I arched a brow. “Seems fate is ahead of you concerning your relationship status.”
He boxed me in the side, then grinned. “That would be one hell of a story to tell. Her mixing up numbers and us falling in love over it. Almost better than yours.”
I just arched a brow. “No love story is better than mine.”
He huffed. “Fact.”
I glanced at my watch and he grinned. “Are you excited?”
I nodded. “For her, yes, even though it’s still a few hours. I wish I could see her face.”
Back home there was a surprise waiting for Kate. Well, it would be waiting in a few hours, and I had high hopes that this would make things a little easier for her. We’d emailed back and forth for the last few days, and it made my heart a little lighter, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t worried, wasn’t missing her like crazy.
I also had asked again for pictures of her Christmas decoration, and she’d avoided that. It was that which caused me to hope that today would make a change in her and her mood. I wanted Kate happy, even if it wasn’t with me around.
Kate
Just like I’d promised Blue, I was at the fair with Lottie. The mood was jolly, people extra friendly, and I actually enjoyed the mulled wine. It gave me a slight buzz, making me feel more relaxed than I had in weeks.
With Blue emailing me whenever he could, I also felt as if he was just at the base down in Georgia, and not out of the country. Maybe it was dumb, but that thought was more comforting.
A closer distance felt like the easier thing to handle.
“Come on, there’s a Christmas karaoke competition going on, and some of the singers are really good!” Lottie grabbed my hand, dragging me along, and I had to say I was surprised about the crowd that had gathered. Instead of watching though, I turned away and looked at the people. I knew some, but it seemed that every town in a fifty-mile radius had decided to come over.
I wondered if all those people holding on to their partners felt for them the same way I felt for Blue. And because I was lost in thoughts, it took me a moment to realize that my name was being called.
From up ahead.
“This is for a very special lady that’ll have to endure me over the Christmastime now. Katecia, where are you?”
I spun, nervous despite knowing that this wasn’t Blue’s voice.
The guy started to sing “Driving Home for Christmas,” and it was the worst version I’d ever heard—still, when I finally got a good look at him, I started to cry instantly.
Pushing through the crowd, I didn’t care who got hit by my elbows, or whose feet I stepped on.
“Jackson!”
He looked up, and when he finally spotted me, he dropped his mic, jumped off the stage, and this time people parted, letting him through.
Soldiers probably always would have a bonus.
I jumped into his arms and he squeezed me tight, holding on to me. I inhaled, and although he smelled of sand and sun, there was something utterly familiar about his scent. “Welcome home, brother!”
He nodded, squeezing me tighter. It had been months since I’d last seen him, mainly because his base was in California and he’d been on deployment lately, but that didn’t mean he was a stranger to me now.
I still sobbed when he finally put me on my own two feet, the people around us applauding. He’d been to Camden a few times before, always very brief visits, but of course, people from here knew him.
After all, I was proud of my brother and never stopped talking about him. Besides, he and Blue were close, which was the best thing I could wish for.
“What are you doing here?”
He brushed the tears from my cheeks, hugged me again, and then grinned. “I got lucky and was allowed to go home for the holidays, and because there’s no one I want to spent them with more than you, sis, I came here. I wanted to surprise you. I bet Lottie hated that she had to keep it secret from you.”
I turned and looked for my best friend, not worried about Jackson following me.
I found her standing a little off, holding on to two mulled wines and giving me a wide smile. “You should have told me.”
She shook her head. “You needed the surprise, your own little Christmas miracle.”
And it was. I glanced at Jackson. “You said you couldn’t come. Why did you lie to me?”
“I didn’t. I applied for leave, but it was turned down. However, the guy who was meant to leave found out his wife was going to be in the hospital over Christmas, giving birth… Considering we’ve been out of the country for more than nine months, that was a reason for him to not go home.”
My heart cracked. How could women do that to their men? How could anyone think about fucking someone else just because their second half wasn’t available? Even with Blue not being here, I didn’t see anyone else, nor could I imagine touching someone who wasn’t him. “That’s the worst story ever,” I stated, almost mad that Jackson had told me about it.
He winked. “It means I can be here, and I was so happy about it. Seriously. Tell me, Kate, what do we do first?”
“Get your stuff to my place? And then talk?”
Lottie shook her head, injecting, “His stuff is safe in my car. You can do some brother-sister bonding and just have fun at the fair. Play some stupid games, do some mindless shit. Give that soldier a break.”
I glanced at him, happy to do all the things with him and all the more glad that he was home because home meant safe for now.
“Fair it is,” he decided and then went straight for the cotton candy stand, causing me to roll my eyes. He was addicted to spun sugar, and I was happy to indulge him. “God, I missed snow and lights and cold. However, I wish Blue could be here. You must miss him like crazy.”
I waved him off. “Not more than any other time.” There was no need to let him know how bad it had been. He was worried enough, and as it went for big brothers, mine was super extremely protective since my time in the desert where Blue and his unit had rescued me.
A shiver ran down my spine at that thought, but I pushed it away. “So, you really will stay here for the holidays?”
He nodded, pulling me into his side again. “It was the only place on Earth I wanted to be. You know, I cannot wait for the day when I get to be the cool soldier uncle, coming home with gifts for the kids from all kinds of different countries. You and Blue will have an amazing family one day.”
I smiled, even if I didn’t feel like it. Blue was holding back, was ignoring my questioning about us getting married. He didn’t want me to be a widow, and I hated that this was the first thing he thought about. Considering he didn’t even want to marry me, I doubted we’d be up for children anytime soon.
Not that Blue knew how much I wanted to have a baby of my own, how much my clock was ticking. He couldn’t hear it, but I did.
Every day I did, and knew it wouldn’t be fair to put that on him. It was my clock after all, not his.
Blue
The video call connected, and the moment Kate’s beaming face came into view, I knew everything had worked out fine. “Jackson is home! Blue, he surprised me at the fair! Jackson is here…” I saw the tears coming to her eyes and my heart squeezed.
I could only imagine what it would have been like had I surprised her.
“I’m so glad you won’t be alone at Christmas. Where is the motherfucker? I wanna see him.”
“Jack,” Kate called over her shoulder. She was in the kitchen, and no matter how hard I try to see anything Christmassy, there was nothing.
Jackson appeared, wearing a shirt and sweatpants, and then sat down next to his sister. My heart got lighter at their matching expressions of happiness. Those two were closer than most siblings, and I knew just how much it meant to Kate to have him home. “You look lazy,” I commented.
“Hey, brother,” Jackson stated, laughing. God, safe looked good on him.
Maybe it was just me—which I doubted—but as much as I always wished I’d be back home, woul
d be somewhere safe, I reveled in seeing close friends and people I loved safe. I didn’t care that my ass was still in the desert, the days unusually warm for the season, my girl thousands of miles away, as long as I knew that those closest to me were okay.
“Hey, you changed! I wanted to change, but you told me I couldn’t, I needed to stay pretty… Wait, Theodore! You knew he was going to surprise me and you didn’t tell me? What kind of boyfriend are you?”
I just gave her a thumbs-up with a grin, hoping I’d be the kind of boyfriend that would be called fiancé sometime soon. “You know what surprise means, right?”
She rolled her eyes and then handed off the phone to Jackson before announcing she was gonna get homey, too.
The moment she was out of earshot, Jackson’s expression sobered. “She didn’t put up anything. She told me she was too busy, but she didn’t even take down the boxes. Also, when I asked her if we wanted to do it together, she told me we’d do it some other time, that we’d have to catch up soon. I know this shouldn’t be a big thing, but…”
I nodded. “It’s a big thing.” We both knew that and it worried me. “How does she look other than that?”
He smiled, but I knew him well enough to see it didn’t reach his eyes. “She looks good. Really happy. Seriously. You should have seen her when she realized who I was…”
I could imagine that, but I also knew it wasn’t enough. I didn’t know why this year was so much harder. I wished I could. I wished I had a chance to tell her that I’d be coming, too, that she should get the house ready, that…
I pinched the bridge of my nose as tears threatened to come to my eyes. “Promise me—”
“Promise you what, handsome?” Kate dropped down next to her brother again, her hair piled on top of her head, her body hidden in an army sweatshirt I was pretty sure was my own. She rested her head on Jackson’s shoulder, smiling softly. Everything about that was incredibly sweet and my heart squeezed.
“He was meant to promise me to not let you be sober on the twenty-fifth. Now that I have someone in your home, I can make sure all my tasks are fulfilled.”
She rolled her eyes. “You’re such a damn soldier. But no one here has to follow your orders, so…” She stuck out her tongue and I sighed.
“You better be nice to Sarge.”
Ace’s face appeared on screen and I glanced over my shoulder. He looked worried, but I doubted Kate would notice.
Instead, she beamed. “Ace! I cannot believe… Hi!” Damn, the way she got excited over him almost made me squint at her. “It’s been forever.”
Ace nodded. “Sure has been, ma’am.” He liked riling her up, and as usual, it worked wonders. Kate huffed. “I’m not that old. Stop being an idiot.”
My comrade laughed, and so did Jackson, but it was obvious he, too, could see that there was something going on. “Well, this was sweet and all, but Kate and I need to unpack my stuff so I feel all at home, and then I need to open a beer. So… Call again as soon as you can, Blue.”
I appreciated him wrapping up the call instead of me having to do that, causing Kate to worry. “Okay, fine, if your beer can’t wait.”
“I’m jealous,” Ace stated, nodding toward the screen and then stepped away.
I sighed, but Katey smiled, and that was what mattered for now. “I’m sorry your annoying brother cut this short, but I’ll call you soon, and I’m hoping to catch you in a more comfortable position then…” I wouldn’t be able to really have a sexy FaceTime call with her, but that didn’t mean I wouldn’t absolutely love to see her stretched out on our bed in nothing but underwear.
“You know, maybe you can wrap yourself in Christmas lights and—”
“Get zapped to death? No, thank you.”
I huffed while Jackson muttered something about this being TMI, leaving. “You could do it for me. It would be hot.”
She laughed. “Never knew that was a kinky fantasy of yours, me tied up in Christmas lights…”
I groaned although it hadn’t been a fantasy of mine so far. It definitely would become one now. “I love you,” I stated instead of talking about this further.
“I love you, too.” Something crashed in the background and her eyes widened. “Jackson, what the hell are you doing?” She shook her head. “I gotta go. Catch you very soon, okay?”
I nodded, and then hung up before looking at Ace. “They called a camp meeting, Sarge.”
My heart dropped. Camp meetings were rather rare, and never anything good. “Well then, we better get going.”
And also, we’d better get praying that this wouldn’t mean extra danger around the best time of the year.
Chapter 3
Blue
I was fidgeting and it didn’t stop. I was extremely tired and yet knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep. My heart was thundering in my chest, and I kept twisting my hat in my hands.
“You look mighty nervous, Sarge.”
And I was. I was so nervous I wasn’t sure I’d keep the measly lunch in that I’d eaten. The last week had been a flurry of activity, of arranging and securing. It had been so bad I’d not found a single second to message Kate and at least let her know that I was okay. I didn’t know what it was going to do to her mental state, but I had to count on Jackson to make everything right for her.
Hell, it was the worst feeling in the world, having someone else take care of what mattered most to you, but that didn’t mean I wasn’t glad he was there.
“You can always change your mind,” the guy next to me stated. I’d missed his name because my head was buzzing.
Even on my first day in the army I’d not felt like that. Nor when I’d been to my first deployment. Then again, never had anything mattered as much as this day had.
The hat was ripped from my hand and the guy straightened it. “You might want to put that on your head and make sure it looks decent. We’re about to get going.”
I knew marching. I knew marching to music, and I knew what it meant if all eyes were on you, but I’d never considered what it would be like to do this on your own.
“They know what to do, right?”
The guy smiled. “Everyone knows what to do, okay? You just breathe. Here, take a sip of water.” He handed me a bottle and I checked it to make sure it was unopened and didn’t have a tiny hole anywhere.
“You soldiers are a mighty weird bunch.”
He’d not say that if he knew that in warzones something as simple as a water bottle handed to you from a stranger could be a death sentence, and while I’d never thought about my actions in any camp, I had to admit it was weird to do it anywhere else.
I took a big swallow, but it didn’t help to settle anything. Instead, it made me realize that my nerves were shot and my hands were shaking. I couldn’t believe how much I wished for a gun just then, even if only to hold it and make my hands steady.
Taking my hat off again, I knew it was useless to pretend I wasn’t nervous.
The sky was dark and foreboding, something that always made me smile because it meant Kate would be smiling. She loved storms. She didn’t mind that you’d have to dress differently then. She loved being out and about when it was raining, when the world was being difficult.
“Ready?”
I nodded, putting my hat back on and straightening my shoulders.
This I could do.
Walking.
One foot in front of the other. It didn’t matter that it was slower than what I was used to, that the snow crunching under my boots was as unexpected this year as the shiver of nervousness running down my spine.
“Still a ways to go,” the guy next to me announced, giving me a somber nod.
I wondered what that meant. Miles? Yards? How much was there left before my life would ultimately turn and change?
I looked up at the sky, not worried about stumbling or falling, and realized that thick snowflakes had started falling from the sky. I caught one in my gloved hand, feeling my heart settle a little bit.
A
t least the atmosphere was serene and beautiful. Being back on US soil came like a shock to the system, and being here, like this, on short notice…
Yeah, I couldn’t put that in words, either.
They’d closed down the camp because some infection spread rapidly among some of the British soldiers, and if I’d gotten it right, it had to do with the water or something. We didn’t use the same facilities, but the people in charge were too worried about risking everything and it was decided that the base was cleared for three weeks.
There’d been discussions about putting us in another base, but there wasn’t nearly enough room for even half of us.
In the end, they’d decided that most of us went home, but my unit was asked to accompany some soldiers back because there was no one to bring their bodies back home safe.
And of course, we’d done that.
Military funerals were majestic and yet painful, even if you didn’t know the guy who was buried, hadn’t exchanged more than a random hello with him.
“You good there, Sarge? You look a little green around the nose.”
And I was feeling like that, too, because I knew we had to be coming close, had to reach the turning point. My hands started to tremble again, even if I balled them into fists at my sides. It didn’t matter if I was shaking or not, because I had a feeling no one would really notice in just a few minutes.
Hell, if all went the way it was planned, not even I would realize it anymore in a few.
Kate
The Christmas parade was fun. It had been last year with Blue by my side, and it was this year, with Lottie and—
Where in the world did Lottie and Jackson get lost? We’d arrived together, we’d started watching the parade together, but now I stood there, all alone.
Huffing, I realized I had exactly two choices. I could be mad and let them ruin this, or I could just enjoy it. It wasn’t as if I was the only one standing on the side. In fact, most of the people I knew from church or last week’s fair stood left and right of me.
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