by Harlow James
“Hmmm,” she moans and then lines her lips up to my ear, making my dick twitch. “I think that sounds perfect.”
“Then you’d better get out of here before I find a spot in that vacant house behind me to fuck you senseless instead of saving all of my pent up aggression for tonight.”
She giggles and then kisses me, lingering on my lips for just long enough for me to want to keep her here for the rest of the day. “I can’t wait.”
“Me neither, Princess.”
“Okay. I have to get back to the courthouse. Hopefully, this will be the last meeting with the judge on this custody case.” She holds up her crossed fingers in the air as she begins to back away from me.
“Good luck. You got this, baby.”
She winks at me over her shoulder as she turns to trek back to her Mustang. “Thanks, Javi. See you tonight.”
My eyes trail her as she leaves and takes a sliver of my heart along with her. It happened so unexpectedly, but this woman has changed me, weaseled her way into my life and wrapped herself around the black organ in my chest I thought would forever stay that way.
I wasn’t looking for love. I had no intention of letting a woman derail me from getting my life back on track—but Sydney Matthews broke every well-thought-out plan I concocted. The only thing holding me back is being completely honest about my past, even though after all this time now, I’m not sure why I keep waiting to tell her.
Obviously, she cares for me if she’s with me and has been thus far. She hasn’t pushed me to divulge everything, even after the moments that I shut her down when she did inquire. Is it perhaps a subconscious effort on my part to protect myself from getting hurt? Or do I still believe she’ll leave me even after she knows, although she’s remained steady in our relationship this entire time?
Maybe it’s time to just tell her, get it over with. Perhaps this weekend while we’re shutting out the world and immersing ourselves in each other I can rip the band aid off and give her all the darkest parts of me, the details I’ve tried desperately to keep hidden from her, but I know can’t stay buried forever.
Later that night all six of us Uber to The Jameson, and just seeing Sydney again after hours of intense thought has me convinced.
It’s time. I need to get it all out. If she truly cares for me the way she says and the way I’ve come to realize, then surely she can understand why I did what I did. I’m not that man anymore either, and I hope she can sense that too.
“To letting loose after a long week!” Selena exclaims as we all bump our glasses together once we made it inside the honky tonk. I don’t fail to realize how differently I felt the last time I was here. Now with Sydney snuggled up next to me, I’m not hating being in this place nearly as much.
“Amen to that!” Sydney declares as she slings back a shot of vodka and winces afterwards.
“Why do girls always make that face after taking a shot? I don’t understand why you do it if it’s so awful?” Collin argues as Ally sucks on a lemon beside him.
“Because it gets you drunk faster. Duh!” she shouts. “Besides, you don’t seem to mind when I do that after you cum in my mouth, so why the sudden strong feelings on my facial expressions?” She pops her hip out as the rest of us grow slightly uncomfortable.
“O-kay,” Sydney drags out. “Let’s not take the conversation in that direction, please. It’s time to have fun. There are no children to worry about and plenty of booze to be absorbed. A good time is in order, everyone!”
“Here, here!” Selena adds as the girls shout and the boys wince this time at the sound.
With her hands placed on my chest, Sydney bats her eyelashes up at me as if the gesture is necessary at all. With the way I feel about her, there’s no need for her to pull those kind of moves. Doesn’t mean I don’t like watching her lay it on thick though. “Are you gonna dance with me, Javi?”
“I’m not much of a dancer, Princess.”
“Please,” she drawls as her bottom lip juts out.
“Only because you asked nicely.” I groan in her ear as her face lights up and she whisks me toward the dance floor.
The last time I was here, I was watching Andre spin my sister around on the light wooden floor, burying my head down low next to my glass of Coke. Now I’m spinning my girlfriend around on the dance floor, grinning like a damn fool at the way she looks as I twirl her around. I even dressed more appropriately for the part in dark jeans, brown work boots, and a plan white tee. I still have on my ball cap backwards though, that won’t ever change.
“You can dance,” Sydney cries out in elation as we step along while the other two couples join us.
“I know a thing or two. My mom used to make me dance with her in the kitchen sometimes, especially to songs that reminded her of my dad.”
Sydney’s face softens just as the music starts to slow down too. “Aw, I love that, Javi.”
“Now the only woman besides her that I would dance with is you, baby.” I swear I see her eyes glisten with moisture under the lights spinning above us.
“I’m crazy about you, Javier Montes … just in case you didn’t know that.”
I chuckle softly as I hold her close to my body while we teeter back and forth on our feet. But there’s nothing funny about the way I feel about this girl.
“I’m crazy about you too, Sydney.”
Her scent holds me captive, but it’s really her eyes that do the trick—they hold my attention, making me blissfully unaware just long enough not to process what’s going on to my right.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing here?” Andre’s voice booms over the music, causing many heads to turn in his direction.
My ears perk up at the sound of his voice and the commotion coming over off the dance floor. Seems while I was engrossed in Sydney’s eyes and voice, my sister and her husband left the area, only to be greeted by a parasite with the intent to leach out all of the fun.
The minute my eyes see his face, red clouds my vision, and a rage I’ve only ever felt once before in my life rushes back through my veins in vengeance. My blood pressure skyrockets and I clench Sydney’s waist in my hands. My heart pounds in my ears and the intense need to kill him scorches my skin.
“Ow! Javi, you’re pinching me,” she cries out as I snap back to her and release her on a jerky movement. “What’s going on?” Her face turns back to where my attention is directed, blinking a few times just to make sure I’m not seeing things.
“You’d better get the fuck away from us if you know what’s good for you.” Andre steps up into Jesus’s face, seething with rage that I could only compare to my own. But I still bet mine is worse.
“Hey, Selena. Lookin’ good babe.” He juts his chin my sister’s direction while licking his lips.
“Motherfucker!” I yell as I race toward them, leaving Sydney behind on the dance floor. At the sound of my voice, Jesus’s head spins in my direction as his eyes go wide. He steps back a few paces as I cross over the boundary of the dance floor, but Selena gets right in my way just as the slimy grin on his face reappears.
“Javi, don’t!” she pleads, her eyes brimming with tears.
The joints of my jaw grind together as I warn Jesus with my voice before my fists do the job. “Get the fuck away from her, you piece of shit!”
“Hey, look who’s out of prison?”
“You’d better step off now before I finish the job this time.”
“Javi!” Sydney screams from behind me while Selena’s hands push against my chest, desperately trying to pin me in place with her small stature.
“Javi! Don’t! You can’t go back, Javi. He’s not worth it.”
“I should have killed you, motherfucker,” I grind out as Sydney gasps beside me. But I don’t dare break my focus on the bastard in front of me that should have been behind bars—not me.
“Well, looks like you found a little piece of ass to replace your bitch behind bars, huh?” His eyes dance all over Sydney’s frame and the fire wi
thin me ignites.
“Excuse me, is there a problem?” A security guard intervenes just as Jesus and his friends start to back away. With both hands in the air, he throws an air of innocence around, even though we all know he’s anything but.
“Nope. Just saying hello to some old friends and a few new ones.” He winks in Sydney’s direction as I feel Andre grip my arm, keeping me in place.
“I think you’d better leave, all of you.” The guard directs Jesus and his friends to the nearest exit as my sister relaxes her hand from my chest and then gasps.
“I think I’m going to be sick,” she mumbles before darting to the closest restroom as the rest of our group remains frozen in place.
“Javi,” Sydney starts but I throw my hand up in the air, cutting her off.
“I need some fucking air.” Without giving her a glance, I spin around and head for the front door, sensing Andre trailing behind me.
Patrons in The Jameson are completely oblivious to drama that unfolded, although it could have been far worse if that guard hadn’t stepped in. As soon as Jesus’ eyes landed on my girl I was seconds away from snapping. Seems while I was counting down the days behind bars, Jesus was busy growing a pair of balls. Not sure where his newfound confidence came from since he was too chicken shit to appear in court the day I was sentenced, I’m left puzzled as to why he was even here tonight in the first place, let alone that he would have the audacity to approach my sister after what he did. The only logical explanation I can fathom is that he honestly thinks she doesn’t remember everything that happened that night.
When the metal doors are inches away, I shove them open with all the strength I felt building in my arms in preparation to pummel Jesus. The humid night air is not welcoming at all, but all I needed was space from the turmoil inside—too bad the rage in my bones is something I can’t escape from as well.
“Javi,” Andre calls to me once he joins me outside. “What the fuck man?”
“What the fuck? What do you mean? I damn well better know you’re not pissed at me right now!”
“No, no, man. I mean, what the fuck was he doing here?”
“Is Selena okay? Fuck, I should have stayed in there and made sure she was alright. And I left Sydney alone …”
Andre shakes his head, letting out a deep sigh. “Ally and Sydney followed her to the bathroom. Sydney just sent me a text letting me know she’s okay. I can’t go in there obviously, but I also wanted to make sure you didn’t come out here to chase Jesus down.”
Seething still, my hands continuing to clench open and closed, I shake my entire body to try to expel the nerves from my veins. “I almost fucking hit him again, Andre. I was seconds away from snapping when you grabbed my arm.”
“I know, man. And as much as I wanted to do the same, I couldn’t let you do that. That’s exactly what that fucker was counting on. If you assault him again Javi, especially while you’re on parole, you’re going back to prison and for a lot longer this time.”
“I can’t stop shaking, man. He fucking walked in here like his life was normal, like he wasn’t a fucking rapist. And then to have the nerve to say something to Selena and look at Sydney like that…”
“I know. I know, Javi. It’s not fucking right. But there’s not much we can do.”
“What about a restraining order?”
Andre shakes his head. “Without just cause, it won’t hold up. We looked into it after everything went down the first time. If anything, Jesus has more of a case getting one against you.”
“This is so fucked up.”
“I agree, but it’s part of the consequences of your sister never pressing charges.”
I fold my hands behind my head and look up at the sky, counting stars while I desperately try to get my heart rate under control.
“We still have one more problem, Javi,” Andre speaks as a slow warning, pulling my attention back to him.
“What’s that?”
“You know you have to tell Sydney now.” As my best friend, Andre knows that I haven’t divulged the circumstances that landed me in prison to her. But after tonight, he’s right. There’s no holding back the truth now. Time to let everything out.
Chapter 28
Sydney
“Selena, you’re shaking, girl. Are you sure you’re okay?”
Ally, Selena, and myself are huddled in the corner of the bathroom at The Jameson after a man I’ve never seen before obviously caused havoc with his presence.
“Yeah. I’ll be okay. I just need another minute.” With a pale face and sweat beading on her forehead, I’m inclined not to believe her, but I guess I’ll have to take her word for it.
“Who was that guy?” Ally interjects. “I mean, I’m not stupid. There’s obviously a story there for Javi to act like a man on a murder mission.”
Selena swallows and then reaches for a paper towel, wetting it under the water running in the sink and dabbing it across her forehead. “Yeah, there’s a story alright. That was Jesus, my ex.”
I furrow my brows while hoping that she’ll continue. I mean, it’s not unheard of for an older brother not to like the ex-boyfriend of his younger sister. But Javi’s reaction was far beyond dislike. It was borderline murderous.
“Sydney … has Javi told you about Jesus?”
With a soft shake of my head, I answer her. This has to be it. This has to be related to why Javier went to prison. I heard what Selena said. She warned him not to do anything so he wouldn’t go back. What the hell did Javi do?
Ally and I huddle closer to Selena as she fiddles with the damp paper towel in her hands.
“There was a party at our friend’s house over three years ago now. Everyone was drinking, smoking, having a good time. I was extremely buzzed and went inside to use the bathroom. When I finished and opened the door, Jesus was standing there, waiting for me. We’d been broken up for months, but he never could seem to leave me alone.” She takes a deep breath and then continues. “He asked if we could talk, and since I wanted to remain friendly and wasn’t exactly thinking straight, I agreed and followed him into one of the spare rooms. As soon as he shut the door, he kissed me, but I fought to push him off. He didn’t like my denial and then started getting rough with me as I fought back. The last thing I remembered was him punching me in the face. I blacked out. But when I came to, Jesus was lying on the floor and Javier was being pulled off him by Andre, both of them covered in blood. Javi looked like a demon had possessed him. I’d never seen my brother so enraged.”
“Oh my God …”
“It gets worse. I guess while I was unconscious, Jesus raped me. I barely remember my body shaking at one point while he was inside of me, but my mind is so fuzzy still from the details. I guess that’s what Javi walked in on and that’s why he snapped and beat the shit out of Jesus.”
With my hand covering my mouth, I feel my body vibrate from the intense pounding of my heart. “Selena, I’m so sorry.” I can’t imagine what that must have been like, living through that but not even truly remembering it either.
“Javi and Andre took me to the hospital to get checked out, and I did. It was processed as rape. They took my clothes and samples of DNA off my sweater and from between my legs. I was mortified, and then I chickened out with pressing charges. I didn’t think anyone would believe me because I had been drinking and barely remembered it myself. Plus, I was weeks away from opening my salon and I didn’t want the rumor mill to inhibit the success of my business before it even started.”
“Selena,” Ally speaks, reaching out and rubbing her arm.
“A few weeks later, Javi got served with assault charges. Jesus was pressing charges against him since he apparently damaged his left eardrum permanently. I was the one who was raped, but my brother did time in prison for aggravated assault when the fucker deserved exactly what was coming to him.”
And there it is, the truth about why Javi did time. It’s resting in the space between us, and my body isn’t sure how to react. On the
one hand, I’m glad that Javi did what he did because lord knows that Jesus deserved it. But on the other, irritation runs through me knowing that Javier couldn’t just tell me this himself. I’m his girlfriend, and he’s been so forthcoming with other information. I kept telling myself not to push him, to let him come to me when he was ready to talk. I fought my inclination to force him to tell me numerous times, especially over the past few weeks as I felt us grow closer.
I just wanted to know, and I wanted to hear it from him. Instead, I’m hearing it from his sister in a bathroom at a honky tonk.
“Selena, thank you for sharing that with us. I know it’s your story and I’m glad you felt comfortable enough to tell us about it. I am so sorry that ever happened to you.”
Wiping a tear from her cheek, she gives me a tight-lipped smile. “Thank you.”
“Where are the boys?” Ally pops up as we all realize we’ve been in here for a quite a while now.
I reach into my pocket and check my phone, seeing a text from Andre that he, Collin, and Javi are all out front.
“They’re at the entrance. Come on.” I reach for Selena’s hand and lock elbows with Ally as we head for the front of the establishment, my mind still spinning with all of the details and events that dispersed this evening.
***
Have you ever been in a car for over an hour with six other people and not one person is speaking? No? Well, I don’t recommend it, especially if the air in the cab of the SUV is laced with tension and unspoken words.
By the time we arrive back at Selena and Andre’s, it’s well after one in the morning. Ally and Collin head home after a quick goodbye, and Andre pulls Selena into the house, leaving Javi and I alone outside of his front door.
“Are you going home?” He finally asks as he unlocks his door and pushes it open, the air conditioning smacking us in the face with reprieve from the Texas humidity.
