Dirty Little Secret

by Wood, Vivian

  Pressing my forehead against the glass, I sigh wistfully.

  He’s just so… dreamy. Darkly handsome, effortlessly cool. There is something so attractive about him, and it’s not just his looks. He’s just a bright, shiny ball of hot man, rolling through this entire world. And I’m not the only one who thinks so.

  There are always women around him, buzzing like flies. While there isn’t anyone at this moment, I am sure that his next conquest is right around the corner.

  Honestly, I would practically kill to be the next in line. But I’m relegated to being his best friend’s little sister forever. That’s just the way it is, I guess.

  Besides, he’s too busy to even look in my direction.

  In the four days that I’ve been here now, Aiden has had his hands full with projects. Hammering down the loose floorboards on the front porch. Clearing the yard of debris. Now he’s working on scraping the whole outside of the house clean, taking off years of grimy paint.

  Tasks that have required him to be outside, away from my dusty little corner of the house. For my part, I have kept an eye out. Hell, I’ve even worked my way through the piles, edging everything back just enough so I can now see out of one window.

  Pathetic, I know. But my hard work was rewarded when Aiden stopped outside this morning and stripped off his shirt. I looked at that magnificent chest he revealed, those well-muscled arms and that very defined back…

  I have to fan myself with papers every time I so much as glance outside. Since then, I’ve been trying to work around my own drool. I tell myself that it makes more sense for me to approach tackling this room starting by the window and working toward the door.

  Rolling my eyes at myself, I set myself some rules. I can only look out the window every half an hour, and then only for a minute. Otherwise this room will always be a wreck.

  So I make myself work. I have to remember that I’m actually here doing the job that I love… or I will be, once I sort through all these papers and books. I wear a dust mask, which protects me from the worst of the dust and debris as I work.

  There are newspapers stuffed in with the papers, I think to commemorate the date. Either that or the original collector was a crazy hoarder. I vacillate between those two truths, especially when I realize that a fair amount of the paper is trash. Scrap paper, old gambling receipts, or unimportant ancient invoices for things like lawn services. Interestingly, at least two of the stacks have books of stamps at the bases.

  Why stamps? Did this person think that they would someday be worth something eventually? I legitimately have a hard time getting into their headspace when I find stuff like this.

  I’m all the way in the corner of the room, standing on a ladder and piling what looks like a bunch of forty-year-old mail into a pile. Aiden calls out to me from the doorway, although I can't see him.

  “Hey Olive?” he calls. Then he stops and sneezes at all the dust I’m kicking up. My heart seizes up at the sound of his voice.

  “Hold on!” I call back. “Let me come around to you.”

  I climb down the ladder then shimmy around the very outskirts of the stacks of books. Pressing myself tight against the wall at one point, I manage to make it back without upsetting any of the stacks. Then I see him, unfortunately wearing his dark shirt once more. I step out into the hall and Aiden looks me up and down and grins.

  When he speaks, the timbre of his deep voice makes the hairs on my arms stand up.

  “I was going to ask if you want to ride to town with me, but now I don't know if I should,” he jokes.

  I glance down at the ocean blue dress I’m wearing, a little distressed. I’m covered in dirt and grime, from the top of my head down to my once-white saddle shoes.

  “I could look a little better,” I agree. Then I eye his equally grungy state. He’s clearly been working outside all day. “I don't think you can judge me, honestly.”

  Aiden’s mouth kicks up at the corner, making my heart flutter. I remember suddenly why I’m infatuated with him. It’s moments just like this.

  He looks over his shoulder. “That’s true. Do you want to come grab a burger with me?”

  Like… a date? I know that’s not what he means, but I can’t help myself. My heart speeds up. My mouth goes dry, so I just nod.

  “Ladies first,” he says, motioning toward the door.

  Still tongue tied, I walk out of the house. Aiden is right behind me, touching my elbow to guide me toward where his Jeep is parked.

  “My car is hidden on the other side of those woods,” he says with a nod in that direction. I slide him a glance as we head that way, trying to pinpoint my feelings about him at that moment.

  I long for him to just look at me for a moment and then grab me and kiss me hard. I’m not sure that counts as a feeling, but…

  He looks so damnably good right now, his dark hair in disarray so it falls just so over his forehead. Looking at the way his shirt is sticking to his skin a little makes me want to press my legs tightly together.

  As we get into his Jeep, I bite my bottom lip. The whole cab smells like him, earthy clean male overlaid with traces of hard labor. It should repulse me, but instead it just makes me want him more.

  God, why am I so hard up for him right now? I need to think of something else.

  Anything else.

  Rolling down my window as he starts driving the Jeep down the bumpy driveway, I stick my head out the window for a second. The warm summer breeze buffets my face. We drive like that for a while in silence before he says anything.

  “What are you thinking about?” Aiden asks, looking at me idly.

  You, I want to say. But I don’t. My cheeks start burning. The seat belt over my chest feels restrictive suddenly.

  “Nothing. I was just… um… wondering what I’m going to find in the archives next,” I lie. It’s not the best lie. Not even a good one.

  His brows rise a little, but thankfully he doesn’t press me. Instead, he teases me.

  “Are you really that bored? Hmm? I take you away from your books and already you’re daydreaming about what you’ll find? Am I that uninteresting?”

  God, of course he took it personally.

  My cheeks go red. “No! I didn’t… I mean…”

  Aiden grins at me. “I’m just kidding, Olive. You need to learn how to relax. Take up a hobby. Kitesurf, maybe. Me, I listen to records in my downtime.”

  The image of him, changing the record and then sitting in solitude washes over me. My embarrassment starts to fade.

  “That sounds nice.” I clear my throat. “I like to read.”

  He gives his head a little shake in response. He’s undoubtedly thinking that I’m a huge nerd. But he doesn’t comment, for which I am thankful.

  He looks out his window just as we emerge from the woods. Beyond him, I see the ocean appear over the cliff we’re driving on, the sky and sea breathtaking in their simple beauty.

  “Wow,” I murmur. “That view is really something. I forget that we are so close to the sea, and then… boom. Endless blue waves, as far as the eye can see.”

  Aiden surveys me. “Yeah, the view is pretty unforgettable.”

  I blush and look away, though I’m not sure why. He clears his throat.

  “Are you out here permanently? Like… did you move out here?”

  My eyes fixed on the road ahead, I nod. “Yeah. It was a tough decision, moving away from my mom. But I think it was the right one.”

  He readjusts how he’s sitting, sprawling his right arm out across the gap between our seats. His fingers rest just behind my head, which makes me tense.

  “Have you heard from your mom lately? The last thing Grayson told me was a few years ago. Maybe your high school graduation or something. She went missing right before?” He frowns, trying to remember.

  I remember all too well. “Yeah. That was almost exactly four years ago. Grayson was… well, he was back, but he wasn’t in any state to come to my graduation. So I just went alone. Mom turned
up a few weeks later, strung out on drugs and already apologizing.” I wrinkle my nose. “She’ll never change. I’ve come to accept that.”

  Aiden draws a breath. “I’m sorry, Olivia.”

  I shrug. “It’s okay. It was just a high school graduation. And Grayson did come to my college graduation a few months ago.”

  There are a few seconds of silence. I swallow and look over at Aiden.

  “I know we kind of talked about this already, but… why are you here?” I scrutinize him. “And please don't just shut me down with something about why you aren’t working for the National Park Service. I mean… how did you find this specific place?”

  His jaw tenses and he looks away out over the ocean. When he speaks, his words sound almost taut. “My mom died.”

  My eyebrows fly up. He almost says it like he’s confessing something, even though he hasn’t done anything wrong at all.

  God. My heart goes out to him immediately. “What? Oh, Aiden… I am so sorry.” I pause, thinking. “When?”

  He clears his throat and shifts in his seat. “Three months ago.”

  I can’t help but reach out and touch his arm ever so lightly. The contact seems surprising to him, because he jumps at the feeling of my hand. He’s not looking at me, seeming preoccupied with looking out his window.

  “I’m so sorry. I had no idea,” I say, my voice low and raspy.

  A shiver runs through Aiden. He seems as emotional as I’ve ever seen him, his eyes have gone dark and his whole body is clenched. Still, I’m sure he is repressing the bulk of whatever he feels. That seems to be the way that the Navy trains men to be, judging by my big brother.

  “Yeah, well.” He draws in a breath. “She spent some time at the estate when she was younger. So I’m just… trying to find out what that was like, I guess. The Morgans have no idea who I am, though.”

  “I see.” I lick my lips. “Thank you for confiding in me.” I pause. “Um… what was your mother’s name? Where did she come from? Maybe I can keep an eye out and see if she’s mentioned in any of the family history.”

  This a little white lie… I already know her name is… no, was Anna. When I was a preteen girl, I learned everything I could about Aiden from afar. The names of his entire family, what kind of pet he had as a child, his favorite flavor of ice cream.

  I’ll need to know this stuff for when we’re married, I would tell myself. I blush as I think of it now.

  Yep, it’s definitely way better just to act like I’m in the dark about that one.

  Aiden’s lips lift at the corners. “Her name was Anna. And she was from Princeton, I think.”

  He’s trying to be closer to his mother, though that is left unsaid. Silence stretches between us as I piece the information he’s given me into the jigsaw puzzle that is his mosaic portrait. I give his arm a final squeeze, tension crackling in the air between us. Then I draw my hand back, turning to look out the window.

  He doesn’t resist. He is somber, brooding even. It’s a side of him that I haven’t seen that much of before. I have to admit, it’s an alluring look for him.

  Then again, what isn’t?

  It’s not long before we reach the burger joint. I’m sort of hoping that he will shift out of the strange mood he’s in. Maybe he’ll park and we’ll go inside, maybe we’ll flirt and tease.

  But it seems that’s not the case. He just pulls up to the drive through window, orders without consulting me, and picks up the food. He hands it over to me wordlessly, then starts driving us home.

  And I just sit there, clutching the paper bag, feeling stymied. A braver woman would use this to open Aiden up, probably. She would find his gooey center and maybe his heart too.

  Alas, I’m not that woman. So I just smile when we get back to the house.

  “Thanks for taking me,” I try.

  “No problem.” He plucks his burger and fries out of the bag in my hands. “I’ll see you later.”

  Then Aiden heads off into the woods, leaving me watching after him uncertainly.

  Chapter Nine

  Olivia

  “I can’t believe you do this as your job,” I huff, adjusting my backpack straps for the hundredth time. It’s the weekend. I made a lot of noise about making Aiden take me deep into the wilderness, in theory to hike up Mount Olympus. Or if not Mount Olympus, a little replica, more suited to my hiking skills. It sounded nice and refreshing.

  In reality though, it’s sweaty and hard, and we are only a little way up the base of the mountain. Surrounded by pine trees and rocky, upward-sloping terrain, I am pretty sure that my lungs are just going to stop working at any moment.

  Besides that, my feet hurt and my back is killing me. God, why does anyone do this recreationally?

  Aiden looks back at me. He’s been grumpy all morning but now, the clouds part and he gives me a grin. “Are you suddenly realizing your physical limits, Olive?”

  Out of breath, I wave at him to slow down. “Let’s take a break.”

  He slows but doesn’t stop. “If you can just make it a little further, there is a great resting place. I promise it will be worth your while.”

  I glare at him, but keep moving. He turns back toward the sloping trail. I just focus on keeping my feet moving. We travel in complete silence for a few minutes, other than the sound of my labored breathing.

  “Do you hear that?” he asks.

  I shift my focus to listening. I hear a bird chirping. I hear our footsteps.

  Narrowing my eyes, I think that there is something else too. Something low and loud, growing with every step we take. Sort of a whooooooosh sound.

  “What is that?” I ask.

  Aiden grins over his shoulder. “You’re about to find out.”

  Then with a last few giant steps, he comes to a part of the trail that flattens out. He stands aside, ushering me up into a huge clearing. I blink as I look around; he wasn’t kidding about this being a good resting place. There are picnic tables to my left. The trail continues down the middle of the clearing. And to my right, there are several informational signs… right before a rushing stream trips over a number of boulders.

  That explains the sound, which is so much louder up here.

  “Whoa,” I breathe, pulling my backpack off. I let it fall to the pine needle covered ground with a soft thud. Catching my breath will take some time but as I look around, I’m glad that I’m doing it here.

  “I told you,” Aiden says with a grin.

  “You did,” I agree. “You’re a man of your word.”

  Leaving my backpack there, I trail over to where the river and the rocks are. To my surprise, the earth simply stops there, leaving the water to rush down almost fifty feet and land at the bottom with a crash. It’s awesome, being able to look down from up here.

  Aiden grabs my backpack and finds a comfortable spot on the table as I continue to gape at the falls.

  “I’m setting up for lunch,” he calls. “I don't know about you, but I’m fucking starving.”

  I look over my shoulder to see him perching on top of one of the picnic tables. “I’m always hungry,” I admit with a shrug.

  Backing away from the waterfall, I stop at the informational signs. Wrapped in thick plastic, they are yellowed and warped, the wood that holds them up gray and sagging. Reaching out to touch one, I think about how much work it was to get them all up the trail and I’m thankful for that.

  Snohomish Falls, Memorialized In 1871, I read. Several thousand years ago, when the glaciers receded, they left a fertile plain near Snohomish Falls. When Native Americans arrived, they found a bounty of edible bulbs, roots and berries on the prairie. Deer and mountain goats were plentiful. Though there were no salmon above the falls, the upper Snohomish River became a seasonal rendezvous and meeting place as trade among native peoples increased.

  “I had no idea that these falls were so old!” I call to Aiden.

  Aiden shrugs. “Come get some food. The falls have been there for a thousand years. They’ll st
ill be there when you finish eating.”

  My stomach chooses that moment to gurgle, so I head over to the picnic table. Aiden has spread out crackers, goat cheese, and a container of fresh berries. He also placed a big bag of trail mix between us, the good kind that has lots of cashews and bits of dark chocolate.

  My stomach makes more noises as I sit down at the table, grabbing a cracker and some cheese. The goat cheese is creamy against my tongue, the cracker salty and crisp. Without meaning to, I let out a quiet groan.

  “Oh my god,” I sigh, my mouth full of crumbling cracker bits.

  Aiden smiles, grabbing a handful of berries. “I’ll take that as a good sign? Did I do well?”

  I nod enthusiastically, going for two more crackers. At the same time, I’m already eyeing the trail mix. We eat in silence for a minute. I snag the whole bag of trail mix and funnel a bunch into my mouth.

  The chocolate hits my tongue, so dark it’s almost bitter. But the almonds and cashews balance it out nicely.

  Aiden glances at me with amusement. “Enjoying that trail mix?”

  I blush. “You’ve found me out. I have a weakness for dark chocolate.”

  I try to hand the bag over, but he declines. “Nah. Keep it, if you’re enjoying it so much.”

  “I really am,” I confess. “Thank you for bringing it up here. And for bringing me too.”

  His lips curl up. “It’s nice being here. Even if you’re kind of a baby about hiking.”

  “Hey!” I defend myself. “I did not realize that it would be so hard.”

  I get another cracker and cheese, to reward myself. Aiden chuckles.

  “It’s okay. We’re all bad at something. You can’t hike without complaining, I basically can’t read…” He shrugs his broad shoulders. “To each his own, I guess.”

  The cracker is halfway in my mouth when he makes his crack about not being able to read. I slow it down as I look at him.

  I chew for a moment. “Are you talking about being dyslexic?”

  His face darkens a little and he glances away. “Yeah. I mean, in passing.”

  Tread lightly, his face says. And I’ll obey the best I know how.