Mr. Johnson shot a glance at me. “Now Erik, you aren’t going to let the mermaid swim away, are you?”
I placed my arm around her. “No, sir. I’m doing everything I can to make her stay.”
Aria gave a forced smile, and I could feel her shift in her seat.
Mr. Johnson continued his line of questioning, clearly enamored with Aria. “Do you plan to compete in the next Olympics?”
“Honestly, I’m not sure. So many wonderful opportunities have been presented to me. The only thing I’m sure of is that I’m up for a new challenge.”
I eyed her hard. What did she mean by that?
Our first course arrived—four Kumamoto oysters with uni, caviar, a champagne foam with a hint of lemon. They tasted like pure ocean bliss.
Over the next six courses, we only briefly discussed business. But once the wine started flowing, the topics of conversation mostly fell to my thoughts on ISIS, North Korea, and the boastful SEAL who bragged about killing Bin Laden.
One whiskey cocktail, one glass of champagne, and six glasses of wine later, and I was definitely buzzed.
Mr. Bradshaw swirled his wine glass. “So Erik, what do you think of the rumors that the Navy SEALs are going to allow the first woman to try BUD/S?”
I almost choked on the glass of water I was sipping. Great. This was the last conversation I wanted to have in front of Aria. “Well, we haven’t heard of anything in the pipeline yet.” I looked over at Aria, her face turning red. “But, I’ll be honest with you. No woman will make it through. And even if one could pass, she would ruin the cohesiveness of the Teams.”
Aria stood up. “Pardon me; I need to go to the ladies’ room.” She hurried toward the back of the restaurant, and my stomach dropped. I had pissed her off again. I just hoped she would forgive me and come back. But this was a business dinner. They were interested in hiring me because I was decisive and had convictions. I always said what I thought, even if it wasn’t politically correct.
Mr. Johnson leaned over to me. “Son, you really impressed me tonight. For such a young man, you are very well spoken and intelligent. We find that our younger employees need someone that is more relatable. We would love to hire you to conduct a week-long training program for our employees.”
Yes! I wanted to scream with elation as the warmth and pride radiated through my body. “Thank you, sir. I have some leave coming up next month. I’d be honored. This means a lot to me. I won’t let you down.”
“I know you won’t. One more thing,” he leaned in close, “don’t let a woman like that get away. If you are as smart as I think you are, you’ll marry her.”
Aria
Today was my final mermaid fitness class. Erik had insisted we stay at the hotel last night because we both had too much to drink. He drove me back over the bridge early for my class.
As I walked into the Del pool for the final time, Isa greeted me with a present.
I hugged her. “You shouldn’t have.”
“It’s just something small. I’m so sad to see you go. Are you sure you can’t do another month? All of our classes have been sold out because of you.”
“I’m sure. I have another adventure lined up.” I paused. “Hey, I noticed you guys don’t have a dog. Is there any reason?”
She gave me a quizzical expression. “Actually, we were just talking about getting one the other day. Grady wants an English Bulldog, so we’ve been looking at rescues. Why?”
I bit my lip. “I’m in a bind. I have to go away to train for a bit, but I’ll be coming back here in around six months. I have nowhere for Flounder to go. He’s a great dog. My mom won’t take him. Is there any way you would consider watching him?”
“Of course I would. Let me text Grady.”
She typed on her phone as I opened the present. It was a picture of Erik and me staring at each other in the pool the day he took my class. My breathing slowed as the memory took over and my body felt heavy. I was so conflicted. Hard as I tried to fight it, I still cared about him very much. And he’d been extra sweet to me lately, so it was impossible to stay mad. All through dinner last night, I had warmed up to the thought of being brutally honest with him about my insecurities about his intentions toward me and about my future plans. I had considered that maybe I had been wrong about him using me to snag a client. The conversation had focused mostly on Erik’s impressive career, and I hadn’t felt at all like he had been using me.
In fact, I believed now with a hundred percent certainty that he just wanted me by his side and I obviously had blown the whole thing out of proportion. Yes, he had mentioned that maybe I would be good at working at TritonFix, but his reasoning was correct. Many Olympians were motivational speakers.
And as angry as I had been with him that night he asked me, I had no intention of using him. Even so, I wanted to try Dirty Name again.
Unfortunately, my feelings toward Erik didn’t matter. He had again reiterated his opinion that women shouldn’t be SEALs. And that was a deal breaker for us.
We couldn’t be together…no matter how much I wanted it to work out.
Isa looked back up at me. “Grady said no problem. But wait, why didn’t you ask Erik?”
Think fast. “Oh, I would’ve. But he deploys so much.”
“That’s right. Well, don’t worry about Flounder. We will take great care of him.”
“Thanks. You don’t know how much this means to me. And thank you again for this picture. I love it.”
“You’re welcome.”
The guests began to arrive. As I taught my final class, my thoughts returned to Erik. I had just over twenty-four hours left with him, and then I would have to say goodbye. How could I now live without him? I craved him. Who would I turn to when I needed support? Who would write him letters and tell him how much he was loved when he was deployed? The thought of disappearing from his life was ripping my heart out. Within the next two weeks, I’d be reporting for Officer Candidate School.
But in six months I would return to this island.
I would become the first female Navy SEAL. And maybe, just maybe, Erik would amend his views on women in combat. If he did, perhaps we would have a chance of then starting a real relationship. But I wouldn’t hold my breath. As Erik had reminded me about his buddies’ who had drowned, sometimes holding your breath was the end of your world.
Erik
I woke with Aria cuddled on my chest, her long hair splayed across the pillow. A surge of lust flowed through me. It was Sunday morning, and I wanted to spend all day with her in bed. I slipped out of the covers careful not to wake her and let Flounder outside. Her dog ran around the tiny yard his ears flapping in the ocean breeze. A great dog, a gorgeous woman in bed, my idea of the perfect Sunday.
A few minutes later, Aria emerged from the bedroom rubbing her eyes.
I greeted her with a kiss. “Morning, babe.”
“Morning. You hungry? I could make us some breakfast.”
“I’ve got a better idea. Why don’t we hop in my car and get brunch in Cardiff-by-the-Sea? It’s a great little beach town.”
She didn’t reply, just stared at me with a furrowed brow.
“Do you have any other suggestions?”
“No.” She paused. “Okay, actually I do. You’re going to think I’m crazy, but ever since I ran the “O” course, I’m obsessed with Dirty Name. Is there any way you will take me back to base so I can try it? Once I master it, we can head up the coast.”
“Babe, it’s our last day together before you leave.”
“I know. And we can spend the rest of the day doing whatever you want. Can’t we go for just an hour?”
What the fuck? “No. It’s my day off. The last thing I want to do is go to work. I know men about to go through BUD/S who don’t even practice on the weekend. Just forget about it.”
She shook her head. “I can’t. You don’t understand . . . I just have to complete it to move on. It’s this thing I have. It’s going to drive me insane.”
I studied her face. She made strong eye contact with me, and her posture was erect with her chest jutting out. Determined, resolute.
Part of the reason I had pursued her was for this very reason—that she was a champion. It would be ridiculous for me to begrudge that quality now.
“It isn’t built for women because the second log hits right at your breast bone. You have to catapult yourself up and land on your waist.”
She nodded. “Yes, I know. I’ve studied videos since I failed.”
Studied videos? What? Why? Was she watching Youtube clips? “It’s just an obstacle course. You’ve won a gold medal. Who gives a fuck if you don’t complete it? It’s not like you’re training to be the first female SEAL.”
Her mouth flew open, but she quickly shut it.
And for a second a wild crazy thought crossed through my head.
Maybe she was.
Holy shit.
That could’ve explained why she had been so mad when I’d said that I didn’t think women should be SEALs. Why she was being evasive about her training. Why she was so damn determined to finish Dirty Name.
I rubbed the back of my neck and stared at her. Not as a woman, not as a girlfriend, but as a warrior.
I objectively assessed her. She wasn’t anything like the type of women who I thought would want to become SEALs. Why would she give up her career, her sport, and her endorsements to join the military?
Then again, Kyle had.
My superior officer Kyle had traded in his baller lifestyle for a life in the Teams. Kyle had done it because he believed in our mission. But he had also once confided in me, that he had also done it because he wanted a challenge.
I bet Aria felt the same way.
And her father had been a SEAL. Maybe she was doing this as a way to create some type of connection with the father she had never met?
Heat rose in my chest. Was she playing me? Using me to get an edge?
I forced my mind to calm and pushed those crazy thoughts out of my head.
No. I had it wrong. That wasn’t it at all. She was just a driven champion. An Olympian. A feminist. A woman who would stop at nothing to achieve her goals. She probably saw Dirty Name as some sort of American gladiator like challenge. Hell, maybe we could team up together and win one of those couples’ fitness events. And no doubt, we would win.
I exhaled and relaxed my shoulders. “Fine, champ. I’ll take you to the course for one hour and work with you. But that’s it. If you don’t complete it, you need to just move on. And for the rest of the day, we’re going to relax. No training, no workouts, no ocean swims. I want pizza and beer. Deal?”
“Deal.” She hugged me. “Thank you so much, babe. This means a lot to me. I feel like you’re the only person I’ve ever met who understands my drive.”
“I do, but here’s the thing. Everyone fails. When a member of my Team tells me he has failed, I say good. Not because I’m an asshole, not because I don’t care, but because every time you fail you have the opportunity to improve.”
Her mouth contorted. “But that’s the thing, Erik. Of course, I’ve failed. I never told you this, but a few years before the Olympics, I fumbled a body jump at the Collegiate national championships. I cost my team the gold. I was humiliated, filled with shame. My mom never lets me hear the end of it and my coach couldn’t even look me in the eye. But I regrouped and improved. I’ve never quit, and I’m not going to start now.”
I embraced the woman in front of me as my heartbeat quickened. I wasn’t just attracted to her; I respected her. She was the type of woman who wouldn’t give up on anything that was important to her. The type of woman who had her own interests and goals and could be faithful to me when I was fighting a war on the other side of the globe. I’d only known her for a month, but my feelings toward her were not casual.
I was falling in love with her.
Mr. Johnson was right. I should marry her.
Aria
We cruised down to the base on our bikes. I loved the feeling of the ocean breeze blowing through my hair and the scent of the salt water tickling my nostrils. This life was the life I wanted to live. Eric supported me, unlike any person I have ever met. If he could only accept my career path, I knew we could make it work. Maybe if I mastered Dirty Name today, it would give me the strength to tell him. And he would see that I could pass BUD/S.
My mom had always pushed me, but it was for her benefit not for mine. She used my success to validate herself. As if raising an Olympian somehow proved that she was a good mother.
News flash it didn’t.
My mom had sacrificed for me, no doubt, but she was cruel and emotionally abusive. I frequently felt that my only worth to her was what I could accomplish and that she didn’t love me for me.
Erik, on the other hand, pushed my boundaries. Ever since I’d met him only a month ago, he had already had a positive effect on my happiness.
As icing on the cake, unbeknownst to him, he was also giving me an advantage to help me achieve my goal.
And after our dinner the other night, I was even more impressed by him. I wanted him to succeed. I was proud to be by his side. I could help him as much as he could help me.
I think I’m in love with him.
Once we arrived on base Erik led me to the “O” course. This time I was in luck as a bunch of BUD/S instructors were training candidates nearby. Around twenty men stood on the shore of the beach holding Swift boats above their heads. These were the men who had completed hell week last week. The winners. The sight of my future filled my soul with adrenaline. I was so close to my dream that I could taste salt water in my mouth and feel the sand embedded in my skin.
Erik turned to me. “Okay, champ, we’re going to try this again. Place both of your feet hip distance apart, and jump so your hips wrap around the first hurdle.”
I took a deep breath and focused on the hurdle. For years, I’d worked with a sports psychiatrist, and I had learned to practice creative visualization. How to psych myself out before competitions. Imagine my body executing the flawless routine had become my daily mental practice.
Dirty Name would be no match for me.
I steadied my feet on the log, bent in a squat position, and jumped on the hurdle.
Smack. My body hit with a thud and dropped into the sand.
“Again.” Erik’s voice was calm and reassuring. Just what I needed.
I jumped again, with the same disastrous result.
And again.
And again.
For the next fucking hour, I jumped so many times that my entire body ached. I should’ve given up, but I couldn’t stop. Like an addict, I kept returning to the starting point, unwilling to accept defeat.
I jumped again, this time face planting against the wood, splitting my lip open. I wiped the blood off my mouth, picked myself off the dirt, and walked back to the starting point.
Erik ran over to me. “Okay, babe, that’s enough. Seriously. You did a great job, and I’m proud of you. But you need to give it up. I’m going to call it.”
“No.” My voice shook. “You have to let me try again. I can do it. I’ve almost got it.”
He pulled me into him and held me tight. “Hey, what’s with you? Why is this so important to you? You act like it’s life and death. It’s not like you’re one of those guys out there whose career depends on this course.” He pointed to the BUD/s candidates, now riding the waves in their boats.
Ha. He would reexamine every bit of our relationship in his head next year when he learned the truth.
But right now, I couldn’t deal with him. Like a petulant child, I stormed off.
He caught up to me. “Aria, what the fuck is going on with you? You are blowing hot and cold with me. I get it. You’re competitive. But you can’t win every time. And it’s okay.”
I turned to him, my face red and blotchy, the metallic taste of blood dripping down my throat. I couldn’t hold back any longer. My emotions burst onto the sand. “It
’s not okay. You have everything. You’re gorgeous, have a dream career, and a family who loves you. All I have is winning. I have no close friends, I never met my father and I never will, and my mom is abusive and uses me. I have nothing. No one cares about synchro. Winning is the only thing I’ve ever been good at.”
God, I sounded pathetic, but I couldn’t hold back.
He clutched my shoulders and forced me to look at him. “You have me. I fucking love you. I can’t fight it anymore. Don’t you get that? I love you, Aria, though I’m not sure why, because honestly, you’re a fucking mess, but I love you anyway. I’ve never met a woman like you. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted. I can make you happy. We could be the best team. We’d be unstoppable together.”
OMG! Did he just say he loved me? My heart leaped for joy. I was in love with him, and he was in love with me. We loved each other. He had seen my quirkiness, my madness, and yet still loved me.
But I couldn’t tell him how much I loved him.
No. No.
There was no room in my world for love. None. Not now. Definitely not now.
And he may love me now, but his love would turn to hate when he realized the secret I had been keeping from him.
He would leave me the second he found out I had joined the Navy on a BUD/S contract.
My hands shook and my vision blurred. How had I let this get so far? This was supposed to be a summer fling and nothing more.
I had to end this.
I had to end this now.
I stared at this fine ass man in front of me. A man who I never thought in my wildest dreams would be attracted to me, let alone tell me he loved me. I prayed for the strength to tell the only guy I had ever loved goodbye.
“Love me? You don’t even know me. You don’t know anything about the real me.”
He shook his head and clasped my hands in his. “You’re wrong, sweetheart. I do know you. I see you, Aria. The real you. You are so determined and strong. You will stop at nothing to win. You are worthy of being loved. Please, stop shutting me out. Let me love you.”
Heroes Ever After Boxset: Books 1-3 Page 28
