Beneath These Fields

by Ward Maia

  Ellis’s limbs were heavy and uncooperative, but he eventually slithered under the blankets and closed his eyes, unable to keep them open.

  Just before sleep could claim him, he felt soft warm lips press against his forehead and heard whispered words, too soft for him to make out. But he thought they spoke of comfort and familiarity.

  Chapter 14

  THE CICADA—Ellis was pretty sure that’s what the insect that kept waking him up was—woke him up with its usual buzz. Or was it a chirp? A click? A screech, scream, or a warble?

  He had no idea. He just knew that the annoying—and loud enough to cause permanent damage to his hearing—sound echoed through the silent room.

  Any other morning and it would’ve just been annoying. But his head was pounding with the consequence of his drunken antics.

  Ellis groaned and burrowed his face in the pillow. Maybe if he ignored it, it would go away.

  No such luck. Finally, admitting defeat, Ellis got out of bed and winced. His muscles were sore from working in the fields the previous day, and his skin felt clammy and dirty from rolling around drunk between the rows of coffee.

  Ellis winced internally and blushed in embarrassment. God, Rudá probably thought he was an irresponsible fool and was cursing Meredith for leaving her farm to someone like him.

  He ran his fingers through his hair and grimaced as they got caught on knots that hadn’t been there the previous night. He pulled the strand and wasn’t surprised to realize it was a tangled mess of knots caked with dirt and—to his disgust—probably dog saliva.

  The cicada chirped, or buzzed or screeched, louder than before, making Ellis wince.

  “Yeah, yeah. I get it,” he croaked, making his way to the bathroom.

  His throat was dry, and a symphony of hammers banged away merrily in his skull. He needed painkillers, lots of water, and at least ten hours of uninterrupted sleep. Without the cicada.

  More than that, he needed a shower. His muscles wouldn’t carry him as far as the kitchen if he didn’t try to soothe them with some scalding hot water.

  After showering and scrubbing his skin and scalp raw, Ellis threw on a pair of sweats and made his way to the kitchen. He stumbled a bit, partially because dawn was still a few hours away—meaning the house was mostly dark—but also because of his hangover.

  Sighing, he drank what he was sure was the equivalent of his body weight in water and took the painkillers he found after a quick search.

  A warm breeze brushed his skin. With no hope of going back to sleep—he was sure his roommate wouldn’t allow it—Ellis stepped onto the balcony and breathed in the warmth of the still predawn hours.

  He closed his eyes and let it wash over him. The smells of all things green and growing. Of the earth. Of the… smoke? He frowned and opened his eyes.

  “Want a smoke?” a low and husky voice asked from the quiet of the balcony.

  Ellis whirled around, jumping ten feet in the air and clutching his chest. He might’ve also squawked and lost his footing, having to hold on to the rail to keep from falling to his death on the patio below.

  “Holy fuck balls!” Ellis said in a too high-pitched voice.

  Rudá, enveloped by the shadows of the porch, sat on their bench. His face barely illuminated by the warm red glow of the cigarette he was smoking.

  “So, do you want a smoke?” Rudá asked. The red glow momentarily intensified as he took a deep drag of the cigarette.

  Ellis exhaled heavily looking out into the night, and nodded. He heard the creaking sound of Rudá getting up, but Ellis didn’t turn to look at him. Not even when the heat from his body seared Ellis’s skin as Rudá stood next to him.

  A hand holding the lit cigarette Rudá had just been smoking hovered in front of his face. Ellis reached for it and took another drag, sighing as the nicotine and smoke curled inside his lungs.

  It was a nasty habit. Ellis was fully aware of that. He tried kicking it some odd years ago but had been less than successful. Besides, he didn’t have that many vices. It was mostly coffee and cigarettes. He stopped beating himself up over it a long time ago.

  “Couldn’t sleep?” Rudá asked in a low voice, as if afraid to disturb the quiet of the night.

  Ellis shook his head. “My room came with an unwanted guest. One that keeps waking me up at odd hours. You?”

  “What kind of unwanted guest?” Rudá ignored Ellis’s question about whether he’d been unable to sleep.

  “Insect. Pretty sure it’s a cicada.” Ellis handed back the cigarette, and Rudá brought it to his lips without hesitation.

  For some ridiculous reason, it warmed something inside of Ellis to see the other man doing that. He huffed out a breath, frustrated with himself. God, he was acting like an infatuated teenager. Next he’d be building a shrine to Rudá.

  “Cicadas only come around at the end of the year. It’s March.” Rudá handed the cigarette to Ellis and nodded for him to finish it.

  “Well, this one has its calendar mixed up. Because it keeps… chirping me awake,” he grumbled, crushing the butt under his slipper.

  “Are you sure?” Rudá inched closer, resting one hand on the railing in front of him.

  “You’re welcome to come see it for yourself. Or hear, because I haven’t been able to find it yet.” Ellis shrugged as if Rudá’s closeness wasn’t doing things to him.

  “Well, if it is a cicada, it won’t bother you for much longer,” he said, and Ellis saw one of his shoulders rise in a half shrug. “They only chirp towards the end of their life cycle. It’ll be gone soon.”

  “So, it’s like a swan-song sort of thing? The chirp?” Ellis turned to look at the other man.

  He was closer, his chest almost brushing Ellis’s. Ellis saw he wore a thin white cotton T-shirt and red shorts. It was an odd combination but one that somehow suited him.

  “You know the whole swan-song is a myth, right? Swans aren’t mute throughout their life and only sing right before they die. They actually make this low grumbly noise,” Rudá said.

  Ellis took a minute to think about that. The somewhat surreal situation he found himself in made him chuckle and throw his head back to look up at the sky. Even though he knew it was pointless. The stars hadn’t had any answers for him when he shouted his questions up at them earlier. Now would not be different.

  “What?” Rudá asked.

  “I just never thought I’d be standing here.” He extended his arms to indicate the patio in front of them, cleared of all evidence of the earlier feast. His shoulder brushed Rudá’s chest at the movement. “In a coffee farm left to me as an inheritance by my estranged aunt, trading animal facts with the guy I had a drunk make-out session with not four hours ago.”

  Ellis blushed at his own words and shot a quick panicked look at the other man. Maybe he’d think Ellis wasn’t entirely sober and would blame his words on the alcohol.

  Rudá chuckled and nodded, as if he understood what Ellis was talking about. He relaxed a fraction, feeling a little better. Rudá reached into a back pocket of his red shorts and pulled out the cigarette pack.

  He lit one and after pocketing the pack, handed it to Ellis. Ellis repeated the ritual of taking a deep drag and giving it back to Rudá.

  They stood like that, silent except for the sound of their breaths, as they shared smoke and the warm night air. They didn’t look away from each other. Ellis felt almost like he was in a trance, staring into those brown eyes that looked almost black under the faint moonlight illuminating them.

  “Maybe it’s a wandering soul.” Rudá exhaled the smoke, staring intently at Ellis.

  “What do you mean?”

  “The Krenak, my people, believe that we all have a primary soul as well as multiple secondary ones. You only die when the primary soul leaves the body. But the secondary ones can linger and sometimes turn into enchanted animals. Maybe your cicada is a lingering soul,” Rudá murmured.

  “It’s not mine,” Ellis murmured back, swallowing.

&nb
sp; “Want me to check it out?” Rudá asked in that low husky voice he sometimes used when talking to Ellis.

  “Huh?” Ellis asked stupidly, completely absorbed by his eyes.

  “The cicada.” Rudá pressed his chest against Ellis’s side and smiled that dimpled smile Ellis grew fonder of with every passing day. “Want me to check it out?”

  Ellis swallowed and, not wanting to think too much on what they might do once they were alone in his room, nodded. Rudá’s smile widened but also softened.

  “You’re sure?” he asked.

  Ellis knew he wasn’t asking about the damn insect. At least hoped he wasn’t. And even though he might have doubts about a lot of things, this no longer was one of them. He thought about what Ina had said to him during dinner. Was that how Rudá felt? Did he blame Ellis?

  His stomach clenched at the thought, but he pushed it away. Rudá was a grown man. If he had a problem with Ellis, he would probably voice it.

  Finally, he nodded.

  Rudá wrapped one hand around his wrist and tugged him gently, pulling him away from the balcony. Ellis went without any resistance.

  As soon as they stepped into his room, Rudá kicked the door closed and pressed Ellis against it. Their mouths met in a clash of lips, teeth, and tongues.

  Rudá’s hands roamed over his bare torso, familiarizing themselves with his body. Callused fingers left goose bumps in their wake, and Ellis shivered involuntarily.

  “What about my guest?” Ellis nipped Rudá’s bottom lip, letting the other man know he in no way wanted to hunt for the bug.

  “Maybe later we can look for it.” Rudá traced Ellis’s jaw with his lips.

  He laced their fingers together and pulled Ellis away from the door, toward the bed. They kissed as they shuffled their way across the room and only broke apart when Rudá spun them around and Ellis lost his balance at the sudden movement, landing on top of his sheets with a surprised gasp. Rudá smiled above him, and Ellis returned the smile, reaching up and tugging the other man down before he could react.

  They collided in a tangle of limbs and slightly awkward chuckles as Rudá’s elbow slipped on the sheets as he tried to right himself. Ellis fisted the thin white cotton T-shirt, and Rudá let himself be pulled, going willingly and rewarding him with messy warm kisses to his lips, jaw, neck, and collarbone.

  Ellis snuck his hand underneath Rudá’s shirt and had the satisfaction of feeling the other man shudder against his skin. He traced the dimples at the base of his spine and dragged his fingers farther up, against the bumps of bone beneath skin.

  Rudá’s hand traced a similar path in the opposite direction, down Ellis’s chest and past his stomach. He dug his blunt nails into his skin, leaving pink marks in their trail and making Ellis’s nerve endings sing.

  Ellis gasped into a scorching kiss as Rudá’s hand found its way past the elastic of his sweatpants, where Ellis wanted him most.

  Next came a flurry of arms and legs, the ripping of a thin white cotton T-shirt, and the pulling of shorts and pants. Breathless demands and gasps and some high-pitched squeaks Ellis wasn’t too proud of, as he was tossed this way and that. Seemingly endless miles of dark brown skin Ellis mapped with his nails. And then laughing while trying to catch his breath as he clutched the sheets, feeling the weight and warmth of Rudá’s chest pressed against his back.

  Even though Ellis was somewhat experienced, he could honestly say it had never happened like that. Rough wayward hands tracing paths down his stomach. Arms and thighs trembling and straining to hold him up. Familiar panting breaths that smelled like coffee and smoke against his neck. Teeth sinking into his shoulder and his name, gasped almost reverently, just seconds before Ellis tumbled into a charged atmosphere that made his skin erupt in goose bumps.

  The aftermath was made up of lazy and breathless kisses on lips and sweat-slicked skin. It was tangled limbs too worn out and spent to find more comfortable resting places. It was soft touches and softer looks, witnessed only by the quiet of the approaching dawn, that spoke of familiarity and family. Of home.

  “You should sleep,” Rudá murmured against his skin.

  Ellis nodded, too tired to answer, eyelids already closing. Fingers tracing irregular patterns on his back and lips brushing against his temple lulled him into much deserved oblivion.

  Chapter 15

  ELLIS WOKE up hot and sweaty. It felt as if there was a furnace surrounding him. One that was sweating on top of him, making the room feel hotter than it probably should be for the morning.

  Speaking of which….

  Ellis cracked his eyes open and looked around, trying to see the clock at the nightstand without moving too much. Despite the heat and the sweat, Ellis felt strangely comfortable with Rudá’s considerable bulk haphazardly thrown over his.

  The sight of fluttering curtains and a brightly illuminated sky, visible only when the wind was strong enough to ruffle them partially open, greeted him. A warm breeze slid over his skin, cooling the sweat beads and causing goose bumps.

  Even though he could feel Rudá’s body pressing his down into the bed, all he could see was an arm thrown over his and a hand loosely encircling his wrist. As if Rudá was afraid Ellis might get up and disappear in the middle of the night.

  Ellis wasn’t exactly sure what the social etiquette was in this situation, but he couldn’t help the small smile that played on his lips. Sure, adding sex to an already messy situation might not have been the smartest decision, but as Ellis searched his feelings, he found no regrets.

  He couldn’t, however, find a way to peek at the clock without moving. He shifted slightly, still trying not to disturb Rudá. Unfortunately, it couldn’t be helped.

  Rudá stirred on top of him, his hand tightening momentarily on his wrist.

  “Morning,” Rudá said in a voice still scratchy from sleep.

  Thighs brushed against his, and the evidence of Rudá’s morning situation made Ellis shiver. Rudá hummed softly in his ear, his hair tickling Ellis’s temple.

  “What time is it?” Rudá asked, almost as an afterthought, too distracted by the lazy morning exploration of Ellis’s body.

  Ellis craned his neck and finally managed to catch a glimpse of the clock.

  “A little after ten.” Ellis gasped as lips and teeth brushed the shell of his ear.

  Rudá froze on top of him and cursed softly before rolling off the bed and jumping to his feet. Ellis mourned the loss of the extra heat but did his best to tamp his disappointment down. He turned and sat on the bed, watching Rudá jumping around and getting dressed.

  He blushed and pulled the covers farther up his body. He didn’t know why he suddenly felt bashful, considering what they’d gotten up to a few hours ago. Including the second time. When he’d reached unconsciously for the hard and warm body sleeping next to him and had been halfway to bliss before either of them was fully awake.

  Yet here he was, blushing and feeling awkward. He wrung the sheets between his fingers and huffed out an annoyed breath when he realized what he was doing.

  For fuck’s sake! They were both grown-ass men. Ellis could handle a one-night stand with maturity. He’d done it before. There was no reason this should be different.

  A quiet chuckle drew his attention, and he looked at Rudá to see him fully dressed. Well, as dressed as wearing a thin rumpled T-shirt and red cotton shorts was.

  “I can’t remember the last time I was late for anything.” He ran a hand through his mussed hair.

  Ellis’s mouth went dry with the memories of burying his own fingers into the thick strands and pulling back, earning himself a groan and miles of exposed neck he’d taken full advantage of.

  In fact, he swore he could see faint marks on Rudá’s skin left by his teeth and mouth. He blushed and averted his eyes to the wall behind Rudá.

  “You’re a bad influence,” Rudá teased, walking toward him.

  He sat on the edge of the bed next to Ellis and caressed one of his hands. The touch was gent
le and a little uncertain. As if Rudá wasn’t sure it would be welcome.

  Ellis turned his palm up, lacing their fingers together. Floored by how right it felt, he swallowed the sudden lump of emotion blocking his throat.

  “Sorry.” Ellis shrugged, even though they could both tell he wasn’t sorry in the least.

  Rudá smiled his mischievous dimpled smile. “I won’t be home for lunch, but I’ll be back before dinner.”

  Ellis nodded because he wasn’t sure how else to respond to that.

  “See you later?” Rudá asked, and the uncertainty in his voice warmed something in Ellis. It struck him then that this usually confident man could be as insecure as he was about where they stood after their night—early morning?—of rolling around in his sheets.

  “I’m not going anywhere.” Ellis squeezed Rudá’s hand and gave him what he hoped was a reassuring smile.

  Rudá hesitated briefly before leaning forward and giving Ellis a soft chaste kiss. Then he got to his feet and walked to the door. He glanced back and smiled at Ellis again. But it was muted, and a shadow crossed his face before Rudá left, closing the door behind him.

  Ellis stared at the closed door for a few minutes before flopping on his back and sighing at the ceiling. It took him a while to decipher the half-haunted look on Rudá’s face before he left.

  It had been there because Ellis had lied. Not intentionally, but still.

  I’m not going anywhere.

  Those were Ellis’s parting words to him. But it was a lie, wasn’t it? Because he was going somewhere. He was leaving in a few days. As soon as he sold the farm, he’d be on his way back to Rio.

  He groaned, grabbed the other pillow next to him, and smashed it against his face. It smelled like Rudá, and he huffed out an exasperated breath, having no clue where to go from here.

  THE AFTERNOON found him sitting on the steps leading down to the patio. Workers came and went, calling out greetings he responded to, but his mind was miles and miles away.