It did.
Our feelings for each other were of the friendship variety and not the passionate loving kind. Our friendship was at the forefront of our relationship, not the sex.
“It’s just…strange, kind of.”
“What is?” she asked before popping another fry in her mouth.
I looked into her beautiful face and wondered how the heart chose who it chose. There was nothing unattractive about Claire, and even having slept with her, my heart felt nothing beyond our friendship. “How I can sleep with you for so long, but…”
She smirked. “Not feel anything?” I nodded. Her face softened. “It’s a ridiculous and flippant saying, but the heart wants what the heart wants, Styx. Don’t beat yourself up over what is and what you think should be. Life will hammer you hard, thinking like that.”
“I know there’s more to emotions than that, Claire,” I said dryly.
She grinned. “No offense, Styx. But for all the great things you can do in the sack, I’m not looking to be tied to a guy who makes my body sing but doesn’t make my heart want to explode inside my chest.” I barked out a laugh at her words, and how they reminded me how I had been thinking the same thing not a few weeks before. “I don’t want to settle for safe. I want my love story to be insane.”
I gave her an understanding nod, but just when I was going to go about eating my food now that we’d established that we were good, my eyes caught sight of a head of black hair. When my eyes shot up, I saw Grace and London being escorted to a booth almost opposite of where me and Claire were seated. And my first thought was that I was never going to escape this girl.
The second she noticed me, she tensed, and then had London switch sides with her. I should have been grateful for the concession, but if I was going to have to endure her presence, the least I should be granted was to be able to see her stunning fucking face.
I felt Claire’s hand reach over and take mine in hers. “Styx?”
I forced my gaze away from Grace and looked at Claire. “Hm?”
“You look a little murderous,” she said quietly. “Are you okay?”
I squeezed her hands. “I’m fine.”
She knew I was lying to her. “It’s her, isn’t it?”
All my real friends knew about how I had spent a summer with Grace Hale, but none of them had known the extent of damage she had done. Much like my sister and parents, I hadn’t wanted pity. I hadn’t need them to add more emotion to an already emotional situation for me. All they knew was that we had been seeing each other, and then, we weren’t. And much like everyone in Dayton knew who Sterling Hale was, they knew who Grace Hale was. The Hale twins were practically royalty, and it hadn’t help that they were attractive royalty.
And I knew what Claire was asking. She wasn’t asking me if it was Grace sitting near us, she knew it was. Everyone knew what Grace and Sterling looked like. They were stalked on social media like true celebrities. Claire had been asking if it was her in the capacity of if that’s why I was looking murderous.
“It’s been over two years, Styx,” she said as if I’d forgotten that fact, or anything else having to do with Grace Hale. “If she still affects you this way…”
That was the problem, though.
I didn’t know how Grace affected me.
I knew I was pissed at her. I knew I had some deep seeded resentment towards her. And I’ve hated her for so long, I had forgotten what it had felt like to be in love with her.
And then, she tried to change her own tire.
And then, she started saying hi and smiling at people who were socially below her.
And then, she told Seth Burns she wasn’t worthy of having someone fight for her.
They say indifference is the only true form of moving on from someone, but if that’s true, I should have moved on from Grace Hale. I had managed to ignore her existence for over two years. I hadn’t thought about her and I hadn’t paid her any mind, even as we shared classes together.
But with every emotion she’s been pulling from me since the day she walked up to me at my locker, I was quickly realizing that I never got over Grace. I erased her from my life because it had been the only way to cope with what she had done to me.
It hadn’t been indifference.
It had been self-preservation.
I looked at one of my oldest and dearest friends and told her the truth. “I think I’m always going to love Grace Hale.” Claire’s shoulders dropped, and that was exactly the reason I hadn’t told anyone what Grace had done to me.
The goddamn pity.
“Let’s get out of here,” she suggested, and it was the best idea she’s had all day.
I threw enough money on the table to cover our tab and the tip, and I didn’t protest when Claire linked her fingers with mine and pulled me behind her as we walked out. And as much of a pussy as it made me, I was grateful for the anchor.
I was grateful for Claire; for the people who mattered most in my life.
When we reached Claire’s car, she threw her arms around me and hugged me like a violent octopus. She knew I was hurting, though she wasn’t sure why exactly.
I hugged her back, and thanked God that I hadn’t lost her friendship, now that our arrangement was over. Real people were hard to come by these days, and I knew that fact firsthand.
I opened her door, so she could get in. And after I shut it firmly and made sure she had her seatbelt on, I walked back to my car, forcing myself not to look into the front window of Jacko’s.
Chapter 13
Grace~
I cried myself to sleep last night.
I had gotten home, hung out with London and Sterling, did my homework, showered, and then, just when I couldn’t put it off any longer, I had crawled into bed and cried into the night.
I was still in love with Styx Reinhart.
I knew it like I knew my own name, and it fucking hurt.
Regret felt like razor blades all over chest. Remorse burned hot in my gut. I had broken up with Styx two years ago, but the devastation of what I had done was finally hitting me, now that I was no longer blinded by the asshole I had been. Sterling was right when he had told my parents I had met the perfect boy, but I had thrown him away because I had been raised to be snooty, stuck-up, materialistic, and just plain damn horrible.
It was Thursday, at the end of the day, and I was putting all my stuff away. London was in detention again. And this time, she was in there for telling Professor Beechum that his theories on social change were wrong, and that, perhaps, the science club could invent a clue for him.
He had decided to make an example out of her.
I shut the door to my locker and my knees almost gave out on me as I came face-to-face with Styx Reinhart. My heart started beating this painful, painful tattoo inside my chest, but I held firm for whatever this was.
“Why did you come up to me that day, Grace?” he asked, not beating around the bush.
I adjusted the straps of my purse over my shoulder with one hand while my other hand tightened around the strap of my backpack that was hanging at my side.
I could do this.
“I…” His dark brown gaze felt like a spear in my gut. “I…uhm…”
“Spit it out,” he snapped.
“I…wanted to tell you that…” I felt like I was having a goddamn heart attack. “I…I wanted to tell you I was sorry for…” I couldn’t finish. I loathed to say the words with how wrong I was.
“Sorry for what?” I knew he wasn’t going to let me off the hook, and he shouldn’t, really.
“F…for how I treated you…that day,” I finally said.
He looked livid.
His handsome face looked wrought with pure fury.
“For how you treated me,” he repeated.
I nodded. “I…I was wrong,” I admitted. “I…I know what I did is unforgivable, but…I still wanted you to know that I’m sorry. I’m so deeply sorry, Styx.”
His face cleared of all emotion as he
stepped into my personal space. His voice was a husky whisper as he asked, “And just how sorry are you, Grace?”
My body froze.
My breaths started to come in pants, and I could feel my hands start to sweat. I managed to maintain eye contact somehow, but I wasn’t sure how much more of this conversation I could take. Not after the realization that hit me last night. Over the years, I’ve experienced little moments in time where I thought I might still be in love with Styx, but I knew it for a fact after last night, and this exchange was doing a number on me.
“Wh…what do you mean?”
Then, I watched in stunned disbelief as Styx reached out his hand and to cup my face. “I mean, how sorry are you, Grace?”
I told him the truth. “More than you’ll ever know.”
His warm hand felt forbidden on my skin as his thumb rubbed back and forth over my jaw. “Sorry enough to try to make it up to me?” And my stomach dropped at the implications of his words.
I knew what he was asking.
I also knew what he was doing.
He wanted to humiliate me.
He wanted me to have sex with him, so he could use me and toss me aside afterwards.
I knew it.
I knew it like I knew my own name.
He wanted to make me feel as worthless as I had made him feel, the day I had dismissed him.
I could feel the pressure start behind my eyes, and my heart was already beginning the process of being broken.
Because I was going to let him do it.
I was going to let him do it because I owed him.
“Yes,” I replied, my voice a tortured whisper.
Surprise flashed behind his whiskey gaze, but only for a second. He masked it so quickly, I would have missed it hadn’t I been captivated by his intense stare.
Without another word, he reached down and grabbed my backpack with one hand while he took my, now, free hand in his. I didn’t protest or ask any questions as he pulled me behind him. I also almost wept at the feeling of my hand in his. It took me back to a time before I had fucked it all up.
Before I had fucked us all up.
I still didn’t say anything when we got to the music room, and he opened the door. We weren’t supposed to be here after hours, but something told me that, with all of Styx’s musical talent, he probably had permission to be in here whenever he wanted.
Once we were inside, Styx locked the door and dropped my backpack just inside the room. I stood there, not saying anything, as he reached out and pulled my purse from my shoulder. I watched as he dumped it near my backpack.
“Last chance, Grace,” he said, warning me.
I stared at the boy I had been too stupid to know how to love, and there was no way I was not going to give this to him. I had to clear my throat before I could speak. “I’ll…I’ll do whatever you ask,” I promised.
“Whatever?”
We stood there in our school uniforms, staring at each other in a battle stance, knowing only one of us could come out of this the victor.
And it was going to be him.
“Whatever you ask,” I confirmed. “Whatever it takes to make you believe how sorry I am for everything.”
Before I could process what was happening, my back was slammed up against the piano in the middle of the room, and Styx’s hands were tangled in my hair, his lips punishing me in a brutal kiss. And it was a good thing he had me trapped between the piano and his hard, unyielding body because my legs had lost all their strength.
Worse than his assault was how two years of nothing had dissolved with the tangle of our tongues, and I was transported back to that music room at the recreational center.
I was no longer at Blackstone with an angry, hurt Styx Reinhart doing his best to humiliate me. No. I was back at the rec center, getting to know a boy with an intelligence I had never experienced, and musical skills that rivaled the greats.
I was the Grace that had left money and social status behind and had been a good person, even if for only a short time. I was the Grace that had fallen in love with the boy Styx had been before I had broken his heart.
His hands tightened into fists in my hair, and he pulled until I broke off the kiss in a painful gasp. I opened my eyes and hate was now warring with loathing in his beautiful eyes. “Styx…”
“Goddamn it,” he growled before slamming his lips back down on mine.
Soon, his hands were no longer tangled in my hair. Not breaking the kiss at all, Styx’s hands found their way to my thighs, and he easily lifted me off the floor until I was perched on the edge of the piano. He stepped in between my opened legs and there was no mistaking the hard ridge rubbing up against my panties. Blackstone’s female uniforms were a choice between skirts and slacks, and I had always worn the skirts. Even in the dead of winter, I had been so preoccupied with looking cute, I had suffered through the cold just for appearance’s sake.
The second Styx pushed up against me, I moaned and pushed back. I knew where this was leading and I knew why, but I wasn’t going to stop him. If I felt like crap afterwards, it wouldn’t matter. I already felt like crap, so I couldn’t imagine feeling worse.
Styx pulled away from me, and his eyes held me captive as his hand wrapped around my neck, and then, slowly, achingly, and methodically began its descent over my collarbone, down my chest, and over my left breast.
His eyes were wild when he asked, “Are you sorry enough to let me fuck you, Grace?”
I gave him the only answer I could. “Yes.”
Chapter 14
Styx~
Every second that I touched her was another second I got closer to losing my goddamn mind. I had never expected her to say yes.
Never.
And now that my mind and body were flooded with the memory of her taste and the feel of her skin, there was no going back. I was going to take what should have been mine years ago.
Her eyelids were heavy, and her chest was heaving with a heartbeat that rivaled my own. But she didn’t break eye contact as my hand traveled farther down until it felt the warmth of her center. It wasn’t until I slid my fingers inside the cotton gusset of her underwear that her eyes closed, and she fell back against the top of the piano.
It was like traveling back in time. I’d been here before and I knew just how many fingers it took to stretch her tight pussy to soreness. I knew how deep to go to bring her pleasure. And I knew just how to manipulate her channel to drive her out of her mind.
Her fingers turned white with the grip she had on the edge of the piano as I added another finger to the first. Our harsh breaths and her slick wetness were the only things you could hear in the room. But it wouldn’t matter if she started screaming the building down, the music room was insulated for sound.
It was only a matter of minutes before Grace started moaning my name and her pussy began to clench around my fingers. She was cumming all over my hand as if she deserved to, and every hurtful and painful moment this girl has ever caused me came rushing to the surface.
“Not bad,” I said between gritted teeth. “Not the top five I’ve had, but not bad, Grace Hale.”
That’s a lie. You’ve always been at the top.
Her body tensed, but she didn’t push me away or jump up to leave. Grace remained laid out on the piano top, and it pissed me off more.
Grace was too good for what I was about to do to her.
I unbuttoned my uniform slacks in record time and pulled out my hard as fuck cock. Grabbing her thighs, I hauled her to the edge of the piano. I looked down and the sight of her trimmed triangle and bare pussy lips had me ready to nut before I even got inside her.
Because I was so much taller than she was, I was able to lean over and get a look at her face. When her green gaze clashed with mine, I stuck my fingers in my mouth, and licked them clean. “Imagine that,” I taunted. “You taste exactly the same, even though you’ve been riding Burns’ dick all this time.”
You taste perfect, and I don’t care who
you’ve been with.
Grace flinched, but she still didn’t push me away. And with that encouragement, I took my dick in my hand and started rubbing the head up and down between her wet, soft cunt lips. Her eyes were wide with wariness, but she couldn’t suppress her breathy little moans.
“Let’s see just how sorry you are, Grace. Shall we?” I didn’t wait for her answer. I took my cock and shoved it into her tight cunt all the way. Her body bowed over the piano, and she let out a shrilled scream.
My body still and, looking down, I pulled back to see streaks of blood and the evidence of her earlier orgasm coating my dick.
Grace was a virgin.
Grace was a virgin, and I wished to God she hadn’t been.
Hurt and betrayal were powerful emotions.
“Well, look at that,” the voice coming from my lips said, as I shoved my cock back into her tight sheath. “Another virgin’s blood on my cock.”
Not true. You’re the only virgin I’ve ever been with.
“Styx…” It sounded like a sob, but the bastard in me was still reeling from the blow she had delivered two years ago.
“Shh, Grace,” the voice said. “Just lay back and keep proving to me how sorry you are.”
Don’t do it, Grace. Push me away and tell me to go fuck myself.
I pulled out again, but this time, I grabbed onto her thighs and started fucking her as if she weren’t in pain. As if she wasn’t laying there hurt, regretful, and humiliated. And as horrible as this entire scene was playing out, I couldn’t ignore how amazing Grace felt wrapped around my dick. She was everything I always dreamed she would be. And while she had thrown me aside, she hadn’t thrown me aside for someone else.
Seth Burns had never earned her.
Slamming into her body as if I weren’t aware that she was unused, that awful, awful voice taunted her. “Too bad for Burns he wasn’t aware of how you liked to go slumming, huh, Grace?”
The Blackstone Prep Academy Duet Page 7
