, but I’ve come here to find him and I will find him, so if there’s anything you kids wanna tell me, now would be a good time.”

  Elena wondered if it was weird to feel so uncertain about your own grandma. Weren’t they supposed to love each other? She wasn’t sure if that was possible. In any case, it was a relief to finally hear somebody else say it was about time they did something. “How are you going to find him?” she asked.

  Rob glared at Elena as though she’d switched sides.

  Audrey smiled. “You leave that part to me.”

  Audrey looked at Elena curiously, and then at Rob. “What did he tell you about me?”

  Elena piped in before Rob could stop her. “He said his family were dinks.”

  “Well ... now you get to decide for yourselves, don’t ya?”

  “Do you miss him?”

  Audrey stared at Elena again and then looked away. Audrey wasn’t as tough as she liked to make out. “Course I do. He’s my son.” She looked out of the window. “But we never had what you’d call a good relationship.”

  “Did you ever meet my mom?”

  “Once. At their wedding.”
/>   “Did you meet Nonno?”

  “Who?”

  Rob sighed. “She means Mom’s dad. His name is Massimo.”

  “No. I didn’t meet your mom’s folks. Curtis and Giulia got married after ...”

  Elena desperately wanted Audrey to finish her sentence, but the front door opened. Audrey stood as Mamma came in. Mamma’s jaw dropped.

  “Giulia, good to see you. It’s been a while.”

  “What are you doing here?”

  “I’m concerned about my son. I’ve come to help,” Audrey said gently, much more nicely than she’d spoken to the two of them.

  “We don’t need your help. Please leave.”

  Mamma rarely spoke so abruptly, to anyone. Even when she obviously disliked someone, she found a subtler way to get rid of them. Mamma’s reaction to Audrey only made “gramma” more mysterious.

  “Don’t worry kids. I’ll find him,” Audrey assured them. She moved slowly out of the living room and through the hallway as though she were a fragile old lady, but Elena knew it was an act. She was putting it on for Mamma, just like she put on the niceness. She wanted Mamma to think she was a harmless old woman, but it wasn’t working.

  Mamma closed the door behind her and leaned against it. Elena stood in the hallway and watched her recover. “Don’t open the door to that woman again!” Mamma said.

  When Dad talked about his family, rarely and using few words, they seemed distant and barely real. Mamma treated Audrey, the only other family member Elena and Rob had ever met, as though she was dangerous. Elena decided there and then that she would find a way to speak with Audrey again. At least she would answer questions, unlike Mamma.

  Elena went to her room and lay down and thought about it for a while. The more she thought about it, the angrier she got—not with Audrey, but with Mamma. Audrey said she was going to do something. Mamma didn’t even pretend she was going to try. Mamma was too scared to try.

  “Frank offered me a job at the Inn. Part-time.” Mamma made the announcement casually as the three of them sat around the table.

  “Frank?”

  Rob dropped his fork on his plate and Elena leapt out of her chair.

  “But you hate Frank!” she said. “And he lied about picking up those guys in the forest.”

  “I don’t hate Frank. We just don’t have much in common, that’s all,” Mamma responded defensively. “You can’t keep accusing him, Elena. The police are doing everything they can ...”

  “The cops think Dad’s guilty! But they’re wrong and you know they’re wrong so why don’t you do something about it?”

  “Don’t talk to me like that!”

  “Maybe he’s scared! Maybe if we tried to find him ...”

  “I’m doing my best to keep this family together, Elena. We have bills to pay. And what exactly do you expect me to do that the police aren’t doing?”

  “You just have to listen! Nobody is listening.”

  Elena left her food and ran to her bedroom. There were lots of clues, Elena could see that, so why couldn’t Mamma? In the middle of everything that didn’t make sense, there was Frank offering Mamma a job when he could’ve hired anyone in Stapleton. Why did Frank want to help Mamma out? Most people were avoiding them and blaming Dad for the explosion. She still couldn’t figure out if Frank was on their side or not.

  Mamma started her new job on a Tuesday evening. She left them at the house with popcorn and pop. Rob was in charge. It was alright. They watched a movie and he didn’t care when Elena went to bed as long as Mamma thought she was asleep when she came home.

  Sometimes Mamma allowed Elena to come to the Inn while she worked. The Inn was full of fossils, not like Mary’s fossils, but still, everything Frank owned was old. The TV in the breakfast room had a fake wood casing and went snowy a lot. The kitchen microwave was probably one of the first microwaves ever made; a white box with a dial that looked like it belonged on a safe. But Elena didn’t get a proper look in there because the cook shooed her out.

  She recognized the embroidered armchair occupying the reception area. Frank had sunk into it after she accused him of being in the forest. She settled into it and picked at the faintly smelly fibres but it offered up no clues.

  Elena was not successful in uncovering Frank’s secrets, but each time she visited he seemed more himself and his place felt more familiar, like Ken’s café. Mamma seemed more relaxed about working there too, and she treated Frank differently, not as a friend, but not like someone she’d cross the street to avoid. Rob would usually show up whenever there was a meal on offer and Mamma popped into the breakfast room on her breaks to make sure they weren’t causing any trouble. One thing that Elena liked about spending time at the Inn was that everyone seemed content just doing what they were doing. It was harder at home because Dad was supposed to be there and he wasn’t.

  Father Craig gave the briefest sermon he’d ever given and most of the congregation rushed home without bothering to exchange words over coffee and cookies. Today was Game Day. BC Lions versus Baltimore. Dad’s team had reached the Grey Cup Final and someone else would be watching it on his fancy TV.

  Elena couldn’t stand being in the house. Their little living room overwhelmed her brain with memories of him sitting alone or with Ken, tuned into the games so intently that the world around them didn’t exist. Cheering. Cursing. Shouting players’ names and criticizing poor decisions.

  Mamma agreed to let Elena hang out at the Inn, as long as Rob came by to walk her home after the game ended. The cook switched the TV on for her in the breakfast room but Elena got up and switched it off again. She tried reading a book but the noise from the bar made it hard to focus on the words. She flicked through the images in a fashion magazine that someone had left in the lobby.

  The Inn was packed and Elena wondered how Mamma could bear it, surrounded by TVs blaring Dad’s game. The roars and disappointment moved in waves through the thin walls.

  The Lions won and the excitement turned into a cacophony. Elena laid her head on the table and let her dark hair fall over her face so no one could tell she was crying. Dad said they would win. She wasn’t sure why it made her feel so sad.

  Saturday. Mamma had time off and apparently Frank had some free time too because he drove them into Stony Creek so they could get some shopping done. Rob got very quiet when Mamma mentioned it, but they hadn’t had a chance to get out of town since the mill explosion, so he came with them.

  The whole trip made Elena think of Dad. It was the first time they had driven past the sawmill since the explosion. Frank sped up as they went by it, but she had time to see the black and broken core of it fly by her window. It looked just like it did on the TV news and nothing like the place she remembered. The main building was a twisted skeleton coated in black.

  Some of the surrounding buildings had survived, but even they looked weirdly out of place. They no longer had any purpose. They were as useless as the piles of untouched, stacked timber. Mamma brushed her eyes but no one said anything.

  They drove in silence until they reached the scummy little pond by the edge of the highway—another landmark that reminded her of Dad. Crusted white soda deposits edged the pond, and every time they drove by it, he used to threaten to stop the car and throw her in. He said if she touched the white crust trying to climb out she would turn into a Sasquatch. Rob was staring intensely out the window—Dad said the same thing to him when he was younger.

  “You’re turning into a Sasquatch!” she said, pointing at the fuzz that was building up around Rob’s upper lip and the sides of his face. He batted her hand away angrily. Then he leaned between the front seats.

  “When are we getting our truck back?”

  Mamma turned and looked at him. “Whenever the police are done with it.”

  He sat back again and sulked.

  As they neared the city, they could see the river winding through the houses below, blue and still. The roads widened and got busier until cars were flying all around Fra
nk’s old truck. He pulled into a parking lot.

  It was weird, walking around the mall with a man Mamma had always avoided, just like they used to walk around the mall with Dad. Rob hung back, not wanting to be seen with any of them.

  Rob needed new shoes because his toes were about to burst out of his Air Jordans. Mamma said she couldn’t afford to buy him another pair of those, so they trailed around the budget shoe shop until Rob finally caved. They went back to the sports store and he bought himself a pair of Nikes with a chunk of his paper route savings.

  Frank didn’t get involved; he just stood around until they were ready to go home, which was exactly what Dad used to do. As they were walking out of the mall, Frank told Rob he was becoming a man now, spending his own hard-earned money. Rob just huffed at him, and then said: “If you didn’t want to buy anything, why didn’t you stay in the truck?” Mamma told him to stop being so rude.

  “Is Mamma dating Frank?”

  It took Elena a while to ask him. She was worried Rob might get angry with her just for bringing it up, and she was also worried about what his answer might be. It wasn’t that she believed the gossip, it was just that the idea of it, Mamma with someone else, didn’t feel right at all. It was a stupid thing to ask. Mamma would never do that. Anyway, Dad was coming home soon.

  “Who said that?” Rob said.

  She had his attention. They were eating dinner together because Mamma was still at work.

  “Some kids at school.”

  It was Kathryn who’d said it, not directly to Elena but to her girl gang when Elena was close enough to hear. “I heard Frank and Elena’s mom are doing it!” The other girls shrieked and chorused “eewww!” and stared at Elena. She pretended not to hear them.

  “Don’t listen to them,” Rob said. “People are pissed because Mom’s got a job and they don’t.”

  They heard the key in the front door. Mamma had come home. Rob let his forkful of mac and cheese sit halfway between his plate and his mouth. He put his fork back down and left the table and went into his room and slammed the door.

  Mamma came into the kitchen. “What was that all about?”