The Wedding Dress

by Danielle Steel

  “I hope there’s nothing going on,” Eleanor said, and Alex nodded. He didn’t want to interfere and say anything to him if they were wrong. And Ruby hadn’t expressed any concern to them, just benign comments that he was working late, and slept at the office from time to time. Neither of Ruby’s grandparents wanted to frighten her or put ideas in her head, if their worries were unfounded. It didn’t seem fair to upset her so close to when their second baby was about to be born. The new baby was all she could think about now, and Kendall. And the time she spent with Zack was more limited every day as she slowed down. Zack felt as though she was either in the nursery folding baby clothes or on their bed, resting. And she wasn’t in the mood to go out anymore. She felt like a whale.

  Eleanor invited them over to dinner, and they seemed fine. Zack was very attentive to her, and Eleanor and Alex decided that their fears were a product of their own imaginations. He was a computer genius after all, so maybe he really was working late.

  The baby was overdue this time. Ruby was two weeks past her due date. The baby nurse had arrived, and was taking care of Kendall before the new baby came, so Ruby had more free time while she waited for labor to start. She was restless, excited, and bored, with free time on her hands.

  She decided to surprise Zack at the office, and have lunch with him. So she got in her red Rolls, put the top down, and drove to Palo Alto. She was wearing a white tent dress and sandals. She looked huge, but very pretty and very pregnant, when she walked into his office complex, and walked down the hall without having the receptionist announce her. She didn’t knock on his office door, which was closed. She opened it, and hopped in, looking like a giant marshmallow, or a white cupcake, and saw a young blonde in a tight skirt sitting on the corner of his desk. They were laughing, and Ruby could see that he had a hand on her thigh, as she sat high on his desk turned slightly toward her. She was a very pretty girl, and they both looked shocked when they saw Ruby standing in the middle of the room. The girl didn’t move and Zack stood up, as Ruby stared at them both, too paralyzed to move. She wanted an explanation, but couldn’t say the words. It was so totally unlike him. He had never been a womanizer before.

  “I’m sorry…I thought…I came down to have lunch with you.” Her eyes filled with tears and she started to back out. The girl got off the corner of his desk, but took her time about it, and looked as though Ruby was the interloper and at fault for showing up, not guilty that she had had Ruby’s husband’s hand on her thigh, and shouldn’t have. The girl didn’t look guilty, she looked annoyed.

  “Bethany, this is my wife, Ruby,” Zack said awkwardly, and the girl nodded at Ruby and left. She was bold about it. Ruby followed her immediately and Zack rushed after her.

  “Ruby, it’s not what it looks like…she’s an intern…nothing’s happening. Let’s have lunch.” She didn’t answer him as he ran after her, and she turned with a look of devastation in her eyes.

  “You’re a son of a bitch. I trusted you. I’m about to have your baby, and you’re screwing interns.”

  “No, I’m not. I don’t know why I did it. I had my hand on her leg…that’s all it was…she just hopped up on my desk before I could stop her.”

  “I don’t believe you. You haven’t been coming home at night. Is this what it’s going to be like being married to you now?” she said as she left and he followed her out to the parking lot. She hated him at that moment and she hated the fact that she loved him, and he could hurt her as badly as he just had. She knew she wouldn’t ever trust him again.

  “Ruby, I swear, nothing happened. We were talking. Come on, Ruby, you’ve been pregnant since the day we got married. Can’t I even talk to a woman anymore?” He looked desperate and he could see hatred and heartbreak in her eyes.

  “You can do whatever you want,” she said angrily and then looked at him intently. “Where are you when you don’t come home at night? With her? You’re a cheater, Zack. Don’t be a liar too.” She got in the car then and slammed the door, while he stood there, looking stupid, and feeling like the heel he was. A second later, she put the car in gear and drove off. She drove back to the city at full speed, and was shaking when she got to her grandparents’ shop. Her grandfather was out, and her grandmother was in her office, going over some paperwork on recent pieces she’d sold. She looked up and saw Ruby’s tearstained face.

  “What happened?” She was on her feet immediately, and gave her a hug.

  “I think Zack is cheating on me. I just went to his office to surprise him for lunch, there was a hot blonde sitting on his desk and he had a hand on her thigh.” Eleanor winced. It was what she had been afraid of. But it was one thing guessing or suspecting, and another thing seeing it happen. She could see how upset Ruby was. She was shaking.

  “What did he say?” Eleanor asked and handed her a glass of water from the pitcher on her desk.

  “That it wasn’t what it looked like. All the crap you’d expect him to say. I know what I saw. And the girl didn’t even get off his desk once I was there. She acted like it was her turf and not mine.”

  “He may just have been stupid and was flirting with her. You didn’t catch them in bed,” her grandmother said sensibly, hoping it was true. Men were stupid sometimes, especially if tired of having a pregnant wife. And he was young and very rich and had opportunities galore.

  “He stays out all night a couple of nights a week now. I think they’re having an affair. She’s a gorgeous girl.”

  “So are you,” her grandmother reminded her, and Ruby started to sob.

  “I look like an elephant.”

  Eleanor smiled. “No, you don’t. You look like you’re going to have a baby any minute.”

  “How do I trust him after this?”

  “You probably don’t for a while. And hopefully, he’ll behave.”

  Eleanor offered to take her to lunch, but Ruby said she was too upset to eat, and she wanted to go home and lie down. Her heart had been pounding since she’d walked into Zack’s office. She left the shop a few minutes later, and Zack called as soon as she got home. The baby nurse said he had already called three times.

  “Are you all right?” she asked Ruby. “You look pale.”

  “I’m fine,” she said and answered the phone. “What do you want?” she asked Zack.

  “Ruby, I’m sorry. It wasn’t what it looked like. I know it looked bad. She’s kind of a cheeky girl. She flirts with everyone.”

  “That’s her business. You had your hand on her. If I’d come five minutes later, maybe you’d have had your dick up her skirt.” She was furious, terrified, and very hurt.

  “I swear, I haven’t done anything with her.”

  “Your hand on her thigh is bad enough. You looked like you were about to climb into bed with her. And I don’t believe a word you’re saying.”

  “This isn’t good for you or the baby. Please calm down. I’ll come home early tonight. I have a one-thirty meeting or I’d come home now. I love you. That girl means nothing to me.”

  “Did you sleep with her?”

  “Of course not.” He sounded shocked.

  “Then where have you been sleeping when you don’t come home?”

  “At the office. We have a room in the back for crazies like me, when we’re too exhausted to go home. All the techies do it. A lot of them sleep here when they work late.”

  “Does she?”

  “She’s an intern, not a techie.”

  “And you’re a jerk,” she said and hung up.

  Ruby lay down on their bed and her heart continued to pound. She could feel the baby thrashing around, probably from her own adrenaline rush. She just lay there and stared at the ceiling, hating him for what she’d seen. She kept playing it over and over in her mind, until she fell asleep. He didn’t call her back. She was too worked up to listen to reason. And when she woke up two hours later, feeling exh
austed and sick, the bed was soaked around her. Her water had broken, and she realized a contraction had woken her. She was in labor and didn’t want to be. She didn’t want to see Zack, or have the baby right now. She was too upset.

  She got up and went to the bathroom and took her dress off, wrapped herself in towels and lay down on his side of the bed where it was dry. She knew she should call the doctor, but she didn’t want to do that either. She didn’t want to have this baby now. She wanted the contractions to stop.

  They got stronger as she lay there, and she could tell they were closer together. When they finally got too strong to ignore, she went to find the baby nurse to tell her, but she was out. She must have taken Kendall to the park. They only had a small staff, and one maid was on her day off. The other one was on vacation. Ruby was alone in the house. She timed two of the contractions, and they were two minutes apart. She had to get to the hospital, and she was going to have to drive herself. She didn’t want to worry her grandmother, and Zack was too far away to help. It would take him forty-five minutes or an hour to get home, and she didn’t want to see him anyway. She wondered if he was with the pretty blonde.

  She got up to get dressed and she couldn’t walk during the contractions. They were too close together now for her to dress, leave the house, and drive herself to the hospital. And suddenly she was scared. She thought about calling Zack, but all she could think of was the blonde on his desk.

  She picked up the phone to call the hospital, and suddenly she heard someone running up the stairs, and a minute later, he was in her room. It was Zack. They looked equally surprised to see each other.

  “What are you doing here?” she asked him between pains.

  “I live here. I came to talk to you.”

  “I’m in labor.” She grimaced as she said it. The pain was already unbearable, worse than she remembered. How could she have forgotten this?

  “Why didn’t you call me? Why aren’t you at the hospital?” He was panicking.

  “Because you’re a shit and I hate you,” she said and then couldn’t talk again. He grabbed the phone, and dialed 911.

  “What are you doing?” She looked frightened.

  “I think you’re having the baby. I think you waited too long.” She thought so too. But everything was wrong this time. She heard him tell the operator that his wife was having a baby, and gave their address, and then he ran to the bathroom, and came back with a stack of towels, and he looked her in the eye.

  “Whatever happened, whatever you saw today, whatever you think, this is our baby, and I love you. Can we just forget about that whole mess long enough for you to have this baby? I love you, Ruby. I won’t be a jerk anymore.” She didn’t answer him, she was in too much pain, and it felt like the baby was forcing its way out and there was no way to stop it. It had all gone so smoothly last time, and this time it was as wrong as their marriage was, and as painful as what she’d seen that morning, and getting rapidly worse.

  “I think I’m having the baby,” she said, and started to cry. The doorbell rang, and Zack left her, as she lay in misery and sobbed. A moment later, there were firemen, and a paramedic and a policeman in the room. The paramedic stood over her and spoke to her gently. He took off the towels she was wrapped in, and Zack’s face was next to hers and she didn’t know if she hated him or loved him. The room swam around her and she felt like she was drowning. She heard someone scream, and then she heard a baby crying from the deep blackness where the pain had pushed her, and then the paramedic was holding the baby, and he said it was a boy, and Zack was crying and telling her he loved her, and for a minute she believed him, and then she remembered, and she cried too.

  “We have a boy,” Zack kept saying to her, and someone put an oxygen mask on her. They had opted not to know the baby’s sex so it would be a surprise, only now the blonde in his office was the surprise. They cut the cord and lifted her onto a gurney, while the policeman held the baby, wrapped in a blanket.

  “We’re going to take you to the hospital,” the fireman said to her and she nodded. The pain had stopped, but she couldn’t stop crying, and they laid the baby next to her, and covered them both with a blanket.

  “He’s beautiful,” Zack said to her as they carried her out. “And I love you. Everything is going to be okay.” She nodded even though she didn’t believe him. She saw the baby nurse and Kendall on the way out, and heard Zack telling her what had happened, but he didn’t tell her why it had happened that way. She hated him for that too. He had ruined everything with that girl on his desk and all the nights he hadn’t come home. She had been such a fool to believe him. She wondered how long it had been going on. She had no proof that he was sleeping with her, but deep in her gut now, she knew he was.

  They were in the ambulance then and she looked down at the baby in her arms. He looked so innocent and so sweet and then she had terrible pains again, and Zack held the baby, while the paramedic delivered the placenta, while they raced to the hospital, with the siren shrieking. They were there ten minutes later, and they carried her into the hospital, while Zack followed with the baby. The nurses took over then, and a doctor came to examine her. She thanked the paramedics when they left. She was shaking, and she felt sick. Then they cleaned her up and checked the baby, and the doctor came a little while later and told her everything was fine. But it wasn’t fine. She knew it every time she looked at Zack. It would never be fine again. She wondered now how long he had been cheating on her. Since the beginning? Only recently? For all of her second pregnancy? And the first one too?

  “I guess you missed the train this time,” her doctor said, joking with her a little. “You were ready to pop. It went pretty fast. We’ll have to get you in at the first sign of labor next time. The fast ones always get faster. I have one patient who hasn’t made it to the hospital yet with three kids. But everything looks good. The baby weighs eight pounds two ounces, by the way. He’s perfect. Your husband is in the nursery with him now. He’ll bring him back in a few minutes. You can go home tomorrow if you like, or stay a few days. It’s up to you.” Ruby nodded and listened to him, but everything had gone so fast, she felt like she was still in shock, from the morning, the baby, and the fast delivery which had been intense. And knowing that her marriage, and her feelings for Zack would never be the same again.

  Zack came back pushing the baby in a bassinet a little while later, and they had given her something for the cramps she was having from her uterus contracting. She was dozing, and she woke up and looked at Zack as he handed the baby to her. They had agreed to name him Nicholas if he was a boy.

  “Do you want to hold him now?” a nurse asked her, and since Ruby was woozy, she shook her head. She just wanted to be left alone.

  “These emergency home deliveries can be pretty rough,” the nurse said to Zack, and he agreed. Ruby closed her eyes and went to sleep. All she wanted was for this day to end. And to stop loving Zack as soon as possible.

  Chapter 18

  Everything was different this time. Even the next day. And the recovery. She had terrible cramps the following day, and they gave her something for the pain. Zack came back in the morning. He hadn’t spent the night with her in the hospital as he had the first time when Kendall was born, and she wondered where he’d been. Maybe back in Palo Alto with the blonde. She didn’t know what to say to him. It made her sad every time she looked at their son. What a terrible day to be born. And whatever happened, she knew she’d never trust Zack again. That hadn’t changed from the day before, and she didn’t think it ever would. What was she going to do now? She had two babies with a man she was sure had cheated on her and probably still was, and perhaps had all along. Zack was turning into his father. He had cheated on Zack’s mother for their entire marriage, and Zack hated him for it. He had lost all respect for him when he found out. And now Ruby wondered if he was doing the same thing.

  As she thought about it, he h
anded her a familiar little gray box. She knew something was in it that she didn’t want. She didn’t want gifts from him now. When she opened it, it was the biggest ruby she’d ever seen, a cushion-cut fifty carat pigeon’s-blood ruby, the best there was. He was trying to buy her off. The measure of his guilt was in the size of his gifts. She understood that now. She wanted to give it back but she didn’t.

  When her grandparents came, she couldn’t even pretend to be happy. She just cried and clung to her grandmother. Eleanor could see in Ruby’s eyes how upset she still was. She knew why she had gone into labor so quickly, and hadn’t called anyone, and so did Zack. Eleanor looked at him and he could tell that Ruby had told her. Alex was very quiet too. They admired the baby, talked to Ruby for a little while, and then they left, and Ruby was alone with him.

  “You can’t let this come between us forever, Ruby. You just can’t.”

  “That’s why you gave me the car,” she said miserably, and knew she’d never touch it again. It was spoiled for her, just as he was now.

  “That’s ridiculous. I just thought it was fun,” he said, but they both knew it wasn’t true. She was onto him. She wondered how long he had been cheating on her. Maybe the whole time. They had two children now, and they needed two parents. She wasn’t going to do what her mother had done, and abandon them, or deprive them of Zack. She had to stay with him, for them. Kendall and Nick needed their father, but something in her was so deeply wounded she doubted she could ever forgive him. Their whole marriage seemed like a sham now. She didn’t know how long he’d been cheating on her, but she suspected that the blonde in his office was not the first one, and maybe not the only one.