“Who said that?”
“I did. Look to your left and you’ll see me.”
When Sarah looked to the left, she saw an iridescent woman with red hair who looked a lot like Zara and her sisters. “Who are you?”
“I’m Hildy. The triplets’ aunt and the former Shifter Whisperer of Assjacket, WV.”
“Shifter what?”
“Shifter Whisperer. It means the old hag used to heal shifters in her glory days,” Fabio replied.
“Piss off douche knocker. Just because you’re shagging Baba Love doesn’t mean I won’t temporarily freeze your sorry ass.”
“Don’t mind them. You’ll quickly discover that they’re not happy unless they’re insulting one another,” Zara said.
“He started it first,” Hildy whined.
“Point taken Aunt Hildy. Now, why are you here?” Zoe asked in an effort to regain control of the situation.
“I’m here because Baba Yo Pain In My Ass summoned me. What’s up Red?” Hildy asked, unfazed by Baba Yaga’s scowl.
“Since I know you and Chuck were ease dropping, you already know the gist of the problem.”
“Yeah. Yeah. Sarah here needs to shift before she becomes weaker and loses her power all together. Believe it or not Missy, not shifting has made you more vulnerable to your asshole of a father, instead of stronger.”
“How do you know that?”
Sighing heavily, Hildy said, “Because I’m the former Shifter Wanker of Assjacket, WV. I know all about shifters and not shifting doesn’t make you stronger, especially for a dragon as powerful as your mother.”
“You knew my mother?”
“Yes. Unfortunately, I was too late to save her. The slimy, green poison your father had been slipping to her had already taken its toll and there was nothing I could do. I’m so sorry for your loss, my dear.”
“Thank you. She was an amazing mother and I miss her something fierce.”
“I’m sure you do child, which is even more reason for you to let us help you. Your father gets stronger every day the more he immerses himself in Dark Magic. Trying to reason with him at this point is out of the question. He has only one goal in mind and that’s to become immortal, even if it means killing you to do it.”
“Who are you people really and how do you know all of this?” Sarah inquired.
“Elvis over there is our father, a warlock and a healer. The 80s reject standing next to him is Baba Yaga and the most powerful witch in the universe, believe it or not. Zelda is the current Shifter Whisperer and took over when Aunt Hildy was murdered by our mother, the Honey Badgers and her boyfriend vampire. The handsome, brooding man beside her is Mac, her mate, a wolf shifter and King of the shifters. The bride is my older sister Zoe and the handsome man sitting next to her is Nicolai, her husband, mate and hybrid.”
“Hybrid?”
“Yes, not only is he a Warlock, he’s also a Shifter. A black panther to be exact. The sexy man sitting next to me is my mate. Stefano, who is also a hybrid like his brother, Nicolai. The three cats over there licking their nads are Fat Bastard, Boba Fett, and Jango Fett. They’re Zelda’s familiars. Although you know Max and Jax, what you don’t know is that they’re Zoe’s familiars, which is the reason they are so taken with her. I believe the Goddess sent them to you so that you would eventually meet us. The handsome hunk next to Aunt Hildy is her mate, Chuck, who is a Bear Shifter and the lovely woman in the corner is Zoe’s Aunt Viola who also happens to be a witch.”
“Okay,” Sarah said hesitantly.
“The stubborn man you’ve been fighting with since the moment you met is Cole, my best friend. As you know Cole is a red dragon, my familiar, my brother and like it or not, your mate.”
“Zara, that wasn’t for you to tell,” Baba Yaga exclaimed.
“Hey, someone needed to tell her. It’s obvious Cole has screwed up and landed himself in the dog house.”
“How did you know that?” Cole asked.
“Have you looked at the vibes surrounding you two? Your emotions are like a rainbow. One minute its vibrant and bright and the next, there’s a dark cloud hanging over you. Since the cloud seems a little darker than usual, I could only reason that you did something to piss Sarah off.”
“Zip it!” Cole demanded.
“Hey, I’m just calling it like I see it.”
“Thank you for your thorough analysis, Zara, but we need to get back to business,” Hildy said. “We need to teach Sarah to shift before it’s too late.”
“I still don’t understand how you know all of this,” Sarah said.
“Listen carefully, my dear. When Baba Love and I were younger, we learned our mentor, the Jezibaba, was not only the most powerful witch in the universe, but she was also a dragon shifter. However, when she tried to suppress her true nature and destiny, her powers started to wane, not only as a shifter, but also as a witch. It wasn’t until she sucked it up and started shifting that her powers were restored.”
“Seriously?” Sarah asked in disbelief.
“Seriously. Like you, the dragon power didn’t originally belong to her, but instead, was gifted to her by the Goddess. Thus, if you don’t want your father to steal your powers, we need to teach you how to shift and prepare you for the upcoming battle. I assure you, it’s going to be a doozy.”
Overwhelmed by the events of the day and everything she’d just been told, Sarah quietly said, “Excuse me. I need some fresh air.”
Cole knew he should have let Zara or one of her sisters go after Sarah, but when his protective instincts kicked in, he had no choice but to go after her. She belonged to him and it was killing him to see her upset. Following her scent, he tracked her down to the swing under the old Oak tree. The feisty woman from earlier had completely disappeared and in her place was a scared, upset, confused woman who was still as beautiful as ever.
He gently lifted her off the bench, sat down and repositioned her in his lap. When she snuggled closer, he let out a sigh of relief. In a soothing voice, he softly said, “Let it out, sweetheart. You’ll feel better.”
Sarah hadn’t cried since the day of her mother’s funeral, so it was like opening the flood gates. When she finally calmed down, Cole heard her whisper into his chest, “I don’t know who to trust. I’ve been alone for a long time. I thought I could handle all of this by myself, but if what you and your friends say is true, I’m in way over my head.”
“Sarah. Baby. Look at me.”
When she leaned back and he could see her beautiful, sorrowful, green eyes, he said, “I’m sorry. I can’t imagine what it must have been like losing your mother at such a young age and then have your father turn on you.”
Cole understood about being alone. He also knew what it felt like to be unwanted. He had been alone for years until he met Zara and they became each other’s family.
“I’m scared,” she whispered.
“I know, baby. But, I promise that nothing will harm a hair on your head. I know this sounds crazy, especially since we just met, but you belong to me. I will do whatever it takes to protect you, even from your father.”
“Is it true? Are we mates? What does that mean, anyway?”
“It means that I belong to you, the same way you belong to me. You’re that special person that the Goddess made just for me and vice versa.”
“So, wanting to strangle one another ninety percent of the time is normal?” she inquired.
“Nah! I only want to strangle you about twenty percent of the time. The other eighty percent I want to wrap you in my arms and keep you safe.”
“Is this the eighty percentile we’re experiencing right now?”
“Mm-hmm,” Cole said as he leaned down and took her mouth in a sensuous kiss. Her lips were soft and pliant, which made him want to devour her even more. When they were together like this, she made him yearn for things he had only dreamed of as a child before his life went to shit. In his mind, heart and soul, she was rainbows, hope and Happily Ever After.
CHAPTER 5
When Cole and Sarah rejoined the group holding hands, Zara couldn’t help but smile. Maybe her best friend was finally going to get the Happily Ever After he truly deserved. Putting those thoughts aside, she quickly asked, “Have you made a decision, Sarah?”
“Yes. I’ll accept your help. What’s the next step in stopping my father?”
“I’m glad you asked. We’ll start by teaching you how to shift without thinking about it. Once you’ve mastered that, then my nieces will teach you how to kick ass in human form,” Hildy said with glee.
“I can teach her how to shift,” Cole said, squeezing her hand to show his support.
“Afraid not pretty boy. This is going to be extremely painful in the beginning, since she’s been suppressing her powers. We don’t have time to worry about you setting our asses on fire because you think we’re hurting your mate.”
“I promise to be on my best behavior.”
“Mm-hmm. That’s what they all say right before they try to light a fire up under your ass. If I had a dime for every time a fire-breathing shifter singed my eyebrows, I’d be rich. Have you ever seen what a shifter goes through when they’ve denied their destiny?”
“It ain’t pretty, pretty boy,” Fat Bastard said with a smirk.
“No shit, Sherlock. Remember when Damien forced the Jezibaba to shift. We were repairing buildings for days,” Jango Fett chimed in.
Cole turned to address Fat Bastard, but he had returned to licking his nads with gusto for the whole world to see. The dragon in him wanted to set the cat’s ass on fire.
When Fat Bastard finally took a break and caught Cole’s dark, fiery glare, understanding crossed his face which prompted his warning. “Don’t even think about it, pretty boy. What bounces off of me will come back at you full force. Although, it might be fun watching a dragon set his own ass on fire.”
“He’s got a point there, you know,” Jango Fett said with a smirk.
Before Cole could respond, a loud scream came from the kitchen which had everyone running toward Zelda.
“What’s wrong, baby?” Mac asked, concern in his voice.
“Someone ate one of my fucking turkey legs. When I left to relieve my bladder, there were five, scrumptious, smoked turkey legs covered in pickle juice and hot sauce on the table, as well as my bowl of chocolate sauce that I planned to dip them in for a little extra kick. Now, there’s only four smoked turkey legs. So what I want to know, is which one of you dirty bastards ate my puppies’ turkey leg?”
“Um. Sweetheart. We can get you and the puppies… I mean babies another turkey leg. Okay?” Fabio said in a soothing voice.
“That’s not the point, Daddy-O. You can’t just help yourself to a pregnant woman’s food. Now, come on people. Fess up. I promise to make your ass kicking quick and painless if you just come forward on your own accord.”
“I’m not the smartest cat on the block, but isn’t that an oxymoron. I mean, if you kick their ass, it’s going to be painful,” Fat Bastard said as he continued to contemplate Zelda’s statement.
“Shut it, Fat Bastard, or I’m getting a lock for the refrigerator when we get back home and bringing out the treadmills, again.”
“You wouldn’t,” he quickly replied, terrified by her last comment. When he realized she was serious, he did the only thing any self-respecting cat in his position could do, he simply nodded and slunk away with his tail between his legs.
Cole watched as Fat Bastard returned to the living room. There was a part of him that felt bad for the ill-mannered cat, but then, there was a part of him that was pissed he was more afraid of a pregnant, hormonal woman bitching about a turkey leg than a dragon who had threatened to set his ass on fire. Fate was one twisted bitch, he thought.
“Anybody?” Zelda asked, as she glared at everyone in the room. When no one answered, she said, “Fine, but now I’m watching all of you.”
Fifteen minutes later, Zelda screamed again followed by her yelling, “Bad dogs. Come back here with my turkey leg you little thieving bastards. I still need to dip it in chocolate sauce.”
A few minutes later, Max entered the living room with said turkey leg in his mouth followed closely by Jax. When Zara said, “I think we’ve solved the case of the missing turkey leg,” the entire room erupted into laughter.
“Zoe, get your damn thieving puppies under control. The little bastards took my turkey leg. My puppies needed it more than yours.”
“Seriously, Zelda. It won’t kill you to share a turkey leg with my babies. It’s not like you don’t have a smorgasbord constantly at your beck and call.”
“What’s your point?” Zelda demanded.
“I think her point is that it’s not going to kill you to share some of your damn food with Max and Jax. Goddess knows you put away enough carbs every day to feed several third world countries,” Zara said with a smirk.
“Oh for Goddess’s sake. Keep the damn turkey leg. You’re just lucky I have four more. But I’m warning you little bastards, come near my food again, and I’m going to smite your thieving asses. I don’t care how cute you are,” Zelda said, as she watched the dogs pout in between taking bites of her turkey leg.
“Aw, you hurt their feelings,” Zoe insisted.
“Not enough for them to give me back my damn turkey leg,” Zelda countered.
“Now that we’ve solved the mystery of the missing turkey leg, can we get back down to business?” Hildy said, dryly.
Cole felt as though he was in the Twilight Zone, or a three-ring circus. At this point, it was a toss-up given the mixed emotions he was currently experiencing. A part of him wanted to argue with Hildy to let him stay and help Sarah, but the other part didn’t want to be a distraction, as Hildy had indicated. Either way, his need to protect his mate versus allowing her to embrace her destiny were definitely at odds with one another and he was sure that it was written all over his face.
“Cole, you look a little stressed and I have just the thing to help. Come with me and let these ladies get to work,” Fabio said in a soothing voice.
Reluctantly, Cole followed Zara’s father upstairs. He wasn’t sure what the old man was up to, but something told him he would eventually live to regret his decision. When he entered the room, Fabio had managed to change into what looked like women’s leotards and placed several yoga mats on the floor, which caused warning bells to go off in his head.
What in Hades is he up to now? Cole thought.
“Have you ever tried yoga? I started taking classes after I became a human. I found it helped me to relax when things became stressful.”
“Funny. I thought you started taking yoga classes because you wanted to lick your nads in human form.”
“Okay, that too. Unfortunately, the more classes I took, the more I found Zelda’s leotards a little too constricting down there if you know what I mean,” Fabio said as he pointed toward his crotch.
Looking like a deer caught in the headlights, Cole hesitantly asked, “What exactly does that have to do with me?”
“Nothing really, but it did inspire me to design my own line of men’s leotards. Only, I call them Fab-a-tards.”
A few minutes later, Fabio pulled out two pair for Cole’s inspection. The first pair were in a rainbow pattern and covered in matching sequins. The second pair were black and had a red dragon wrapped around the right leg. Both had a snap pouch at the crotch to make it easier when a man had to use the restroom.
Living with Zara, Cole had seen some freaky shit over the years, but he had to admit this took the cake. Unsure of how to respond, he simply nodded and watched in amazement as the old man continued to ramble on about his newest creation.
“The rainbow ones are my favorite. If I ever get invited on RuPaul’s Drag Race, these will definitely be my go to pants,” Fabio cooed.
“Oh-kay,” Cole said, still unsure of how to respond.
“So, which one do you want to try on first,” Fabio asked eagerly as he held a pair in each hand.
/> Things suddenly became crystal clear as Cole thought back to the strange incident with Fabio on the Love Machine. “Wait a minute! You took my measurements on the bus when I was sleeping,” he said matter of fact.
Cheeks flushed, Fabio simply nodded in agreement. “You’re such a fine specimen of a man, I knew the moment I saw you that you’d be the perfect model for my Fab-a-tards. Besides, Mac, Nicolai and Stefano had already turned me down. Why it’s so hard for the male species to embrace his inner feminine side is beyond me.”
Frustrated beyond belief and extremely freaked out, Cole caught himself mid-shift, but it was too late. He had already burned the rainbow sequined Fab-a-tard to a crisp.
“Huh! Who knew sequins were flammable?”
“I-I’m. Uh…”
Fabio turned to look at Cole, who was now staring blankly at what was left of the burned Fab-a-tards and said, “Well. Okay. I feel like you’re trying to tell me something here.”
“No. Um. Look. I’m…”
“Were they not soft enough?” Fabio asked, dumbfounded.
“Well, Uh…”
“Did you not like the rainbows? I mean seriously because I thought everyone loved rainbows.”
“Uh…”
“Were the sequins too flashy? If that’s the case, it’s an easy fix.”
“Well, since you asked…”
“Wait! I’ve got it. You’re more of a rhinestone type of guy.”
“They’re flammable for Goddess’s sake. You can’t expect a dragon to wear flammable leotards,” Cole snapped, losing what little patience he had left.
“Got it! I need to make them flame resistant. Want to try on the other pair?” Fabio asked enthusiastically.
Stunned by the events that had just played out before him, there was only one thought running through Cole’s head. What the hell have I gotten myself into? Yet on the flip side, he had to give Fabio props for his persistence.
“Come on! You know you want to. It’ll be our little secret,” Fabio encouraged. “It’ll make you feel better and help you get your emotions under control, which means you’ll be able to help Sarah.”
Witchin' You're a Dragon Page 4
