Resurrection

by Karina Bliss

  The gauzy drapes let the light through but when he swept them aside the sun still scorched his eyeballs. Retreating, he grabbed sunglasses and jammed them on before stumbling poolside to tell Dimity and Seth to keep their hound under control. The terracotta tiles were hot underfoot and his bare toes curled in protest.

  Jared was in the pool with his toddler, tossing Rocco up like a lump of baby dough, and splashing him down into the water. Rocco’s high giggles were delirious with joy, every one sending the pooch into a frenzy of doggie excitement as she raced up and down the pool’s edge, barking.

  Jared’s wife Kayla exited the house carrying a salad, and Seth was manning the grill. Five-year-old Maddie was climbing the ladder out of the pool, in a lime-green bathing suit, orange Nemo bathing cap, and red goggles. The flutterboard she was carrying jammed in one of the rungs and Lily, who was treading water at the bottom of the ladder, freed it.

  To Moss, on the road less traveled, it was Grand Central freak-out. Whenever he came across his bandmates playing happy families he felt a potent mix of irritation, claustrophobia, loneliness, awkwardness, and envy. He could wander into places most people would drive ten miles to avoid, but scenes like this—pool toys, flutterboards, barbecues, and good clean fun—terrified him. Easy affection was something he couldn’t repay in kind.

  As he backed the fuck up, Maddie caught sight of him. “Moss!” she shrieked, forgetting the flutterboard. “Did you see me? I skateboarded on my tummy on the water!”

  “No,” he called, taking another step backward. “Do it again.”

  Instead, she ran over.

  “Don’t run on wet tiles,” Dimity cautioned as she stepped outside carrying a tray of cold drinks. Placing them on the outside table next to Kayla’s salad, she scooped up her excited dog as he skittered in Maddie’s wet wake.

  The little girl slowed to a fast trot. She was a cool kid except for an annoying habit of bouncing through his force field as though it didn’t exist. “Before I show you my new trick we have to do our stare-down,” she informed him. “I wanted to wake you up before but Daddy said you’d growwwwwl.”

  Surrendering to the inevitable, Moss pushed his sunglasses onto his head, then lifted the little girl’s foggy swim goggles. Picking her up, he held her at arm’s length. If he blinked before his arms lost strength, she won.

  They’d changed the rules multiple times since their first stare-off last year across a table at Zander’s mansion. Until he’d met Maddie Walker, Moss would have said he could outstare God, but this kid must have frozen eyelids.

  Lately he’d begun cheating, blowing into her eyes or trying to make her laugh, which encouraged her to cheat too, yelling “Boo” at him or tickling him. At which point Jared had intervened. “We’re just getting our daughter to follow rules and you’re undoing all our good work.”

  When they’d first played this way, Moss had to pretend his arms were shaking to give the little girl wins, but as she grew the odds had shifted steadily in her favor. One minute in, he adjusted his hold and her round brown eyes narrowed in anticipated triumph.

  “You been working out, Maddie?”

  She wouldn’t giggle, though she clearly wanted to. The kid was more competitive than Dimity, who called her mini-me. Which explained why Dimity put down the dog so it could scamper over and clamber on Moss’s tender bare feet.

  “Okay now, that’s just unfair,” he complained. Maddie giggled but her eyes stayed unblinking on his.

  Behind her, Lily climbed the ladder out of the pool and his mouth went dry. She’d pulled her hair into a topknot that left the graceful column of her neck bare, and was wearing boy shorts with a racerback bikini top—sportswear, scoop-necked, nothing overtly sexy about it. But the woman had a body that was meant to be bare—golden-skinned with a peach of an ass, curvy hips, and a narrow waist. Without the distracting implants she looked athletic and strong. His arms started to tremble and it had nothing to do with muscle weakness. It was shock. Maddie gave a chortle of satisfaction.

  He’d thought his attraction to Stormy Hagen was based on what she’d represented. She was a trophy, a symbol that would confirm he’d left his ‘nobody’ status behind. Because that was how the exchange worked in the rock world. The most beautiful were attracted to the most talented.

  He’d thought wrong. His strength failed, and he dropped Maddie gently to the ground and yanked his sunglasses down, while she skipped around him, delighted. “I win, I win!”

  Needing a few seconds to regain his composure, he picked up the overexcited dog only for Dimity to stroll toward him and reclaim her. “Don’t even think about it,” she murmured in a steely voice.

  Clearly he hadn’t pulled his shades down fast enough. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

  Across the pool, Lily smiled at him and he lost another layer of self-protection.

  “She’s not one of your pussy pelts, Moss.” Dimity blocked his view. “The last thing she needs is another Travis—”

  Now he was pissed. “You’re comparing me to that asshole? You really think we’re the same guy?”

  “You tell me.”

  Maddie flung herself into the pool, the flutterboard stretched out in front of her, skating across the surface of the water like a human torpedo. Water planed up and splashed their legs. They stepped away from the pool’s edge.

  “I don’t have to tell you anything that isn’t related to working together. You’re my manager, not my mother.”

  “Then quit acting like a fucking entitled teenager. Stop eye-banging my friend.”

  “She’s my friend, too.” As he said it, he realized it was true.

  Seth joined them. “What’s going on?”

  “Nothing,” they snapped together. Dimity wasn’t a snitch.

  “Nothing is getting pretty loud,” said Seth. The dog whined for him and he took her from Dimity.

  “Loud is how we enjoy it,” his fiancée reminded him.

  “Okay.” Seth’s hazel eyes met Moss’s, easygoing and friendly, with a glint of warning. “Nice timing, Sleeping Beauty. I have a sausage with your name on it.”

  “What the hell do you see in this guy, again?” Moss said to Dimity. We’ll discuss this privately later.

  “His succulent sausage,” she deadpanned. Damn right we will.

  “You and Seth should be a comedy act. Anyway, I’m fasting to see if it helps my pre-performance nausea.”

  “Come and have a soda, at least,” said their peacemaker.

  Lily walked toward them, all curves and smiles, and Moss reached his limit. He could barely hold his poker face as it was. “I don’t do happy families, you know that. I’m going back to bed.”

  And he got the hell out of there.

  * * *

  “Where’s Moss disappearing to?” Lily finished towel-drying her hair and wrapped it around herself sarong-style as she joined Dimity and Seth. She was conscious of a slight disappointment. It would have been nice to all have lunch together.

  “Bed,” said Seth.

  “But we have so much great food.” The barbecue had been her idea, and she’d spent the morning making salads and whipping up a chocolate mousse. “Should I try and change his mind?” He’d helped her face down her nemesis and that was worth celebrating. For the first time since the sex scandal broke, she felt real optimism. I might just pull this off.

  Seth and Dimity exchanged one of those speaking looks couples did sometimes. “Probably better to let sleeping grizzlies lie,” he answered.

  “I wouldn’t want you getting eaten.” Dimity muttered, steering her toward the barbecue. Her eyes sparked with anger. She and Moss had obviously crossed swords. They seemed to rile each other up without even trying.

  He delighted in disrupting his manager’s military-precise schedules and she refused to soften her style, though she must know that laying down the law never worked with outlaws. They both needed to compromise, but that was their issue to work through, much as the peacemaker in Lily wan
ted to knock their heads together. Not my business, she reminded herself. I’m just passing through.

  “Let me guess,” Jared commented when he’d dried off the kids and they’d gathered at the outdoor table to eat. “Nerves are kicking in for Moss already.” He grabbed the ketchup from his daughter, who was in danger of burying her burger under it. “That’s enough, Maddie-girl.”

  “Awww.” Picking up her plate, she crawled into the tiny pup tent that had been erected solely to entice the kids out of the pool. Rocco’s little Buddha-shaped silhouette shoved over to make room for her. Lily had bought it for them yesterday after Kayla had mentioned the ‘water wars.’

  “Moss is trialing not eating before tonight’s gig.” Seth served himself potato salad. “Thinks it might help with the nausea.”

  Lily was so surprised she spoke with her mouth full. “Moss gets stage fright?”

  “We all do.” Seth passed the salad tongs across the table to Dimity. “He used to take anxiety meds, but he says it affects his performance as a singer. Now the poor bastard barfs and bears it.”

  Lily chewed and swallowed. Who would have guessed? “And what are your symptoms?”

  “I turn into the Hulk,” he admitted cheerfully. “I used to spend the whole afternoon before a big show spoiling for a fight, but my manager found a partial cure.” His eyes met his fiancée’s across the table, and his grin took on a wolfish quality. “Now I’m only a son of a bitch thirty minutes in advance.”

  “What do you do for him?” Lily asked Dimity, curious. “Maybe it would work for Moss.”

  Her friend tried to look demure and failed. “I take him to bed and let him have his way with me.”

  Jared looked at his wife. “You can only wish, right babe?”

  Kayla laughed. They’d been a couple since high school and at first glance seemed mismatched, Jared being tall, lean, and intensely poetic, while Kayla was short, voluptuous, and warmly down to earth. Last year, his newfound fame had wrought havoc on their marriage, but they’d survived the crisis and now radiated a passionate contentment that gave Lily hope that happy marriages were possible.

  “Jared cheats on me.”

  Lily dropped her fork. “What?”

  “Uh-huh.” The brunette nodded solemnly. “With a pound of M&M’s.”

  “I don’t even allow her to come backstage before pre-show,” Jared admitted. “If she saw me, it would ruin our sex life forever. I even have to color code the M&M’s before I eat them.” He grimaced. “It’s not something I’m proud of.”

  “Aww, poor baby.” Kayla went to plant a kiss on his forehead; he lifted his face and captured her mouth.

  Watching them, Lily stifled a pang of envy. Her quest for true love might have ended badly but she still believed in it, still celebrated it when she saw it.

  “Once I tried going cold turkey,” Jared confided when he’d finished kissing his wife. “It didn’t end well.”

  “He got so anxious I had to send out for emergency supplies,” recalled Dimity, who was secretly feeding her dog under the chair.

  Jared nodded. “Seth and I ended up head to head telling each other to calm the fuck down. If Moss hadn’t come out and thrown up on my new Corthay suede shoes, we would have come to blows.”

  “A proud moment for all of us,” Seth said solemnly, and everyone cracked up laughing.

  Moss should be here sharing war stories, Lily thought. They’d been a tight unit under Zander’s mentorship. Why was he now isolating himself?

  On the rare occasions they all ate together, he left the table on the last mouthful, and he turned every conversation to music or band business. She recalled his uneasiness about the band’s future the other night. Even if the album bombed, he must know his friends had his back. Except…believing must be difficult when your survival once depended on not trusting anyone.

  After lunch, she plated some of the leftovers and left them in the fridge; Moss could eat them after the gig. Heading to her bedroom to change out of her damp bathing suit, she stopped outside his door. Maybe he’d reconsider joining them?

  But as she raised her hand to knock, she remembered the way he’d laughed in the car yesterday—open and warm, admiring and oh-so-desirable. That moment of susceptibility bugged her. They might have joked about their spirit animals but she’d bet her bottom dollar that Moss’s wasn’t a fluffy bunny or kitten. She lowered her hand. Better to let sleeping predators lie.

  Chapter Twelve

  “With the guys out of earshot, give me the goss,” Kayla said a few hours later. The three women were sitting around the dining table, enjoying a glass of champagne, Dimity’s pre-show ritual. Moss still hadn’t resurfaced, and Seth and Jared were watching Frozen with Maddie in the movie room until it was time to leave for the gig. “Did you date any nice Englishmen while you were in the UK?”

  “Nope. I haven’t dated in over a year.” Since Travis. “I’ve been pouring all my energy into kids and career development.” She’d needed self-nurture; needed to redefine herself independently of men.

  “I can’t imagine being celibate for that long,” Dimity commented, eyeing the platter of cheeses, olives, and dips in the middle of the table. She was sleek-haired and immaculately made up for the night’s show, rock chic elegance in a silk shirt tucked loosely into leather jeans with a silver-buckled belt, and kick-ass stilettos.

  Lily was conscious of her hair and skin, which still needed the chlorine washed out. Not wanting to miss a minute of playing with the kids, she hadn’t showered when she’d changed, simply thrown on a simple summer dress. Needing another child fix, she glanced at the couch where Rocco and the dog were curled up sleeping. I’ve missed this.

  “On the other hand, if Travis was your last lay it’s not surprising you’re off sex,” Dimity added astutely. “He has a reputation as a sadist.” About to cut herself a wedge of Brie, she froze. “He didn’t hurt you, did he?” Suddenly her cheese knife looked like a murder weapon.

  No more than I let him. Lily shook her head. “I made it clear I wasn’t into kinks or menage.” She sipped her champagne. “You know what the irony is?”

  Her friends shook their heads.

  “I don’t even enjoy watching porn.”

  Kayla choked. Dimity bit her lip.

  Lily said, “Please find it funny,” and they collapsed with laughter. It was so good to make this big ugly thing small with her girlfriends. “The next guy I date will be reliable, dog-loving, children-adoring,” she declared when they’d settled. “Even-tempered, even a little boring.” She’d thought a lot about her perfect match in England. Someone who’d follow her dreams.

  “Except for the boring part, you’re describing Jared and Seth,” Kayla pointed out.

  “Wow, you’re right. Hmm, that is a problem.” Lily kept a straight face. “They’re the gold standard for good men and I don’t find either of them remotely attractive.”

  Dimity rolled her eyes. “Then your hunk-o-meter is way out of whack.”

  “Says the woman who once described Seth as ‘nice, but too safe,’” Kayla fake-whispered behind her hand to Lily.

  “I never revisit my past,” Dimity protested. “Ghosts live there.”

  Lily reached across the table to chink glasses. “To ghost-busting.” Of course all this talk of the perfect man was nonsense Post Sex Tape. What decent guy would be interested in her now? She could already imagine the ‘tell me about yourself’ conversation. “Funny story,” she’d begin. “I once dated a rock star and behaved so badly after he dumped me that I dated a rock ‘n’ roll lowlife who filmed us having sex. And the kicker? I was too high to remember it. Now put that ring on my finger, cutie, introduce me to your folks, and let’s discuss how many kids we’ll have.”

  Oh yeah, I’m a catch.

  She beat off self-pity before it took too big a bite. To hell with you, Travis Calvert, this will not break me. I will not let it. One thing she wouldn’t do? Hide the truth from any man she came to care for. With Zander she’d
pretended to be a rock chick and he’d pretended to believe her. Stormy Hagen, sexy hologram. She’d long forgiven him for breaking her heart but she’d never forgive herself for ceding her self-respect trying to hold his interest. She would never diminish herself for a man again. Or give one such power to hurt her.

  She was suddenly fiercely glad she hadn’t knocked on Moss’s door and pushed herself further into his life. It was important to stay within the boundaries they’d already established.

  “One of Jared’s friends might suit you,” Kayla said thoughtfully. “He’s a keyboardist with—”

  “Uh-uh. No musicians, no photographers, no artistic or creative types. Unless they’re a carpenter. Someone capable of building something that lasts a lifetime.” She kept playing the matchmaking game, recognizing it as a game. Her dreams, close enough to touch a few weeks ago, were now orbiting somewhere south of Mars.

  “In that case you should probably include chefs. Particularly pastry chefs.” Kayla patted her shapely ass. “Their work lives a lifetime on my booty.”

  The three women laughed. Lily thought, I could give up on being loved if I have to—I’ve managed without my whole life after all—as long as I can keep working with kids. Dimity moved to top up her champagne and she covered the rim of her flute. “I’ll be driving Moss later.” A gig night meant a late night—he’d be hyped and ready to party. She yawned on the thought.

  “Not until after midnight,” Dimity pointed out. “That’s hours away.”

  She stifled another yawn. “More alcohol will put me to sleep.”

  “Speaking of Moss.” Kayla leaned closer and lowered her voice. “I always got the impression that he…ouch.” Indignant, she frowned at Dimity. “You stomped on my foot.”

  “Sorry.” She didn’t look sorry. “I wanted to ask if you’d like a top-up.”

  “Sure.” Kayla drained her glass. “Kinda had a crush on you,” she said to Lily.