Digging Deep

by Jay Hogan

  DRIVING HOME, he chattered nonstop about the show, hands waving around as he described different scenes and the actors he especially liked. It was all I could do not to laugh out loud. It was beyond adorable. In truth, the show wasn’t half bad. I’m not saying I was an instant convert, but it was better than I expected, although I think it was more entertaining watching Drake’s reaction than whatever was happening onstage. He was rapt from the minute the curtain went up, attention glued to the stage, laughing and singing along with the show and its performers, and I was… simply entranced.

  I couldn’t keep my eyes from his face, enjoying that slightly dreamy look he wore, so different from the buttoned-up, spiky young man I’d first met. At one point he snuggled in close and lifted his lips to my ear to whisper, “Stop looking at me.”

  I’d turned my lips to his and given him a quick kiss. “No. You’re the most gorgeous thing in this theatre.”

  He stared at me for a long moment, then smiled shyly and turned back to watch the show. But from that point on he stayed glued to my side. Mission accomplished.

  At some point in the first act, I reached for his hand, not sure of his response, it being our first time out in public as a couple. I knew he was out and proud but exactly how out and proud we’d never discussed.

  In answer, he threaded his fingers through mine, and that’s where they stayed for the remainder of the show barring an ice cream and bathroom run at intermission, and an additional two trips to the bathroom either side. But each time he returned to his seat, he slid his hand back in mine, and something inside my chest flickered with warmth and… goddammit, I was turning into a sappy idiot. Even worse, I was turning into Carmen. For fuck’s sake, kill me now. But I didn’t move.

  I turned the Mustang into Drake’s driveway but left it idling, not sure if I’d be getting an invite inside. He turned to me and leaned in. I met him halfway, our lips joining in a soft kiss.

  “I had a nice time tonight,” I said, meaning every bit of it. As long as I was with him, I wasn’t sure it was possible for me not to have a good time.

  “I’m glad.” He cradled my cheek and drew me close, pressing our lips together with more intent this time. His tongue licked its way into my mouth and took possession while his free hand snaked under my shirt and ran lightly over my abs around to my back. A full body shiver passed through me as his fingers dipped under my waistband to the top of my crease and sat there tracing small circles on my burning skin. I groaned and leaned farther across, desperate for more. I wanted his hands all over me, I wanted skin to skin with nothing between us, I wanted….

  “J-Jesus, Drake,” I stammered against his lips. “I’m gonna fucking blow in my shorts if you keep that up.” His fingers slipped free of my trousers and cupped my package instead. “Not exactly helping there either,” I added in a strangled voice, resting my forehead on his shoulder and arching into his hand. He held me firmly and drew a few long strokes that had me on the devil’s edge in seconds.

  “You wanna take this inside, gorgeous?” he whispered into my ear, his tongue darting over the soft lobe and managing to entirely fuck up my rational world.

  “Is that a trick question?” I lifted my head and found nothing but heat and want in those gorgeous brown eyes.

  His hand stilled as if he couldn’t manage the two things at the same time.

  I leaned in to nibble at his lower lip while running my fingers up his warm thigh. He trembled and his head fell back, lips parted. I whispered into his open mouth, “’Cause in what universe would there ever be more than one answer to that?”

  I kissed down his throat until my hand reached his swollen dick and cupped it through his tight-arse jeans, giving a firm squeeze. “Right now, Drake Park, I want to see you naked and feel all that magnificent creamy skin hard up against me more than I want to fucking breathe.” I began to draw down the zipper to emphasise my point when his phone buzzed. Son of a bitch.

  He wrested my hand from his zipper as he fought to get his phone from the pocket of those ridiculous jeans.

  I raised a brow. “Need a hand?”

  He glared in reply as he finally freed the phone and put it to his ear.

  “Prim?” He mouthed the word “client” to me. “Oh, Kevin. Didn’t realise you were home. How’s our girl?”

  One of his clients. The downside of dating a midwife appeared little different than a detective. I leaned toward him, finding a finger shoved in my face to keep me silent. As if I would say anything. I mimed zipping my mouth and he grinned. But touching? Never promised anything about that. I ran a finger up his inner thigh, and he batted it away. I smiled and ran my tongue over my lips. He zeroed in like a hawk.

  “Sorry, I missed that last bit,” he apologised, and flared his eyes at me pointedly. “When did you say it happened?”

  I blew him a kiss, drew circles around his cock through his jeans, and received a scowl in return.

  “Okay, so that’s pretty normal,” he said, sticking his tongue out at me. “Probably just a bit of indigestion as she said. I wouldn’t worry right now but keep an eye on her and call me with anything else.”

  Not an emergency, then. Thank Christ. Finally, a break. I lowered my head into his lap and mouthed at his groin. He finger-flicked my head, but then instead of pushing me away, those same fingers fisted in my hair, and he arched up with a barely audible groan.

  “What,” his voice stuttered into the phone. “No, I’m fine. I’ve just got home, that’s all.” He pushed me off and held me in place with his hand on my chest and a dagger stare.

  I waggled my eyebrows at him, and those brows dipped farther. I was in so much trouble.

  “I’ll keep my phone with me all night, so feel free to call, and if I don’t hear from you, I’ll check in the morning. Okay? Great. Night, Kevin.”

  He slid the phone back into his pocket and then spun and propelled me into my side of the car with more force than I felt was entirely warranted. He then eyeballed me with blown pupils and jabbed a finger my way. “You, mister, need to get the fuck out of this car and into my damn bed before I embarrass myself, Caleb Ashton. Are we clear?”

  I bit my lower lip and held his gaze. Toppy Drake was hot as hell. “Crystal,” I answered.

  He licked his lips but didn’t move, his gaze laying me naked as surely as if my clothes were already a heap on the floor. Both of us starkers was a box we’d yet to tick, and it was long overdue.

  “Good,” he huffed. “That’s good. Right. Get inside.” He blew out a slow breath, popped his door, and headed to the front door, adjusting himself on the way with my eyes glued to his arse every inch. At the step he turned back and threw his arms wide in a what-the-fuck gesture before crooking his finger at me.

  Huh? Oh, right. I threw open my door, locked the car down, and ran up the path. He shook his head and held the front door open for me, slapping my arse as I passed. “Exactly what part of inside now wasn’t clear to you?”

  I’d barely gotten my shoes off when he pressed me against the wall and grabbed my dick through my jeans, none too gently. He nipped and sucked at my throat, hard enough to leave a mark, and I couldn’t wait. The very idea went straight to my balls, which were suffering compartment syndrome as it was, and… holy shit… bossy Drake was a force to be reckoned with.

  I wasn’t usually into the whole dominant, throwing around shit that some guys liked, maybe because more often than not, it was left to me to take point in bed and I never wanted to overstep the mark. But this? Being pushed around by this firecracker of a man was a whole new ballgame, and I fucking loved it.

  How long he had me pinned up against that wall, I had no idea. Long enough to lose my shirt and for my nipples to sustain a fair bit of delicious tongue and teeth action. Long enough for my dick to drip right through my briefs and the front of my jeans and leave a sizeable wet patch. And long enough for Drake to get those suckers down around my thighs and wrap those long slender fingers around my shaft and to finally, finally get so
me skin on skin, but it wasn’t enough. Not even close.

  He stepped back, panting, but with my dick still in his hand, which had me grinning like a fool. “There’s something wrong with this picture.” I tugged at his shirt. The man was still fully dressed while I… wasn’t, apparently. “Not that I don’t find it incredibly hot to be half-naked in front of you….”

  “You should see it from my point of view.” He palmed himself with his free hand. “You’re so damn sexy, Caleb. I wanna haul you in there and shove you over the back of my couch so I can just fucking bury myself in you.”

  Holy shit. My dick jumped in his hand, and he grinned salaciously. “Someone thinks that’s a good idea.” He ran his thumb over the head and dipped into the slit, and if I wasn’t six seconds from meltdown before, I sure as hell was now.

  He smirked at my reaction. “But I take your point. Tell you what, give me five to sort some stuff out while you find my bedroom, get naked, and be on my bed before I get there. And take this.” He handed me his phone. “In case Kevin calls again.”

  “Expecting problems?”

  “Nah, but she tends to go off early, so, just in case.”

  I snorted. “Something I don’t have a reputation for… going off early,” I smart-mouthed. “But with you I think all bets are off.”

  He hesitated and that sexy-as-shit bossy attitude faltered just a little, revealing a glimpse of something very different underneath. “Um, I can’t say… I mean… I’m not sure what I’ll be able to….”

  I kissed him to shut him up, reeling a little from the whole flip between take-charge Drake and nervous Drake. “It’s your show, beautiful. I’m just fucking honoured to be along for the ride. Anything you want, anyway you want it, I guarantee I’ll love whatever you decide. Do whatever the fuck you want with me. Understand?”

  His nostrils flared and he pulled me in for a bruising kiss. “Be careful what you ask for, handsome.”

  I returned the kiss, adding a gratuitous grope for good measure, but if I didn’t get to touch some of that damn skin of his soon, I was gonna explode. “I always am. And I meant every word.”

  Chapter Ten

  Drake

  I LEANED on the counter and took a few deep breaths in an attempt to calm the fuck down. Holy crap, things between us had gone nuclear in three seconds flat. In all honesty I hadn’t intended to ask Caleb inside tonight―it was still too soon for lots of reasons―but one taste of him and I was gone. I wanted him, that was a no-brainer, but what the hell I was exactly going to do with him in my bedroom tonight was the six-million-dollar question.

  The bathroom mirror mocked my rambling hesitancy, those blown pupils and flushed cheeks scorned the notion that there was any damn decision to make, and on one level there wasn’t. That Caleb Ashton had me desperate to get down and dirty with him wasn’t in question. The man turned me on like a damn faucet. But it wasn’t that simple. Sex was never that fucking simple for me. Hah! Didn’t I wish?

  I knew what I wanted, what my body craved, what that off-kilter, growling countenance meant. Not to mention my dick yapping away in my trousers. And my health was pretty good at the moment. I’d bounced back from the slight hiccup after the arrest and was better than I’d been in a long time. Therein lay the dilemma.

  It was rare I felt good enough to bottom, but tonight, yeah, tonight I did. Still, it was a big step on the relationship staircase for me, and I hadn’t intended to take it this early. I ran my fingertips down my cheek and across my lips. The man’s taste was addictive. I could have him if I wanted. Goddammit. I rarely got these windows of opportunity, and if I gave this one away, who knew when I’d get another chance.

  We didn’t know each other well enough yet. Caleb was saying all the right things, but what if he really did prefer to top, like Jared? Who knew how long I’d stay good enough to offer myself to him in that way? What if it became a deal-breaker? No, Caleb knew the score, he knew from the start I might not be able to do that, and he still wanted me. But Jared had known too. Shit.

  For some people with Crohn’s, anal penetration was never on the menu. For me that wasn’t the case, and there were times when it was fine… like now, and fuck if I didn’t want to feel the stretch and burn of Caleb inside me. I wanted it so badly, but the timing? Goddammit. It was just too soon for my heart.

  That kiss in the car? Holy hell. My whole body had reacted with a hunger I hadn’t felt in over a year, and there was no denying the specifics of exactly what that hunger entailed. I loved to bottom. Fucking loved it. Sure I could top, and I was never ever gonna complain about being buried balls-deep in a guy, but there was something about bottoming for the right guy that just floated my boat big time. It was so intimate, opening yourself up like that. And for me, the orgasm was more intense, a whole-body experience that I felt to my core, and I couldn’t get enough. It was one of the things I grieved most about, this damn disease.

  It had been years since I’d had any guy inside me, not since Jared. I couldn’t do random shit even if I was well enough. It wasn’t just a trust thing―it was the genuine risk to my health. It had to be worth it. Aside from any active disease down there making me more vulnerable to STDs, penetration of any kind could easily result in a tear or irritation that could cascade into a flare-up and downward spiral.

  I had internal scars that meant I needed time to stretch up well beforehand. My gut clenched. What if Caleb liked it rough? Because that shit there was completely off the cards. Fucking me through the mattress was never gonna happen, ever. This is what I hated. Way to start with a guy, a whole list of do-nots and be-careful and just-in-cases. Like needing a towel under us… just in case… fuck.

  Ugh. I banged my forehead against the mirror. I knew this whole thing was a bad idea. This was exactly why I didn’t do this shit. I needed to suck it up, go in that bedroom, apologise to the poor guy, and shut this whole fucking mess down right now. What the hell had I been thinking?

  I ran the cold tap and splashed water on my face, trying to ignore the well of tears. I was so damn tired of fitting my whole life into some Crohn’s-shaped box. Just thirty years old and already an enthusiastic sex life―hell any sex life―was like some distant fond memory. And, holy crap, somebody better pull out the damn violins, I was getting maudlin.

  “Are you okay in here?” Caleb’s head poked around the door.

  Fuck. I must have been in here longer than I thought. “Yeah, fine.” I grabbed a towel and dabbed at my wet face, but he wasn’t fooled. Two seconds later he was up close and personal, arms sliding around my waist, his body pressed up against my back.

  “You’re naked,” I commented drily. Never say I wasn’t observant.

  He nuzzled at my neck. “I follow instructions well. But it was getting lonely in there. Wanna tell me what’s going on?”

  He looked up, and our eyes met in the mirror. “Not really.”

  He kissed my cheek. “So you’re just holed up in here for no reason while a naked horny man waits in your bed.”

  He tilted his hips into my crease and… hello… someone was happy to see me. My soft cock twitched back into life. The man was a dangerous addiction and I needed to stop this nonsense now before things got out of hand.

  Instead I said, “Anticipation is sorely underrated.” Yeah, I had that whole getting-rid-of-him thing down pat. I was such a hard-arse.

  He nuzzled my shoulder and my head dropped back on his chest at the delicious sensation. I may have even hummed. No, no I didn’t. There was no humming involved because that would be counterproductive to that shutting-the-whole-mess-down thing I was supposed to be doing, right? Ugh. I was so fucked. Or currently not, as the case may be.

  “You having some kind of crisis of intent?” he asked between nibbles, still rocking his hips into me, the feel of his dick driving me fucking insane. “Second thoughts maybe?”

  “Maybe.” His lips made their way up my neck and his tongue flicked in my ear. A shiver ran up my spine. “You should stop that.” My
head angled to open my neck up for further investigation.

  “I should,” he whispered, nipping at my lobe. “And yet here I am.” His hands slid down to cup my junk, which was busy straining the zip of my jeans. “Can I ask you something?”

  No, don’t wake me from this. “Mmm. If you must. Just don’t move that hand.” He squeezed, and I pushed back into him.

  A hum slid over the skin of my neck. “You’ve been in here a while. Why are you still dressed? Unless it’s to let me strip you of every scrap of clothing one piece at a time as I lick my way down that gorgeous body.”

  Holy fuck. He added another squeeze, and I didn’t know whether I wanted to thrust forward into his hand or back onto his dick. Every nerve fibre in my body was vibrating on high alert. “Fuck, Caleb. You’re killing me here.”

  “Not my intent, believe me.” He stepped back, leaving a cold draught to bite at my back. Then he turned me around and cradled my face. “Are you gonna tell me what’s going on in that pretty little head of yours?”

  “Do I have to?” I stepped in, turned my cheek against his chest, and his arms immediately wrapped around me.

  “We don’t have to do anything, you know that, right?” His nose burrowed into my hair, something I noticed he did on a regular basis.

  I nodded. “You must think I’m crazy, seeing as how I’m the one who dragged you in here virtually gagging for more of you—”

  “Stop.” He pulled me flush against him.

  And, oh… I’d forgotten the man was naked and… aroused… and yeah… did I mention, naked? His hard dick pressed against my stomach like the silent invitation it was, and didn’t every bone in my body want to RSVP hell yeah immediately.

  “You and me,” he said, unaware of how his nether regions were currently fucking with me or… maybe not so unaware. Bastard. “We can do this however we want, understand? There’s no timetable, Drake. Hell, if all you want to do is make out and snuggle on your bed for a bit, I’m fucking all over that idea.”