Dirty Little Secret

by Wood, Vivian

  I’ve seen enough movies to know that he is about to eat me out. I can feel the excitement building, feel myself growing hotter and wetter every second. His nose tickles the inside of my thigh.

  I can’t help the moan that escapes my lips when he parts my pussy lips with two fingers, blowing delicately on the too-needy flesh he finds there.

  Aiden glances at me, still smirking. “If you like what I’m doing, if you want more of something, I expect you to tell me. Moan, use words, whatever feels right.”

  I don’t know what else to do but nod. As he slowly kisses my pussy, I hold my breath and bury my fingers in his hair. When his tongue circles my clit, a moan bursts from my throat. It feels natural, so I just go for it.

  He sets up a rhythm, licking and sucking, making me as hot as fire. It feels good to rock my hips against his mouth, to whisper yes when he hits the right spot, to throw my head back and let soft sounds leave my throat.

  All the while, he keeps leading me down a path, driving me wilder and wilder with desire, until…

  I climax suddenly, violently. Choking, I feel the vibrations deep within my body ripple out to my breasts, my collarbone, my legs, my fingertips, my toes. Aiden is already kissing his way up my body, getting to his feet. I turn my flushed face up to him, offering him my mouth.

  He takes it greedily, his breath tasting deep and earthy and charged, the flavor a little like putting my tongue on a battery. It’s my taste, I realize with a start. I have a flavor of my very own.

  His hands are everywhere, sliding from my shoulders down to grab my ass, then back up to my breasts. Although I just orgasmed, already I can feel my body preparing for more. I still want him.

  I cling to his shoulders with one arm as I fumble with his jeans with the other, smoothing my fingers down his back to his bare ass. Now I’ve lost some of my shyness, exploring the shape of his ass boldly. It’s dense muscle, lean and smooth just like every other place on his body that I’ve touched.

  Aiden moves back an inch, pushing his jeans down to reveal his cock. Thick and long and nothing short of glorious, his cock jumps at my touch. Curious, I feel the weight of it in my palm.

  He bites his lower lip and allows my inquisitive touch for a moment. When I curl my fingers around his cock and give it an experimental stroke though, he hisses and stops my hand.

  “Not this time, Olive,” he manages, looking a little strangled.

  My eyes widen and I pull my hand back. “Did I hurt you?”

  He chuckles a little, shaking his head. He cups my jaw, looking into my eyes. “No. I just… I have fantasied about this moment so much. I’m already primed and ready to go. It won’t take much to set me off, and I want to be able to last for you.”

  That surprises me. “Oh,” is the only thing I can think of to say, but I have a million questions.

  He’s fantasized about this moment?

  And here I never thought he would give in…

  The next second Aiden puts those thoughts out of my mind by leaning down and kissing me passionately. He pushes me back on the bed more, then takes his cock from my grip and presses the blunt tip against the inside of my thigh. I pull him in with my legs, making him readjust a little until he settles the tip of his length against my slippery core. We both groan in unison as he pushes inside, stretching me out with each inch.

  I grip his shoulders, my nails digging into his flesh. His brow furrows in concentration as he works his length all the way in. It’s a little uncomfortable for me, if I’m honest. Having so much weight crushed against me and being so intimately stretched out is awkward and almost painful.

  But I trust Aiden; he has only brought me pleasure so far. If he says that I’ll like fucking, I undoubtedly will.

  “God damn,” he murmurs. “You are so fucking tight, Olivia.”

  The reverent look on his face excites me. I provide something that he wants, which is new and exhilarating for me.

  “Keep going,” I whisper.

  He looks up at me, a sheen of sweat beginning to break across his forehead. He moves then, slowly pumping his cock in and out of me. I start to feel ripples of pleasure, tentative at first, then more and more certain.

  Aiden takes my breast in one hand, plucking at the nipple. I start to move in time with him, rolling my hips. Little licks of flames start to unfurl themselves deep inside of me, stealing my breath away.

  “Ohh,” I moan. Tossing my head back, I meet his cautious thrusts. He’s being careful with me, but I don't want that. “I want… more. Fuck me harder, Aiden.”

  He stiffens for just a moment, then grabs my hips and pulls me up a few inches. He forgets his hesitant rhythm and starts hammering himself in and out of my pussy. My eyes widen for a second. He starts sweating in earnest, his sweat mixing with my own every single place that my fingers touch.

  Looking at his fierce expression, I’m unsure what I’ve unleashed in him, more beast than man. But at the same time, the ripples of my inner pond are growing in size, becoming chaotic.

  It feels unbelievably good to move my hips in time with each thrust. I focus on that, letting my eyes drift closed, my fingers reaching for my own nipple. Aiden groans and pushes my hand aside, slipping his hand down between us.

  He brushes my clit, the sensation like a live wire. I suddenly feel electrified, moaning and clutching at his shoulders. He punctuates each thrust by stroking my clit.

  “Come for me,” he whispers, his words a plea and a command at once.

  I clench my eyes shut, stretching, reaching for some unknown goal. “Aiden… I…”

  I reach a sudden cliff, running up one side and launching myself off. That’s what coming feels like — falling down a deep, dark crevasse, seizing up, my whole body shaking and clamping down. Feeling a million tiny jolts of sensation overwhelming my entire system, all at once.

  Aiden doesn’t need to ask if I climaxed. I open my eyes and keep my hips moving, trying desperately to breathe. He hammers his cock home at a blistering pace, his movements freeze as he approaches his own peak.

  “God damn,” he whispers, pumping his hips madly. “Fuck, Olivia, you’re making me come…”

  Then he roars, thrusting hard and raggedly a half dozen times. I feel him coming, feel his semen fill me in hot pulses. I can only turn my lips up to his once more.

  Aiden leans down and cups my jaw, kissing me slowly, tenderly. I smile as I kiss him back, feeling at once complete and yet already yearning.

  I don't even know what for until he pulls back, separating us. Then I bite my lip, watching him carefully. He stretches a little and gives me the briefest of smiles.

  Everything is okay. It feels… okay.

  Doesn’t it?

  As he starts buttoning up his jeans, I look for my bra, my thoughts a mess.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Aiden

  Afterwards, as I help Olivia find her clothes, I start to feel a prickling sensation at the nape of my neck. She’s silent as she dresses, probably lost in thought. But I can’t tell what she is thinking or feeling from her expression. It makes me uneasy.

  Do I need to remind her that what we just did needs to stay between us?

  After I button my jeans up, I beckon to her. “Hey. Come here.”

  She slides me a look, biting her lip. But she still comes over, letting me fold her in a one-armed hug. Olivia sighs as her body melts against mine.

  It feels so good, holding her like that. I stop for a second, letting myself rest my nose in her hair. She smells incredible. It makes what I’m about to say that much harder.

  “This was amazing,” I start.

  She tips her head up so I can see her face. She looks at me like a math problem she can’t quite figure out. “Yes, it was.”

  I grip her a little harder. “I just want to make sure it’s going to be a secret between the two of us. It was a one-time thing—”

  Her expression hardens. “Jesus.” She pushes out of my grasp, looking pissed off. “I won’t tell on
you, if that’s what you’re so worried about.”

  My neck heats. I scrub a hand over my face, unsure what to say. My fingers still smell like her, from when I pushed my fingers inside of her. Somehow that makes my gaffe more embarrassing. “I just meant—”

  “I get it,” she says sharply. She bends down to grab her purse from the ground. It’s fully dark now, the moon rising in the window just over her shoulder. She faces me as she gathers her purse, shrugging. “It’s our secret. I’m not going to tell anyone, Aiden. Especially not Grayson. I hope you know that I would never do that.”

  She looks so disappointed right now, it’s almost unbearable. I move to grab her again, but this time she dodges my touch. I am frustrated by her movements.

  If I can just explain myself, make myself clear, then maybe she’ll understand.

  “Olivia—”

  “Seriously, Aiden,” she interrupts. “I do get it. You’re Grayson’s best friend. And we never said there would be any strings attached. Just… you know, stick to what you’re good at.”

  She walks away then, leaving me staring at her as she starts walking out of my bedroom.

  What does she mean, what I’m good at? And why does every single one of those statements sound like an accusation?

  Looking out of the window, I wrinkle my brow. It’s funny how I was worried about hurting her feelings, yet now I’m left feeling a little bruised. God, the disappointment on her face a minute ago is just a faint echo of the many disappointments I’ve caused my whole life.

  Her face is the same as countless other women. The same as so many of my teachers. The same as my father’s, in the seconds before it turned to something meaner.

  God, why am I such a disappointment to everyone I care about?

  Fuck.

  Fuck.

  I rush outside, needing to feel the coolness of the ocean against my skin again. Quietly slipping back down to the shore, I am living entirely inside my head. I let the cold water rush up to my feet, chilling me to the bone within a few waves. Looking out over the dark water, I want to throw back my head and yell at the black night sky.

  Who have I not let down in my life?

  The answer comes without me having to even search for it.

  Grayson.

  He’s my best friend, which means something to me. But he’s also the one person that I have stuck with through thick and thin, through health and sickness. I’ve never managed to alienate him.

  Not until now, I guess. Fuck!

  I run both my hands through my hair, bowing my head. If he ever finds out that I fucked his little sister, he will just… I don't know. Probably be done with me, at the very least.

  I shouldn’t have fucked her. I know it.

  But then I think of the way she looked at me just before, when we were pressed together. She peered up at me with those very blue eyes and spoke ever so softly about how much she needed me…

  God damn. In my whole life, I have never wanted anything the way I wanted her. I wanted to bottle that need up and survive on it for the rest of my life.

  No one has ever needed me before, not the way that Olivia does. Thinking about that, I can’t really say I would do anything differently if given the same options again. It just sucks that the only girl I want… the only one who needs me… is also Grayson’s little sister.

  Blowing a breath out through my nose and mouth at once, I turn back toward the shore. Stopping to pick up my shoes, I carefully pick my way up to the road. Carter is just emerging from the driveway where the party was held as I step onto the blacktop.

  He glares at me, crossing his arms. “Where is Olivia?”

  I shrug nonchalantly, but that’s not how I actually feel. “I don't know.”

  That much is true, although I can guess. She didn’t go back to the party, so there is only one place she would be at this time of night.

  Carter tilts his head. “I’m going to her apartment to check on her.”

  I purse my lips. I really wish he wouldn’t, but then again I want someone to check on her. And it damned well can’t be me. So I shrug again.

  “Suits me. I’m headed there myself, to go to bed.”

  Another half-truth. I’m probably going to go back to my apartment and drown my sorrows in whiskey. But Carter and I don't know each other enough to say that, so I don't. I start walking that direction anyway.

  Carter falls in alongside me, glancing at me. “What’s with you? Did you guys get into it or something?”

  “Or something,” I say. I pick up the pace, wanting the trip to be over already. Carter seems to not really be worried about it, easily matching my stride.

  I forgot that we’re basically the same height. The same everything, truth be told. I slide him a glance, realizing that though our faces are a little different, it’s a little like looking in a mirror. His long legs wrapped in dark slacks could be mine; I’m every bit as broad as he is, although I wouldn’t be caught dead in that boring button up.

  “What do you even do for a living?”

  The question takes him by surprise. He looks at me with a frown. “I’m about to start working as a college professor.”

  My brows fly up. “Really?”

  Carter looks mildly offended. “Yes, really. I have my phD in biology.”

  “Shit. And here I was, just assuming that you dressed like that because you’re a complete fucking tool. Turns out, you’re a geek.” I squint into the trees. “Well, that doesn’t necessarily mean you’re not a tool too. That would make you a geek-tool hybrid.”

  He rolls his eyes. “I bet you didn’t even go to college.”

  I scrunch up my face. “Nope. I went into the Navy instead. While you were pushing papers, I was already in the real world, dodging actual bullets.”

  He pauses for a second, absorbing that information. “I see.”

  I shake my head, a humorless huff of laughter leaving me. “I bet you do.”

  The next thing he says is unexpected, though. “Thank you for your service.”

  I slow, looking at him uncertainly. “Are you fucking making a joke right now?”

  He shakes his head, somber as sin. “Nope.”

  “Oh.” I mull that over for a second. It’s not my favorite thing, having civilians say that. It usually seems pretty fake and superficial. But right here, right now, it seems okay. “You’re welcome, I guess.”

  “My dad was in the service. The Marines, I think.”

  I want to stop in my tracks. I want to ask for more information. But as we leave the party behind, the house looming large in the nighttime, I don't quite know what to say to that.

  “Do you happen to know what unit he was in?” I say, trying to keep my tone light.

  Carter glances at me, his uncertainty clear. “I don't know. All I know is that he won some awards for valor. That was all when I was a little kid, though.”

  We’re both quiet for a few beats as we begin walking through the woods once more, down the path that leads to the staff quarters. I’m thinking of how much I would love to know more, to see if I really was closer to my dad than I’d ever thought. “Didn’t your family always have money?”

  Even in the darkness, I can see Carter’s smile. “Yeah. My dad didn’t go for that reason. He went into the military because he thought he could piss off my grandad. As it turned out, it worked really well. I didn’t really even grow up around here until I was about five. It was sort of a shock, realizing that I was from money.”

  My lips twist at that. “I’ll bet.”

  He glances at me, his expression curious. He’s probably wondering whether I came out of poverty as a child. Let him wonder, I figure.

  We step out of the woods, the staff quarters standing in silhouette. It’s only then that I realize that I completely forgot about Olivia. I was so caught up in fishing for info about my father, I sort of let everything else slide away.

  “Later,” I say gruffly. Carter seems not to notice; he is making a beeline for Olivia’s apart
ment.

  I suddenly realize that Olivia could not only ruin my relationship with Grayson, she has the power to ruin anything I hope to have with Carter too. Though I doubt that she’ll go back on her word, it still gives me a reason to sweat.

  I see Carter banging on her door for a second before I push through the door to my own apartment. Feeling a little nauseated, I head straight for the record player. After dithering for a minute, I put on James Brown, nice and low. As he croons to me about what a man’s world is for, I drop my shoes and help myself to a glass of whiskey.

  I can hear faint voices over the song that’s playing. I swallow and turn the record player up, wishing I was different than I am.

  Chapter Twenty-Five

  Olivia

  Boys are stupid. Aiden is no exception. That’s what I’ve determined in the days following my deflowering.

  Almost a week passes after Aiden and I have sex.

  His words keep ringing through my head like the tolling of a bell.

  I just want to make sure it’s going to be a secret between the two of us. It was a one-time thing…

  His request — to keep the fact that we had sex a secret — really stings in a way I don't quite understand. Naturally I would keep something like that quiet. It’s a personal thing, just between Aiden and me.

  But the fact that he felt the need to ask… that makes the pit of my stomach as bitter as bile.

  I’m not particularly interested in seeing his handsome face, so I bury myself in work. Margaret comes home from the hospital, albeit with a twenty-four-hour nurse. Carter is also glued to her side, making space for himself in one of the spare bedrooms on the second floor.

  I spend ten hours a day engrossed in my work. I’ve moved on from cataloging to digitizing, scanning each piece of paper and every page of each book into a specialized digital scanner. It’s kind of mind numbing, the process of scanning every piece of paper and then transferring it to a special kind of plastic casing. When I’m done with about a hundred documents, I carefully stack their casings together and store them in an acid-free box.