Monica's Choice

by George Bird Grinnell

  *CHAPTER XV.*

  *"OH, MONICA, DON'T!"*

  "My text you will find in the First Book of Chronicles, the twenty-ninthchapter and the fifth verse. 'Who then is willing to consecrate hisservice this day unto the Lord'?"

  The young preacher, for he had been barely two years in orders, read theverse once, and yet again, feelingly, and as if he would impress everyword of it upon his hearers, and then he closed his Bible, and began hissermon.

  It was not a very long one; indeed there were a few who wished it hadbeen half as long again. It was not by any means a brilliant peroration,but yet there were points about it which made it the most remarkablesermon to which many of his hearers had ever listened. And that lastword gives the key to the whole thing; they _had_ to listen! Whetherthey liked it or not (and many, very many, did not at all appreciate thehome-truths which they heard), some unseen and uncontrollable impulseforced them to listen, even against their will. The earnest, ringingtones of the young preacher, his dark eyes, which seemed to penetratetheir very motives and thoughts, stirred the apathetic indifference ofthat nominally Christian congregation; and they realised, some of themfor the first time, that the service of God was a very real and tangiblething, and that they had, so far, had no part or lot in the matter.

  Leslie Herschel dwelt first upon the Master, then upon the serviceitself, and finally upon those who were called to serve, and when andhow that service should be rendered.

  "My friends," he said, in conclusion, "I claim your service,whole-hearted, faithful, loyal service, to-day, for my Master. He willforce none, coerce no one into rendering unloving obedience, but Hepleads with you to-day to come with willing hearts and offer Him yourbest. And what does He promise in return? Peace, joy, hope,satisfaction in this life, and eternal life in the world to come. I askyou, are you content to do without Him? Is this world, pleasant andattractive though it be, so satisfying that you need nothing more thanthe gaiety, the success, the honour, aye, and the gold which it offersto some, but by no means all of its devotees? But supposing you _are_satisfied now (and I very much doubt if there exists a single individualwho is absolutely satisfied), will you be satisfied, think you, when youcome to stand, all unprepared, in the presence of your Judge? Will thisworld stand you in good stead _then_?" And the preacher leaned over thepulpit, while with searching glance his eyes seemed to scan every one ofthe disturbed faces before him. "The Bible tells me that 'this worldpasseth away.' What will it advantage you, _then_, whether you havemoved in a select circle, or not? Whether you have acquired fame anddistinction, or not? Whether you have been known among men as almost amillionaire, or not? Oh! my friends, I beseech you, with allearnestness, that you will _this day_ choose the Lord Christ for yourMaster.

  "It is an old, but true, saying, that 'To-morrow never comes'; we areonly sure of to-day, therefore 'Choose ye this day whom ye will serve,'and say: 'Behold, Thy servants are ready to do whatsoever my Lord theKing shall appoint.'

  "I do not, I dare not, promise you a path of ease and luxury, but I_can_ say, for I have proved it, that the life which has Christ as itsAlpha and Omega is the only truly happy one, the only life worth living.And that word 'whatsoever,' if you really mean what you say, may entailthe giving up of many a cherished plan, many a life-long project. It maymean going to China or Africa as a medical missionary for one; to facethe misery and horrors of life among the denizens of the East End foranother; to live a Christlike life in a worldly and uncongenialatmosphere for a third.

  "But in it all, and through it all, Christ's never-failing arm willguide and uphold you, and His voice will be heard, saying: 'Behold, Icome quickly, and My reward is with Me, to give every man according ashis work shall be.' '_Who_, then, is willing to consecrate his service_this day_ unto the Lord?' May God in His mercy grant that from many aheart in this church this morning the cry may go up to Him, 'O Lord ..._I_ am willing.'"

  The strains of the organ, on which the opening bars of that beautifulconsecration hymn:

  Take my life, and let it be Consecrated, Lord, to Thee,

  were being exquisitely played by the organist, accentuated rather thandisturbed the hush of solemnity which had fallen upon the congregation,as the young preacher concluded his earnest appeal for personaldedication; and there were undoubtedly several that morning who,realising the claim which Christ had upon them, willingly surrenderedall to Him.

  The Beauchamp and Drury parties met in the quaint old churchyard, andthe two elder ladies walked slowly on, while the young people waitedabout for Mr. Drury.

  "A wonderful sermon, was it not?" said Mrs. Drury.

  "Ye--es; but rather too dictatorial in style for such a young preacher."Mrs. Beauchamp's tones expressed dissatisfaction.

  "Did you think it dictatorial?" enquired the vicar's wife pleasantly;"it did not strike me in that way. I thought it was a grandopportunity, splendidly seized. With such a varied congregation, comingas we do from all parts of England, no one but God can foresee theresults that may accrue, with His blessing, from the faithful messagethis morning."

  "Perhaps so," was Mrs. Beauchamp's somewhat absent reply; and she turnedback as if to wait for the girls.

  Amethyst and Elsa were close at hand, and quickly joined them, butMonica and Olive were some distance behind, walking slowly, andapparently deep in conversation. Mrs. Drury, who had not beenunobservant of the effect of the sermon upon Monica, as she satlistening, listlessly at first, and then was roused into paying startledattention to the (to her) unusual discourse, tactfully drew her ownchild and Elsa into conversation, as they walked on. For she was sure,from the expressions on the faces of the girls behind, that they werediscussing what they had been hearing.

  As a matter of fact, after a few commonplaces with Marcus and Roger, thegirls left them, and slowly following the others, had been silentcompanions for a few moments.

  Then Olive, shaking off the unwelcome feelings which had takenpossession of her, said gaily: "A penny for your thoughts, Monica!"

  "You can have them without the penny," was her friend's rather sadreply, as she slipped her arm into Olive's. "I'm half inclined to dowhat he said, Ollie."

  Olive raised a startled face to Monica's, and read quite a newexpression upon it, in which there was a certain amount ofdetermination. "What do you mean?" she queried; but in her own heartshe knew full well what Monica meant.

  "Why, to say _I_ am willing," said Monica, with some confusion, for shefelt diffident about expressing what she meant even to her greatestfriend.

  "Oh, Monica, don't! We'll never have any more good times together,"said Olive, and it must have been her bad angel who prompted her words;"if you do you'll have to leave me behind, for _I'm_ not going to givein."

  "I wish I could live like he said," and Monica's face looked wistful."Sometimes I----"

  "Well?"

  "Sometimes I long to be able to write and tell dad that it is allsettled. He _would_ be so glad."

  "Well, I don't see much in it," said Olive obstinately. Her betterfeelings were aroused by Monica's words, but she deliberately crushedthem down.

  "Oh, yes, there is; there's _everything_ in it! You've only to look atthat young clergyman, and your mother, and even Elsa, to see what adifference there is. Oh, Olive, if I had your mother to help me I_would_, really, say to God what we sang just now,

  Take myself, and I will be Ever, only, all for Thee"--

  and Monica's young face glowed with feeling.

  "No, you wouldn't," was Olive's moody reply, "any more than I do. Ofcourse, I mean to be a Christian some day, but not while I'm only agirl; I want some pleasure first."

  "Oh, Olive, Olive, you little know the dark cloud that even now isbeginning to gather over your head!"

  With a sigh, Monica turned away, and, with one consent, they hurriedafter the others, and no more was said. But the elder girl's heart hadbeen roused and awakened, and never again would she drift
into herformer state of indifference.

  The two young fellows, waiting about in the churchyard for Mr. Drury, atlength received a message to the effect that he would be detained stilllonger, and they had better not wait for him. So they, too, strolleddown to the Shore Road, where they knew they would eventually comeacross their friends.

  "I'm almost sorry I'm not in your shoes, old man," said Marcus, as headapted his long, swinging strides to his friend's shorter steps.

  "It's a very good thing that you are a little undecided about it," wasRoger's somewhat enigmatical reply. "But tell me what you mean?"

  "Why, I felt this morning as if I would give anything to go in formedicine, with a view to going abroad; but I know father has set hisheart on my taking orders."

  "If I remember rightly, the preacher distinctly observed that theservice was not to be one of picking and choosing but a case of'whatsoever.'"

  Something unusual about the tone in which Roger made this remark, and atotal absence of his usual cynicism, made his friend glance curiously athim, and he realised that a change, undefinable at present, butnevertheless unmistakable, had taken place in Roger Franklyn.

  "I say, old chap, I wish with all my heart _you_ would be a 'WhatsoeverChristian,'" he said impulsively.

  "With God's help I mean to be," was the unexpected reply, as Rogerlifted his hat, and glanced upward, as if registering a vow.

  "Thank God!" was Marcus' low but fervent response, as he gripped hisfriend's hand with such force as to make him wince.

  "I knew you would be glad," was the quiet reply, "and so will my dearestmother; she has been praying a long time for her eldest boy, and he hasbeen very obstinate. But I shall need all your prayers, now, foralready I foresee trouble and disappointment looming in the distance.The pater is expecting me to follow in his footsteps when I leave St.Adrian's, but I--oh! Drury, I am sure those words were meant for methis morning. There was probably not another medical student in thechurch, and I felt called to offer myself to Him for foreign service, ifHe will accept me."

  "You need not doubt His acceptance, old fellow. When we give what Godasks for, you may be very sure He takes it. How glad Herschel will be!"

  "Who is Herschel?" ask Roger quickly.

  "Why, this morning's preacher. Did not you hear father talking abouthim last night? No? Oh, then I must tell you. He is staying down herewith his mother and a sister, I believe, and father met him yesterday,some time. Leslie Herschel's father (the late Dean of Balmore) and hewere great friends, so he was awfully glad to come across him, and askedhim, straight off, to preach this morning. He has had a curacy in somehuge mining town, but he is going out to the Soudan this autumn."

  "It's marvellous how God makes things fit in," remarked young Franklyn,with rather an embarrassed laugh; it was such a new thing for _him_ tobe talking in that strain. "I suppose, humanly speaking, Mr. Drurymight have preached a hundred sermons and they would never have touchedme; but just this one, from an utter stranger, _did_. And if he hadbeen here either last Sunday, or next, instead of to-day, I should nothave heard it!"

  "There is a little chorus we undergrads sing sometimes, before we beginour Open-Airs, in Cambridge," said Marcus, "which runs thus--

  'I believe God answers prayer. I am sure God answers prayer. I have proved God answers prayer. Glory to His name.'"

  "He certainly answered prayer for me this morning, and I'll trust Himfor all the future."

  Thus, Roger Franklyn, medical student, was "transformed"; and, in thecourse of a few days, he returned to his work at St. Adrian's, filledwith a new purpose, governed by one desire, and one only, namely, toconsecrate his service henceforth unto the Lord.

  Mr. and Mrs. Drury's hearts were filled with thanksgiving when theyheard of his conversion, and a smile irradiated Leslie Herschel's facewhen he was told of one result, at any rate, of his claim for service.

  And Elsa: who can describe Elsa's joy, when, late that Sunday evening asher brother bade her "good-night" at Rocklands gate, he bent down andwhispered his news in her ear? He knew well enough which of his twinsisters would be the one to rejoice with him, for Elsa's brave effortsto live a consistent Christian life in her own home had not beenunobserved by her eldest brother.

  "Oh, Roger, darling, how splendid!" and she clung tenderly to him."_How_ glad mamma will be when she hears; she has been praying for youso long. And I have, too," she added shyly.

  "Dear little sister," he murmured, as he stooped and kissed herforehead. "Go on praying, Elsa, not only for me, but for Dick, andOlive, and the others."

  Monica was strangely subdued all that Sunday. Twice Mrs. Beauchampenquired if she were not well, but she replied that nothing ailed her.Elsa, who felt sure that she had been, in some way, influenced by thesermon, tried to muster sufficient courage to speak to her about it; butno opportunity occurred. Olive seemed determined never to leaveMonica's side for a moment. So persistent was she, that even Monicagrew cross once, and said pettishly, "Do be quiet for a bit, Olive, Iwant to read." But if any one had taken the trouble to watch hermovements, they would have seen that she rarely turned a page, althoughshe appeared to be absorbed in her story.

  In reality, Monica was thinking; good and evil were striving for themastery within her, and she did not seem able to come to any decision.She longed to become a Christian, in her inmost heart, but somethingseemed to bar the way. At first, she could not think what the obstaclecould be; but before she had lain down to rest that night, she knew thatit was her friend, Olive, who was hindering her from taking the decisivestep. Olive had said, "Oh, Monica, don't!" and although she knew thatshe was acting worse than foolishly, Monica decided not to make thegreat choice just then!