Hearts Ahoy

by Stephanie Taylor

  Getting back to work was something that took her mind off of how things had ended with Martin, and she’d looked forward to showing up at school the first day back and seeing all the smiling faces she knew would be waiting for her.

  “Mrs. D!” Piper shouted, racing into the room with her long black hair flying. “We missed you SO. MUCH. Wait until you hear about your substitute. Oh. My. God.” She used the over-enunciated and dramatic cadence of a teenage girl, and Julia smothered a smile as she scrawled that day’s agenda on her whiteboard.

  “Piper,” she said, capping the pen and turning around. “I’m so glad to see you, too. And of course I want to hear how things went while I was gone.” Julia walked over to her desk and turned off the radio; her peaceful pre-first period ritual had ended with the arrival of Piper, and, close on her heels, Adrianna and Kylie. Julia sat down and picked up her coffee mug as the girls regaled her with freshman chatter, stories about who had misbehaved for her substitute teacher, and a various assortment of celebrity gossip that appeared to be cobbled together from Instagram and Snapchat.

  “Girls,” she finally said, patting her desk firmly and standing up. “This has been wonderful. I love seeing all your faces first thing in the morning, and I missed everyone terribly.”

  “So, Mrs. Delmonico,” Adrianna said, adjusting the straps of her purple backpack. “Did you find a guy on your trip?” The other girls fell silent and watched Julia’s face. Suddenly she realized how invested they all were in her life, and it was flattering to think that fourteen-year-old girls might be able to see anything at all beyond the ends of their own noses, and that what they’d chosen to rest their gazes on was her boring middle-aged life.

  Julia tried a carefree laugh to see if it would brush off this particular line of questioning, but it fell flat. “Did I meet a guy…” she repeated, turning her gaze to the window that looked out on the wet, green trees beyond. The sky was gray and rainy, and Julia had a bittersweet flashback to the weather and the beauty of the islands. She sighed. “Well, I came home single, so I guess that kind of answers that, doesn’t it?” she asked, walking around her desk and putting one hand on Adrianna’s shoulder and the other on Kylie’s as she steered them toward the classroom door. While Piper was actually in her first period, the other two girls belonged somewhere else.

  “Awww, that sucks!” Kylie said, looking up at her with disappointment.

  “Yeah, but that’s life, isn’t it?” Julia offered. “You win some, you lose some.” Normally she didn’t subscribe to such basic platitudes when dealing with young people, but the combination of the early morning hour and the topic itself were making her feel drained already and the final bell hadn’t even yet rung. “See you ladies in fifth period?”

  “Okay, see you then, Mrs. Del!” Adrianna said, rushing away at the sight of a group of girls she wanted to walk with.

  “Sorry you didn’t meet someone amazing,” Kylie said earnestly, stopping in front of Julia. “I really think you deserve it.” She turned and walked away, shifting her math textbook from one arm to the other as she did.

  Julia watched her and felt a sudden tenderness; this was an age of growth and heartbreak, and while young teenagers could be particularly self-centered, there were moments of clarity where they were able to see the world with such sweet simplicity. She really was glad to be back.

  By the time the final bell rang, almost all the seats were filled in Julia’s classroom and she stood at the board with her coffee in one hand, ready to talk about To Kill a Mockingbird.

  During lunch, Julia was eating her tuna sandwich and drinking a Diet Coke when Jack Nusbaum poked his head into the empty room.

  “Hiya, Julia,” he said. “Welcome back.”

  “Come on in.” Julia stood up and pulled a chair over toward her desk so that Jack could join her.

  “Do you mind?” He held up a paper lunch sack with a sheepish grin. “I was heading to the lunch room, but I heard you on The Matt and Marla Show this morning talking about your trip, and I wanted to stop in and see how it went.”

  “Well, if you heard me on the radio, then you probably already know,” Julia said, holding two hands up, palms to the sky as if that were the entire story.

  She’d agreed to the obligatory follow-up phone call with the morning show, but Julia had told the story in very broad strokes: yes, she’d met a nice man. Yes, they’d had a romantic time in Hawaii. Certainly, there had been moonlit kisses. Oh, for sure they were still in touch.

  That last part hadn’t felt like a total fabrication. After all, she’d sent him a message wishing his family well, and if Martin needed her for anything, Julia was just a phone call away.

  “Yeah, I heard it,” Jack said, taking out a foil-wrapped burrito and focusing on it as he tried to maneuver it so that no sour cream spilled on his necktie. “But I don’t think that’s the whole story.”

  Julia took another bite of tuna on wheat and put a hand over her mouth as she chewed. “Mmmhmm,” she said, nodding and reaching for her can of soda. “Okay, so it’s not the full picture. But close.”

  “What’s his name?”

  “Jack! Come on,” Julia said, trying to wave off the questions and deter further discussion. In a perfect world, Jack would talk about his students or the assembly that was coming up that Friday or really anything other than the cruise.

  Jack shook his head sadly. “Look, Julia. You and I have known each other a long time. I know I’m not like, one of your girlfriends or anything, but we’ve worked closely. I knew Will, and I know how happy you were.”

  The bite of sandwich in Julia’s mouth suddenly felt like glue, and she tried to swallow it. As she sipped her Diet Coke, she nodded. “I was,” she said, when she was finally able to speak again. She set her sandwich down on a napkin.

  “But Julia,” Jack went on, looking at her imploringly. “You got less happy when Will died. I mean—obviously!” he said, his words rushing out as he stumbled to say the right thing. “But I wasn’t sure when I’d see that old Julia smile again. No one knows what it feels like to be you, and no one can say when it’s time to move on or move forward or whatever you want to call it, but if you find someone and you feel a connection…you shouldn’t hold back.”

  Julia watched him with wide eyes. This was more than she’d heard Jack Nusbaum say about something not school-related in all the time she’d known him.

  “I mean it, Julia. Don’t hold back. Life is way too short.” Jack finished his speech and bit into his burrito, chewing as if he hadn’t just said something that carried as much weight as he had.

  “Thanks, Jack,” Julia said. “I mean it.” She watched him eating on the other side of her desk and thought to herself not for the first time how lucky she was—she loved her school, her students, her coworkers—life was good enough as it was, and even if she never met another Martin, she’d had a great time on the cruise. No regrets. “Life is definitely way too short,” she agreed, picking up her sandwich and taking another bite.

  They ate and chatted about school stuff until the bell rang and Julia’s next period of kids ambled in, spreading their cheerful noise and chasing Jack Nusbaum out the door as they took their seats in Mrs. Delmonico’s freshman English class.

  21

  Spring in the Pacific Northwest was rainy and green as it worked its way toward summer. Julia had fully immersed herself in work and life at home when she opened her email on her phone one Saturday morning to find a message from Blaine.

  Hello, darling—

  I hope this finds you well. I don’t normally keep in touch with my on-board charges, but you have a special place in my heart, Mrs. Delmonico! I had two important details I wanted to tell you—well, three. First of all, I met someone. He’s fabulous and we got a condo in Miami together. (Cue the applause!) Secondly, remember Arthur? Your neighbor on the ship? We did another “second chance” cruise about a month after yours and he happened to be on board again. ANYWAY, he and a lovely young lass named Daisy deci
ded to tie the knot, and they had the captain do the honors on the last night. Arthur gave a little speech and said something moving about his “good friend Julia who showed him that it’s never too late to open your heart to finding love again.” Just thought you’d want to know about that. It was very sweet.

  And, lastly, I’m supposed to tell you that the cruise line has chosen you from a random drawing as the recipient of another fabulous vacation. There are a lot of details and they’ll be in touch soon, but I really wanted to be the one to tell you! So congratulations, Julia my dear. Another cruise to an exciting destination awaits you.

  All my very best,

  Your Humble Cupid—Blaine

  Julia read the message again with tears in her eyes. Not because she’d won some mystery cruise in a drawing that she didn’t even remember entering, but because of the part about Arthur and Daisy. And hearing from Blaine wasn’t too shabby either.

  “Mom?” Christina came into the kitchen wearing a beat-up baseball hat and a tank top. “You okay?”

  “Yeah, I’m great,” she said, swiping at the tears that were falling from her eyes. “I’m great.”

  “Carli with an i” followed Christina in from the garage, wearing an oversized t-shirt splattered with paint and a sweaty frown.

  “Thanks again for coming down this weekend to help me plant my garden,” Julia said, smiling at the two young women. She’d been surprised at how easily Carli had melded with their little family, and even though she was taking Christina’s cues and not asking too many questions about their status or where things were going, Julia could clearly see that the two were very fond of one another.

  “No worries, Mom.” Christina watched Julia’s face with concern. “You sure you’re cool?”

  “Oh, yeah,” she reassured her daughter. “I just got an email that surprised me. Apparently I won another cruise.”

  “What?” Christina looked as surprised as Julia felt. “How?”

  Julia shrugged. “I don’t know. It says I was drawn randomly, so…I guess more details are forthcoming and when I get those, I’ll know more.”

  “You’re the luckiest person I know,” Carli said, leaning against the counter with one hip. “Except my uncle Harold. One time he won three scratch-it lottos in a day.” She paused. “The biggest ticket was only twenty dollars, but still.”

  Julia laughed. “Well, three lottery wins in a day does seem pretty lucky.” She closed her email and slipped her phone into her back pocket. “Hey, how about we order pizza for lunch? Sound good?”

  The girls nodded. “Works for me,” Carli said, following Julia and Christina out the back door and into the cool spring sunshine.

  The packet of cruise information arrived in the mail at the beginning of May. Julia pulled out the brochures and the information on the trip at her desk one afternoon following the final bell. She’d been uncertain about taking another cruise, but when she found out that this one was leaving from Seattle the weekend after school let out for the summer and would head up to Alaska for sightseeing, she found herself intrigued.

  Much to her chagrin, it wasn’t a trip for two, and she’d really wanted to take Christina along, but the glossy pictures of the small, well-appointed room and the spa made her think that maybe a solo trip wouldn’t be so bad. Like most teachers, she was getting that end-of-the-year frazzle that made her feel both exhausted and giddy, and the idea of just taking a stack of books and going on a trip with no expectations of finding romance or anything else was looking hugely appealing.

  Julia flipped the desk calendar next to her phone and picked up a red pen. She scrawled “Alaskan Cruise!!!” in the boxes that made up the week of the cruise. Putting the cap back on her pen, she set it in the jar by her tray of student papers to be graded and sat back in her chair, looking out the window at the sunny afternoon.

  Another trip. Another opportunity to see the world on her own and try to get her footing. Yeah, she could do that—why not? Julia smiled as the school’s landscaper rode by on his lawn mower, thick headphones covering his ears, dark glasses over his eyes. He lifted one hand in greeting as he slid past her window and Julia smiled and waved back. Just a few more weeks and she’d hit the road again, this time to fill her own cup and to take one more step in what was shaping up to be a solo journey.

  The ship was smaller than the one she’d taken to Hawaii and the decks were filled with people in windbreakers and sun visors as they watched the Seattle skyline disappear in the distance. Julia breathed in deeply, closed her eyes, and exhaled.

  School had ended as it always did: in a flurry of teary goodbyes, yearbook signatures wishing her young students best wishes for a great summer, and a barbecue in the school courtyard with her coworkers on the last day after the kids were all gone. Everyone seemed surprised that she was off on another cruise so quickly, but she’d assured them all that this time was different; this time was just for her.

  As Julia checked into her room that afternoon she’d looked at the stateroom door next to hers hopefully, wishing just a tiny bit for a neighbor like Arthur. Instead, she smiled to herself as a pair of young newlyweds came out of the room, arms entangled around one another, giggling as they kissed and checked their bags to make sure they had what they needed.

  “Hi,” Julia said as they passed, lifting a hand in greeting and not feeling the least bit surprised when they ignored her entirely. She’d been there—she’d known that kind of all-encompassing love that kept your head in the clouds and your lips as close to those of your lover as humanly possible.

  As she sat down to dinner that night at a small table next to a porthole that looked out at the ocean, the waiter handed her an open menu and bowed slightly at the waist, pouring water into two glasses and turning heel just as quickly to pour water at the next table.

  “Oh, it’s just me—“ Julia said, trying to stop him before he got too far away. Something about seeing the table set for two depressed her in a way that the idea of five days alone on a cruise didn’t. She didn’t mind being alone, but she did mind constant reminders that she was in the minority here, uncoupled as she was.

  Before the waiter could even turn back to her, a man’s hand pulled out the seat across from hers.

  “May I?” he asked.

  Julia looked up, startled. She inhaled sharply.

  “Hi,” Martin said, waiting politely for her to recover. “May I sit with you?”

  Julia felt her face contort into what she imagined to be a comical state of shock. She couldn’t even close her mouth. “Martin,” she finally whispered.

  “I’m going to take that as a yes,” he said, sitting down and sliding his chair closer to the table. “Mainly because I don’t think you’re in any state to start screaming. But once you get your wits about you, if you look like you’re going to yell at me, I’m out of here.” He gave her a lopsided grin that was clearly masking his nervousness—but just barely. “Anyway, hi.”

  Julia picked up her water with a shaky hand and took a sip, crunching on the ice cube that she accidentally sucked in. “Martin…I don’t know what’s going on.” She set down the glass of water and looked around the dining room. No one was even glancing their way. All around them, people consulted menus, ordered wine, and talked quietly over the candles on their tables. To everyone else, they must have looked like a nice middle-aged couple sitting down to dinner on their first night of an Alaskan cruise.

  “I wanted to see you—obviously,” Martin said, reaching across the table and putting his hand on her wrist gently. “A lot of things happened and I didn't want to just send you an email or call…I don’t know. There was just a lot of stuff to wade through.”

  “Wait,” Julia said, pulling her wits about her. “Did you plan this? Did I really win this trip?” It would be funny to her later when she realized how slow she was to understand the situation.

  A smile spread across Martin’s face. “No. I put this together. I wanted to have a do-over. I mean, if you’ll let me,” he add
ed.

  Julia’s face turned incredulous as she spread her palms and glanced around the dining room. “Do I really have a choice, Martin?” she asked, finally finding her voice. “I mean, we’re at sea. Even if I wanted to, where would I go?”

  “I guess you could lock yourself in your room for five days and ignore me.”

  “That sounds like fun.” Julia pulled her wrist away from him gently and rubbed it like he’d been squeezing it hard—which he definitely hadn’t. “But Martin, I’m serious. You could have called or emailed. Texted. Anything. I just wanted to know what was going on.”

  The waiter approached the table again but re-routed himself when he saw the serious looks on Julia’s and Martin’s faces.

  Martin looked at the white tablecloth and let a moment pass before he spoke. “I just wanted to see you in person and try to make up for leaving like I did.”

  Julia tucked a stray piece of hair behind one ear. “I understood you leaving for a family emergency—one hundred percent. But if you were just going to go home and blow me off, then that I don’t understand. I’m a very understanding person. You could have told me what was going on.”

  “That was never my intention to blow you off. I promise you.”

  “Well, that’s kind of what happened,” Julia countered.

  Martin waved a hand back and forth. “Let me begin again.” He looked her squarely in the eye. “My very small granddaughter began to have seizures and no one knew why. Jonathan immediately called his mother, who called me. I felt that it was of the utmost importance to be there for my granddaughter, but also to be there for the son who always felt as if I’d been absent from his life.”

  Julia nodded and picked up her water again. She forced herself to keep her eyes on Martin’s face as he spoke.