Room to Breathe

by Liz Talley

  “You brush a dog’s teeth?” the little girl asked, her eyes popping.

  “I try to. Dogs aren’t always as agreeable as little girls.” Daphne thought about the few times she’d chased Jonas down and tried to use the finger dog brush and meat-flavored toothpaste. Her trusty hound had been insulted and shook his head so hard that Daphne had to pick the disgusting-smelling toothpaste out of her hair. Jonas wasn’t a fan no matter what the paste tasted like, and honestly, Daphne had feared he’d bite her finger. “I suppose I should be on my way. It’s my little girl’s birthday this weekend, and I have a party to oversee.”

  “You have a little girl, too?” Poppy asked.

  “Well, she’s not so little anymore,” Daphne said.

  Evan tucked Poppy against his side, curving an arm around her to pin her in place. The child’s feet were already twisting. “If you need help with anything, let Caroline know.” He nodded toward the young woman at the desk.

  “It was so good to meet you and your daughter.”

  “Well, we’ve been waiting to meet you in person. I’ll pull away from things later this evening and catch up with you,” he said, bestowing a big smile on her.

  Daphne wondered if the man was always so familiar with his guests but decided that his personality was one that spilled over onto the people around him. Ellery could be that way. Rex damn well made sure his personality assaulted those around him. Evan wasn’t like that, per se, but he certainly treated her like an old friend rather than someone he’d only just met. “That would be lovely. Bye, Poppy. Have a good day.”

  “I’m out of school. It’s fall break,” she said, her eyes shining brightly with the joy only a day of no school could bring.

  “Well, have fun. I’ll probably see you around, and maybe we could read some books together.”

  “Yes!” the child said, hopping and punching the air with her fist.

  “Now you’ve done it,” Evan said as she pulled her keycard out of her pocket.

  “See y’all later,” Daphne said, giving the child a happy wave and then lifting her gaze and catching the eye of her father. The expression on his face reflected warmth and familiarity. An odd prickling of something—warning, maybe?—skittered up her spine. His demeanor seemed incongruous with how a host might treat a guest. It was as if he knew her, but she was nearly certain she’d never met him before. She’d done a lot of book signings in the area, but she would have remembered a tall, handsome Texan and a chatty redheaded child.

  She wondered if he was married.

  Just as she had this thought, she passed the bar, which looked to have just opened, and saw Clay sitting there, chatting with the bartender. He nursed a Bloody Mary and looked morose. Daphne had a sneaking suspicion Clay wouldn’t do as she asked.

  This weekend was going to be more difficult than she’d expected, because the only two men she’d slept with in her life had become unexpected guests.

  Daphne couldn’t catch a break.

  CHAPTER TEN

  Dear Evan,

  Sorry I haven’t been in touch. Things have been busy around here with the renovation, and I have been working from home. I loved your analogy about the wine. So true that the bad times in life can make the good times sweeter. Thanks for sharing that with me. Good news—I’m taking Ellery on a little birthday-surprise weekend. She’s been so down, I think it will be good for both of us to get away from the dust, noise, and reality. Yeah, I know what you’re thinking after our last discussion, but escaping reality is a must sometimes, right? I should have an answer for you regarding the date in a few weeks. Pencil me in. If I don’t have any unseen obligations with my publisher or the studio, I will be there. I look forward to seeing you soon.

  Best,

  Dee Dee

  Ellery stared at the email she’d sent Evan last night and tried not to panic at the thought of sitting on the couch of Vine House at One Tree Estates. She could still hear the echo of her best friend’s voice as they exited the interstate outside Tyler, Texas.

  Surprise, Elle! We’re doing your birthday weekend at your favorite vineyard! Happy birthday!

  Any other time, she’d have been ecstatic that her friends had come up with such a cool birthday weekend. But since the owner of the place was her secret obsession, she was less than thrilled. More like panicked that Evan and her mother would find out she’d been masquerading as a stalker.

  No, remember, you’re not a stalker.

  Pretending to be the talented, pretty Miss Dee Dee O’Hara and maintaining a friendship, albeit a flirty and somewhat intimate one, wasn’t stalking. It was . . . something that she’d obviously convinced herself she needed because her fiancé was . . . something.

  God, why couldn’t she figure out why she was doing what she was doing? Why couldn’t she sort through her emotions as easily as she sorted through what would be on trend for the upcoming spring season? Her once-perfect life was so smudged around the edges that there were no lines left.

  Every time she thought about Josh and the way she no longer seemed to matter to him, jagged pain split her heart into two halves. She didn’t know what to do, but she’d decided this weekend she would do her best to reel him back to her. When her mother had mentioned that a weekend away was a go, she’d convinced Josh to leave the books, the study group, and the stress behind for just one night. She’d bought a leather bustier and stockings, ordered a few sex toys to try from a discreet online company, and gotten a Brazilian wax. This weekend he was going to notice her if she had to park her ass in his lap and . . . okay, not make him have sex with her, but make it really hard not to.

  But that was before, when she thought they were getting rooms at a swanky hotel in Dallas. She had been almost certain her mother and friends would arrange a shopping weekend and spa treatments.

  Nope.

  Lord, what had she gotten herself into? Why had she ever started flirting with Evan . . . building a secret relationship with him? Her house of cards faced a tsunami.

  “Elle, check this out. It’s stocked with a bottle of every type of wine they grow here,” Madison said, opening the wine fridge. “Birthday perks, birthday girl. So which one should we open?”

  “Mads, technically my birthday is tomorrow.” She now felt silly for wanting everyone to make a fuss over her birthday. She should have insisted on the simple dinner her mother first suggested. But she knew why she’d let them plan this celebration. Because deep down under all the “I’m totally an adult” facade, she wanted the cake, balloons, and epicness. Because a nice dinner out had sounded too much like what everyone else did. Like it wasn’t special enough.

  Ellery didn’t want to admit that her life had become ordinary. Ellery had graduated from being on the homecoming court to being a basic bitch. She might as well drink pumpkin spice lattes, carry Michael Kors, and wear yoga pants to the grocery store. Totally basic.

  And she didn’t want to be that woman. If she were going to have the fabulous life she’d wanted for herself in NYC, she had to be interesting enough to be in the spotlight. And if she and Josh were going to make it, she had to be more interesting than his books and cadaver.

  Her biggest fear was that she was neither. That she had already peaked, and everything was downhill from hereafter.

  “Uh, you get to celebrate the whole month if you want to,” Madison drawled before grinning, causing her two precious dimples to come out to play. Her friend’s blonde hair spilled over her shoulders, and her mossy-green eyes surrounded by sooty, long lashes inspired jealousy in other girls. Madison Cunningham had been Ellery’s BFF ever since they’d both worn the same Supergirl costume to kindergarten on Halloween. Rather than see the other as competition, like Mia Dinkins and Claire Toby, her other close friends who had both dressed as Tinkerbell, Mads and Elle had declared themselves soul mates . . . and still had the connection that going to two different colleges, pledging two different sororities, and crushing on the same hot celebrities couldn’t break.

  “That’
s right. We’re making up for lost time,” Claire said, selecting a plump strawberry from the fruit plate Ellery’s mother had set out. Her mom had decorated the rented house on the edge of the vineyard with fresh flowers, pink balloons, and a cute birthday sign that hung from the two light fixtures. The island bar was covered with party poppers and confetti. No doubt her mother had a vacuum in her car ready to tackle the rental after Ellery and her friends departed. This was the kind of mother hers was—always prepared, committed to making everything perfect, and never leaving a mess.

  Problem was, her mother couldn’t fix the downhill slide Ellery felt she was on. So while she felt grateful to her mother for always picking her up, she also resented that while she was plummeting toward an uncertain future, her mother was on a meteoric trajectory toward fame. This small, petty part of herself she hated, but she couldn’t seem to make it go away. The only thing she’d felt good about was being engaged to Josh, and now that part of her plan was in jeopardy.

  There were times she wondered if Josh had proposed just to get her to shut up about their future . . . or as a consolation for her getting smacked down by J.J. Krause. The glow of wearing that diamond had faded, and often she felt like she was merely another piece of business he needed to complete so he could get the dream he wanted with a woman whose plan coincided with his own. Dr. Josh Prince, plastic surgeon, upstanding husband, doting father, and rich as shit.

  But that wasn’t true. They were more than just a plan. They were in love.

  Or had been.

  “Elle? Wine?” Madison asked again, jarring her out of her too-difficult thoughts.

  “Huh? Oh, yeah, let’s crack open a white.” ’Cause I’m going to need it. Maybe two bottles before the cocktail hour.

  Madison smiled and looked so pretty it made Ellery wish she hadn’t done the microdermabrasion on her cheeks and chin. Both were now red and splotchy, even though her face felt remarkably smooth. She just needed an hour or two more for her skin to calm down.

  “Gotcha,” Madison said, rooting in the drawers for a wine opener. Claire continued munching on the fruit, snagging a cookie that her delicate frame could well afford. Claire had short, dark hair, a lithe runner’s body, and a weakness for watching Gossip Girl, Mean Girls, Gilmore Girls, or any kind of show with girls, pretty, or gossip in the title. Claire was studying to take the CPA exam while working for a firm in Baton Rouge. Gentle Madison was working in the pediatric intensive care unit at a hospital in Monroe. Both were already ten times more successful than Ellery, not that either would say anything about Ellery failing to net the internship she’d crowed about all last year. They’d heard about her failure months ago, offered encouragement, and then promptly gone about their own business. Ellery was the one who had to live with the choices she’d made. Or choice. She should have listened to her adviser and applied for more than one internship.

  She’d just been so certain that the position would be hers.

  “I wish Mia could have come today, but at least she’ll make it tonight,” Claire said, swiping crumbs off the granite. While Madison and Claire had elected to go to LSU for college, Mia had gone with Ellery to the University of Georgia, where she’d stayed to do law school. Still, the four girls had stayed very close, going on spring break together every year, texting each other at least once a day, and spending the holidays shopping, vegging while watching CSI, and sipping apple-pie moonshine before going out to their favorite haunts in Shreveport.

  Ellery accepted the wine Madison handed her. “Josh is coming, right? You made sure? Because he’s become very slippery here lately.”

  “Yep, and he is part of Mia’s job. She’s grabbing him on the way over, and she’s vowed to stand over him until he gets in the car. They’ll be here in time for dinner. JB, Thomas, Matt, and Wade are coming, too. Oh, and we invited a few people from high school for the party tomorrow night, along with your work friends Rachel and Fiona. But it’s no more than, like, fifteen or twenty people.” Claire grabbed a glass and poured herself a hefty portion of the white wine.

  Ellery didn’t want a ton of people coming. Why would her friends invite a bunch of people? Of course, a bigger group would keep her plenty busy, which meant she might not even run into Evan. Or the sneering, sexy bartender who’d popped into her mind more than she wished. Gage. His name seemed prophetic, like he could see inside her and tell her where she was in her life. Yeah, she knew they were spelled differently, and she’d only met him that once, but still he’d unnerved her with the way he could see her, and not the good part of herself she always presented to everyone else. The part she was ashamed of. The part she tried to hide. “I hope they don’t show. I like it low key.”

  “When have you ever wanted fewer than, like, fifty people to come to your parties?” Madison drawled.

  “Um, like, tomorrow when I turn twenty-three.” Ellery took a sip of wine that was cold and sharp on her tongue. The finish was mellow and golden. “Sorry. Things just feel so real. I mean, we have jobs and bills and—”

  “Jell-O shots,” Claire interrupted, pulling a box of cherry Jell-O from the depths of a grocery bag along with a bottle of vodka.

  “You didn’t,” Ellery said. Claire loved to make Jell-O shots . . . or any shots, for that matter. Last Christmas they’d stayed half-drunk the entire holiday on something with RumChata and Fireball.

  “Um, yeah, I did. It’s a party, and it’s been, like, forever since we hung out. It’s a miracle the stars lined up and we all got off work. Especially since it was short notice, so we’re going to make like college freshmen and forget about time clocks and performance reports . . . and do shots,” Claire said, looking over at Madison. Mads raised her glass.

  Ellery immediately felt like a shit for not being in the spirit. Claire was right. It had been a long time since they had all been together, and they had done this for her. “Okay, bring it.”

  “There’s the Ellery we know and love,” Claire said, opening the doors of the cabinets. “I’m going to whip these up, then shower. Your mother said cocktail hour is at five, and I still have one thing I have to do online before I totally surrender myself to booze and bitches.”

  “I’m going to take a nap. That shift switch to get off for the weekend is kicking my ass,” Madison said, moving toward the bedroom she was sharing with Claire.

  Ellery needed to get pretty before they headed to the distillery and the cocktail bar housed within, but she felt angsty. Like she needed some time to herself. “I think I’ll take a walk and enjoy the foliage. Just breathe some of this nice cool air.”

  “Don’t get lost,” Madison said, pointing a finger toward her, her mouth curving with amusement.

  Ellery had once gotten lost on a Girl Scout outing. The troop leaders were about to call the police when Ellery wandered back into camp, scratched by brambles and tear streaked from her four-hour-long ordeal. To her credit, she’d been ten, and she’d just watched Friday the 13th at a friend’s house, so she was freaked out and a bit overly dramatic about getting lost. She never went camping again. “I won’t. And if I see a guy in a hockey mask, you’ll hear me. I’ve been practicing that scream since I saw that dumb movie.”

  Ellery hurried to the master bedroom she’d share with Josh that night. The big four-poster bed dominated the tastefully decorated room and held her suitcase. After donning running shorts, a jacket, and her trusty Brooks trainers, Ellery slipped out the french doors onto the private patio attached to her bedroom and moved around to the front.

  The rental house at One Tree Estates was called Vine House and was built of stone and wood, evoking a European chalet. Perched on the edge of one of the vineyards, it butted up against a young copse of woods, decked out in autumn finery. Rocking chairs sat on the stone porch, where a barrel of mums and pansies spilled over. As if on cue, a gray cat strolled onto the porch, stretched in the patch of sunlight, and sat, regarding her as if she were the intruder.

  “Hello, fella,” Ellery said, walking over and extend
ing her hand. The cat meowed but ignored her.

  She shrugged and walked down the path marked with natural stone pavers that matched the house. A gravel drive led up to the main winery and bed and breakfast where her mother was staying. Her father had texted earlier and told her he’d try to make it for whatever her mother had planned. Once upon a time, he would have never considered not making her birthday party, but that was before her parents split. Sometimes she forgot that her parents weren’t together anymore. Every time she forgot and then remembered, the loss stung more. She wanted to believe that some things in life lasted . . . that people could truly be committed to each other. Because that’s what she would have with Josh.

  She was determined.

  Ellery started walking along an unmarked path that led into the vineyard. She glanced around for a sign that might warn her it was for staff only but didn’t see anything. The path rose through the vineyard to the top of a gentle hill. Once she reached the top, she could see acres of dark, twisted vines that looked to be in the first stages of pruning. An abandoned truck sat near a fence line that backed up to a subdivision, but she saw no evidence of workers. To her left, the hill sloped down to a small pond, and beyond that a pasture of bovines lazily chewed cud. Brilliant autumn foliage from scrubby trees tumbled toward the rippled water, and the midafternoon sun had started its descent, encompassing the scenery in warm, soft light.

  It was the perfect place to gather herself and do a few breathing exercises.

  Her shoes slid on the gravel exposed by erosion, and the sun warmed her shoulders even as the breeze caused goose bumps to dot her legs. Someone walked to the pond regularly, because the path was beaten down. Once she reached the pond, she spied a shady spot to the left that looked level and still gave her a view of the serene water and swaying reeds. It was too cool for snakes, so she should be fine folding herself into Sukhasana and searching for her center.