Grace shook her head. “Seth, if my brother finds out you’re talking to me, he’s going to go after you again.”
Seth huffed out a dark laugh. “You think I don’t know that?”
“Then what are you doing?”
“You’re worth it, Grace,” he almost yelled. “You’re worth getting my ass kicked for.”
From where I was standing, I could see Grace clearly, and I could see that goddamn trembling again. “No, I’m not, Seth.” Her voice sounded hollow and just plain exhausted. “I’m not worth it.”
“Grace-”
“Girls like Mara Creed, who volunteers every weekend to help the homeless are worth it. Girls like Jamia Lattisaw, who tutors middle school kids after school three days a week are worth it. Girls like Pepper Stevenson, who is always running charity campaigns that I was too stuck-up, snotty, selfish, condescending, and self-centered to help out is worth it.” I’m not sure if the tears that started streaming down Grace’s lovely face were from anger, regret, or sadness, but I hated to see them, all the same. “I’m not worth it, Seth,” she repeated. “Even as horrible a person as you are, you might deserve to get your ass kicked for a lot of things, but I’m not one of them.”
“How can you say that?” he snapped. “You’re Grace Hale. You’re worth…everything.”
Grace wiped her face with one hand as he held on to her books with the other. “You’re wrong, Seth,” she told him. Then she let out a hollow laugh. “I’m worth less than someone who knows how to change their own tire.”
Her words were like a kick to the chest.
“Grace-”
“Leave me alone, Seth. Just…stay away from me before I have to tell my brother.” With that she walked away from him and I hid deeper in the shadows as she went back into the building and Seth Burns started kicking one of the patio sets and cussing up a storm.
Once he was finished throwing his tantrum, I remained where I was, mindless of the first warning bell. Grace’s words played over, and over in my head, and I couldn’t make sense of them.
Since when did Grace see herself as stuck-up, snotty, selfish, condescending, and self-centered? Since when were those bad things to her? And since when did she even know the names of students like Mara Creed, Jamia Lattisaw, and Pepper Stevenson?
When the second warning bell finally rang, I made my way to my locker, so I could exchange my books. Walking up, I could see Davion leaning up against my locker.
He eyed me as I walked up. “What’s up?”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Nothing,” I lied. “Just got caught up with some stuff.”
“Well, I gotta run,” he said. “But I just wanted to tell you there’s a party in the dorms this weekend. “It’s Larissa Crane’s birthday, and her friends are throwing her a party.”
I closed my eyes briefly before opening my locker. “Use protection, dude,” I advised sardonically. “I can only imagine how wild that party’s going to be.” Scholarship dorm kids didn’t party often, so when they did, they were epic and exclusive. The elite of Blackstone were never invited, not that they’d lower themselves to mingle with the common folk, but still. A party without the likes of Seth Burns was a plus.
Davion was walking backwards with a huge grin on his face. “I always do,” he chuckled before turning around and hustling his way to second period.
I quickly grabbed my Econ shit and made my way towards second period. While I had first, fifth, and sixth period with Grace, I had second and seventh with her brother. I’ve never had a problem with Sterling Hale, and the day Grace wanted to change her tire was the first and only time we’ve ever spoken. I wasn’t sure if knew about me and his sister, but one thing was clear where Sterling Hale was concerned, and that was that nothing mattered more to the guy than his sister.
When I walked into second, my eyes automatically sought him out for some reason. Since I was running late, he was already seated at his desk in the back of the room. When my eyes met his, his back straightened and his chin lifted as if he were waiting for me to do or stay something. I took my seat and ignored the fact that I may be on Hale’s radar and what that could mean for me. It was no secret that Sterling Hale wasn’t the prince of Blackstone Prep Academy; he was the king. If he wanted anyone gone, they’d be shown the door immediately.
So, why was Seth Burns still here?
If Seth did something to Grace that warranted Sterling beating the crap out of him, why wouldn’t Sterling send him packing?
Blessedly, I got through the rest of the day without incident. Davion kept bugging me about Larissa’s party until I agreed to go. I had no problem being a wingman, but I had no interest in getting involved with someone who might cause problems for me at Blackstone if things went sour. And that thought got me to thinking about how I needed to talk with Claire.
School was officially over, but because my talent with music was not a secret to the higher ups, I was allowed to frequent the music room after hours whenever I wanted to. As I walked into the music room, I ignored how I’ve been coming in here more often than usual ever since Grace approached me all those weeks ago. But music soothed me, and I needed soothing a lot more lately. I also had today off from work because Allen needed to trade days with someone for an appointment he had. And since I had no life, I volunteered to switch days with him.
Setting my backpack on the floor next to the piano, I walked over to the violin case. I picked up the Lord Wilton from the group of expensive violins and went to go sit in one of the symphonic seats. I played a lot of instruments well, but the violin and the piano were my favorite with the piano being at the top of my list.
There was just something about the music both instruments could create that just made me feel. Their sounds felt like magic. And because those sounds were created by human hands, it felt as if it were possible for mere humans to touch on the belief of magic and miracles.
As I strung the bow across the strings, I thought about Claire. We’ve been friends for so long, I wasn’t overly worried that things would end badly, but there was a small part of me that wasn’t entirely sure. We’ve been hooking up for over a year, and all I could hope for was that she meant what she had said on her end. She had promised not to confuse the sex with love and had assured me that she knew the difference. But how many times has a girl told a guy that, or vice versa?
The thing is, Claire wasn’t just a hookup. We’d been friends for years. We grew up together, and I adored her.
As a friend.
The music started coming out stronger, and my mind started to clear. I would deal with Claire tomorrow, but for right now, I wanted to get lost in the music and revel in the knowledge that I only had a few months to go at BPA. Soon, I’d be able to leave all this shit behind me and start somewhere new. I knew it wasn’t exactly running, but it was close.
But I needed peace.
Peace from Blackstone. And peace from Grace Hale.
Especially, peace from Grace Hale.
Chapter 11
Grace~
This was probably the first outing I’ve been on since the beginning of the school year, if you could count going with London to get her phone screen fixed an actual outing. However, the weeks were getting easier, and I was feeling better, all things considered.
More and more people were starting to say hello back to me, and my phone’s stopped ringing off the hook with texts and calls inviting me to parties and social gatherings, and then, coming back, demanding answers when I kept saying no.
For the most part, almost everyone’s accepted that I was done with popularity gig, and they were respecting my wish to just be left alone. The only person who kept pestering me was Seth, and I knew I was going to have to shut him down soon before my brother did it for me.
When Sterling had gone after Seth, everyone had assumed it hadn’t been that serious because everyone knew that Sterling had the power to get Seth thrown out of Blackstone if that were his wish. However, I had been so upset over Leah, Sterling ha
d agreed to let Seth continue to go to Blackstone in an attempt to make sure Seth didn’t spill all of Leah’s secrets. Even if Leah had engaged in threesomes, or whatever, with Seth and his friends, there’s no way his friends would know the real reason Leah had killed herself. She had done it because had gotten pregnant and Seth had cast her aside, not because she’d had sex with different boys. It was a small way to preserve Leah’s memory as much as I could.
We stood outside the store after dropping off London’s phone. “So, what do you want to do for a couple of hours?”
I looked over at her. It was Wednesday, after school, and the only thing to do was eat. “We can go to Jacko’s?” I suggested.
London let out a huff. “I feel like I gain twenty pounds every damn time I order from that place.”
“I know, right,” I agreed.
Jacko’s was an old-fashion eatery that wasn’t healthy in the least. The place used real butter, and real sugar, and real syrup, and…well, you get the picture. It was a heart attack and diabetes waiting to happen, but every single thing they made was so, so, so damn good. And there wasn’t a smoothie or low-calorie anything in sight on the whole damn menu. It was Heaven on your tongue, and it was only a block away from the phone store.
“Walk?”
“Yeah,” I answered. “If we’re going to stuff ourselves, we’ll need all the exercise we can get.”
We started heading over when London surprised me. “Patton Ridley’s been asking about you.”
My brows drew downward as I looked over at her. “Why?”
London smirked and rolled her eyes. “Why do you think, Grace?” She gave me a ‘duh’ look. “He likes you.”
My head reared back. “He does?”
“Yeah, he does,” she replied. “He’s been ambushing me for the past two weeks trying to get the scoop.”
I laughed. “The scoop?”
She grinned. “He just wants to make sure you and Seth are really over before he makes his move. He doesn’t want to get caught up in a love triangle.”
I snorted. “There’s no danger of that. It’s been almost four months,” I reminded her. “That ship has definitely sailed.”
“I told him that, but I think because you and Seth had dated for so long, Patton’s a bit wary about diving in.”
I shrugged a shoulder. “Even if I was interested in Patton, why start something now?” I asked. “We’ll be going on winter break soon, and then, after that, we’ll only be a few months away from graduation. What’s the point?”
London let out a dramatic sigh. “Sex, Grace,” she expelled. “Sex is the point.”
My head swiveled around to check and make sure no one was close enough to hear her madness. “Want to shout it louder?”
Her head dropped back, and she faced the sky, praying for me. When she was done, she looked back over at me. “Just because we’re virgins doesn’t mean we don’t know any pleasure, Grace,” she said. “Even if we’re not giving it up, you can’t tell me a guy’s hands on you doesn’t feel awesome.”
I couldn’t argue her point.
Even if I hadn’t been madly in love with Seth, there was no denying that it felt good to be held by another human being. It felt good to be desired. It felt good to be lost in a kiss. It felt good to feel exploratory hands bringing you to new heights.
Before Styx, I had kissed boys before, but that had been it. I had never liked a boy enough to go further with them. Not even a little over-the-shirt action. It had always been kisses and hand holding even when other girls had already begun having sex. I just hadn’t ever met a guy who had stirred more out of me.
But then, I had met Styx.
In a few, short weeks, our kisses had turned into heavy petting. And soon, it had morphed into an exploration of our mouths and hands. Styx had been the first guy to ever put his hands on my bare skin and to have ever made it inside my panties. His fingers had been the first to fill me and his penis had been the first I had ever felt. I still wasn’t sure why we had never gone any further, but I often wondered if he had taken it slow because he had believed we’d have plenty of time for all that later.
Little had he known.
Seth had gotten as far as his hand up my shirt, but his chivalrous nature had quickly shown itself to be a lie when I had overheard him talking with Leah. Seth hadn’t needed to rush me because he hadn’t needed me to fulfill his sexual needs. He’d been getting that from Leah the entire time. Hell, for all I knew, he could have been getting it from multiple girls the entire time we’d been dating. How did I know different?
“While I concede that a pair of warm, rough hands on your body does feel good, I’m not in a place to start a relationship with anyone,” I pointed out.
London scoffed. “So, then, tell him you just want to get laid and to check the lovey-dovey shit at the door.” I laughed. It’s a wonder this girl was still a virgin. London didn’t shy away from anything. But then, I guess that’s why she was still a virgin. She wasn’t one to do anything she didn’t want to do.
We reached Jacko’s, and as I looked around for a place to sit, I was hit with the sight of Styx Reinhart sitting in a corner booth with a blonde. I couldn’t see her face, but she was definitely blonde, and she looked like she had Styx’s undivided attention, he was so focused on her.
London must have seen what I had because she quickly said, “We can go somewhere else, Grace.”
I tore my gaze away from the couple and looked over at London. “No,” I sighed. “It’s something I deserve to see, don’t you think?”
London shook her head. “I wish you’d quick punishing yourself, Grace. We all make mistakes,” she said softly.
“Being cruel is not making a mistake, London,” I replied. “Being mean in the heat of the moment is making a mistake. Being cruel to people because you think you’re better than them is not making a mistake. I was horrible to him, London. Horrible.” Her eyes softened, and she knew she couldn’t argue my point. I was right and we both knew it.
We were met with a hostess who led us to a table almost opposite of Styx and his friend. Karma was on-point today, but it was okay. Even if things were getting better for me, Styx was still my one greatest sin.
I had loved him.
I had loved him, and I had treated him the worst. Which just proved that, like my character, my love had been tainted as well. Or maybe I just hadn’t known how to love someone back then. I wasn’t sure. I just knew that whatever I felt for Styx was strong in its pull. It might still be love, or it might be guilt, but whatever it was, it wasn’t letting me go.
When we were being seated, his chocolate gaze shot up, and his eyes locked on mine as I went to take my seat. But not caring if it looked cowardly or not, I asked London to switch sides with me, and I had silently wished that I hadn’t.
His friend, or whatever she was to him, was beautiful.
So, I sat there, and pretended that everything was okay as I did my best not to slide glances at the attractive blonde who had blue eyes.
And I especially did my best not to notice how they’d reach across the table and hold each other’s hands every now and again.
I also did my best to ignore how my heart felt like it was cracking in two when it had no right.
Chapter 12
Styx~
Jacko’s had the best food in existence. Now, granted, I haven’t eaten in every eatery around the world, but I still stood by my claim. There’s wasn’t a tofu item in sight on Jacko’s menu, and rightfully so.
Today was Wednesday, and I didn’t have to be at the shop until six. Today was my short day, working only from six to ten, and tomorrow was my day off. I had texted Claire asking her to meet me at Jacko’s because if shit went south, I had tomorrow off to go see her and try to salvage our friendship.
Claire and I hadn’t started this out as two people who had always had a thing for each other and had finally acted on it. No. It hadn’t been anything like that. Always around each other, it hadn’t be
en a big surprised when we had all gathered for Zeke’s sixteenth birthday party. We had all been there along with several other kids from the neighborhood and Dayton High. Zeke, with his easygoing personality, had many acquaintances, if only a few real friends. But everyone had made it out for his party, and it had been a great time. Alcohol had been flowing, but there’d been no drugs and no fights.
And with alcohol flowing, I had found myself teasing Claire, and she had teased back. One thing had led to another, and the next day, we’d had the talk about what it was and what the expectations were. Claire hadn’t been my first and I found out that night that I hadn’t been hers, not that it had bothered me. A girl’s virginity, and who she wanted to give it to, was her business. I had actually lost mine within a month of Grace destroying me. I had foolishly believed that fucking another girl would help with the heartache, but I had been wrong.
So very wrong.
With the details ironed out, Claire had become a safe choice, and we’d been using each other ever since. However, I never caught feelings for her beyond friendship, and I prayed it was the same for her.
Our food served, and small talk finished, Clair focused those baby-blues at me. “Okay, Styx. Spill it.” I couldn’t help but grin.
She knew me well.
“You’re going to make me say it, aren’t you?” I joked.
Her face was struggling with the smile threatening to break through. “I have no idea to what you are referring to, sir.”
I barked out a laugh. “You’re a dick, Claire.”
The smile persevered and lit up her face. “I learned from the best,” she teased.
All the tension in my shoulders melted away. “I know you felt it, Claire,” I said, getting serious.
She let out a deep sigh and popped a fry in her mouth. After chewing it to bits and swallowing, she said, “Yeah. I felt it.”
“Is it going to be weird?” No point in pussyfooting around this shit.
Her blue eyes were full of honesty when she said, “I don’t see why it would be.” She shrugged a shoulder. “I mean…it’s not like we hooked up, and then, became friends. We’re friends first, Styx. You’re a friend I had sex with, not someone I had sex with who was my friend. If that makes sense.”
The Blackstone Prep Academy Duet Page 6
