Finding Faith

by Anthony Lampe

  On the drive home, Andrew reflected upon how different he now felt, like a heavy weight had been lifted. He thought it was amazing that the one time he finally decided to go to Mass again, the gospel reading was about the prodigal son.

  It’s not a coincidence, Andrew thought with a grin, it’s a sign.

  Senior Counselor Robertson glanced over at Andrew and smiled. “I’m glad you accompanied me to Mass today. Would you like to go with me again next week?”

  “Yes, please.” Andrew was anxious never to purposely miss Mass again. “I would really like that, thank you.”

  Robertson barely spoke the rest of the drive home, which Andrew was grateful for. It gave him time to reflect back on the momentous change that had just occurred in his life. I believe in God again.

  Soon, the car pulled up by the curb in front of his house. Andrew got out of the car and his counselor waved. “I’ll see you in school tomorrow. Take care.”

  While Counselor Robertson drove off, Andrew began walking towards his house. When a blue sports car came into view at the end of the street, Andrew froze.

  That’s Carson, Andrew thought in dismay, and my sister.

  As the vehicle pulled up to the curb, it confirmed his suspicion. Carson got out of the car and opened the door for Angela, who seemed annoyed by Andrew staring at them. Carson glanced at Andrew, and smirked. He then kissed Angela on the cheek and they walked hand in hand towards the house.

  No, Andrew could barely contain his fury, why are you letting him kiss you?

  Andrew had to bite his tongue to avoid saying anything unkind. As they approached him, Andrew forced a smile. “Hello.”

  Angela motioned with her head for Andrew to leave them and go inside. When he stayed there, she narrowed her eyes.

  “Hey Andrew.” Carson’s voice was noticeably cool. “It’s been a while, huh?”

  “It has.”

  Angela turned to Carson and brushed her hand against his arm. “I’ll see you later.”

  Carson leaned forward and kissed her on the cheek. Andrew had to restrain himself yet again. Carson smiled roguishly. “Have a great day, sweetie.”

  Angela smiled at Carson, all the while ignoring her brother, and headed inside.

  When she closed the door, Carson immediately stepped closer to Andrew and raised his fist. “We took you in, we let you hang out with us, and how did you repay us?”

  Andrew was blindsided by his words. “Look, I would like to apologize—”

  “Apologize?” Carson spat as he tore his hands through his hair in frustration. “You ratted on Darren and got him kicked out of school. He was applying for football scholarships for colleges, but no school is going to give him one now.”

  “I’m sorry.” Andrew genuinely was sorry, but it still didn’t change the actual circumstances. “But he got himself expelled.”

  “Without Darren, our team lost the playoffs. No college will want to give me a football scholarship either. Not a really good school.”

  “That’s too bad.” Andrew reached out and grasped Carson’s shoulder. “Listen, we’ve all made mistakes, and I’d like to get past it all.”

  Carson shrugged his hand off roughly. “Why? Getting lonely at school since no one will talk to you now?”

  “You and the guys didn’t have to spread lies about what happened that night.” Andrew tried to stay calm, but it was difficult not to lose his cool. What would Jesus do? “But, I forgive you for it.”

  “Well, I don’t forgive you,” Carson replied angrily, “and neither will anyone else.”

  Andrew was purposely waiting to bring up the subject of his sister, but it seemed there would be no good opportunity with the way the conversation was going. “Carson, can we talk about my sister for a moment?”

  His former friend raised an eyebrow and smirked.

  “Yeah? You want to talk about Angela? Okay.”

  “With you dating Angela,” Andrew struggled to keep his voice level and respectful, “I’d just like to know what your intentions are with her.”

  “My intentions?” Carson snickered. “We’re just two people having fun, you know? But, we’ll see where things go.”

  “What do you mean by that?” Andrew crossed his arms and stared hard at Carson.

  “Angela is a very special girl,” Carson replied. He then leaned over and grinned evilly. “She’s a very good kisser too—among other things.”

  Andrew took a step closer as he felt fury course through his body. “You’re lying.”

  “Wouldn’t you like to know?”

  Feeling frustrated and enraged, Andrew looked Carson straight in the eyes. “I don’t want you seeing her anymore.”

  “I don’t care.” Carson retorted bluntly. “I don’t need your permission. She’s my girl, and I can do whatever I want with her.”

  Carson’s crooked grin taunted him, but he did not want to give in to his anger. Andrew stood his ground and tried to regain control of the situation. “Angela deserves respect.”

  “Whatever. I don’t have any more time to waste on a creep like you.” Carson shoved Andrew to the side roughly as he walked back to his sports car. In no time he had gotten inside and sped off recklessly down the street.

  Andrew shook his head in disbelief and went into the house. He headed upstairs to his room, shut the door and blasted his MP3 player through the clock radio speakers. As the heavy music began, Andrew hoped that it would drown out his worries. But, once the lyrics started, he recalled the offensive words and the message of the song. He remembered his confession less than an hour before that, and what the priest had said.

  Guard your eyes, your ears, and your heart in every way. If there is something in your life that comes between you and God, you should cast it away.

  Before the first curse word could play through the speakers, Andrew rushed over and yanked the MP3 player out of the radio. As the room went silent, he stared down at the small unit in his now shaky hands and thought of all the trouble the music on it had caused. He had been falling back on that music for far too long, letting the provocative lyrics influence his life and hurt his relationships with those he loved.

  It’s just music, he then thought. It’s just fun.

  “No.” Andrew felt overwhelmed as the revelation swept over him. “It’s sin.”

  With one last look at the MP3 player, Andrew held it tight and then threw it against the wall. The unit instantly broke and the pieces fell to the floor.

  It’s time to change, Andrew thought with fervor as his new resolution took hold of him.

  He walked over and collected the remains of the MP3 player and tossed it into a trash can. As he smiled, he heard the priest’s words in his head yet again.

  Seek purity in all aspects of your life. Music and movies with messages against God and His people, especially women, should be avoided. Guard your eyes, your ears, and your heart in every way.

  Andrew was fired up with his renewed conscience and the willpower to change. He looked around his room in search of other things that would tempt him to think impure thoughts, and stood between him and God.

  His eyes fixed upon a poster on his wall of a teenage celebrity from a movie he once watched. Her suggestive clothing and pose made Andrew’s decision easy. He tore the poster from the wall, ripped it up and tossed it in the trash can. He then walked over to his closet and browsed over a small secret movie collection he had hidden away. As he looked at the ratings and recalled scenes of sexuality, cursing, and extensive violence, Andrew decided to discard them all.

  When Andrew was satisfied, he brought his trash can to the kitchen, dumped its contents into a black bag and then tossed it into the waste can outside. Coming back into the kitchen his eyes were drawn to the swimsuit model posters on the refrigerator. I might not be able to change Billy, but junk like that does not belong here or anywhere. I don’t need to be tempted by that any longer and I don’t need it here to make my sister fee
l degraded either. Feeling strong and ready to take any consequences from it, Andrew quickly tore the posters down and threw them into the trash can outside. He then brought his waste can back to his room, and as he set it down, he peered at the television his uncle had given him.

  I never should have demanded that, Andrew thought uncomfortably. I can’t keep it.

  He unplugged the television, took it downstairs and set it in front of Uncle Billy’s door. Andrew then went to the kitchen, wrote a note, and stuck it on the TV.

  Andrew had spent most of the afternoon cleansing his bedroom. While checking the closet more thoroughly, he found a Catholic Bible that his parents had once given him. Now that he was done purifying his room’s contents, he opened the Bible and began reading it.

  As the sun set and he grew hungry, Andrew headed into the kitchen for dinner. At first, he was going to only make something for himself, but upon thinking about everything, he decided that he would prepare enough for everyone.

  He set the table as the pasta finished cooking, and when everything was ready, he went upstairs. He knocked on his sister’s door and he waited.

  As Angela opened the door, she sniffed the air and asked, “Is that spaghetti?”

  “Yes,” Andrew replied with a genuine smile. “Would you like to join me for this evening’s dollar store dinner made especially by yours truly?”

  Angela gave him a skeptical look.

  “What’s the catch?”

  “Nothing, I just thought it’d be nice to eat as a family.”

  His sister bit her lip as she struggled to make her mind up. “You know spaghetti’s my favorite right?”

  “I know,” Andrew said with a grin.

  She smiled. “Well, what are we waiting for? Let’s eat.”

  They headed downstairs and when they took their seats at the table, Andrew placed his hands together and looked at his sister. She raised an eyebrow, then placed her hands together as well.

  “Lord,” Andrew began, “thank you for this food before us, and for this beautiful day. Thank you for all the many blessings in our lives, especially for the love of family. Thank you for this time that we may share together and for all that you have provided for us. In Jesus’ name we pray, Amen.”

  After they did the sign of the cross, Angela stared at him for a moment, trying to read his thoughts. When she could not figure out his motives, she began to eat.

  “This is really good.” Angela sighed happily.

  “Thank you.”

  When they were done, Andrew offered to clean the dishes. While finishing them, he heard the front door open, then close. Uncle Billy walked towards the hallway, and stopped briefly at the kitchen door.

  “Would you like to eat some spaghetti?” Andrew asked.

  “No.” Billy growled. “I’m going out again.”

  He then turned and went to his bedroom. A moment later, he called out in surprise, “What? Andrew, come here.”

  Andrew knew exactly what Billy was concerned about. He quickly rounded the corner and reached his uncle. “Yes?”

  Uncle Billy pointed to the television on the floor and then held up Andrew’s note. “What is this about? Now, you don’t want it?”

  “I’m sorry for asking for it.” Andrew forced himself to stand straight and stare directly into Billy’s eyes. “It was wrong of me.”

  Billy shook his head. “That’s nuts. Suit yourself, kid. I’m not going to argue with a lunatic.”

  He entered his room, and then returned to the hallway. He closed his door, lifted the television and started towards the front door.

  “I’m going to give it to my girlfriend,” Uncle Billy muttered. “Maybe she’ll appreciate it more than you did. You ungrateful brat.”

  As his uncle went outside and shut the front door, Andrew returned to the kitchen and packed away the leftover spaghetti.

  “What’s he mad about?” Angela asked in confusion.

  “I gave him back the TV.”

  “I don’t get it.” Angela stared at him puzzled. “And, why did you make us dinner?”

  “I thought it’d make you happy,” Andrew replied honestly.

  Angela’s confused expression changed to that of anger. “Wait a minute. I know what you’re doing, but it’s not going to work.”

  “What?”

  “You spoke to Carson about me, didn’t you?”

  Andrew was confused as to where she was heading with all this. “Well, yes, but—”

  “Are you trying to break us up?”

  He was not sure the best way to answer the question, and judging by the look in her eyes, things were about to get worse.

  “Carson is not a very respectful guy.” Andrew was unsure of the best way to handle the situation. “He’s just dating you for fun. To him, you’re probably just another girlfriend.”

  Angela remembered how Jessica had spoken about her ex-boyfriends like they were all expendable and just for fun, nothing serious. The thought of her being used by Carson made her furious. “How can you speak about Carson like that? You talk about respect? You’re the one who talked dirty about us cheerleaders. You have no room to preach about respect.”

  With that said, Angela stormed out of the room and went upstairs.

  I made you dinner, Andrew thought. How could this blow up in my face? It was a kind gesture.

  Andrew headed upstairs and when he saw that Angela’s bedroom door was closed, he went to his room. He paced around in circles as he tried to think.

  I’m trying to protect her from Carson, he thought, but she’s just pushing me away.

  Unsure of what to do, Andrew kneeled down on the floor and prayed. As he spoke to God, Andrew came to realize one thing. If he truly wanted to strengthen his relationship with Angela and win back her trust and respect, he would still need to work on his relationship with God. He would have to prove that he had changed, not solely by his words, but by his actions.

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