Room to Breathe

by Liz Talley

  Evan’s gaze was warm, and she couldn’t help but notice how much more handsome he seemed in the glow of the dinner lighting. His ruddy skin and whiskey eyes projected health and good spirits, his square jaw a certain ruggedness, and his body was evidence that he worked out daily. Everything about him made her want to learn more . . . and it struck her that he was exactly the kind of man she should be interested in rather than the twenty-five-year-old, who she’d learned earlier had not checked out and gone back to Shreveport as she’d suggested. “I was glad to do it. Poppy’s a delight. So smart, too.”

  “You read a book to his daughter?” Ellery asked, her tone . . . odd. Almost accusatory.

  “Yeah, this afternoon after I finished up everything. Poppy’s a fan of Dixie Doodle.”

  “Oh, well, we’re fans of Dee Dee O’Hara, too,” Evan said with a wink before turning back to Ellery. “Though I have to say I can’t believe that Dee Dee has a daughter your age. You look more like her sister.”

  He turned his attention back to Daphne, and she could feel both her daughter and ex-husband bristle.

  “I’m pretty sure she’s my mom. I’ve seen pictures of her preggers,” Ellery joked, but her eyes weren’t exactly happy. But then again, when were they ever happy these days?

  Daphne had to wonder about why her daughter would react as she did. After all, Ellery had started pushing her to get “out there” and start dating, and here stood a man who fit the bill, and her daughter acted . . . jealous? It was out of character and alarming because it felt like the tension that existed between them that summer was building. Daphne didn’t know how to fix it. Ellery wouldn’t let her. It was as if she liked the discord.

  Rex stood and extended his hand to Evan. “Rex Witt. I’m Ellery’s father.”

  Evan gave her ex-husband’s hand a brief shake. “Evan. Nice to meet you. You have a lovely family.”

  Rex preened. “Yeah, but you should see my girlfriend.”

  Daphne’s mouth dropped open. Everyone at the table looked goggle eyed. Even Ellery looked uncomfortable.

  “Just messing around. Daphne here’s my ex-wife. Just clarifying that because she’s on the market if you’re looking,” Rex said with a braying laugh, like he hadn’t just insulted the mother of his child, the woman who had picked up his questionable underwear, the woman he’d knocked up because he hadn’t known condoms had an expiration date. “Yeah, nice place you have here, Evan. Very quaint. I like the wagon-wheel lights and all.”

  Daphne knew her cheeks were aflame. How could Rex say something so . . . obtuse? Bragging about Cindy and then referring to her like she was cattle on an auction block. The awkwardness was palpable at the table. No one made eye contact, and everyone seemed to be really into sipping their drinks.

  Evan leveled an undecipherable look at Rex. “Thank you, I think.”

  Then Evan looked at Daphne. She was fairly certain she could read his expression. What the hell?

  She gave a small shrug and tried to smile.

  “Okay, I need to go to the back for a few minutes. Enjoy.” Evan lifted a hand and shot her a sympathetic look.

  Ellery frowned at her father but didn’t say anything. Instead she picked up her glass and took a big gulp. Daphne started to send her a warning glance but decided that maybe Ellery had the right idea. Booze might be exactly how she could get through this night.

  Thankfully, at that moment the waitress arrived with a huge platter of appetizers and a second round of drinks. Everyone at the table looked relieved to have a break from the awkward moment and turned to individual conversations.

  “Nice, Rex,” Daphne muttered.

  “What? I was joking.” He shoved a stuffed jalapeño into his mouth. “You need to lighten up.”

  “Oh, that was always my problem, right? I wasn’t any fun. I think that’s what you told the judge.” Daphne could feel ire rising inside her. Animosity fueled by hurt always hovered beneath the surface when she was around Rex. She played nice for Ellery, but she wanted to eviscerate him with the words she always held back. He was a complete jerk, an accomplished ass clown, and head of the douchebag patrol. All the little things he’d done to aggravate her were magnified by ten when they’d married, and they’d been magnified by a thousand when they’d divorced.

  Rex hissed. “Don’t start with me. It’s Ellery’s night.”

  It was always Ellery’s night, and that was probably why Ellery couldn’t deal with life’s disappointments. Daphne had only herself to blame. She’d always stepped back and let her daughter have the spotlight. The same way she’d done with Rex. When she was sixteen, she’d crawled into the back seat with Rex and given him her virginity. And she’d allowed herself to stay there until her books had yanked her out front. “After that speech, maybe that’s something you need to remember.”

  Passive aggressive much? Way to sink to his level.

  Deciding she needed to get out before she said something she’d regret, Daphne scooted back her chair. “Excuse me for a moment. I need to check on something.”

  She had already been assured by the restaurant manager that they had the chocolate sheet cake she’d made Ellery yesterday ready. They would serve it after dinner replete with candles and champagne. Tomorrow they would have a big store-bought cake, but Ellery had always loved her chocolate cake, and since there didn’t seem much about Daphne that Ellery liked these days, she’d sacrificed valuable writing time to bake the cake.

  She walked briskly through the foyer and pushed through the carved mesquite double doors onto the wide porch. The night air cooled her heated face. She sucked in the air and looked up at the twinkling stars overhead. I’m losing it, God. I mean, I really might throat punch Rex and slap my ungrateful daughter silly. Violence, Lord. I’m about to do violence. Please help me to keep my temper in check.

  “Amen,” she whispered.

  “Hey, you okay?”

  Daphne turned to find Clay standing behind her, looking concerned.

  “Oh God,” she said, remembering that sometimes God reminded a woman of her transgressions rather than merely answering her prayers. “So you’re still here?”

  “Yeah, I told you I was invited to the party tomorrow night. I’ve been in the bar drinking that wine we had a couple of weeks ago.” Clay looked unruffled and oblivious of the distress in her voice. “You know, you look like you could use some.”

  “I could use a baseball bat, Clay,” she muttered.

  “Who do I need to knock around?” he asked with a twitch of his lips. He moved so that he was in front of her and could look her full in the face. “Seriously. Are you okay?”

  Daphne put her hands over her face. She’d worn a pretty dress of evergreen that hit her right above the knees. She had allowed her legs to be bare and had pulled on cute kitten heels. Her autumnal hair was worn loose around her face, and she’d taken care with her makeup. No crow’s-feet yet, thank God. And her neck was still smooth. She should be happy and feel good about herself, but her good-for-nothing ex had made her feel fat and frumpy. Total heifer. For sale cheap, cheap.

  And here in front of her was the cure for feeling old and sexless.

  “I’ll be okay,” she said, dropping her hands and sighing. “I have to get back. I just needed some air.”

  Clay caught her by the elbow. “Hey, hey.”

  “Clay, you’re such a nice guy and really good for my ego, but I can’t do this right now.”

  “Let me come see you tonight. Please. We’ll just talk. Sometimes you need someone to listen to you . . . someone to care about you and what you want.” His eyes were so sincere and his face so handsome. Daphne remembered the way he’d made love to her, the way he’d moved beneath her, his honeyed words and firm touch healing something deep inside her.

  The irony about her world at present was that no one cared about what she wanted except this good-looking man. He wanted to help her feel better. To listen to her. To hold her. To sex her up.

  Giving in to what he offered
was so tempting. One word, and he’d come to her room that night. Then she could lose herself in his arms and feel something besides . . . second rate. But that was no reason to further a relationship that made no sense. “You’re kind, but no. I . . . I wish things could be different. We’re just too different to work, Clay.”

  He dropped his hand. “Damn, but you’re a stubborn woman.”

  She shrugged. He wasn’t wrong.

  Clay leaned in closer, and she could smell the wine on his breath and the cologne that made him somehow more sensual. “Thing is, Daph, I’ve had you, and I can read you. You want me. I want you. But you’re too afraid to take what you want.”

  His words were true. She wanted him to sweep her away from the reality of her life, but wanting to have good sex and escape from the world wasn’t a good enough reason to give in. She was more than her sexuality. She needed more than what Clay could give her, and Clay Caldwell deserved more than a divorced, premenopausal woman.

  “I have to go,” she said. She pushed on his chest so he stepped back and walked toward the bed and breakfast. Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Mia and Josh walking across the parking lot. They hadn’t seen her with Clay. Thank God.

  Now maybe her daughter would snap out of her mood and start having the fun Daphne was paying for. Time for people to start doing what they were supposed to be doing this weekend. Ellery would laugh. Clay would go home. And Rex would choke on a bone. The thought of her ex-husband’s eyes going wide and face suffusing with color as he grasped at his throat made Daphne smile.

  Okay, she’d give him the Heimlich and let him live, but she could at least enjoy the thought for a few seconds.

  CHAPTER TWELVE

  Dear Dee Dee O’Hara,

  You’re here at the vineyard. Ellery’s birthday surprise is also my surprise. Though I have to say that I’m feeling weird about it. We’ve been corresponding for a while, and I know we’re friends. Still, it’s . . . am I the only one feeling awkward?

  Do you want to meet for a drink later? I don’t know how to handle this, and I’m not sure why you didn’t tell me that the surprise weekend was here at the vineyard. I’m confused.

  Best,

  Evan

  Ellery slid her phone from her cute crossbody bag and sighed. No messages from Josh. She’d thought he’d text her something. An On the way or I can’t wait to see you, beautiful, but he hadn’t made any contact since she’d hung up on him earlier. And ever since she’d seen Evan’s email about his being confused, she’d avoided responding to him. Because, hell, she was confused, too. She didn’t know what to do about him and the lunacy she’d perpetuated by emailing him almost every day.

  She looked around the dinner table and at that moment hated everyone.

  Even stupid Evan.

  The man had looked so warmly at her mother, and Ellery could see he was attracted to her. It was supposed to be Ellery he was entranced by. She was the one who’d laid her heart bare and made the connection. When he’d glanced her way, his expression had been friendly but impersonal. Of course, it made sense that he’d feel that way. Ellery’s deception had hog-tied her into a prison of her own making. She wasn’t supposed to want Evan to be attracted to her. She wasn’t supposed to have sexy dreams about the insufferable, judgy bartender. She wasn’t supposed to have these doubts about her fiancé.

  What she was supposed to be was happy, but that felt impossible.

  Why were all these people even here? Because her mother was footing the bill for a stupid birthday party for a stupid girl who thought the world owed her streamers and cake? Was that it? Free booze and a room for the night? Hell, she couldn’t even rely on her fiancé, a man who supposedly loved her, to show up for her birthday weekend. Okay, fine, he was coming, but only because she’d essentially threatened him with ending their engagement in order to get him there.

  And even after threatening to give his ring back, when she’d called Josh earlier, the man had tried to get out of coming that night.

  He’d greeted her with a simple “Having fun, babe?” and then launched into “Hey, listen, I’m not sure I can make it.” At those words, she’d felt like he’d ripped her heart out. Hurt had poured into her like a flash flood overwhelming a sewer drain. For a moment she thought she might not be able to breathe past the pain.

  Then she got angry. Really, really angry.

  “You better get your ass down to Mia’s car when she gets there, Josh. I mean it,” she’d said in a calm but furious voice on the phone.

  “Elle, I know you want me to come, and I know I promised, but you don’t understand. Schwartz rescheduled the exam for no reason. We’re going to have to put in extra—”

  “I don’t give a fuck when the test is, Josh. You have put off everything for the past month. No! Two months. I’ve been going solo to everything we’ve been invited to. This is my birthday, and though I really don’t care about the party and balloons, I do care that my fiancé spends time with me. You promised me one night where you would not study, would not talk about school, and would not treat me like a leper. I’m claiming it, buddy. So tell your study group you have plans, and get your ass downstairs.”

  “Elle, baby—” he started in his plaintive, you’re-being-so-irrational voice.

  “Do you love me?” she’d demanded, pacing outside the bar where her mother and friends sat swilling craft cocktails and laughing. Like normal, happy people.

  For a second . . . two seconds the line was silent.

  “Of course I do,” he said.

  Something in his voice sounded weird. Like maybe he was lying. But that couldn’t be true. She’d done nothing to extinguish any part of the love he’d sworn he felt for her. She’d done everything right. She’d supported him, given him pass after pass, made him cookies, taken him cupcakes, even drawn him a freaking Epsom salt bath when his back hurt from studying too long. No, Josh loved her. They were perfect for one another. Everyone knew it. They were going through a rough patch. That was all.

  No sense in projecting her insecurity or letting doubt creep inside her head. “If that’s true, if this ring you gave me means anything, if our future together is worthwhile to you, you will be a man of your word and come to Texas.”

  “It’s not like I don’t want to be with you, Elle,” Josh said.

  “It feels that way, Josh. If this is how it’s going to be—you choosing your career over me every time, then we can end this thing now,” she said.

  At that exact moment, Gage the barkeep emerged on the stairway that led to the large patio covering the back of the property. He wore a plaid shirt over a blue T-shirt, tight jeans, and a pair of half motorcycle boots. He looked like J. Crew collided with the Hells Angels. Cool, sexy, and scruffy. His eyes met hers, and he crooked an eyebrow. Then his mouth twitched into a small smile at catching her watching him.

  Heat flooded her. She turned away.

  Damn it.

  “Elle, I told you it would be hard. I’m not choosing anything over you, but if our plan is going to work, we both have to make sacrifices.”

  “I’ll see you in a few hours. If I don’t, I will know what you have chosen,” she said, clicking off the phone, refusing to turn around and see the knowing smirk on Gage’s face. She hadn’t been checking him out. Not at all. She was in love with Josh, who was going to come to dinner.

  Because if he didn’t show, she had a hard decision to make.

  But now, sitting at the table with her friends, she was relieved that she didn’t have to figure out a new future because Josh was coming. Mia had texted and said they were on their way. Josh had chosen Ellery, and that night after they celebrated with their friends, she was determined to reconnect, to make him fall in love with her all over again.

  “Miss, is the table ready to order?” the waitress asked her for the third time. Appetizers had been cleared away, and almost everyone was on their second or third drink. If they didn’t order soon, they’d all be trashed. Her mother’s chair remained em
pty. Couldn’t blame her mother because her daddy had been out of line. Sometimes Rex didn’t think before he spoke. Her mother had looked wounded, and Ellery felt immediate kinship. Dudes didn’t know the power of their words or actions.

  “When my mother returns, we’ll order. Thanks,” she said, lifting her glass and sipping more wine. Madison sat next to her and tossed her a concerned look.

  “I’m fine,” Ellery said, trying to summon a smile and not look at the empty chair next to her.

  “He’s coming. Mia called half an hour ago, and they had almost reached Tyler,” Madison said, running a finger around the melted water on the table beneath her glass. Mads didn’t drink a lot on account of her father. Seeing your dad in rehab three times was sobering. No pun intended. But it had kept Madison from some of the addictions that plagued many of their other friends.

  For the first time that evening, Ellery noted the restaurant was full and festive. A huge fireplace covered one wall, flanked by bookshelves containing Texas authors and native artwork. An attractive bough of autumn leaves festooned the hearth where the crackling fire danced. Evan’s place was nice, and that thought gave her a blip of happiness. Over the past few months, she’d gotten to know exactly how much the vineyard meant to Evan. He’d poured so much of himself into making One Tree Estates more than just a place to harvest and make a product, but a destination that brought families together. After the death of his wife, something he shied away from talking about, he seemed to find comfort in creating a legacy for his daughter. His wish seemed to have come true, if the smiles on the faces of those dining around Ellery were any indication.

  At that moment Daphne walked back into the dining room, skating through the tables filled with chatty diners. Her mother looked more together, and when her gaze met Ellery’s, she smiled.

  “He’s here,” her mother mouthed.

  Immediately, Ellery felt the oppressive pall that hung over her dissipate. Funny how suddenly feeling valued did that to a person. She’d been so afraid he wouldn’t show . . . even though Mia had sworn that she had him in her car and was heading their way. Something about his voice when she’d asked if he loved her had caused doubt to worm its way into her conscious and lay waste to what little confidence she had left.