Dirty Little Secret

by Wood, Vivian

  I wait until he leaves before I narrow my gaze on Aiden’s face. “Did you have to rub it in, Mr. Wild and Single Forever?”

  He yawns. “I don’t know. Maybe I will just never tell him and then in his mind, I will be single forever.”

  I throw a gummy worm at his head. “I’m serious, Aiden.”

  He raises his eyebrows. “And I’m not?”

  My mouth opens. For a second I am speechless.

  “What?” I ask, affronted. “You told me that you were trying to figure out a way to tell Grayson. Was that a lie?”

  “No…” he hedges.

  “So why put on the show? Why pretend to hit on the nurses?” My eyes start to tear up, which is embarrassing. I hate that when I’m mad or frustrated, I want to cry. “Just tell my brother, Aiden.”

  “Okay, let’s not get emotional over here,” he says, sitting up straight in the bed.

  I stand up. “Are you ever going to tell Grayson the truth?”

  The back of his neck turns red. “Eventually, yes.”

  “Are you going to keep up this charade in the meantime? Flirting with every woman you see? Hmm?” I set the gummy bears down. “I’m starting to think that I’m not worth as much to you as I thought.”

  He levels a look at me. “You are blowing this way out of proportion. Are we really having our first fight about something this stupid?”

  Gasping, I feel my anger start to boil over. “I’m not stupid.”

  “I didn't say you were,” he says, rolling his eyes.

  Folding my arms across my chest and pinning him with a glare, I demand to know more. “When are you going to tell my brother?”

  “I said I’d tell him at some point!” he says, pissed off. “Is my word not good enough for you suddenly?”

  “If that’s the best you can come up with, maybe it’s not,” I snap. “Either you agree that you’ll tell him this week or I will walk away.”

  “Is that an ultimatum?” he asks, scowling.

  Disbelieving, I shake my head, my whole body tensing. “I guess it is. You can't even say that you love me, and maybe you don’t. But for god’s sake, if you want to keep me as badly as you say you do, tell Grayson. Stop behaving like a little boy and just admit to him that we are in a relationship.”

  Aiden closes his eyes, blowing out a breath. “Some things won’t be rushed, Olivia.”

  I shake my head slowly. “That is the thing about ultimatums, Aiden. Either the other party gives in… or you walk away. And right now, I am not getting what I need from you.”

  He opens his eyes, looking tired. “Olivia…”

  “Don’t.” I snatch up my face wipes and my gummy worms, feeling ridiculous. My tears finally spill over onto my face. “I guess I’m… I’m just not worth enough to you.”

  Turning toward the door, I start walking away.

  “Olivia…” Aiden calls. “Don’t leave…”

  But I ignore him, choking out a sob on my way out the door.

  Chapter Thirty-Seven

  Aiden

  Fuck.

  Fuck!

  Olivia just walked away and left me here to stew in my feelings about her.

  Do I love her?

  Almost certainly.

  Am I willing to tell her brother?

  Eventually.

  That wasn’t enough for her. Understandable, but it nonetheless guts me to the core. My choices to get her back are slim indeed.

  I’m released the next day from the hospital and picked up by Grayson. He takes me straight back to Whiskey Bend, where I spend the next few days sleeping, not leaving my little cabin unless I have to.

  I want to ask about Olivia. Texting her, I get no response, Still, every time Grayson sticks his head in to check on me, words fail me.

  I know I need to just be a man and tell him. But I don’t want to sever our connection… and I’m pretty sure that telling him I fucked his little sister, fell in love with her, and can't stop thinking about her… yeah, it would do just that.

  I’m weak. My weakness makes me hate myself.

  Maybe Olivia would be better off with someone else, someone who wouldn’t have this… this need to not let Grayson down. It wars with my need to have Olivia in my life, in my bed, under me…

  So every second I’m not asleep, I’m just tied up in knots over it.

  What should I do?

  How angry will Grayson be?

  What if I already missed my chance with Olivia?

  That’s all sliding around in my head as we go back to the Morgan estate to get my stuff. He gives me a look as I slide myself into the car he’s borrowed.

  “What?” I ask grumpily.

  He sighs. “Nothing, man.”

  We drive the twenty minutes back to the Morgan estate in near silence. I’m brooding about Olivia, which I of course can't tell him. And he’s upset about something, though he doesn’t seem inclined to share what it is right now.

  “Where do you wanna go?” he asks as we pull down the long drive to the estate. I glance at him, a little caught off guard, but his gaze darts away. “With your stuff, I mean. Back to Whiskey Bend?”

  “Oh.” I hadn’t thought that far, honestly. “Yeah, I guess.”

  Grayson sucks in a breath. “I talked to Nate. Told him what happened. He’s willing to give you another shot once your hand is healed.”

  For some reason, that doesn’t sound very appealing. But I try to squash that feeling, add it to the million other things I don’t say around Grayson.

  “Thanks, man.”

  He pulls up to the half-burned husk of the main house, squinting at it. It’s gruesome, looking at what used to be a pretty grand estate house. Now it’s ruined, most of the roof gone, some parts of the second floor singed and others gone completely. As I look on, a man in coveralls carries an overstuffed chair out of the front door, adding it to the pile of things recovered that are spread out across the lawn.

  “It looks like they managed to save most of the first floor,” Grayson says. “And some of the second.”

  I sigh. On top of everything else, this is just the cherry on the fucked up sundae for me. “Yeah. Listen, I need to shower and clean myself up before I can even begin packing. Do you want to meet me back here a little later?”

  Grayson looks at me, then shrugs. “Sure. I have some errands to run.”

  Getting out of the car, I trudge around the side of the house. Behind me I hear the wheels turning around on the gravel, but I’m already in my own world. Trying to prepare myself for seeing Olivia, or not seeing her, when I get through the wooded path.

  I honestly don’t know which I’d prefer. Obviously my heart wants to see her; it speeds up, every beat sounding like a wallop in my head.

  But if she isn’t interested in seeing me… I don’t know if I would rather be in her presence just then.

  Sucking in a breath, I push on, going through the woods. I come out on the other side, my heart seizing as I approach her side of the staff apartments. But it doesn’t take me long to look inside and fall flat.

  The apartment is empty.

  I expected as much. It still hurts, though. I grab my phone, sending her another text.

  Hey. I’m at your apartment… you’ve moved out. Where are you?

  Like the other twenty texts, it goes unanswered.

  I add one more. I miss you.

  Then I put my phone back in my pocket and head over to my apartment, my thoughts in turmoil. I fucked up with Olivia, there’s no doubting that.

  I burst through the door of my apartment, a sigh on my lips. Carter is standing on a chair that is leaning against the kitchen cabinets, looking right at me like a deer in headlights.

  I still. “What the fuck are you doing here?”

  He straightens, climbing down off the chair and dusting off his hands. “Well… uh…”

  Spotting the books that he’s pulled off of the shelf in my living room, all scattered and rifled through, I groan. “What the fuck? Seriously?”r />
  I head over to a stack that has obviously been gone through and discarded, picking them up. Then I look around and realize that isn’t the only thing he’s disturbed… he’s looked everywhere.

  “I want the box that my father left for me,” he orders, folding his arms across his chest.

  I roll my eyes, putting the books down on a side table.

  “Us,” I say.

  “What?”

  “Our father left us the box,” I snap. “And it’s over there, under the record player.”

  I point to where the box sits, shaking my head. Carter glares at me, going over to it and carefully removing it from under the record player. Then he carries the box over to my kitchen table, stacking it on top of the mail he’s already opened and discarded there.

  Wrenching it open, he looks down at the contents. I walk over and watch as he lifts the first envelope out, the one with my name written on it.

  “Son of a bitch,” he mutters. He glances up, his expression both wary and a warning. “I’m opening it.”

  I shrug. “Okay.”

  He dumps out the contents onto the table, the photos and the letters, the stock certificates and the ring. Carter picks up the ring first, examining it. He glances up at me, brow furrowed, then he picks up the letter. Unfolding it with trembling fingers, he reads it.

  Then he looks at me, his eyes wide. “This is real?”

  I nod. “Yes.”

  He exhales a shaky breath.

  “Okay. Okay. Fuck!” Shaking his head, he sets the letter aside and opens his envelope. Fishing an identical letter out, he makes a face. “He was such a goddamn bastard. If you’d known him, you would feel angry too.”

  Then he lowers his eyes to his own letter, he unfolds it and begins to read. I quietly begin to reassemble the contents of my envelope, pausing when I pick up the ring.

  Delicate gold. A brilliant pink diamond.

  The promise of forever.

  A gift from my biological father, originally meant for my dead mom. It weighs heavily in my hand.

  When I glance up again, Carter is watching me. He sighs and folds his letter. He nods to the ring. “You should use that.”

  I eye him. “What?”

  “That ring? You should use that.”

  “What?” I repeat.

  He looks me square in the eye. “My first action as your apparent brother is to tell you to give that ring to Olivia. I mean, when you guys are ready. Get down on one knee and all that.”

  My confusion is apparent. “You know that Olivia and I have been… seeing each other?”

  “After the third time I almost got punched for even looking her way, I figured it out. Plus I saw you kiss her on the front porch the night of the masquerade ball. And I haven’t missed the fact that you two are practically glued together at the hip.”

  I don’t know what to say to that. We weren’t as sneaky as I thought apparently. His suggestion — that I give the ring to Olivia — keeps repeating in the back of my head.

  Carter just gives me an amused look.

  “Does that count as brotherly advice?” he wonders aloud. He shakes his head. “Damn, my father was such a fucking prick.”

  “It’s good to know that I inherited it honestly,” I say, smiling and shrugging.

  That makes him snort. “You and me both, I guess.” He looks thoughtful for a moment. “Do you maybe want to stay here? Just while we figure out what we’re going to do about… you know, the whole thing with your paternity and figuring out who inherits what. I’m going to be staying in one of the other apartments, so…”

  I shake my head after thinking about it for a second. “No. I have a whole life outside of this place. And…” I trail off, glancing toward the empty apartment next door.

  “Oh man,” Carter says, shaking his head. “You are so fucking lost on her, aren’t you?”

  I glare at him. “If you mean Olivia, she’s not exactly talking to me right now.”

  “Why?”

  I squint. “Because she wants me to tell people about us, and I… I don’t want that.”

  His eyebrows rise. “You think that a girl like her wants to be your dirty little secret forever?”

  My cheeks color. “No. I’m just… you know, I need more time.”

  He smirks. “You need to quit being a dick is what you need. I don’t want to get out of my depth here, but have you told her how you feel about her?”

  It takes a second for me to slowly shake my head. “No.”

  “Then go do that.” He shrugs, as if it’s just that easy.

  I scowl. “It’s complicated. Her older brother is my best friend.”

  He rolls his eyes. “So?”

  Crossing my arms, I let out an aggravated sigh. “So… I don’t want to disappoint him.”

  “You already slept with her. The disappointing thing has already happened,” he fires back. “Now it’s your job to be honest and take whatever punishment he levies on you. Because in the end, you get the girl. Isn’t that the whole point?”

  Carter is a lot of things, but at this moment, he’s not wrong. I sigh forcefully.

  “Yeah.” The idea of proposing to Olivia, of being able to tell her how I feel without worrying that Grayson will flip out, surfaces in my mind again.

  Mine. Olivia would be mine forever.

  Carter puts his letter back in his envelope, pursing his lips as he looks around the room. “It’s going to take some time to adjust to the idea of having a brother.”

  I nod. “Yeah. I… I’ll admit, when I found out, I didn't react as smoothly as you are.”

  He squints, thinking. “Well… I’m pretty sure I haven’t really absorbed that info. But since I’m here… do you want some help packing?”

  My lips tip up at the corners. “Sure.”

  “Good.” He blows out a breath. “Where should I start?”

  I smile again and shift the conversation onto a more neutral topic. But there, in the back of my head, the idea of proposing to Olivia is taking root and thriving.

  There’s just one person standing in the way of that… and he is going to be coming back to pick me up soon.

  Chapter Thirty-Eight

  Olivia

  One.

  Two.

  Three.

  Breathe.

  My heart pounds.

  Dr. Burke blinks owlishly at me from behind her enormous glasses as she draws my blood. “Almost done. Between this and the urine we got from you earlier, we’ll soon know what is wrong. Nobody should have such constant nosebleeds.”

  I don’t answer. I just stare at the pink walls of the doctor’s office. I won’t faint. I refuse.

  She finishes filling the last tube, then quickly pulls the needle from my arm. One piece of fluffy cotton and a Band-Aid later, she is all done.

  “That wasn’t so bad, was it?” she asks kindly.

  I shake my head, but my heart is making a racket in my ears. Having my blood drawn is the worst.

  Dr. Burke smiles, patting my arm. “Just a few questions. Let’s see…” She looks through my chart. “Any genetic predispositions I should know about? Any family that had cancer or clotting disorders?”

  I shake my head as my heart quiets. “No. Well… not that I know about. I don’t actually know who my father was…”

  “Mmmhm,” Dr. Burke murmurs. “You listed Altavera in your medications, which is I think a progestin-only birth control. Have you taken it regularly?”

  “Religiously,” I say with a little smile.

  “Any medications that you didn’t list?”

  I shake my head. “Nope.”

  “Are you sexually active?” she asks, looking at the forms.

  My cheeks turn pink. “Yes. Well… until this week, I was.”

  That earns me a look from Dr. Burke, but thankfully she doesn’t press me.

  “All right. I have to go check a couple of things, and then we can get started with the physical exam. If you would, just change into the gown
there. I should only be a minute or two.”

  The doctor smiles reassuringly and then steps out of the room, closing the door. I fumble with getting undressed and into the thin gown, already freezing my tail off as I sit on the exam table and wait.

  When the doctor comes back, there is a knowing look on her face. “Olivia, we did a test for pregnancy, just to rule it out. It came back positive.”

  My mouth falls open. A low buzzing sound starts in my ears. “What?” I practically shout. “No… no, that’s not possible.”

  Dr. Burke smiles. “You just said that you’ve been sexually active, so… I’m afraid it is.”

  My eyes immediately tear up. “No, I meant… I mean, I have taken my birth control every day without fail. I— I can't be pregnant!”

  “Shanice dipped your urine twice. I’m absolutely sure.”

  I burst into tears, burying my face behind my hands. My mind races.

  Pregnant?

  Me?

  Oh god, how disappointed will Grayson be? He is going to freak out.

  Then my shoulders stiffen. Grayson will flip, especially when he finds out who the father is. Because it can only be one person…

  Aiden.

  Oh my god.

  I can't exactly tell Aiden, “Hey sorry we just broke up, by the way I’m having your baby.”

  But the other options are… well, unthinkable. Either I just don’t tell anybody, which is only feasible until I start to show. And even then, what would people say if I just showed up with a newborn?

  No.

  Dr. Burke clears her throat. “I see that you are upset. If it makes you feel any better, the nose bleeds are likely a symptom of pregnancy. Some of the hormones make your blood vessels dilate…”

  It doesn’t in fact make me feel any better. It just makes me sob. Dr. Burke sucks in a breath. “Would you like to talk about your options? Assuming that you’re not very far along, you will have plenty…”

  I wipe at my eyes, shivering. “What do you mean?”

  The doctor grabs a box of tissues and offers the whole box to me. I take it, pulling a tissue free and clutching at the corners of the box. Dabbing at my eyes, I feel a little more in control.

  As long as I don’t actually think about… my condition…