Rebecca's Hope

by Kimberly Grist

  “All those hours you helped me prepare for law school ought to be worth something. How about we consider this my first installment in paying you back for your efforts?”

  Taking her hand, Peter gave it a slight squeeze. “Honestly, our studying together helped me more than you will ever know. My father never understood why I struggled so with memorization. It was Horace’s idea to get you to read aloud to me. It made all the difference. I am sorry I never told you both how much I appreciated the help.”

  Chapter 13

  Dear Papa,

  Papa Horace said since I cough so much when I am outside, it would be better to become an accountant instead of a traveling preacher. Aunt Eloise said I should be a seamstress…

  Weary but feeling some relief at being home, Seth and Sam headed toward the barn to unload and take care of their horses. It had been a productive but long three days.

  “Did you see who was in the buggy leaving as we drove up?” Sam asked.

  “The only one around here I know who drives a buggy like that is the bank owner. Can’t figure what he would be doing here. Maybe he wants to buy a saddle?”

  Sam looked at Seth in surprise and chuckled. “He’d have to learn how to ride a horse first.”

  Laughing in agreement, Seth waved a greeting to his father, who was walking toward them at a faster pace than typical. “Looks like we are about to find out. Pa seems to have something on his mind.”

  Sam scanned the area around the house, his first concern for his girls. Everything looked to be in order, although now as he thought about it, perhaps it was more quiet than usual. “Everything okay, Adam? We haven’t missed any payments at the bank, have we?”

  “Good to see you back. You fellows made good time,” Adam said, pounding his hand on Sam’s back and bringing his son into a bear hug. “As far as payments go, I would tell you if we were in danger of being in arrears. Matt stopped by as more of a social call, I guess you would say,” he said with a grin.

  Both men stopped in their tracks. Sam eyed Adam suspiciously. “Social call? Since when do we get called on by bank owners?”

  “Since today, I reckon.” Adam wiped his face with his bandana. “We’ve had quite a few visits the last day or so. I guess you could say folks have been downright neighborly. See you, boys, after you get cleaned up.” Winking, he continued, “Oh, a word to the wise, you might want to ask Cookie to set you something back for supper, seeing as how Emma has been cooking all morning.”

  Seth groaned, glaring at Sam. “I guess this means Rebecca is still madder than a hornet and our stomachs are going to pay for your comments.”

  Sam gazed at the big house upstairs window of the bedroom Rebecca typically used when she visited. “All I have been thinking about the last few hours is what I was going to say to her, and wondering how I could make things right. I thought for sure she would be here. I’ve never known her not to spend her day off visiting Molly.”

  Glancing in the direction of Sam’s gaze, Seth waved his hand in frustration. “Trust me, if she were here, we wouldn’t be living in fear of having to eat Emma’s cooking.”

  Adam grimaced at the smell coming from the kitchen, as he headed for the bedroom to check on Molly. “Emma, you best inspect whatever you have in the oven. Girls, your pa is home.”

  Emma gasped as she hurried to the oven.

  “Burned them again,” Sadie said as she gazed sadly at the pan of charred biscuits Emma withdrew.

  “They don’t look as bad as last night’s,” Grace added.

  Waving the smoke away from the pan, Emma examined the biscuits. “Sometimes, I wonder why I even try. I am such a terrible cook.” Glancing at the girls who were sitting uncharacteristically still at the kitchen table, she said, “You girls heard your Uncle Adam. Your father is home, don’t you want to go see him?”

  Grace nodded, as Sadie shook her head at her sister before answering. “We want to see him. But we don’t want to talk to him yet.”

  Emma waved the smoke-filled kitchen with her apron. “I think I would like to postpone our talk myself. It might be best to give your pa a chance to get cleaned up and have a little something to eat first. Something in his stomach might put him in a better mood.”

  The twins stood up almost simultaneously in silent communication.

  “We best go now,” Grace said diplomatically as Sadie wrinkled her nose in distaste at the burned biscuits.

  Chapter 14

  Dear Papa,

  It is extremely cold this winter. Since Aunt Eloise is sick, Molly has come to live with us. She is teaching me to bake gingerbread cookies. We will decorate them for Christmas. I will save one for you. Please come…

  Pastor Nelson and his family gathered together at one table in the front room in honor of Rebecca joining them for dinner. “Thank you for having me, Pastor and Mrs. Nelson. Everything was delicious.”

  Rebecca couldn’t remember when she had eaten so much at one sitting. A simple, delicious meal of black-eyed peas, or cowpeas as some called them, was served with small chunks of pork, along with sliced tomatoes, cornbread and a blackberry pie for dessert. The meal itself was economical and practical, but the combination of Mrs. Nelson’s excellent cooking skills and the overall welcome she received gave her a feeling of happiness. “Let me do the cleaning up for you,” Rebecca offered.

  “Nonsense, the children will help. Boys, come finish your pie in the kitchen, so your father can speak with Miss Rebecca.”

  Rising to help her mother, Ruth leaned in closer to Rebecca, asking, “Which one is your good ear?”

  Rebecca made a gesture motioning to the ear she could hear out of, and Ruth leaned in whispering, “I am so sorry, we didn’t mean to embarrass you. Still, Mr. Anderson is nice and very handsome, don’t you think? I think Helen’s uncle is better looking though, and she says he is as strong as an ox.”

  Martha Nelson called to her daughter from the kitchen. Rebecca felt her cheeks flame. She smiled and patted Ruth’s hand without answering. What would make young girls act so? I don’t recall ever thinking about matchmaking at her age, not even at my age now.

  Pastor Nelson put on his reading glasses and moved his chair next to Rebecca. “Something you said at dinner about your recollection of Adam and Molly’s wedding has me thinking. While it is true I believe how a person interacts with their parent is an indication of how they will get along with their spouse, it is not the only ingredient to a good relationship. Like all those recipes you and my wife are always chatting about, it is a lot of things blended together—some big, some small.

  “You don’t recall much about your mother since you were so young when she died. I can tell by the few things you can remember, that she loved you and you loved her back. Your father on the other hand, now that is a horse of a different color. What you remember is not good, and he’s been absent for years.”

  Rebecca nodded as Pastor Nelson continued. “What I want you to understand is your relationship to God is the most important relationship you will ever have. Everything stems from how we view Him, how we feel about ourselves, others and how we treat them as well.”

  Opening his well-worn Bible, he asked, “Remember when the disciples asked Jesus to teach them to pray? He taught them to go to God as our Father in heaven. People can’t seem to help compare their relationship with their earthly father to God, because that is what we know, see, hear and what we feel physically. I remember as a boy wondering why anyone would want another Father in heaven or anywhere else for that matter if he was anything like my old man.”

  Pastor Nelson paused and looked directly into Rebecca’s eyes. “Rebecca, I want to ask you some personal questions about how you see God. Not what you have been taught but how you view Him. To you, who is Jesus?”

  “He is God’s son, who is fully God and fully man. He has been and always was and came to earth to live a perfect life and die on the cross for our sins. He died, was resurrected, and one day He is coming again.”

  Pastor
Nelson, with a smile, acknowledged, “How do you know?

  “The Bible, the word of God, tells us,” Rebecca answered again.

  “Do you believe it?

  “Yes, I believe it.”

  “Do you believe He hears your prayers?”

  Puzzled, she stammered, “Well…yes. I know God hears them. Though, I don’t know that He always answers them.”

  Pausing, Pastor Nelson tapped his glasses lightly on his Bible. “God is not flawed like our earthly fathers. He has a personal interest in your life and knows the number of hairs you have on your head. Frankly, that is a lot of hair.” Laughing at his joke, he touched his slightly receding hairline. “God doesn’t have near the same amount to keep up with on me.”

  Rebecca found herself smiling at the pastor’s remark as he continued.

  “I fail as a Father because I am a mortal man. Your earthly father failed you. God supplied other men like Horace and your papas here in town to fill in some of the gaps. As mortals we make poor decisions, we sin, we are flawed. God is not. He knows everything about you, loves you and wants the best for you. He understands your pain and wants to offer you comfort. Do you understand what I am saying?”

  “Yes, I think so. You don’t want my relationship with God to be like the one I have with my Father.”

  “The main thing I am concerned about—especially after hearing how you found the unopened letters to your father—is that you might think God views your prayers in the same way.”

  Rebecca winced. “Papa Horace always said, ‘God knows our thoughts, so he knows what we think even if we never speak it.’”

  “I would agree. But I will also add, God takes pleasure in hearing from you. He wants to comfort, guide, and protect you. There are no unopened letters to God, Rebecca. Take your time to seek Him. He will give you an answer.”

  Rebecca’s lips quivered. “Thank you, Pastor, that is a salve which goes straight to the heart.”

  “Let’s pray about it together, shall we?”

  Chapter 15

  Dear Papa,

  Aunt Eloise went to heaven today. I will miss her…

  Sam raked his hand through his hair as he stared at his daughters. “Girls, hopefully, I didn’t hear you right. Tell me again you did what?”

  “What did you hear exactly?” Sadie asked cocking her head at her father with concern.

  Sam groaned. Just when he was thinking things couldn’t get any worse as far as his relationship with Rebecca was concerned, the girls pulled something like this. “Are you telling me you asked your friends to help Rebecca find a husband by writing an ad for the paper? That can’t be true. You don’t even know all of your letters yet.”

  Grace looked up in shock. “We know all our letters. We just don’t always put them in their proper place.”

  Sadie crossed her arms over her chest incredulously, agreeing with her sister. “That is why we asked Mary Ellen to help.”

  “Mary Ellen?” Sam furrowed his brow. “Remind me, which one is Mary Ellen?”

  “The smart one,” Grace said.

  “Kate is the rich one,” Sadie added

  “There she goes again,” Grace said, rolling her eyes. “Kate is Sadie’s best friend. That’s why she wants Rebecca to marry her pa.”

  “Who is Kate’s pa?”

  “He owns the bank,” Sadie said, smiling.

  Sam moaned and stared at Emma who wore a strange look on her face. “Was her father leaving as we were riding up?”

  Wide-eyed, Emma nodded.

  Thinking back to Adam’s remark about the banker’s visit being a social one, Sam threw his hands in the air in frustration. “Everyone in this house seems to be scheming against me. What in tarnation, girls? Why do you think Rebecca needs help finding a husband? I thought you both loved her and wanted me to marry her?”

  Both girls’ mouths dropped open, looking at each other in perfect mirror image. Except for a small, faded scar above Grace’s lip placed there by Sadie a few years back, they were near to impossible to tell apart until they began to talk. “Pa,” they said in unison.

  “You said you didn’t want her,” Grace frowned, crossing her arms across her chest.

  “You said she was a castoff,” Sadie growled.

  “Now hold on a minute, I didn’t do any such thing.”

  Grace gasped. “Pa, that is a fib.”

  “Girls, I will not have you correcting me. I am your father.” Frustrated, Sam rubbed his temples as he turned to Emma. “Help me out here, what is going on?”

  Emma answered hesitantly. “It was hardly a quiet conversation. The girls and everyone, me included, heard the argument—I mean conversation—you had with Rebecca. We all understood you to be breaking things off.”

  Sam shook his head in frustration. “I never said any such thing.”

  Emma cocked her head and raised her eyebrows in answer.

  Thinking back, Sam remembered being annoyed because he hadn’t felt at peace about his finances and had not set a date for the wedding. Some of the hired hands had been teasing him about Rebecca’s admirers. Adam also offered an opinion.

  “Sam, when was the last time you were in town? It’s not the same place it was six months ago. I’m telling you a young single girl living on her own is asking for trouble. I never liked the fact Rebecca was staying at the boarding house, though at the time it seemed safe enough. But not now. Soon she won’t have that measly little room, then what?”

  The problem was he didn’t know what Rebecca was going to do. When she mentioned she wasn’t going to be able to afford to stay at the boarding house, he assumed she might be exaggerating the circumstances and needed to budget better. And if she was so short on money, what was she doing buying the girls dresses?

  “Now hold on there, wait a minute. I was mad and overreacted.” Taking a breath, he kneeled to get eye level with his daughters. “Girls, I appreciate what Rebecca does, but it’s my job to take care of you. Whatever you girls need, I will provide. Rebecca needs to take care of herself.”

  “See, you did say it,” Sadie said crossly.

  “Say what? Girls, this isn’t making any sense.”

  Emma walked over to the twins. “Let me talk to your pa for a few minutes. You two go visit with Molly. I bet she would enjoy your company.”

  Huffing, Sadie stomped off, but Grace held back, hesitating for a moment before following her sister from the room.

  Her cheeks hot from frustration, Emma faced Sam. “I think I am beginning to understand a little bit better why you reacted the way you did. You forget one thing though. I was there when she showed you the fabric.”

  Sam massaged his temples. “Whenever you women start talking about fabric, how much is needed and patterns and all, it makes my head ache. I will admit I was probably wool-gathering when she showed it to me.”

  “She came by the material because of some work she’s been doing for Lois. Rebecca does trading all the time. For instance, she is teaching the blacksmith’s daughter how to sew, which is how she got her horse re-shod.”

  Upon reflection, Rebecca had been stating facts as far as her room and board. Something he should have been concerned about. “Alright, I have made a lot of assumptions. Obviously, I made a mistake about the dresses. If I’d an objection, I should have said something earlier. But I did not call her a castoff.”

  Emma’s eyebrows drew together, reminding Sam of Sadie which made him chuckle. “Okay, I know that expression. Rebecca is not here which is unusual for a Saturday. Even if she was mad at me, I can’t imagine her giving up an opportunity to spend time with you and Molly. The girls are so upset, they are trying to find Rebecca a husband. Please enlighten me.”

  Emma’s mouth dropped. “I believe the exact quote was, she was wearing other people’s castoffs, and her boots have patches on their patches. But we all thought you wanted her to stay out of your life.”

  Running his hands through his hair, Sam groaned, “That is not what I meant. I don’t want her doi
ng without because she is worried about my girls. I can take care of them myself.”

  Emma frowned and placed her hands on her hips. “Rebecca loves your girls and takes pleasure in doing for them. You should have seen her planning the design of the dresses, right down to fretting which buttons to use. She had us all at the table trying to figure out how to get the most out of the material. I recollect she asked you to stay. You gave her some excuse about being behind on your saddle orders and not being able to spare the time.”

  Sam ran his hand through his hair again, which was now standing on end. “I’ve made a mess of things. Our relationship has been strained since I felt like she was pressuring me to marry right away. I do not want to set a date until I have my finances in order and not until I am sure our relationship is ready for the next step.”

  “Sam,” Emma exclaimed, “then you did mean to break things off?”

  “No, I was angry. You’ve seen yourself how thin Rebecca is getting. Truthfully, I was mad at myself for not noticing before now.”

  “Rebecca doesn’t deserve to be treated that way. I saw her crying her eyes out. It’s not like Rebecca to lose control. I have never seen her so hurt.”

  “You are right. She sure is not one to cry. I hate it I was the one to cause her tears. I was wrong and will apologize and make her understand what I meant.”

  Huffing, Emma responded, “Good luck with that. Because it sounded to everyone, including your girls, you were ending things. Let’s not forget the fact you said she looked like a fence post.”

  Sam’s mouth dropped open. “That is not what I said.”

  Chapter 16

  Dear Papa,

  Papa Horace said Aunt Eloise is spending time with Jesus. Do you think when she is done she will speak with Mama too?

  A few minutes before closing, Lois surprised Rebecca with the dress she refashioned from Molly’s old one. “I want you to have another dress to wear when you go to visit your mother’s family. Why don’t you scoot on in the back and try it on? I can’t wait to see how it fits.”