by Harlow James
“It’s not about being perfect, Javi. It’s about owning our mistakes and learning from them. You have done that, and no matter what you might think, I’m proud of you. And I know your father would be too.”
Flicking my eyes over to her, I see hers glossed over with unshed tears. “Thanks, Mom.”
“Alright, before everyone starts crying and ruining the evening, how about we tell embarrassing stories about Javi so Sydney feels like part of the family!” Selena exclaims, clapping her hands together.
“Uh, I veto that idea,” I interrupt while holding one finger up.
My sister continues, ignoring my request completely. “Remember when you made Javi carry a light bulb around the house all day because he kept leaving his light on in his bedroom? Then that night while he was finishing his dinner, he carved ‘I hate my Mom’ into the kitchen table…”
Sydney practically chokes on her food. “Oh my God! Javi!”
I throw daggered eyes across the table at my sister while she beams at me with a pleased grin. Turning to face Sydney again, I simply shrug. “I was pissed.”
“You know,” my mother breaks into the conversation with a grin on her face, “that lightbulb idea was your father’s. I just enforced it because he was working that day and we agreed that would be your punishment if we had to ask you again to turn your light off again.”
Everyone chuckles, including me. “Well, it worked.”
As Selena and Sydney proceed to clean the kitchen, my mother corners me in the back of the house as I make my way down the hallway to use the restroom.
“Javi,” she whispers.
“Yeah?” I answer, turning to face her head on.
“I like her, son.” Her genuine smile allows pride to radiate through my chest.
“Me too, Mom.”
“Does she know about …”
I let out a frustrated sigh while running my hand through my hair that’s in need of a haircut again. “Yes, and no. She knows that I did time, but she doesn’t know why.”
“And why haven’t you told her?” Chastising me with only a look, I feel as if I’m a teenage boy again.
“Because I don’t want to change her perception of me. Regardless of why I did it, the truth of the matter is that I beat a man within an inch of his life and caused permanent damage to his hearing. I went fucking crazy, Mom, and I don’t want that to scare her off.”
“I see. But I also know that Jesus deserved what happened to him. I think any open-minded human could see your reasoning for what you did.”
“Yeah, well, when it’s the girl you’re falling for … I guess I don’t want to take my chances.”
“You’re going to have to tell her eventually, Javi. Secrets are like ghosts in a relationship. You don’t know they’re there until they make themselves known, and then you’re suddenly confronting a presence that commands your attention. You can’t avoid it forever.”
Pulling my mom into my chest, I hug her tightly. “I know, Mom. It’s going to change everything though. Especially with her dad …”
“Are you worried about her father? What does he have to do with this?” We separate again as she anticipates my answer.
“He’s a judge.”
“I see. Well, not everyone ends up with in-laws who like them, Javi. That might just have to be something you navigate throughout your relationship.”
Her little indication of our future doesn’t escape me. “In-laws, huh? You think Sydney and I are going to get married one day?”
She pinches my cheek in that annoying, motherly way. “Yeah, I do.”
After the kitchen is clean and everyone has a fresh drink in their hands, we sit down at the kitchen table and play a game of Cards Against Humanity with my mom and Emilio, in which I learn my mother has a far dirtier mind than I needed to know. I can’t remember the last time I laughed so hard, reminding me that even though I may not know much about my future, at least I have family and a woman beside me that provide me with memories to cherish in my life. Tonight was one of those nights that I’ll never forget.
Just a little after ten thirty, Sydney and I head over to her condo for the night. As we roll through the gate and Sydney greets the guard while we pass, I don’t miss the suspicious look he gives me, as if I don’t belong in a place like this. My reservations from before spark nerves again in my stomach, flaring up the insecurity of our relationship that is always simmering beneath the surface.
Sydney parks her car in her assigned parking space and leads me up a walkway that is lined with solar lights and planters full of various hedges and flowers, while light posts gleam in the night, providing even more light. Her complex is pristine and almost regal looking with large walnut stained doors at each entrance to the condos we pass as we make our way to hers, flaunting the difference in the worlds we live in even though I haven’t set foot inside yet.
With a twist of the key in the lock, Sydney pushes the door open as an alarm beeps in the background.
“Let me disarm that real quick.” She rushes inside a few feet and then enters her passcode to make the incessant noise halt.
My eyes travel through the entry way and past where Sydney stands to a living room full of dark wood and teal and gray accents throughout the space. A dark gray couch faces a modest television positioned in one corner and a small fireplace serves as the focal point of the room. Her kitchen with an oversized island sits just to the right, creating an open concept feel. Dark mahogany cabinets and light granite counter tops shine in the light of the fixture above the island and the ceiling fan in the living room once Sydney flicks them on.
“So this is my place,” she says with a wave of her hand. “I can’t believe you haven’t been here yet.”
Suddenly parched and feeling way out of my comfort zone, I reply on a shaky breath. “Uh, yeah. Me neither.” I mean, my place turned out nice, but this condo is something you would see on HGTV.
“You thirsty?” I watch her move into the kitchen, fetching a glass of water for herself and then filling one for me as well, even though I didn’t answer her.
As I take the glass from her and drain it completely, I finally reply, “Thanks.”
“Of course. Here, let me show you the rest of the place.” She reaches for my hand and pulls me behind her to a flight of stairs that leads to the second floor. A guestroom, a home office, and her master bedroom round out the tour, where we stop in front of her bed and she turns to face me.
“I’m glad you’re here,” she murmurs against my lips before circling her arms around my neck and pulling us together. The moment we kiss, a part of my anxiety melts away. I don’t know why I’m letting these little differences in our lives derail me from what I feel for her. After spending the night with my family, the doubt about how she fits seamlessly into my world left my body.
But this is the first time I’ve slipped into a part of hers and the notion shakes my resolve.
“Me too, babe.”
“Wanna get ready for bed? I don’t know about you, but I’m beat.” A small laugh escapes her lips as she reaches for the bottom of her dress and lifts it up, throwing it toward the corner where a laundry basket sits.
“If you think you’re gonna strip in front of me like that and then go to sleep, you’ve got another thing coming.” I reach for her waist and lift her into my arms as her legs wrap around my waist. Our lips meet as I walk us to the bed and gently place her on it, never detaching ourselves from one another.
“I was hoping you’d say that.” We break apart just long enough to discard the rest of our clothes and then crawl up her bed.
“Do you have any toys, Sydney?” I growl in her ear, nibbling on the lobe as she squirms beneath me. My eyes veer to her nightstand beside the bed as I reach over and slide the drawer open, hitting the jackpot on the first try.
She bites her lip, enticing me with her innocence as I extract a hot pink vibrator from her drawer and start playing with the settings. “How many times did you use this on
yourself while thinking of me?”
“Too many to count,” she replies breathlessly as I find a pulse setting I feel will do the job of teasing her and drag the vibrator down her chest and stomach to her pussy.
“Well, now whenever you use it, you’ll have no choice but to recall what I did to you with it.” A gasp leaves her mouth as I carefully place the wand against her clit and watch her buck up beneath me. Her body shakes as the vibrations travel through her sensitive nub and her hands fist her sheets.
“Javi,” she mewls, drawing in short breaths as the pulsations bring her closer to the peak. I hold the vibrator steady while opening a condom with my teeth and covering myself one-handed. And just as I sense her getting closer, I widen her legs and sink deep inside of her, firing her off like a bottle rocket.
“Oh God!” She screams as I thrust inside of her frantically, drawing out every tremor of her orgasm before shutting off the vibrator and throwing it to the side of the bed. Bending down to kiss her, I continue to move as I feel the aftershocks of her release twitch through her body.
“Javi, I’m so sensitive. I can’t take any more …”
“Yes, you can,” I say as I slant my lips over hers and continue to move. I fuck her slowly and methodically, wanting to wind her up like a yo-yo before I cast her down the rabbit hole of pleasure again.
Just when I can sense she’s close, I pull out and flip her over, pulling her onto her knees before sinking inside of her again.
“Holy shit!” She screams, burying her head in her pillow.
Leaning over her back, cupping her breasts while placing kisses on her neck I groan. “That’s it, baby. Come for me again.”
“I’m coming.” Her muffled voice calls out as she screams through her release and I pump my hips furiously to join her.
Once we relax and settle into bed for the night, I take a moment to savor the feel of her in my arms.
“My mom really likes you,” I say softly as her eyes peel open to look up at me.
“Yeah?” Optimism fills her voice.
Planting a kiss on her nose, I answer, “Yeah.”
“I liked her too.”
“How come you never told me about why you signed up for the self-defense class?” I don’t know why I felt the need to bring this up right now, but after hearing her reason earlier, I’ve had a difficult time shoving it out of my mind.
She lifts up slightly on her elbow, resting her head in her palm. I turn on my side to face her and then eagerly await her words.
“You never asked. And it’s not something I’m proud of. I felt helpless in that moment, Javi. That’s part of the reason why I took the class.”
“I hate that you had to go through that.” I can feel my jaw tightening again, but Sydney reaches out to cup my face.
“I know. But now at least I’m prepared in case something ever happens like that again. It’s part of the territory with being a judge’s daughter.”
“Have you dealt with things like that before?”
She nods. “They weren’t blatantly directed at me, but we’ve had our house egged and cars vandalized.”
“Jesus Christ.”
“It’s part of the risk when working in the court system or in law enforcement. Someone is always pissed off no matter how well you think you’ve done your job.”
“I’m sorry. Just know that now that you’re with me, I promise I’ll do everything in my power to protect you.” I plant a promising kiss on her lips and when she pulls away, I sense a shift in her demeanor.
“Can I ask you a question now?”
“Okay …”
“Can you tell me more about your dad? Your mom brought him quite a bit tonight, and it made me realize I don’t know anything about him except that he died.”
I blow out a heavy breath, preparing to divulge yet another piece of myself to her. I’ve reminded myself steadily over the past few weeks that this is what I signed up for, but it doesn’t make it that much easier.
“My dad was a rancher. He worked for the Wilson Ranch about forty-five minutes from Newberry. He left at dawn most days and didn’t return until sunset, but he enjoyed his work. It’s what he grew up doing in Puerto Rico and then made a living from it out here. One morning, he left later than usual, I don’t remember why. But that morning he said something to me that I’ll never forget. It was almost as if he knew he was going to die that day.” I pause in my story as Sydney reassuringly soothes my arm with her fingers, waiting for me to continue.
“Since he left later for work that day, he stayed later in the evening to make sure he got all of his hours. On his way home, he was hit by a drunk driver and killed on impact.”
“Oh my God, Javi. I’m so sorry.”
I nod in recognition. “My mother crumbled at the doorstep when the sheriff came to the house to tell us. I’ll never forget her screams, the tears that flooded her eyes. She loved him fiercely. And then I turned to Selena in the hallway and we just held each other for almost an hour before my mother came to find us, but realized we heard the entire conversation between her and the sheriff.”
“Javi …” She scoots closer to me and I pull her into my chest, breathing her in while I relive that day like a movie playing in my mind. There are moments in your life you’ll never forget and that was one for me.
“Is that why you don’t drink out in public?”
“A big part of it, yes.”
“What’s the other part?”
I take a deep breath and answer after a long pause. “Because I was shit-faced drunk the night I made the choice that landed me in prison.”
She reels back and searches my eyes for answers that I’m not ready to give her yet. “What did you do?”
I shake my head, closing my eyes while willing my pulse to slow down. “Not tonight, Sydney.”
“But …”
“Please,” I beg, hoping she senses that I’ve already divulged a huge part of me to her this evening, and I don’t think I can handle any more.
She nods reluctantly and then turns over to switch off the lamp on her nightstand. “Okay.”
“Thank you.” I kiss her lips once more as we settle into each other and fall to sleep easily, even though somewhere deep in my chest is a reminder that the contrast between mine and Sydney’s lives is anything but easy.
Chapter 27
Javier
“Damn, güey. Check out that woman walking over here.” Trilch catches my attention as I finish hammering a nail into the wood in front of me and look over my shoulder to where his gaze is focused.
Sydney is striding toward us in a bright red skirt, a black top that flares at her hips, and white high heels. She looks fucking amazing and my heart stutters for a moment at the sight of her. The faint breeze in the air catches her long, chocolate curls and blows her hair around her as her smile stretches wide across her lips. She looks like Sandra Bullock in Miss Congeniality when she emerges from the airplane hangar after her beauty transformation—except Sydney would never need an intervention like that. She’s too fucking perfect as she is.
“Keep your eyes to yourself, Trilch,” I grate as I place my hammer back in the holder on my tool belt and my legs carry me over to her.
“Is that the girl from Russo’s?”
I nod. “Yeah. Except now she’s my girlfriend, so fucking behave.” I take pleasure in verifying our relationship to him as the two of us close in on each other.
“Damn,” he claims as he tries to catch up to me. “How the fuck did you land a woman like that?”
Shaking my head back and forth, I reply, “I have no fucking clue.”
“Hey, Javi.” Sydney stops in front of me, bright and beautiful as always. “I brought you lunch.”
My hand grips her hip as I pull her in closer to me, planting a kiss on her cheek. “Thank you, Princess.”
“What about me?” Trilch interjects as Sydney and I part slightly.
“Sorry, Trilch. This delivery was for my boyfriend only. Perks of
the title.”
“Damn. I knew I should have hit on you first.”
The glare of warning I shoot at him causes him to back up slightly. “You’d better get back to work before you don’t have a job any more, fucker.”
Throwing his hands up in the air, he relents. “Fine, fine! Don’t maul each other for too long, boss. We have work to do.”
Sydney chuckles as I watch him walk away and then fixate back on her. “Thank you for this. You didn’t have to.”
She smooths my hair from my face while studying my eyes. “I know. I just wanted to see you.”
“You know I was going to see you in a few hours though, right?”
She shrugs. “Yeah. But it had been a few days and I missed you.” She juts out her bottom lip as a low growl crawls up my throat. It has been a few days since we’ve seen each other. I’ve been working late finishing up a house to stay on our deadline, and Sydney has been battling a custody case that has been taking up a lot of her free time. Over the past few weeks we’ve made the most of the time we could get together, but it’s been crazy with our jobs, which is part of the reason we’re going out tonight to let loose and have some fun.
Well, I wouldn’t call going to The Jameson fun, but that’s what my girl wanted to do, and I wanted to see that sparkle in her eye that develops when she’s truly happy. Ally and her husband and Selena and Andre are joining us too. It should be a good time, regardless of where we’re going.
Last weekend I met Ally and Collin at Sydney’s request and am pleased to say I actually felt comfortable as hell with them. Of course, Sydney’s friends know her better than anyone and I could tell how secure she was in their presence, which in turn, made me more comfortable.
The evening didn’t come without the best friend inquisition from Ally though, which I think I passed with flying colors once she mentioned how appreciative she is of me for fucking her best friend the way she deserves. Not sure of how to respond to that, I told her it was no problem, and that was the end of the conversation.
“I missed you too, baby. Just a few more hours and then we’ll have the entire weekend to spend next to each other.” I encircle her waist with my palms and press our bodies together, showing her how hard she makes me just by standing there but being careful not to dirty up her outfit with mine. “I say we spend all day tomorrow wrapped up in each other in my bed.”
