The Housewife Is an Immortal Cultivator

by Catofdreams

  Xue Yan shook her head out of disapproval.

  "That name is too ugly. From now on, call yourselves: 'The Lang Jie Fanclub'", Xue Yan put her phone back in her pockets.

  "And also, this Venerable One will be the leader of Lang Jie Fanclub, understood?", Xue Yan gave them all a serious look.

  They all nodded their heads in agreement, not that they could contest it. At least they get to keep their lives.

  "If that is all, oh Venerable One… we will take our leave.", the large man bowed once again towards Xue Yan, who only nodded in response and made her way back to the kitchen. They all left the house, and as soon as they stepped out of the house, they all started running away as fast as they could. They didn't want to be caught in another disaster.

  "Mere insects dare to ruin this Venerable One's evening… hmph…", Xue Yan mumbled as she continued cooking.

  As soon as she finished, she suddenly heard the doorbell ring. Her expression immediately became brighter as she quickly made her way towards the door.

  As she opened the door, her eyes turned into hearts as she saw the man who was standing outside.

  It was none other than her husband, Lang Jie.

  "Darling! I missed you so much!", Xue Yan leaped towards her husband and hugged her as tightly as she could.

  "H-honey…! You're strangling me!", Lang Jie tapped Xue Yan's back, urging her to let go.

  "Ah! Sorry, darling!", Xue Yan immediately let go, but then she started attaching herself to his right arm.

  "I've prepared food! Let's eat together!", Xue Yan happily led her husband towards the dining area.

  "You're as strong as ever… Are you sure you don't do any exercise?", Lang Jie felt sore from the hug that Xue Yan gave him.

  "Of course not!", Xue Yan smiled at him.

  "I'm just a normal housewife!"

  And that is the daily life of a normal husband, and his wife, who is secretly an immortal cultivator.

  CHAPTER 2 – “DON’T RUIN A HOUSEWIFE’S VACATION MOOD!”

  "Lang Jie, darling… it's been a while since we've gone on a date!", Xue Yan could barely contain her happiness as she leaned on her husband's shoulder.

  "This is for all the times I made you lonely at home, honey!", Lang Jie responded.

  The two of them were on their way towards a hot spring resort. Lang Jie was excited to go on a trip since work had been extremely hectic. Xue Yan, on the other hand, couldn't care less where they were going, as long as she was together with her husband

  "We need to stop by somewhere to get some gas.", Lang Jie told Xue Yan, who was still leaning on his shoulder.

  "Sure!", Xue Yan cheerfully responded.

  After driving for a while, they finally found a gas station. It was one of those stations that had a garage and a convenience store.

  "What'll it be, boss?", a worker came up to them as Lang Jie parked his car beside the gas pump.

  "Premium gas, just fill it up.", Lang Jie responded.

  "Right away, boss!", the worker immediately went to work and started pouring gas into the car.

  Xue Yan was still busy leaning on Lang Jie and enjoying as much of his shoulder as she could, after all, Lang Jie was always busy at work. For her, the time she has with him in the morning was too short, and she couldn't bear to disturb him at night when he was tired.

  As much as she wanted to relax, as an immortal, her senses were incredibly sharp. She could hear a conversation going on inside the convenience store.

  "Bring out all the money you have, or else I'll shoot!"

  "Please, don't! I'm bringing it out!"

  "Don't try anything funny, unless you want to sleep forever!"

  She took a peek through the window of the convenience store, and sure enough, two tough-looking guys were in front of the register. From the angle she was looking at, there was nothing wrong, but because of the conversation, Xue Yan was sure that it was a robbery.

  "Hmph, karma will deal with you two.", Xue Yan muttered to herself.

  "Hmm? Honey? Did you say anything?", Lang Jie asked her.

  "No, darling! Nothing!", Xue Yan once again became cheerful and continued rubbing her cheeks on Lang Jie's shoulder.

  "Ah! Stay here. I have to buy something at the convenience store.", Lang Jie opened the door. As he took a step outside, Xue Yan immediately stopped him by clinging onto his arm.

  "W-wait! Let me do it, darling!", Xue Yan pulled him back into the car.

  "You should stay here and rest! You've been driving for more than an hour! Let me go instead!", Xue Yan tried to convince Lang Jie.

  "Okay! Just get me something to drink. You can take whatever you want as well.", Lang Jie responded as he handed his wife some money.

  "Okay, darling! I'll be right back.", Xue Yan smiled at her husband as she got off the car and walked towards the convenience store.

  She opened the door, which made a ringing sound from the bell on top of the door. The two rough men immediately looked at the entrance to see who it was. If it was just a random stranger, they were just going to hide the robbery. If the stranger were to notice though, they would have to threaten him as well.

  As soon as they saw Xue Yan, the two robbers immediately blushed. She was the most beautiful woman they had ever seen. The daylight from outside the store looked like a spotlight that was shining on her from the angle they were looking at.

  Xue Yan ignored them and made her way towards the cooler, looking for a cold beverage that would satisfy her husband.

  "B-brother… we should take her as well.", one of the robbers whispered to the other, who simply nodded in response. They couldn't just let a beautiful woman such as Xue Yan go. They were already doing an evil act, what's wrong with doing another one then?

  Xue Yan sighed after hearing the conversation between the two robbers. She went to the register and put a can of cola on the countertop.

  *CLICK*

  One of the robbers pointed a gun directly towards Xue Yan's head.

  "If you don't want to get hurt, come with us.", one of the robbers threatened her.

  "Don't worry, sister. We'll show you a great time! Hehe…", the other one added.

  Xue Yan simply sighed in response. She ignored the two robbers and smiled towards the man handling the register.

  "How much is it?", Xue Yan asked the man, who immediately blushed and seemed to have forgotten that he was getting robbed.

  The two robbers just watched Xue Yan purchase the item. As she thanked the man behind the register and turned around, it was only then that they realized that they were ignored.

  "Y-you! How dare you ignore us!", the robber raised his arm, about to bash Xue Yan with the gun's handle.

  "Miss! Watch out!", the man behind the register shouted in order to warn Xue Yan, but he felt that his warning was a bit too late. In his eyes, the beautiful woman was about to be brutally hit by the robber.

  It was then that the unexpected happened.

  In the blink of an eye, the skirt that the woman's dress seemed to flutter in the air as if she made some kind of movement. The robber's head tilted a bit to the side as he fell on the ground, completely unconscious, while Xue Yan was standing there, completely unscathed. Both of her hands were holding the plastic bag containing the can of soda that she had purchased.

  The normal human eye couldn't catch the movement that she just did, but as the robber tried to hit her, she cleanly hit the man's chin with a swift kick. She tried to minimize her movements in order to keep the can of cola still. After all, she didn't want her husband to be drenched in cola when he opened it.

  "W-what…?", the other robber could only look at what just happened in confusion. His brother fell to the ground, as if his soul just suddenly left his body.

  But he had to get himself together. His brother had already fallen. He had to finish the job that the two of them started.

  As Xue Yan was about to leave the store, the man quickly took the gun off his fallen comrade's hand and pointed it towards
her.

  "Don't move!", he exclaimed while pointing the gun straight towards Xue Yan. His entire body was trembling. It was the first time he had held a gun. He had always left all of the violent stuff to his brother.

  Xue Yan clicked her tongue out of anger. She tried to hold all of her anger inside the entire time so that she would remember the entire day as a happy occasion. She wanted the day to be perfect, but some people wanted to disturb her happiness.

  She slowly put down the plastic bag she was holding and slowly approached the robber.

  "I said don't move! Don't come any closer!", the man trembled as Xue Yan approached him. He didn't want to stain his hands with blood, but it seemed like this time, he had to. He couldn't let his brother's sacrifice go to waste.

  As he was about to pull the trigger, Xue Yan suddenly appeared right before him, as if she teleported. She was clearly a few feet away just a second ago, but in a blink of an eye, she was now face-to-face with the robber.

  She put her hand on the gun's barrel and crushed it as if it was nothing. She pulled it out of his hand and smacked him on the cheek with it as strong as she could.

  The strength of a normal human would simply have made the man do a spin before falling to the ground unconscious. The strength of an average cultivator would have sent the man flying for a second. But Xue Yan was no average cultivator.

  As she swung the gun by the barrel, the material of the gun couldn't handle the sheer force of her grip. The gun snapped into two just like a twig, so the only thing that hit the man was her fist, but even so, the damage she dealt was no laughing matter.

  The man flew to the side as soon as her fist made contact with his cheek. As he was in the air, he was spinning at an astonishing speed. He looked like a ballerina doing a Plié, but sideways… and in the air. Some pieces of teeth seemed to fly off as well.

  The intense spin that the man's body did seemed to have an effect on the interaction between his body and the wall. The body was supposed to hit the wall and fall down on the ground, but because of the speed at which he was spinning, his body pierced the wall instead, just like a spinning drill.

  The wall cracked, and half of the man's body went through the wall, and half was still inside the store. He groaned out of pain for a while before going unconscious.

  Xue Yan gave out another sigh, as if letting out the last of her frustrations. She approached the man behind the register, who was shaking in fear after watching everything that just happened. The woman in front of her looked like an angel when she entered the store, but when she hit the robber, her face was like that of a demon.

  Xue Yan took her wallet out and handed the man over the register a business card.

  "Please contact us in regards to the payment for damages. I'll pay for reparations.", Xue Yan smiled at the man while holding a business card.

  The man looked around to see how much damage was dealt to the store. The wall to the right side of the store had cracks running all over and a hole large enough for a man to fit.

  "O-okay…", the man accepted the business card.

  "And, of course, please keep everything that happened a secret!", Xue Yan smiled at him and gave him a wink before leaving the store. The man's feeling of fear immediately turned into one of adoration. The image of the woman's face being like a demon immediately disappeared from his mind. All he could remember was an angel beating up the forces of evil.

  The man stared at the business card for a long time, trying to figure out what kind of woman was capable of such feats.

  "Lang Jie Fanclub President Xue Yan…", the man read the caption on the business card as he watched Xue Yan walk away.

  "What took you so long, honey?", Lang Jie asked as Xue Yan entered the car.

  "Oh, it's nothing, darling!", Xue Yan once again smiled as she saw her husband's face. She went back to rubbing her cheeks against his shoulder and handed him over a bottle of soda.

  "Oh… I thought something happened. I heard something rumble inside the store earlier.", Lang Jie sighed out of relief as he started driving once again.

  "I'm fine, darling! Even if I was in danger, I'm sure you'd save me!", Xue Yan happily told Lang Jie, who laughed in response.

  "I'll try, but you shouldn't expect much! I'm not very fit anymore due to work!", he responded.

  "Don't worry darling! You're always there when I need you, so I always feel safe!", Xue Yan continued to flatter her husband, who blushed out of embarrassment.

  "Speaking of trouble… I just realized that ever since I met you, I haven't run into any major trouble.", Lang Jie told his wife.

  "It's as if you are a lucky charm! Or maybe you're actually a super human who fixed all of my problems for me!", Lang Jie laughed as he made that joke.

  "You also never seem to be in trouble… not that it's a bad thing, of course!", he added.

  Xue Yan gulped as he heard her husband's words.

  'Did he find out?! Did this Venerable One leave any evidence?! Was I too obvious?!'

  Xue Yan started panicking. At what point did she mess up? Is Lang Jie going to hate her after finding out who she was? Her thoughts were filled with despair, but then she saw her husband's smiling face. She then realized that her husband was just making a joke. She sighed out of relief and continued indulging herself on her husband's shoulder.

  "Darling, I don't ever recall having to help you with any problem.", Xue Yan told him in response.

  "In fact, you were always the one helping me out!", she added. A bigger smile was plastered on her face as she recalled the memories she had of her husband.

  Lang Jie thought about the times were he had helped her out. He was always busy, so he couldn't be with Xue Yan all the time. When they were together, nothing seemed to happen. The only time he could remember helping her was…

  "Oh, I remember that one time! When we first met!", Lang Jie realized that he did indeed spot her in trouble after all, but it was only once.

  Xue Yan smiled as she remembered the first time they met.

  It was almost six years ago. Xue Yan was about to face the Heavenly Tribulation. Her cultivation had reached great peaks. Masters all over the world could only dream to attain the level of power she had.

  As Xue Yan sat on the peak of a mountain in Kunlun, dark clouds started to gather above her. Thunder roared in the skies, the sound stronger than any roar of thunder that man has ever heard. After all, this was the first time a human has ascended to the immortal stage.

  Xue Yan was already prepared to receive the Tribulation, when suddenly; a group of martial artists had come to ambush her.

  "Xue Yan! Today is the day you will fall!", an elderly man stepped forward. The group that ambushed her seemed to be ready for battle.

  "Who are you? And why are you doing this?", Xue Yan calmly asked the group who ambushed her.

  "You do not need to know who we are. We are here to stop you from ascending. If you ascend, the balance of power in the world will break. We can not have one person stand above the world.", the elderly man responded.

  "If you wish to stop me, then come.", Xue Yan stood up and got ready for battle.

  Thunder continued roaring, and then rain started pouring.

  "Ah… I come out here to go sightseeing, and now it suddenly rains.", a young man was happily appreciating the view from one of the mountains in the Kunlun Mountain Range.

  The sky was definitely clear as he was ascending, but as soon as he found a spot to appreciate the view, dark clouds suddenly formed in the skies.

  "The forecast said that it was going to be a sunny day too… I guess they're wrong again.", the young man sighed as he quickly but carefully made his way back.

  *BOOM*

  A large streak of thunder lit up the skies.

  "Give up now Xue Yan! We're doing this for the sake of the world's balance!", the elderly man tried to talk it out with the woman in front of him. Many of his comrades had already fallen. He himself was also injured, and he was sure that the other mar
tial artists that were still standing with him were already worn out as well.

  "Forgive me, but I can not give up my life so easily.", she responded. She was also heavily injured. The martial artists weren't the only problem she had. Every now and then, the thunder from the skies would strike her, dealing heavy damage.

  "Impudent!", the elderly man attacked Xue Yan, together with the other martial artists.

  The skies above them roared, ready to strike down Xue Yan with more thunder.