Finding Faith

by Anthony Lampe

  It was late as Jessica pulled her blue convertible in front of Angela’s house.

  During the drive there, they had chatted about Angela’s background in ballet, and how excited the squad was to have a new teammate. After her performance in the gym, several of the cheerleaders had congratulated Angela and told her how talented she was. The boost in morale really made her feel appreciated.

  When Jessica had asked her where she lived, and Angela said her address in Bottom Grove, the head cheerleader had winced. She stated that it was too bad she lived in such a poor neighborhood among less respected families. The comments had made Angela feel embarrassed.

  When the car stopped, Angela got out and said with genuine warmth, “Thank you for the ride.”

  “Well,” Jessica began as she scanned the area with a wary eye, “I can’t say it’s too close to my house in Upper Grove Heights, but I can give you rides home after our cheerleading practices if you’d like.”

  “That would be wonderful,” Angela said in surprise. “I really appreciate it.”

  “Anything for a fellow cheerleader,” Jessica replied. “Speaking of that, practices are everyday after school.”

  “When do they start?” Angela asked with anticipation and apprehension.

  “Tomorrow,” Jessica stated eagerly. She rubbed her hands together as though she could barely wait.

  “Okay, sounds good.”

  “Oh, and don’t worry,” Jessica said as she motioned around her, “I won’t tell the other girls that you live in Bottom Grove. It’ll be our little secret.”

  Angela frowned, and then nodded uncomfortably. As Jessica waved and pulled away, Angela waved back and walked towards the derelict home. She was not happy that Jessica looked down upon where she lived, not just for the appearance of the house, but because of the neighborhood. Although, it did not seem to affect how Jessica thought of Angela. She genuinely seemed to care about her wellbeing. It wasn’t as though the neighborhood was a safe one either. Angela peered around her and made a dash to the front.

  When she began up the creaking stairs, the porch light flickered on and the front door swung open. Andrew held the screen door as she entered, and closed it behind them. Despite it being hours after school ended, Angela looked as though she just got off the bus. Her blue shirt, khakis pants and backpack reminded Andrew of their conversation in the hallway earlier that day.

  “Did you have fun with your friends?” Andrew asked both curious and uncaring to hear how great a time she had.

  “Yes,” she replied happily, “it was exciting.”

  “Good,” he said. “Uncle Billy decided to eat at a buffet restaurant tonight, so he left out a box of macaroni for us.”

  “Such a gentleman,” she said sarcastically.

  “My thoughts exactly. I already finished my homework, so I’ll make dinner if you want to start your homework.”

  “That’s nice of you,” Angela said with a smile. “Okay then, I’ll be upstairs.”

  As Andrew headed to the kitchen, Angela went to her room. She closed the door, rested the backpack on the bed and started unzipping it. She then pulled out a blue Grove High cheerleader uniform and held it up.

  “At least I get to dance again,” she told herself as she tried to ease the strong feeling of guilt that was welling up in her.

  She then hung the outfit in the back of her closet. Returning to the backpack, she pulled out her science textbook and went to the desk to read. She turned on her clock radio and soothing classical music reminded her of the cheerleading audition.

  Down in the kitchen, Andrew waited as a pot of water boiled on the stove. Once again he thought about the conversation he had with Angela in the school hallway. It had made him feel lonely when he realized that his sister was going to hang out with new friends when he had to spend the evening at the house with Uncle Billy.

  I can’t believe she has friends already, Andrew thought. And, what could she have done after school that was so exciting?

  To distract him from his curiosity and loneliness, he went over to an under-the-counter radio and turned it on. The rock music that played must have been what his uncle liked listening to. The music sounded older, somewhat edgy, but the tune was generally interesting. The longer he heard the lyrics, the more he realized what they were saying. It appeared that the singer was venting about an ex-girlfriend and looking for a new one. Andrew shook his head, almost turned off the radio, but then let it play. As his thoughts wandered, his eyes did too. It wasn’t long before they rested on the posters of the skimpily clad women on the refrigerator. Andrew felt his pulse accelerate, but he allowed himself a few extra seconds of staring before he tore his gaze off them. The picture remained in his head as though it had been burned there.

  A short time later, Angela heard her brother call out that dinner was ready. As she came downstairs, it sounded like music was playing, but the kitchen was silent when she entered it. Angela washed her hands while Andrew set two plates of food on the table. She then took a seat and placed her hands together.

  As she closed her eyes and was ready to say grace for them, she heard a metal fork tap against a ceramic plate. She opened her eyes in surprise and saw that Andrew was already munching on the macaroni.

  “Weren’t we going to say a prayer?” Angela asked in disbelief.

  “Oh,” he replied trying to stay nonchalant. “I was debating that earlier.”

  Angela placed her hands on the table. “Debating? We always pray before meals. What’s there to debate about?” Incredulity colored her voice.

  “Just that last night Uncle Billy gave us trouble,” Andrew began defensively, “and today at lunch, some of the guys, well, never mind. In any event, I just think that maybe we should just pray silently, or when we feel the need to.”

  “I can’t believe what I’m hearing,” Angela said sounding just like their mom.

  Andrew struggled to respond, unsure if he should apologize or stand firm on his decision. They always said grace as a family. When their parents were around, everyone would take turns saying a prayer for them. The prayers were personal, meaningful, and inspirational.

  We always prayed before meals, Andrew thought sadly, when our parents were around. He then continued to eat without taking the time to pray. No more family. What was the point for prayers? Praying wouldn’t bring back his family, but not praying would bring him a new family of friends.

  “Suit yourself,” Angela stated her voice heavy with reproach. “I for one believe in thanking God.”

  Andrew’s face reddened in anger as he pushed back his chair, stood up and stormed out of the room. Angela sat there in shock as she heard heavy footsteps go up to the second floor. She had the urge to go to her brother and say she was sorry for her harsh words. But, as she started to press down on the table for support, she sank back into the chair instead.

  I’m not his mom, Angela thought, her ire getting back up. I’m not going to put up with his tantrums.

  She brushed off the idea of apologizing, said grace, and then ate her macaroni, which by then, had gone cold.

  Andrew had slammed his bedroom door shut and paced around the room. He fought back his feelings while trying to sort out his mixed thoughts. After minutes of walking back and forth, he nearly got down on his knees and prayed about everything. About not saying grace, about what Angela said, and about what he was going to do next. Instead of dwelling on it any further, he turned on his clock radio and let the rock music distract him.

  When Angela had finished eating and doing all the dishes alone, she headed to her room. Walking past Andrew’s door, she heard the unsettling music, but decided not to interrupt him.

  The next morning, she awoke and had hoped Andrew would have made breakfast like he said he would. She was frustrated to see her brother crunching on the last bowl of cereal as she walked in the kitchen.

  “It was your turn to make breakfast,” she said pointedly.

  “
I made dinner last night,” Andrew bluntly retorted. “Besides, I’m making the sacrifice and eating this junk. There is box of pancake mix you can mess around with.”

  “Fine,” Angela stonily agreed. “Then don’t expect me to make it anymore.”

  “Can you two pipe it down and let me get some sleep?” Uncle Billy shouted from a bedroom down the first floor hallway.

  Andrew stared at his sister and muttered, “Billy’s cranky. I think he got home really late last night.”

  “From a buffet?” Angela questioned innocently.

  “I’m not sure eating was all he was out doing last night,” he replied darkly.

  Dropping the subject, they went back to their rooms to get dressed for school. When they finally left out the front door, Andrew wore a solid black t-shirt and jeans, while Angela had a modest white blouse and a medium length skirt.

  “Dressing up today?” Andrew asked as he eyed her skeptically.

  “Well,” she replied in annoyance, “I thought it would be better than dressing down.”

  Andrew took the jab and smirked.

  As they got onto the school bus, Angela followed her brother down the aisle. He noticed Shawn at the very back, so he walked ahead and joined him. Angela frowned at the thought of sitting alone everyday on the ride to school, but then saw Melissa.

  “Is this seat taken?” Angela asked politely as she gestured to the empty seat beside the girl.

  “Yes,” Melissa said firmly with a stern face. She then giggled and admitted, “I saved it for you.”

  Angela rolled her eyes and took a seat.

  Shawn turned to Andrew and asked, “So, my man, what have you decided? You want to hang with the boys?”

  “I thought it over,” Andrew said. “I’m in.”

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