by Harlow James
“Fuck, I need a condom. Hold on.” He presses a chaste kiss to my lips and then saunters down the hallway, giving me the perfect view of his bare ass as he walks away from me. He returns quickly, covering himself as he stalks back toward me. And when he takes his position in front of me again, his hands palm my ass cheeks and lift me up in his arms so my legs can wrap around his waist.
“Hold on to me,” he instructs as I wrap my arms around his neck and feel my back hit the wall, along with Javi’s dick pressing against my entrance. And with one lift and pull, he slides me down his cock in a precise movement that has me crying out in pleasure and surprise.
Javi’s hips start to move as his arms help lift me up and down while the weight of his body holds me up against the wall.
“God, yes,” I moan, searching for his lips again so I can taste him. Now that he’s finally let me, I don’t want to stop. We continue to fuck as our lips move over one another and an intense euphoria radiates from my chest.
This is right. This is what I wanted. The ache I felt for the past four days can go to hell because no matter how stubborn this man can be, I know he needs me, he needs this—and I feel the same way.
Just after our lips part, his declaration lights up my skin like a livewire. “You’re mine, Sydney.”
“Yes, Javi. I’m yours,” I whisper in his ear, dragging my tongue around the shell as he continues to thrust inside of me.
Hard, punishing, and yet somehow, with a tenderness that blends two forms of fucking together, Javi brings us closer to release while keeping me secure in his arms.
As I feel my orgasm come on, I want nothing more than to kiss him when the waves hit me, for his mouth to swallow my cries of pleasure. So I do—I find his lips once more just as the first tremors hits and we swallow each other’s groans when his release hits as well, searing our connection even stronger than ever before.
When we part—breaths heavy and bodies sweaty—he looks into my eyes and says so much without saying any words at all.
I need you. I don’t want to. But I do.
Chapter 24
Javier
“Are you ready to talk?” Sydney drags her fingernails across my bare chest as we lie next to each other in my bed. Once we cleaned up from the sex up against the wall, I dragged her back to my room so we could lie down. With only the lamp on my nightstand on, the soft glow of light in the room makes the woman beside me look more beautiful than ever.
It’s the first time I’m holding her in my arms after fucking her and kissing her. I never allowed myself to do that before because I didn’t trust myself enough to break the rules, even though I broke about ten others.
Well, fuck those rules. I don’t think we were ever meant to follow them anyway.
God, I knew her lips would hold me captive—it’s part of the reason why I refrained from kissing her for so long until tonight. When she stood there in front of me, pleading with me to let go and finally admit what I feel, the only thought on my mind was tasting her mouth. And now that we’ve solidified that we’ve both been kidding ourselves about the extent of our relationship, I know we need to figure out what happens now.
“I guess. Or, we could just fuck again.” I roll over on top of her, hovering above her face as her dark hair fans out behind her on my pillow, wanting to stay in this tender and playful moment for just a little while longer. The slight upturn of her lips has me growing hard again in an instant.
Damn, she looks good in my bed like this—freshly fucked and completely surrendered to me in a way that isn’t just physical. Sydney voiced her feelings earlier, but I’m still having a hard time wrapping my brain around the fact that she’s not entirely bothered by my record. She doesn’t even know what landed me in prison, but she’s willing to accept me despite that. I’m instantly aware of how wrong I was about who she is as a person all of these years. This woman is exceptional in every facet of the word—and she wants me.
“Javi,” she warns, forcing me to accept that this conversation needs to happen sooner rather than later.
“Yeah, okay, Princess.” I roll onto my back again, but pull her in closer to my body. We’re both naked still, but the warmth of her skin soothes me in a way I never knew I needed. I press a kiss against her temple, pull the covers up over our torsos, and then take a deep breath. “What do you want to know?”
“Well … I guess I kind of want to know where your head is at right now? Out in the living room was pretty intense and I just want to make sure we’re on the same page.” Well, that wasn’t the question I was anticipating. I was sure she was going to ask me what landed me in jail.
“And what page is that?”
Sydney sits up and rests her chin on my chest, her aqua eyes gleaming up at me. “Where do we go from here? I think we can both admit now that there’s feelings involved between us, so what is it that you want?”
My hand reaches out to brush the hair from her face, her strands wild from my comforter. “I want you.”
“So are we … dating? Like, exclusively?” Despite how stern I know she can be and even how much she was with me earlier, her timid questioning right now has me fighting off a grin.
“Like boyfriend and girlfriend?”
She shrugs. “I mean, I guess if you wanna put a label on it.” Her eyes focus on any other place but me until I direct her face back to mine.
“Is that what you want?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to pressure you for anything. This is … this is all new, Javi.”
“You don’t know the half of it, Princess. I don’t do relationships, haven’t for a long time. I’ve had one serious relationship in my life, but that was when I was like nineteen.”
“Okay …” she drags out, and suddenly I feel the energy between us shift.
“But with you,” I add, making sure she understands what I’m saying, “the way you cloud my mind, the way I crave not only your body but your conversation, the way seeing you smile makes my day better … that’s something I’ve never felt before, Sydney.”
The smile that the stretches across her lips makes my chest fill with purpose. “I feel the same, Javi.”
“I never thought in a million years and I’d be lying in a bed naked with Sydney Matthews.” She chuckles and I follow suit. “But here we are, and there’s no place I’d rather be.”
Her smile fades slowly now, alerting me to the fact that maybe I said something wrong. “Then why did you push me away, Javi? On Saturday … why wouldn’t you just let me talk?”
I huff out a harsh breath and then move to sit up in the bed, pulling her onto my lap so she’s straddling me. My hands encircle her waist as I take a moment to gather myself enough to explain something to her. I’m not good at expressing my feelings, but for her, I want to try.
“Sydney … seeing the look on your face when I confirmed the rumor you heard … that’s exactly what I didn’t want to happen. I saw it in your eyes—the surprise, the twinge of fear, the unknown that lit a bonfire of questions in your mind. Being near you this past month made me realize that I would never be able to handle you looking at me like that …”
“Like what?”
“Like a villain.” I pause for a moment, trying to find the courage to keep talking. “I’ve made some choices in my life I’m not proud of, Sydney. Our pasts are very different. Hell, our lives are too. It makes this thing between us complicated, and I’m not going to lie—it scares the shit out of me. And then seeing you process the truth about me—it all was too much, so I thought the best thing to do was just end this.” I stare down at our hands as I intertwine them. I can feel Sydney’s eyes on me, but I’m avoiding them.
“Can I ask what you did, Javi? What landed you in prison?” Her eyes pull mine to hers, but I still can’t find it in me to share the entire story. No matter how you look at it, I beat a man within an inch of his life. I was murderous and angry, and I want to hold off on exposing that side of myself for as long as possible to her.
“I’ll tell you one day, Sydney. I promise. But not tonight.”
“But …”
“Please, sweetheart. Let’s just enjoy being together tonight. There will be a time to open up about that stuff later …” I can’t stand to see your face change with more details about that part of my life—not tonight when I finally have you back in my bed, and better yet, now in my arms.
“Okay,” she relents, but then sits up straighter. “But just know, Javi—God, you made me so mad the other night,” she grates with a shake of her head. “You made that decision to end things between us without listening to what I had to say.”
“I know. And when you acknowledged that earlier, I regretted my reaction even more than I have for the past four days. This time without you has been torture, baby.”
“It hasn’t been pleasant for me either, not knowing if I’d ever hear from you again.”
“And then when I saw you with that guy today, I thought I was gonna snap …”
Her fingers grip my chin, forcing me to look at her. “I told you, he’s not who I want. I was very clear with him about that, and if Andrew knows what’s good for him, he’ll relay that message to my dad too since he doesn’t want to listen to me.”
Another red flag goes off in my mind. Her dad. Surely Judge Matthews would have an issue with his daughter dating an ex-con. “What do you think daddy-dearest is going to think when he finds out we’re seeing each other?”
“I don’t give a shit about that right now, Javi. My father can kiss my ass as far as I’m concerned.” Her bold statement makes me throw my head against my headboard in laughter, even though there’s still an uneasiness in my chest.
“Okay …”
She cups my face in her hands, resting her forehead on mine as we breathe each other in for a moment. “Let’s just focus on us for right now, alright? Let’s figure out what this is before involving outside influences.”
“Hate to break it to you, but my sister and Andre aren’t going to stay away.”
She perks up with that detail, excitement registering in her eyes. “That I don’t mind, actually. I really like your sister, Javi.”
Rubbing my hands up and down her arms, I process the way she lit up at that moment and how it made me feel—like Sydney could possibly fit into my world. I’m just not so sure I’d fit into hers. “I know. And since she’s nosy as all hell, she was already hounding me on why you hadn’t been around all week.”
“Well, maybe she needed to knock some sense into you so you’d open up to me.”
“I think the only person that could have accomplished that was you, sweetheart.” I grip her face in my palms and pull her toward me, pressing our lips together in a kiss that melts away the underlying tension still reeling in my body. With Sydney’s lips on mine and her back in my arms, my world feels right again.
I don’t know when it happened, or why, but somehow Sydney Matthews and I were meant to cross paths again, and I never imagined it would lead us down the road we’re headed. But now knowing that it’s time to put our stubbornness aside, I’m optimistic to see how this connection of ours could only grow from here.
Chapter 25
Sydney
“Okay, your smile is beginning to creep me out.”
“What? Why?” I look up from my desk to see Tessa studying me from the open door of my office.
“Because it just stays there. It doesn’t even fall when you’re reading or typing something on the computer.”
“Have you been watching me?”
“For about the last five minutes. What’s gotten into you?”
I fight my smile from growing once more, but it’s a lost cause. It’s been less than twenty-four hours since Javier and I reconciled, but I can’t fight the elation running through my body. Months ago I never would have believed I’d be in a relationship that both terrifies me, but also wakes up every nerve ending in my brain—but that’s exactly where I’m at. And the man responsible for my giddiness is the biggest surprise of them all.
“I’m just happy it’s almost Friday.” I shrug and then focus back on the contract in front of me.
“Oh, okay. Well then, I’d better hold off on bringing in these flowers that were just sent for you.”
“What?” I perk up in my chair before deciding to stand, needing to stretch my legs anyway.
Tessa chuckles and then leaves to gather the delivery. But when she returns, more than flowers cross the threshold of my office.
“Hey there, Princess.”
Javier stands before me holding a gorgeous bouquet of red roses in his strong arms covered by his construction uniform. His skin is slickened with sweat and his signature bandana is wrapped around his forehead.
“Hey, you. This is a pleasant surprise.” I squeak out the words as my heart beats wildly against my ribs. Javier is in my office with flowers for me—cue the melting of my heart and the slipping of my underwear. If we were any other place, I’d be stripping for him right now. Apparently flowers make me want to get naked.
No, scratch that. Flowers from Javi make me want to get naked.
“I’m glad I surprised you. That was the goal.” He steps in a few more feet and then hands me the flowers while planting a kiss on my cheek. “These are for you.”
“How did you know that red roses were my favorite?” I ask as I inhale their scent and then move to the corner of my office where I have a vase that’s empty and ready to be filled with this arrangement.
“I didn’t, but now I do,” he answers through a chuckle. “I had no idea what to get when I went into the flower shop, but for some reason red roses were calling out to me. They reminded me of you. No matter how classic they may be, they are bold and make a statement—like you do.”
I turn around to face him as he stares at me intently. His gaze almost looks pained, but then he moves to close my door quietly, breaking our eye contact. In a few swift strides, he’s back in front of me, holding my face in my hands and kissing me breathlessly. I part my lips for him, allowing him to dive his tongue into my mouth. He tastes of salt and soda, and smells of sweat mixed with his signature scent I discovered is his deodorant after rummaging through his bathroom last night before I left. I was curious what that smell was and when I didn’t see any cologne on his counter, I popped the cap from his deodorant and inhaled deeply, bathing myself in his smell that I’ve come to crave.
When he breaks the kiss, he wraps his arms around my waist and rests his forehead on mine.
“God, I needed that.”
“I just saw you last night.”
He laughs. “Yeah, I know. But I couldn’t stop thinking about you. I needed to remind myself that you were real, that last night really happened.”
Concern fills my mind as I pull away from him slightly, but stay within his arms. “Is everything okay? Are you having second thoughts about this?” My heartbeat ricochets in my chest as I wait for his answer. Doubt floods my veins as I watch him furrow his brow and struggle to answer. My biggest concern in all of this is him changing his mind or freaking out because of what someone else might think. I’ve come to grips with the fact that opinions are going to fly, but I’m also running on fumes of hatred for those people and that facet of my life they are involved in.
This new life, the one that’s opening up because Javier is in it—that’s what I’m choosing to focus on. But I know he’s going to be bothered by things that I might not register, and I don’t want him to bail due to fear.
“No, not changing my mind. Just trying to remind myself that this is an adjustment for me.”
“Hey,” I whisper, stroking his cheek with my thumb. “It’s okay. I’m a little scared too if that makes you feel any better.”
“Uh, not really,” he huffs.
“I mean that in the best way though. It’s an anticipatory fear, the kind that makes your stomach churn with nerves of excitement.”
“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I just …” He sighs, and then releases me from his gr
ip. “I don’t want to fuck this up.”
“I think you’re better at this than you think. These flowers were a great start.” I flash him a wink which makes him smile warmly.
“Okay. Well, how about you come over tomorrow night and I cook you dinner and you stay the night with me?” He lifts one brow as he pulls my body close to his again, encircling my waist completely this time.
“See. You’re a top notch boyfriend, Javi,” I murmur before finding his lips again and losing myself in his kiss. I struggle with breaking away from him because tasting his lips is my new favorite addiction.
“Fuck.” He groans as we part and I feel how hard he is between us. “If I had less respect for your job, I’d bend you over your desk right now and fuck you senseless.”
I giggle, feeling my cheeks turn pink with his declaration. “As much as I’d love that, it’s probably not a good idea. If I had money on it, I’d bet Tessa’s ears are pressed up against my door right now.”
“Yeah, okay. I’ll just save my stamina for tomorrow night then. Pack a bag, but don’t bother with too many clothes, Princess. You won’t be needing them.” He nibbles on my earlobe, sending a bolt of arousal through my body straight for my core.
“Sounds like a plan,” I reply breathlessly as we part, and then bite my bottom lip. “Have a good rest of your day, Javi.” I walk him to the door and hold it open for him, surprised that Tessa isn’t milling around in the hallway.
“You too, Princess.” He flashes me a smirk that doesn’t quell the ache between my legs at all, and then saunters off as I watch his long legs retreat from the building. As I stare down the hallway and watch him exit, Tessa scares the shit out of me as she jumps from her doorway right in front of my face.
“Shit, Tessa!”
“Sorry, sorry,” she rambles and then widens her eyes at me. “Um, care to explain the fine hunk of man meat that just came in here with flowers for you?”
I turn on my heel and then head back into my office as she trails me. “That is Javier.”
