Cole knew he was being played, but his desire to help Sarah outweighed his common sense, which was the reason he snatched the pants out of Fabio’s hand and begrudgingly went into the bathroom to change.
“Oh goody! I can’t wait to see how you look in them,” Fabio squealed.
Ten minutes later, Cole looked at himself in the mirror with disgust. “How could you have stooped so low in such a short amount of time?” he mumbled to himself. Part of him was disgusted because he’d let Fabio con him into putting on a pair of leotards. The other part was equally disgusted because they actually felt good. His family jewels had plenty of breathing room and the fabric was really soft and flexible. He loved the way they moved with his body. “Yep, definitely getting my man card pulled if the guys ever find out about this,” he whispered to himself before joining Fabio in the next room.
“Oh. My. Goddess. They look perfect on you,” Fabio said as he quickly started taking pictures. “I always knew you’d be the perfect model for my Fab-a-tards, but this is even beyond my imagination. I can’t believe my dream to be a designer is finally coming true,” he cried.
“Fabio, enough with the damn pictures. You will destroy every one of them, do you hear me?” he said through gritted teeth.”
“Fine. Don’t get your panties all in a wad. Take your place on the mat and we’ll start the yoga class.
Once they had finished a few breathing techniques, Fabio started with the mountain pose, which Cole thought was simple enough. The pants felt good and the breathing techniques were helping him relax. Although Fabio insisted that the downward facing dog encouraged full-body circulation and was a great way to stretch his calves and heels, he couldn’t help but feel a little exposed being down on all fours with his ass up in the air for all to see in the Fab-a-tards of all things. But, he had to admit that his nads were flowing freely with the wind.
“How are you doing over there, Cole?”
“Fine,” Cole replied, a little out of breath.
“Are the Fab-a-tards living up to your expectations?”
“Um. I guess.”
“Good. Let’s move into the warrior pose. This will strengthen and stretch your long legs and ankles. You know, yoga has helped with my stamina and flexibility in the bedroom with Baba Love if you know what I mean.”
The last thing Cole wanted to think about was Fabio and Baba Yaga doing the nasty. “TMI,” he quickly said before Zara’s father could elaborate further.
“Just making a point. Are you ready for the tree pose? Given that dragons tend to be clumsy, this will help your balance while strengthening your thighs, calves and spine. Baba Love appreciates how tight my thighs and ass are. This pose has a lot to do with it.”
“What did you not understand about TMI?” Cole asked again.
“Oh. Right! Let’s move into the bridge pose.”
When Fabio laid down on the floor with his arms to his side, bent his knees, and pressed his feet into the floor as he lifted his hips, that’s where Cole drew the line. He had no desire to contort his body into a damn human pretzel.
“You know, I think I’m good now. I’m feeling a lot more relaxed than when I originally entered the room. Good session,” Cole said as he raced to the bathroom to change clothes before anyone saw him in Fabio’s leotards. Yep, his man card had been definitely checked at the door. He was going to need therapy after this.”
When he returned from the bathroom, Fabio said, “Good session, Cole. Your aura is already brighter. I’ll let you know once I have a new mockup for the rainbow Fab-a-tards with the sequins. I can already tell they’re going to look stunning on you.”
“Yeah, about that,” Cole started to say before he suddenly fell silent. There was so much hope and excitement in the older man’s eyes that he couldn’t shit on his parade. So, he simply nodded in agreement and quickly exited the room.
“Thanks again, Cole. You have no idea how much that meant to me,” Fabio yelled.
Breathe in. Breathe out. Breathe in. Breathe out was the mantra going through Cole’s head as he made a mental note to start looking for a therapist tomorrow.
CHAPTER 6
Jacob O’Malley watched as the tall man with horns, beady black eyes and hair equally as dark approach. While most men would have feared him, Jacob didn’t consider himself most men. The evil asshole had something he wanted and there was nothing that would stop him from achieving his goal.
“How dare you summon me like a slave?” Bermangoggleshitz roared.
“How dare you not tell me about the witches?” Jacob O’Malley replied in a deadly voice.
“Your witches are not my problem. You needed a product to steal the dragon’s magic and I gave you one. Don’t take our simple business transaction for more than it is. Your drama has nothing to do with me,” Bermangoggleshitz said in an oily voice.
“Speaking of business transactions, I’m going to need more of the green potion. In addition to my Princess, a witch who possesses Dark Magic has piqued my curiosity.”
“You’re a fool, O’Malley. If she’s acquired a witch who possesses Dark Magic to help her, then you’ll never steal her powers. Face it man, you’ve lost the element of surprise.”
“I’ll be the judge of that, you imbecile. Besides, she’s still suppressing her powers, which is making her weaker by the minute. My window of opportunity is closing. I will become immortal with or without your help.”
What’s in it for me if I supply you with more of the green potion?” Bermangoggleshitz asked.
“I’m willing to pay triple the price this time,” Jacob O’Malley said through gritted teeth.
“My. My. They both must be really special if you’re willing to pay triple.”
“Not that it’s any of your business, but they are. Now are you going to sell me more of the damn potion or do I need to look elsewhere?” O’Malley sneered.
“Maybe. Maybe not. What’s your plan? Do you even have a plan because flying by the seat of your pants isn’t going to cut it if there’s a witch involved who possesses Dark Magic?”
“Don’t you worry about my plan, Bermangoggleshitz.”
“Telling me not to worry only makes me worry more. I don’t want your shit storm raining down on my parade. So, before I sell you more of anything, tell me more about the witches,” Bermangoggleshitz insisted.
“Oh for Goddess’s sake. If it means you’ll sell me the green potion and leave me in peace, I’ll tell you.”
Jacob O’Malley began telling Bermangoggleshitz about the three redheaded witches, a warlock who was dressed in an Elvis costume, a wolf shifter, two panther shifters, a red dragon and a witch dressed in horrendous 80s clothes. He wasn’t sure who they were and there was no time to get names, but they were adamant about helping his Princess. In fact, he’d realized a moment too late that the red dragon was the most protective of her.
“Wait! Did you say there was a witch dressed in an 80s outfit? Like Madonna 80s, not Pat Benatar eighties, right?”
“What the Hades do you know about the 80s?” Jacob O’Malley asked with a confused look.
“Answer the damn question, O’Malley.”
“Fine. She was dressed like Madonna.”
“Holy mother humper, you’re screwed you fool and don’t even realize it. The witch in the 80s outfit was Baba Yaga, the most powerful witch in the Universe. The redhead who possessed Dark Magic is her protégé, Zelda. Both of those witches wield more power in their pinkies than you do in your entire existence. I want no part of this. Yet, I am curious about the other two witches you mentioned.”
“Not that it’ll make any difference because I plan to take them all down, but they were obviously sisters. Triplets by the looks of them. But like I said, it doesn’t matter because by the time I’m done, everyone will fear me and those damn meddling witches will be dead.”
“Hmm. Fabadouche has two more daughters. Things just got a little more interesting,” Bermangoggleshitz said to no one in particular.
; “Are you still with me?” Jacob O’Malley asked, as he waived his hand in front of Bermangoggleshitz face.
“Yeah, I’m still here,” he replied, swatting O’Malley’s hand away. “Out of curiosity, if I were to provide you with more of the potion, what’s your plan?”
“That’s for me to know and you to find out,” O’Malley said smugly.
“If you want my help, you’ll spill your guts now, or I’ll walk away. I wasn’t bullshitting when I said, I won’t be a part of trying to take down two of the most powerful witches in the Universe. And, if her sisters’ powers are anything like hers, together they have to be a force to be reckoned with on any given day. So, I ask again. How do you plan on taking down the witches?”
“Sell me more of the potion and I’ll tell you about my secret weapon,” O’Malley said in a sweet saccharine voice that didn’t fool Bermangoggleshitz for one minute.
He knew the slime ball was up to no good, which normally wouldn’t have bothered him. But, if this idiot interfered with his plan to own the world, he’d drop him where he stood.
“It looks as though we’re at a standstill, O’Malley. If you’re not going to tell me your plan to take out the witches and dragon, then you’re wasting my time. I have bigger plans than just being immortal, you imbecile. When you’re ready to share, call me. Until then, don’t let my name cross your filthy lips again, or I promise you’ll be sorry,” Bermangoggleshitz replied, body shaking with rage as he vanished from the room.
“The man who embraces the Dark is never without sight. You’ll be sorry Bermangogglesnots. If you’re not my ally, then you’re my enemy. When I’ve taken the witches and dragon’s power, I’ll make you pay for your lack of loyalty,” Jacob O’Malley mumbled under his breath.
CHAPTER 7
Sarah quickly discovered that shifting hurt like hell, and she had yet to fully shift into a dragon. How the hell does Cole do this on a regular basis?
“I know it’s painful, but you can do this, Sarah,” Hildy encouraged. “You need to focus on the end result. Think about flying free with the birds and being able to light a fire under your evil father’s ass the next time he tries to kidnap you.”
Taking Hildy’s advice, Sarah flashed back to how it felt when she was flying free in Cole’s arms and the way it made her body tingle all over. While there was a part of her that felt safe in his arms, there was another part that set her v-jay-jay on high alert. The power and passion oozing from him were addictive, and she knew the moment she gave into it, she would be lost in a web of lust forever.
“Honey, I said think about flying free with the birds, not laying that big, hunk of burning love you’re mated to,” Hildy said with a smirk.
Sarah’s face burned from embarrassment. How had the older woman figured out what she was thinking? Was she that obvious?
“That moony look you were sporting was a dead giveaway. Don’t feel bad, I’ve felt that way about my Chuck for years. You know some would say I was a cradle robber, since I used to babysit him, but hey, the Fates knew what they were doing. Besides, I’m rather infamous for being a Cougar, if you know what I mean,” Hildy said, raising her eyebrows a couple of times.
“Aunt Hildy, TMI,” Zara said in disgust.
“Oh, hush! There’s nothing wrong appreciating your man. Besides, I know for a fact you and Stefano bump uglies every chance you get. You’re not exactly quiet,” Hildy replied, unfazed by the shocked look on her niece’s face.
When Zelda and Zoe burst into laughter, she turned on them. “What are you two laughing about? Little Red Riding Hood is how you got knocked up with twin puppies,” Hildy said to Zelda. “Don’t even get me started on you and Nicolai, Zoe. It’s always the quiet ones you need to worry about, Sarah. Trust me on this one.”
“Oh-kay,” Sarah responded hesitantly. She wasn’t sure whether to stay and continue trying to shift, or run for the hills. To say this family was rather eccentric would have been an understatement.
“Now, shall we get back to business, ladies? That is, if Zelda can pull herself away from the buffet table.”
“What? I am eating for three, Aunt Hildy. You know how the puppies get when they’re hungry.”
“Honey, I know you have a witch’s metabolism, but if you keep eating like a hog, I’m going to have to start snorting like one every time I see you. Some of those concoctions you’re eating are downright disgusting. What the hell is wrong with my doucheknocker of a brother? Why hasn’t he insisted that you start eating healthier? You’re carrying babies, not damn puppies.”
“He might have mentioned something,” Zelda murmured. “Is it my fault the puppies like a little sweet and sour with every meal?”
“Zelda, sweet and sour is synonymous with Chinese food, not a damn bucket of KFC. Get my drift.”
“Fine. I’ll do better tomorrow,” Zelda replied with one hand behind her back and her fingers crossed.
Hildy’s only reply was “Mm-hmm.”
Sarah tuned out everyone around her and concentrated. She wanted to fly like Cole. Although it was painful, when her dragon roared to life, she let it reign free. Before she knew what had happened, she’d taken flight.
Cole watched in silence and amazement as Sarah shifted into the most beautiful, jade dragon he had ever seen. The tips of her wings were the same color as her silky, red hair. She was absolutely magnificent and he couldn’t wait to soar through the sky with her. When she tried to land, something tripped her up and she began free falling. He winced when she landed naked on her hands and knees. While he wouldn’t have minded the position if they were alone in a bedroom, his dragon growled at his mate’s vulnerable position. Maybe he needed more yoga lessons with Fabio? Or maybe you just need to grow a pair and reclaim your man card?
“Are you alright, child?” Hildy asked.
Too elated by the fact she had not only shifted, but had flown without any assistance, Sarah simply nodded as a huge grin overtook her face.
“Looks like we need to work on the landing,” Hildy finally said, as she smiled with pride.
“That was amazing,” Sarah finally said. “Can I do it again?”
“You’re right, it was amazing, but don’t get too excited. We still have a lot of work to do. Let’s call it a day. I promised Chuck a little afternoon nookie,” Hildy laughed, as she watched her nieces cover their ears and start singing.
“Once again, TMI, Aunt Hildy. TMI,” Zara protested.
“Oh, hush. Take it from me. If you want to keep your mate happy, you need to mix it up in the bedroom, and the kitchen, and the shower, and the backseat of your Ford Focus. Know what I mean?” she said with a wink, right before she disappeared.
“I need to go and wash my brain,” Zoe said.
“Don’t you mean eyes?” Zara countered.
“Nope. I meant brain. It’s either that, or I’m going to be in therapy with Roger the Rabbit soon because everyone in this family has fallen off their rocker.”
“Hey, speak for yourself,” Zelda chimed in.
“I was speaking for myself. What are you griping about? Don’t you have regular appointments with Roger?”
“Yeah. What’s your point?”
“That is my point,” Zoe said dryly.
“Who’s Roger?” Sarah asked, as she finished putting on her clothes.
“Roger is the resident therapist in Assjacket, WV. Stefano told me he has a penchant for porn.”
“You see a sex therapist?” Sarah asked Zelda, a little confused given she was pregnant with twins.
“Yes and no. Yes, Roger is a therapist and he has a penchant for porn. No, he’s not helping me with my sex life, but instead, my mommy issues.”
“Oh. Where is your mother?”
Sighing heavily and walking toward the house, Zelda said, “If we’re discussing Mommy Dearest, I’m going to need another bucket of KFC, some pickle juice, chocolate syrup and whipped cream.”
Shaking their heads in disgust, Zara, Zoe and Sarah followed her back in th
e house. Once she was settled at the kitchen table with her feast, Zelda told Sarah how her mother and undead boyfriend has conspired to drain Hildy of her powers and then kill her.
“Wait! Did you say undead?” Sarah asked, a bit confused.
“You know. Vampires,” Zelda replied.
“Vampires really exist,” Sarah asked in awe.
“Damn straight they do, and they’re hard as hell to kill, but Mac had that under control. Anyways, once I discovered that my mother was responsible for Aunt Hildy’s death, I took my revenge. Instead of killing her, I gave her a fate worse than death.”
“What could be worse than death?” Sarah countered.
“Turning a greedy, power hungry witch into a mortal and then throwing her into the pokey,” Zelda said with a gleam in her eyes. “Unfortunately, the only way I could recover Aunt Hildy’s powers was to absorb my mother’s Dark Magic as well, but it’s a small price to pay knowing that justice was served.”
“Wow!” Sarah said, stunned by Zelda’s story and the turn of events.
“The point of Zelda’s story is that we understand how to deal with crazy ass parents who want to steal their children’s powers because we’ve lived it,” Zara said.
Nodding in understanding, Sarah finally said, “It’s nice not to be alone anymore.”
“Honey, you have us know. We’re crazy, overprotective, and at times share too much of our personal lives, but we’ll always have your back. Welcome to the family,” Zara replied with a smile.
“Now that we haven’t scared you away, tell us a little about your family,” Zoe said.
Sarah told them that she had once loved her father until she realized that he had been slowly killing her mother. It wasn’t until after her mother’s passing that she discovered he had a mistress on the side and from their indiscretion her half-sibling, Sophie, had been born. She’d only met Sophie a couple of times, but their connection was instant. Sophie’s mother is also a witch and she fears that someday, he’ll turn on her as well in his quest for power.
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