Meow Mistletoe

by Lisa Lickel

  “I remember.” Her dry voice let us know she hadn’t gotten over the misleading call. “OK, Greer, Fellents, notes and photos, bag the evidence.”

  “You don’t think this has anything to do with the jewelry store robbery, do you?” I asked.

  “What makes you say that?” Gonzalez replied. “You two,” she said, pointing at me and Adam, “come with me.”

  We followed like contrite children back toward Hooper’s. “I told you so” emanated from Adam. Or maybe it was my guilty conscience. He had been right, and I hadn’t trusted him. I peeked at him sideways.

  Then again, that didn’t mean I couldn’t trust men in general. Did it?

  A tow truck winched Almanzo’s fancy four-wheel-drive extended cab long bed with the turquoise racing stripes. We waited for another car to pass before crossing back to Hooper’s and the cats who kept vigil in the window. I waved at them.

  “I have a Siamese at home,” Gonzalez said.

  Impressed, I asked her pet’s name.

  “Tuptim.”

  Ah. The hardened officer wasn’t so tough after all. I was about to invite her to consider joining CAT when she went back on alert.

  The passing car slowed to a crawl, its driver rubber-necking, then stopping.

  Gonzalez crouched and motioned to us to stay back. The car door opened. A male voice said, “I can explain—”

  “Sir, you are causing a traffic safety hazard. Please get back in your vehicle and drive to a protected area before stopping.”

  A booted and jeaned leg showed. “I’m the one—”

  “Get back inside!”

  “I have—”

  “Now!”

  The man put up his hands, one covered in fresh, white gauze. “OK, yes, sure. I’m sorry. I’m moving.”

  Something white fell to the ground. The man didn’t seem to notice. He reached for his car door, eyes on the irate police officer.

  A shadow from the recesses of another shop, this one unlit, slipped out.

  “Did you see that?” I whispered to Adam. “We should say something.” I took a step.

  “Everyone! Stay where you are! Nobody move! You there…on the sidewalk. Stop what you’re doing.”

  Chatter on Gonzalez’s mic came through after some static. “Confirmed. Gleason’s robbery accomplice vehicle identified as late model midnight blue four door, static, Illinois license beta one static static…”

  Adam and I slowly faced each other. I widened my eyes. Blue car, like the one in front of us. America Remembers Illinois license plate B1C…the rest was covered in slush.

  Heels clattering on pavement reached my side.

  “Rolf? Honey, is that you?” Pfannie called.

  5

  Gonzalez pulled her weapon from its holster, right there in the middle of the street in front of everyone. “Miss, get back inside the building,” she told Pfannie. To the driver, she commanded, “Sir, put your hands on the steering wheel where I can see them. Now.” To the hapless passerby on the sidewalk, she motioned. “Please walk this way with your hands where I can see them.”

  “But that’s Rolf,” Pfannie squealed. “He’s a state trooper.” She looked Gonzalez up and down, as if being a city cop was lesser in reputation.

  “I’ve got ID!” Rolf said.

  “Slowly, then,” Gonzalez said. “Show it.”

  The unfolding scenario whispered around me like mist. I was fading fast. I nudged Pfannie. “Let’s do what she says. They’ll sort this out. Don’t worry. I really need to sit down.” The adrenaline from being tackled and questioned and following a blood trail left me woozy. Also, I had missed the shrimp and cheese and chocolate from the Christmas party while I was helping Pfannie look for her cat that turned out not to be missing. Did that make me an accomplice?

  I shivered. My blood sugar was probably low.

  “But, Rolf!” Pfannie said in a little girl voice. “Did you see that bandage? He needs me.”

  That must have been some errand Rolf went on. Adam caught my elbow when my knees started to go. “Stay back, Pfannie. Be smart.” And who else would grab my other arm?

  “Hey!” the voice of my doom snorted. “I got her,” Almanzo Benteen crowed. “You don’t have to keep showing up like a bad penny,” he told Adam. “I thought you were on your way home already, like, an hour ago.”

  I must not have been having any fun if only an hour had gone by. I’d be forty by the time this night was over, the way time was crawling.

  Adam’s breath came heavily, but he didn’t respond and he didn’t let go. I guess he knew a thing or two about handling bullying customers who always thought they were right. I wobbled and my head and shoulder and cheek hurt enough by now that I leaned on both of them. We six-stepped onto the street.

  “Did you know that lady officer has a Siamese?” I said. “She’s not so tough.”

  “I heard,” Adam said, grunting slightly when my ankles lost strength and he caught me before I went down.

  On my other side Almanzo reached around my waist. I think their hands met as they both withdrew as if they’d been burned. My sore shoulder made contact with Adam. “Oww.”

  “Sorry!”

  “Shh. We better get inside,” Almanzo said. “Something’s going down.”

  Gonzalez, joined by Davidson, slowly approached Rolf’s car. She signaled Davidson, and they got on either side of the car. Fellentz and Greer, weapons out, stealthily crept to front and back.

  It was an eerie scene in the half-light. What were they doing? Rolf wouldn’t hurt a fly. Unless he needed to for his job. He just sat there in his car, hands on the wheel while Gonzalez examined his credentials. Pfannie’s shoulders shook as she wept quietly.

  “Some Christmas party,” I whispered.

  “It wasn’t supposed to be like this! Nothing turns out the way I plan,” she wailed.

  “What’s that white bag he dropped? Can anybody read the logo?”

  “Yeah,” Almanzo said in a husky voice. “Gleason’s.”

  “Oh, no!” Pfannie choked and put her hands over mouth. “He wouldn’t rob a store for me, would he?”

  “You were expecting him to?” I asked.

  “Noooo!”

  “You love Rolf?”

  Adam gave me a brief sideways look at my question.

  “Of course I do! We love each other. I’d do anything for him.”

  “Who was that other guy?” Almanzo asked.

  “Don’t know,” Pfannie said. “Just some guy.”

  We made it inside and the men rushed to the window to look out. Half of the room’s lights were out making the twinkling white lights look much prettier than they had under full fluorescent. Donald and Dr. Hooper stared at us as if we were homeless people who popped in looking for a cot. I raised my eyebrows, which actually hurt, grimaced, and shrugged at them, which hurt even more. “Chair,” I gasped.

  “Oh, right.”

  Pfannie pushed one close enough and I let gravity take over. I put my head in my hands.

  “That looks awful,” Pfannie told me.

  “That scrape or my face?” I muttered.

  “Should I get you some ice?”

  I shook my head. “That was his errand?”

  Pfannie gazed wide-eyed at the window. “Errand?”

  “You said Rolf told you he was stepping out and would be back.”

  She eyed me with uncertainty. “But he didn’t say he was going to rob a store.”

  I blinked and frowned. “Why would you expect him to do that? Anyway, do you think he knows what happened to Almanzo’s car and Adelaide?”

  Someone opened the window. Pfannie and I turned to listen. I shivered again, glad I was still wearing Adam’s coat.

  “Stay where you are,” Gonzalez yelled to someone, loud enough for all of us to hear inside.

  “Somebody stole Adelaide.” Pfannie’s shiver matched mine. “All that blood. They probably killed her, and I’ll never know why. She was so beautiful. Such a loving friend. Fiends!
This world is full of fiends!”

  “There wasn’t that much blood,” I said. “Say, do you happen to have anything to eat?”

  “Who can think of food at a time like this?” She stared at me and must have sympathized with my pathetic appearance. She checked the pockets of her white fur jacket and came up with two mints from the nice restaurant downtown and a piece of gum. I took the mints.

  “All right, you there, behind the vehicle,” Gonzalez’s voice floated in. “Lay face down with your hands behind your head.”

  “Was she talking to Rolf?” Pfannie said. “Yuck. The street is dirty and has a lot of slushy spots. He’ll need to send his clothes to the drycleaners.”

  “I don’t know,” I said. “I can’t see. But Rolf was in the car, not behind it. She was probably talking to that other guy.”

  “Oh, yeah. What do you think he was doing with a bag from the jewelers?” Pfannie asked.

  “No idea.” My voice came out gummy from sucking on the mints.

  “It looks bad,” Pfannie said. “The car…the plates…the bag.”

  “What thief would stop to put stolen jewelry in a bag?”

  Pfannie had to think about that one.

  “What’s going on now?” I called.

  “They cuffed the other guy. One of the officers is wiping off Rolf’s license plate,” Almanzo said.

  “One of the police officers is talking to Rolf,” Dr. Hooper said. He turned to us.

  I was glad I didn’t know what I looked like, as he did a double-take at the sight of me and quickly approached.

  “Oh, my. What happened here? Ginger! Ginger! Bring ice and gauze!”

  His shout near my ear made me cringe. “It’s probably not nearly as bad as it looks.”

  Pfannie tch’d.

  “Gonzalez grabbed the Gleason bag!” Almanzo shouted. “Wonder what’s in it?” He waggled his eyebrows suggestively in our direction—Pfannie’s and mine.

  Adam closed the window and came over to us. “It looks like the police made an arrest.”

  “Not Rolf?” I said.

  “No. The other man.”

  “Do you think…” Before I finished my thought, Ginger came skittering from the hall, skidding to a stop near her father. She exhibited a curious expression as she handed over the supplies.

  Adam knelt next to me and pushed aside my hair. “I should have done this right away. It didn’t look so…so…raw when we were outside.”

  “In the dark,” I added. “No worries. My headache is better since I had the mints.”

  “Mints?”

  “I gave her mints,” Pfannie said. “She said she wanted food.”

  “You didn’t get anything to eat?” Adam eyed Almanzo. “It seems your boyfriend is not very attentive either.”

  “What? My…” I slid my eyes toward Almanzo who was chuckling at the events going on outside, apparently having forgotten his towed, vandalized truck. Not to mention probable charges of reporting a fake cat-napping which he abetted. Or aided. I thought about the things Adam had said tonight about boyfriends. And thought some more. And grew prickly with realization. Oh. My. I narrowed my eyes at Almanzo. Adam? Adam thought for whatever insane reason my boyfriend was…gulp…Almanzo?

  I must have hit my head harder than I realized. How could Adam think Almanzo was my…ick.

  “Adam, there’s something we have to discuss.”

  His solemn eyebrow raise made to stop to reconsider my accusation, which sounded seriously childish the more I thought about it.

  I was distracted when Pfannie joined her nephew at the window. She jumped up and down in short little hops.

  “They’re coming! They’re coming!”

  Some people never grew up.

  Dr. Hooper handed me an ice pack and nudged Adam out of the way to dab my scraped face with ointment on a piece of gauze.

  The outer door opened.

  “Oh, Rolf!” Pfannie made a running dive toward him. I half-expected her to do a cartwheel on the way.

  Isis and Memnet took that moment to end their temporary truce. They tangled around each other on the floor, foot-clawing, biting, and hissing through their deep-voiced chortles.

  Adam went to separate them.

  Maybe he hadn’t enjoyed rescuing me. Maybe he’d had enough of our cats’ disagreements and decided I wasn’t worth fighting Almanzo for.

  I clutched his jacket around my shoulders.

  “There, now.” Dr. Hooper stepped back. “The antibiotic contains an analgesic. I use it after surgical procedures on my patients, but it should work quite well on your cheek. It doesn’t hurt too much anymore, does it?”

  Tears continued to gather in the corners of my eyes while I shook my head. “Thank you, Doctor. I’m much better. I’m just tired, that’s all.”

  He studied me, one elbow cupped in his palm.

  The police trooped in after Rolf but neither the doctor nor I paid them heed.

  “Do you have arrangements for a ride home, young lady?” the doctor asked. “How far are you going?”

  When I said “back up to Maplewood,” he shook his head.

  I scrambled to my feet before he said anything else. What was I supposed to do? No way was I getting a hotel room. My meager budget equated the hotel cost with two weeks’ groceries. I swung Adam’s jacket away. Donald approached, finally, with Memnet in his arms. We traded cat for coat, and I wiped my tearlets on Mem’s fur. He stuck his nose in my ear and then licked the ointment on my face while I gathered my composure.

  One thing I loved about Donald was his calming and peaceful compassion. He’d meant it about praying over the situation when Pfannie started all this commotion.

  I hugged Mem and breathed deeply, determined not to show Donald how upset I was over something as silly as miscommunication between me and Adam. “Thanks, Donald. I hope Memnet behaved himself before this last little ruckus.”

  The corners of Donald’s eyes crinkled. “He did.” Donald trained his eyes on my face and the stiff way I held Memnet. “You were almost run over tonight. Adam didn’t hesitate for a second.”

  “I wish…” Sorrow clogged my throat and I swallowed. “I wish Memnet and Isis could figure out their problems.”

  Donald patted my not sore shoulder.

  “Do you know what happened?” I indicated the huddle of law enforcement employees, including Pfannie, Almanzo, and Dr. Hooper.

  Rolf had one arm wrapped around Pfannie’s waist. He waved his other hand, swathed in bandages.

  “Let’s go find out.” Donald handed Adam’s jacket back to him and I tossed a mumbled thanks as we sauntered near.

  “Eight stitches,” Rolf said, waving the gauzed hand.

  “Oh, Ivy.” Pfannie made that annoying titter of a giggle. “Rolf was a hero! Someone was trying to break into Almanzo’s truck and smashed the window!” She butterfly-kissed Rolf, who pinked up. “Rolf stopped him.”

  “They were after my radar detector, I bet,” Almanzo said. “It’s the latest model. It’s got this…” His exuberance withered at the recriminating silence of his audience. “Uh…came with the truck.”

  “Don’t you have an alarm on your car?” Pfannie asked. “I do.”

  Almanzo folded his arms and kicked the toe of his boot against the floor. “Well, shoot. Yeah, I do. It’s just not hooked up.”

  Davidson took the bait. “Why not?”

  “Do you know how much those services charge?” Almanzo spluttered. “Robbery! They’re all…crooks.” He faded again as his luckless word choice hit him.

  Fortunately this time his complaints caused general chuckles. He grinned too after a few beats, as if unsure what caused the mirth.

  “I missed the part about the stitches,” I said. “How’d that happen?”

  “He saved Adelaide!” Pfannie clutched Rolf’s arm.

  Rolf stared sickeningly, adoringly, into Pfannie’s eyes. “Well, see, I was just coming back from my little errand, and this kid had a baseball bat and this huge German
shepherd…”

  It sounded like the start of a good joke, but he went on to tell how the would-be thief encouraged the dog to bark at the same time he swung the bat, partially masking the sound of breaking glass. Rolf planned to call in the crime when the kid ran, and got out his phone.

  “But I didn’t expect to see little Miss Adelaide in the truck, distressed at the bat hitting the glass and probably cold.” Rolf chucked Pfannie under her chin. “I figured Pfannie here thought the kitty would be more comfortable away from all the hullabaloo and gave her a time out across the street where she could keep an eye on the little thing.”

  Pfannie ducked her head like that had been the only thought at the time rolling around in her skull. I wondered if she would ever admit the truth about the fake catnapping to Rolf, and hoped she would. But it wasn’t my business.

  Gonzalez pursed her lips and studied the tips of her sturdy black work shoes. Davidson started coughing. Rolf and Pfannie stared into each other’s eyes.

  Adam and I exchanged a glance. Was he softening toward me?

  I held the ice pack to my head before it melted all away. What, exactly, did I have to be upset about? I’d lost nothing tonight but a little skin. Maybe some dignity. I still had my friends who counted, Donald and Memnet and Tut, and I was moving away from Adam who thought I was dating…yuck.

  The three girls sneaked into the room and were hanging back, watching the excitement—if you could call it that. Abby, the middle girl, had some small animal in her lap, maybe a guinea pig, I wasn’t sure. Pretty brave of her to chance a lapful of droppings.

  “And since it was locked up,” Rolf was saying, “I had no choice but to reach in. Fortunately Miss Adelaide knew me and wanted out, maybe not in that order…” More laughter. “So she was reaching her little paw up to the jagged edges of glass…”

  I felt the shudder circulating through our group. Rolf could be a great storyteller if the patrol thing ever went dry.

  “And that’s how I got cut. I think she lost a little fur, too…”

  “She did,” Pfannie said, “but that’s all right. Your poor, poor hand.”

  “It was bleeding so much and I thought there was glass in there, so after I took Adelaide home I thought I better stop at the emergency room. That’s what took so long. I’m sorry, baby. I’m didn’t mean to make you worry.” They rubbed noses and cooed.