Stand: A Bleeding Stars Stand-Alone Novel

by A. L. Jackson

  Life.

  I pulled in a breath, drawn, fingers at the keys. Emotion knotted tight in my throat, and I set my foot against the soft pedal to keep it muted.

  I rasped out a gush of air from my lungs when I pressed my fingers down, the strike of the chord like a flash fire across my skin.

  I played, the sound subdued against the darkness of my loft, amplified in her spirit that seeped down from above.

  There was nothing I could do. Nothing to keep it from pouring out.

  The overflow.

  Spilling.

  Crashing.

  Flooding.

  I got lost in it, gliding through the feeling.

  In the music that danced all around me, waiting on me to reach out and take it. Make it mine. Give it life and beauty.

  That beauty and the unrelenting pain.

  Two always seemed to go hand in hand.

  Everything intensified, and I gave myself over to the song. To the lyrics that twisted and grew. The words meant for her, murmured silently on my tongue.

  Written in the skies

  Bleeding stars and broken hearts

  Scattered wishes and shattered dreams

  Never knew you were strewn

  Right there with them

  They felt real. Just like she said. Meant to be.

  They flowed through my mind like the chords flowed through my fingers.

  That space between us alive.

  Bigger than before.

  Consuming.

  Everything sizzled and the hairs at the nape of my neck stood on end. Attention rapt. Hunger throbbed in my gut and became a thriving entity when I felt fingertips glide down the bare skin of my back.

  The ground fucking shook.

  She was the first girl who’d ever given me chills. The first one to make me think there might be something better out there than the constant disappointment. Than the torture of the day to day.

  She wrapped the comfort of those slender arms around me, her lips pressing fast to the top of my shoulder.

  “Magic,” she murmured. “You play the drums for the world to see, and they have no clue about the talent that’s hiding inside you.”

  She leaned in closer, the words a promise against the shell of my ear. “My little drummer boy.”

  A groan climbed straight out of my spirit and dove into the atmosphere. I snatched her wrist and swiveled around.

  Alexis stood there wearing nothing but my sheet wrapped under her arms. A torrent of that white hair fell all around her in soft, seductive waves, making her glow, that knowing shimmer that glinted and danced within the passion and strength of those striking blue eyes.

  A clash of the deepest sea and the darkest heavens.

  Starshine.

  “And you are a fucking vision.”

  I slowly stood and Alexis took a step back. I was wearing nothing but my underwear, my cock raging like a beast as it fought against the thin fabric.

  If I was giving in, I might as well take it all.

  Her attention dropped to where I was straining for her like a madman. Like she felt the weight of my body’s demand. A rush of that red crawled across her chest and climbed the delicate slope of her neck.

  I couldn’t see it in the shadows, but I felt it. Could feel the heat. The attraction that flamed.

  The need and the confusion that lapped in that space that came alive every goddamned time.

  Maybe it was what had finally thrown me over the edge. Maybe it was what had me edging her back, stalking toward her as she clutched that bottom lip between her teeth, one of those affected, sweet smiles fighting to break free.

  She kept backing up with every step I took in her direction. A tiny gasp escaped her when her back hit the windowpane. I pressed both my hands over her head. Trapping her.

  Because fuck.

  I didn’t want to let her go.

  She was lit up by the cityscape, like the girl was the focus in some kind of precious portrait. A shimmery silhouette. A light in the darkness that held me captive.

  And I was thinking foolish thoughts.

  Wondering if I just might find my way out of the darkness and finally break free if she lit the way for long enough.

  “Do you have any idea what you’re doing to me, gorgeous? Are you trying to send me straight outta my mind?” I followed the curve of her jaw with the tip of my index finger.

  She shivered beneath it, head tipping up as I trailed it down. I let it glide the length of her delicate neck and across her collarbone.

  I leaned in closer, two of us breathing the other’s breath.

  “I hope so, because I’m pretty sure I’ve already lost mine,” she murmured.

  “Alexis.” It was a groan. I pressed her tighter against the window. “Now that I’ve had you, I don’t want to stop.”

  She lifted that brave chin, making more of those demands I had no idea how to heed and even less of an idea of how to resist. “Tell me you need me.”

  I gripped a handful of the sheet covering that tight, sweet body. “I’ve never needed anyone…anything…the way I need you.”

  I gave it a tug, and the satiny material pulled free, pooling like a beggar kneeling at her feet.

  This angel that was nothing but temptation.

  Bare.

  Soft.

  “Lex.” I splayed my palm across the beat of her heart, right between those gorgeous tits. I cupped the right one, thumb brushing her pretty pink nipple, fucking loving the way it pebbled and grew tight.

  Loved the way she panted when I trailed down, brushing the delicate skin of her soft belly before I cinched my hand down tight on her hip.

  She gasped. “Zachary.”

  “What do you need?” It was all a demand.

  She didn’t hesitate. “I need you.”

  I spun her around, her hands flat to the window. I wound the long locks of her hair into my hand, mouth at her ear. “You are so goddamned sweet. So gorgeous.”

  My opposite hand rode the path of her spine, that damned star taunting me with its promise. Her ass jutted out as if on command, and I palmed her round bottom.

  She shuddered, her sweet voice going rough with desire. “Zee.”

  “I know, baby. I know exactly what you need.”

  I shouldn’t. It should be so fucking foreign that I didn’t have a clue. But somehow, this girl made me remember myself, exactly the way she made me remember my piano.

  I tightened my hold in her hair, guiding her lower, demanding all she had to offer.

  “Perfection.”

  Knees shaking, her breaths came harsher and harder as I tugged her hips out and closer to me, her hands pressed to the window to keep her standing.

  I was overcome with the reality of it.

  I didn’t ever want to see this girl fall. Never wanted her to darken or dim.

  Wanted her to shine forever.

  Which meant what I wanted most was to snuff out her threat.

  Keeping hold of her with one hand, I twisted out of my underwear, kicked them free from my feet. I held my dick at the base, rubbing just the tip through her slick heat, so wet and ready for me.

  Lust gripped me everywhere, spirit crushed by a devastating need.

  I drove home, and Alexis screamed.

  Like she wasn’t anticipating the full intrusion of me. Like she was just as unprepared as I’d been for the chaos that had devastated me when I’d found her standing at my door earlier this evening.

  That had been the moment she had loosed something intrinsic in me.

  Now I didn’t know how to hold it back.

  So, I took her the way I could feel her taking hold of my heart, my hands splayed wide and gripping her ass while I pounded into the sweet, tight clutch of her body.

  Her walls grasped at my cock.

  It spun my mind with earth-shattering bliss.

  I fucking loved that she let me take her bare. Like this precious girl needed me as close as she could get me. Like it might erase some of the b
ullshit fighting to separate us.

  I let my thumbs run the crease of her ass, teasing her into a frenzy of need as I fucked her wild. She begged my name.

  Zachary. Zachary. Zachary.

  I fell into the spellbinding power of it. Into the feel of her body and the sound of her gasps. Got lost in that energy that pitched through the air.

  Alexis tumbled over the edge.

  I could feel her sinking in everywhere as she took me with her.

  My body bowed as I came. Exploded. Mind-blowing, earth-shattering pleasure.

  My fingers dug deeper into her hips because I didn’t ever want to let her go.

  If I could, I’d let this girl take me wherever she went.

  Finally, her knees went weak, and she sagged forward. I held her up, one hand scooping up the sheet in the same second I swept her into my arms, carrying her back to my bed.

  Without a doubt, I was the biggest fool who’d ever lived.

  Because that was exactly where I wanted to keep her.

  My cell vibrating on my nightstand pulled me from sleep. I groaned and blinked into the breaking day.

  Blindly, I swatted for it. Truth of the matter? I didn’t want to move. For a second, I just wanted to relish in the feel of her curled up in my hold, her head on my shoulder and that sweet body tucked up close to mine.

  I finally focused on my phone when it rang again.

  Baz.

  I accepted the call and pressed it to my ear, voice gruff with sleep. “This better be important, asshole. Not even six in the morning.”

  And I was getting about the best damned night of sleep in my life. Last thing I wanted was to get roused from the dream. This fucking perfect, impossible dream.

  “Got a call from Ash a half hour ago. Willow’s water broke in the middle of the night. They’ve been at the hospital for a few hours. Looks like it’s happening soon. Shea and I are heading that way. It’s family time, brother.”

  A shot of fear jolted through me, worry I could never shake. The need to keep this family tight. Safe.

  Alexis stirred and shifted to look over at me with concern.

  “It’s early, isn’t it?” I asked him.

  I could feel Baz’s easiness through the phone, his own anticipation blazing through. “Nah, man, like three weeks. Shea says that’s cool. If he’s ready, he’s ready.”

  That fear shifted to excitement, and that feeling of commitment pounded through my veins. “All right. Be there in a bit.”

  I ended the call and let the phone drop to the bed.

  My world skidded to a stop when I glanced over at the girl who was staring at me from where she was propped up on her elbow, at the ready to be at my side the same way I wanted to be for her.

  She was so fucking pretty. Gorgeous in that humble way, and that feeling tightened in my chest. That feeling I couldn’t allow her to make me feel but she was pulling from me anyway.

  I should tell her I needed to go. That I’d see her later, all the while knowing I was shutting her out.

  Because I couldn’t afford for her to get any closer to me. Couldn’t afford whatever the fuck was happening between us.

  I should’ve ended it right there, because after last night things were more intense than they’d ever been.

  I should.

  Instead, I smiled and patted her sweet ass. “Come on, we have a baby on the way.”

  Chapter Twenty-Eight

  Alexis

  “Are you sure it’s okay I’m here?”

  Zee clasped my hand in his as we climbed into the elevator. He squeezed me a little tighter and tossed me a glance that breezed through me like the calm after a ravaging summer storm.

  His expression was the kind that made you want to look toward the sky in wonder. To memorize the moment—engrave it on your heart—because you were sure you’d never experience anything quite so beautiful again.

  “I want you here.”

  I was still reeling after last night, still staggered by the fact that he had given in.

  I’d felt it, the shift in our worlds as everything tipped and became something brand new.

  Something better.

  This connection profound.

  I nestled a little closer to him. “Good, because this is exactly where I want to be.”

  Four people climbed into the elevator with us. Affection pulled at my spirit when Zee didn’t pull away or try to put space between us. All this time, he’d seemed terrified someone might look at us and put two and two together—add us up as one.

  I’d tried not to allow it to offend me. Struggled with the facts he’d given me and attempted to understand and not take it as a rejection.

  But it was hard when the man you wanted to stand beside kept you hidden in the shadows. When that man made you another of his secrets without revealing to you the reason to keep them in the first place.

  It hurt and always came like a slap to the face.

  A stark reminder that all of this was going to end.

  So, when he reached out and framed my face in both his hands, it meant…everything.

  “That’s good, gorgeous, because right here is exactly where I want you to be.”

  His mouth tugged at the side, and something cocky and sure glided into his features. Leaning down, he murmured in my ear, “Thing about last night, Alexis?”

  Chills skated my skin. I could barely nod.

  “It was the best damned night I’ve had in a lot of years.”

  I stared up at him, my truth sliding out. Because I refused to tiptoe. To make it less. “Last night was the best night I’ve ever had.”

  I wanted to ask him what his had been. If he could remember the moment when his life had changed permanently for the better, or if the secrets and shame had overshadowed that second, scratched and scratched and scratched at that sacred space until it was dull and dim.

  Zee brushed his thumb along the hollow beneath my eye. His gaze flickered with fondness and fear. “You shouldn’t even be real, Alexis Kensington. You’re a gift. A treasure.”

  I wanted to tell him gifts were to be received. Given. Taken without penalty or concern. Somehow, as I stood there, I got the feeling he was terrified I might come at the greatest cost.

  I lowered my voice to shield my confession from the other people on the elevator. “You came as an offering to me, Zee. Complete and whole and willing to give up everything. Do you have any idea what that means to me?”

  I reached out and tapped my fingers at the roar that drummed in his chest. “I cherish you...I cherish this giving heart…more than you could ever know.”

  The words were right there, spinning in the atmosphere, magnified in the tight confines of the elevator.

  I adore you.

  I am lost to you.

  I’m in love with you.

  I kept the confessions tamed, devotion on the tip of my tongue.

  I thought maybe with him towering over me, staring at me with the potency of his gaze, he knew it anyway.

  The elevator dinged. It jumped us back, and I couldn’t stop the giddy sensation from sweeping through me when he sent me a knowing grin. My teeth clamped down on my lip as if it I could keep it contained.

  Keep it forever.

  “Come on, I think we’re this way.”

  We followed the signs that directed us to labor and delivery. The hall opened up to a large waiting room, which was full of people.

  Sunder had taken over.

  They looked completely out of place, the appearance of these boys so menacing and bad and bold. But there was no chance of missing the excitement that bounded from each of them as they waited on something so precious.

  As precious as their children who were gathered around them, the older two, Kallie and Brendon, sharing an iPad where they sat on the chairs, the younger two, Adia and Connor, were on the floor, playing with toys.

  Shea, Tamar, and Edie, who was holding Sadie, were engaged in their own eager conversation.

  When I’d left Willow
and Ash’s house that night, I’d thought I understood the love this stitched up, patchwork family had for each other. The strength of the devotion they had for one another.

  But I didn’t think I really got it until that moment.

  Not until I literally felt the loyalty pulse through Zee when he stepped into the fray.

  Baz shot to his feet. “Zee, man, you’re here. About time.”

  They went in for a handshake, both of them clapping each other on the back. “Well, if you would’ve given me a little more heads-up, I would’ve gotten here earlier.”

  Baz slanted a knowing glance at me, a wry grin taking to his mouth. “Looks to me like you were otherwise occupied.”

  My gaze dropped as I pressed my lips together, trying to hide the flush of embarrassment that made a straight ascent to my cheeks.

  And I thought Zee might step away. Put space between us.

  Friends.

  Instead, he cast me the most tender kind of smile. “Yeah, guess I was.”

  Emotion clutched me everywhere. Affection, warmth, and hope.

  Shea climbed to her feet. “Oh my God, Alexis, you’re here.” She hugged me tight as she rocked us. “It’s so good to see you again.”

  “It’s so good to see you, too.”

  It was true. True when I said hello to Austin and Lyrik. True when I hugged Tamar and Edie.

  The truth of the matter was, I’d fallen a little bit for all of them.

  I caressed my fingertips over Sadie’s tiny fist and her even tinier fingers, this sweet, sweet girl with her pouty pink lips and cherub face.

  My hammering heart shot into a frenzy when Zee dropped to a knee beside Adia and Connor, bringing me with him. He ran a loving hand over both of their heads as I whispered my hellos.

  Some things were so adorable they physically hurt.

  Zee straightened back to standing, keeping hold of my hand. “How’s it going in there? Any news?”

  Lyrik shook his head and roughed his palms down his thighs, his tattooed hands pressing into his jeans. “Who knows, man. They’ve been back there for close to five hours now. Only experience I have on the matter is Adia, and she sure didn’t seem to want to give up her hold on my Blue.”

  Tamar grinned at him. “Stubborn, just like her daddy.”