Shifted Illusions

by C. E. Black

  She regarded me from under lowered lashes, and I swear my knees knocked together. One sultry look dissolved all my temporary confidence into nothing. But I couldn’t say no now.

  Swallowing hard, I nodded once.

  “Good. See you tomorrow, Leo.”

  Dazed, and a tad confused, I watched her saunter away. Her hips swayed from side to side like a pendulum, mesmerizing me, and I smiled. Maybe my luck had turned around.

  After she left, I took a deep breath, the rest of the café coming back into focus. A couple at the table next to me stared.

  “What are you looking at?” I snarled, skimming the ruined skin with the tips of my fingers. They looked away quickly.

  Cursing myself, I stormed out of the café, doubts bombarding me. Having coffee with Beth would be a bad idea. The thought of seeing even a hint of repulsion on her face made my stomach roll. Even if she were strong enough to tolerate me for more than a few minutes, it could go no farther. Best to end it before it even began.

  I yanked my buzzing phone out of my pocket and answered without checking the caller ID first. “What?” I barked.

  “Dude, what’s your problem?” Hawk asked.

  “Being your errand boy, that’s what. What the hell do you want now?”

  “Nothing! Just making sure you didn’t get lost,” he fretted.

  “Whatever.” I sneered. “I’ll be there in ten, so hold your balls, will ya?”

  Hawk sighed. “Okay, thanks.”

  “Yeah, whatever.”

  I hung up, my scowl deepening. It was time to get back to work and forget about the curvy brunette with eyes the color of new leaves and lips so red they shone like rubies.

  What the hell was I now, a poet? I rolled my eyes. Yeah, didn’t look like I’d be forgetting about the goddess any time soon.

  2

  Hawk

  “Fuck!” Wolford had eluded me again. I’d been so close to finding him. All the cookie crumbs had been there, then poof! He’d disappeared.

  I slammed my palm against the keyboard with so much force it knocked into the tablet I’d designed, sending the expensive piece of tech crashing to the floor. “Fuck you, you fucking fucker!”

  “Talking to your dick again, Hawk?”

  Snarling at the interruption, I swung around with a growl. Leo leaned against the doorjamb, one hand tucked into the pocket of his jeans, the other holding a coffee and white pastry bag, looking as though he hadn’t a care in the world. Which only pissed me off even more.

  Snatching my breakfast out of Leo’s hand, I fell back into my chair and dug in.

  “You’re welcome.”

  “Thanks,” I mumbled around a mouth full of bear claw. I needed sugar and caffeine, in that order, before I did serious damage to the equipment.

  “So, what are you so keyed up about?” As Leo made his way over to me, his boot landed on the tablet with a crunch.

  “Watch it,” I growled, sweeping down to pick up the shattered computer. “And it’s none of your business.”

  Leo pouted, a look I was used to seeing on the old Leo. “Whatever.” He sighed, and his petulant expression disappeared, exhaustion taking its place.

  The sight snatched the wind out of my sails and brought all my anxiety for him back to the surface. I was painfully aware of how much he’d changed over the last few months. And I’d put little effort into helping him.

  A wave of guilt crashed over me. What kind of friend had I been?

  “Thanks for this.” I held up the coffee.

  “You should be thankful. You have no clue what I had to go through to get those.”

  “What happened?”

  He ran a hand over the top of his head. He’d lost a lot of hair in the explosion and had shaved what was left. Over time, the white blonde hairs had grown back in, the soft tips brushing his jawline.

  The coffee cup was halfway to my lips when the thought made me hesitate. Soft? Where had that come from?

  “Man, you have no idea,” Leo interrupted my musings.

  Concern had me leaning toward him. “Tell me,” I said.

  “I met a woman,” he revealed with a satisfied smirk.

  I clamped my lips together to keep from laughing. “Don’t know why that surprises you. Aren’t meeting women a specialty of yours?” I joked.

  “Maybe in the past. But now,” he pointed to the scar on his cheek, “no one wants a boy toy who looks like this.”

  “Boy toy?” I choked on my coffee, sputtering all over my hand. Shaking my head, I reached for the napkins inside the pastry bag.

  “Clumsy ass.” Leo laughed.

  “Why would you want to be a boy toy?”

  Cleaning up my mess, I waited for Leo to wiggle his eyebrows up and down and say something like, “why wouldn’t you?” Instead, he shrugged one shoulder and stared at the far wall as he contemplated his own words.

  “You deserve more,” I said.

  Leo slowly raised his gaze to capture mine, and the air stilled. Electric, crackling energy sparked between us, and my dick stirred inside my jeans. This was something I’d spent a long time avoiding. After years of friendship, I could admit I’d had inappropriate thoughts about Leo from time to time. Which had been a painful mixture of confusion and frustration because I was also still attracted to women.

  There was something about Leo, though. From the moment I’d met him, unfamiliar desires had troubled me.

  Leo had never hidden the fact he’d been with men and women in the past, at least not from me. And there had been times, like now, when I would have bet my left arm the attraction wasn’t one-sided. But there was no way I could go there. Leo was my best friend. Nothing more. Nothing less. I couldn’t lose him.

  I cleared my throat. “Maybe this new woman will be good for you.”

  “Maybe, but I’m not going,” he mumbled.

  “Not going where?” I grilled.

  Leo glanced at me quickly, though his eyes didn’t hold mine this time. “The woman I met, she asked me to coffee tomorrow. But I don’t think I should go.”

  “Why not?” I sipped my coffee, wondering if Leo found this conversation as odd I did.

  “Why bother?” he replied. “It won’t go anywhere. Never does.”

  Before I could come up with a response, the door slid open. Teij wandered in with a nod, his face set into the perpetual frown he was known for.

  “Got a minute?” he asked Leo, his gaze scanning the mess on my desk.

  Expression unreadable, Leo replied, “You’re the boss.”

  “Bear has his hands full training the new recruits,” Teij said, referring to the shifters who’d stayed with us after we rescued them from Wolford. “I was hoping you’d help him out tomorrow.”

  Leo, looking less than excited about the prospect, nodded. “Sure thing.”

  “Good. Have you found a place yet?”

  “Not yet, but I will soon.”

  “Let me know if you need some help. And, Hawk?”

  “Yes, sir?” I straightened in my chair, waiting for orders to find information on a new case.

  “Go home,” he said instead.

  Taken aback, all I could do was stare at him. “Excuse me, sir?”

  Teij planted his feet and sighed. “You’ve been here for how many weeks straight? There’s no new information coming. We’ll find Wolford, I’m sure of it, but you need a break. I’m ordering you to go home and don’t come back until I say otherwise. Alex can take over for a while.”

  “But…” The word hung in the air as Teij exited the room, leaving me both surprised and a little pissed.

  “Sounds like you just got yourself a vacation,” Leo said, breaking the silence.

  “Yeah, I guess.” What else was I supposed to do while on vacation? I worked. I researched, hacked for info, and designed new tech. Working was what I did. It was who I was.

  “Well, guess I’m heading out. Some of us have work to do. And I have to find a new place to lay my head.”

  L
eo’s words held the same sarcasm as usual, but without the inflection, making them sound out of place.

  “You’re moving out of Division Headquarters?” I asked.

  “Yeah, with all the new residents, the place is shrinking. Should have left a while back, but Teij said to stay until I’d healed up.”

  “Any leads on a new place?”

  He shook his head. “Nope. Nothing I like. I might have to settle for some crap apartment on the other side of town until something better comes along.”

  “Stay with me.” The words fell from my lips without thought.

  Leo’s brows arched in disbelief. “Seriously?”

  “Yeah. Why not? I have a spare bedroom, and I’m here so much you’ll hardly ever see me.”

  “Except Teij forced you to take a vacation,” he pointed out.

  “True. Who knows how long it’ll last, though. Could only be a day before something new comes up. And you’ll be here working with Bear. I bet that will go on longer than one day. The house is paid for, but you could help with the utilities and food,” I told him.

  Leo grimaced. “I’ve never enjoyed living with other people. Hence, why I want out of here. But I’ll give it a shot.”

  I smelled the lie. Which made me hesitate. Moving in together could ruin our friendship, and after the awkward moment earlier, things could get weird.

  Or we could be adults about it. Leo’s expression said none of it had bothered him one bit. So what if he’d lied about not wanting to live with people? It was a harmless white lie.

  On the bright side, this was the perfect opportunity for me to help him out of his funk.

  Nodding to myself, I swiped away all other uncertainties and gave him a wry grin. “Then let’s go, roomie.”

  3

  Hawk

  “You’ve been here before. Hot tub is out back,” I pointed. “Use it whenever. Here’s your room.”

  Leo brushed by me and threw his bag onto the floor as he gave the room a cursory glance. He’d been in my house a billion times and knew where everything was. But I still felt obligated to point out the essentials.

  “Bathroom’s next door. It’s all yours. I have my own upstairs. Only thing I ask is for you to keep it decent in case we have company.”

  “Not a problem.”

  “As far as chores, neither of us are maids. Pick up after yourself. If the garbage is full, take it out. You cook, you wash. And do your own laundry. As far as food goes, I don’t care how you want to do it. Split the grocery bill or buy our own… Either way is fine with me. And we’ve already discussed rent. You’ll pay half of the utilities.”

  Leo fell back on the bed with a sigh. He stretched his arms out before folding them under his head. “Sounds good to me,” he said. “I’m just glad to get out of headquarters. You have no clue how noisy that place is. Even when it’s quiet, it’s not. There’s always something going on. And don’t get me started on my non-existent privacy,” he complained.

  I hummed in agreement. Though we had living quarters there, it really wasn’t a place you wanted to stay too long. I had first-hand knowledge about the Division Headquarters’ lack of privacy. The memory of getting caught by Bear watching a porno with Leo in The Motherboard Room flashed through my mind, and I winced.

  He must have been picturing the same memory because he suddenly snickered. “Your face, bro. When Bear called us out.” Leo laughed again.

  Crossing my arms, I scowled at my new roommate. “You’ll never let me live that down, will you?”

  “Nope,” Leo grinned.

  I shook my head. “I don’t know why you like to make fun of me. You were caught too.”

  “Yeah, but that kind of shit doesn’t bother me.”

  He was right. It didn’t bother him. The way Leo rolled with the punches was something I’d always admired about him. There were times, though, like with the video, it frustrated me. It was like the guy was never embarrassed.

  “I wished you’d never brought me that video,” I mumbled.

  “Ah, hell, not this again.”

  Leo sat up against the headboard and crossed his ankles, perfectly at ease with his surroundings as usual. I could never get away with such an accomplishment. I might be good in combat or behind the computer, but outside of work, I appeared awkward and unsure of myself. My curse in life.

  “Drop it,” I said.

  “Fine with me,” Leo shrugged. “But dude, get over yourself. It’s just sex. You’re too uptight.”

  Instead of answering, I pressed my lips together.

  “Seriously. When was the last time you got laid?”

  Through gritted teeth, I replied, “None of your business. I’m going to stretch my wings. You want to go for a run?”

  The cocky smirk on Leo’s face dissolved. It was exactly what I’d been aiming for.

  “Nah, I’m good,” he murmured.

  “You sure?” Dropping my earlier anger, I made sure my voice sounded encouraging. “I have the perfect set up out here.”

  He shook his head. “Not feeling it.”

  I narrowed my eyes, not liking the way he refused to make eye contact. This was exactly what I’d been stressing about. He may have exuded confidence a few seconds ago while talking about sex, but bring up shifting into his animal and the guy refused to talk about it.

  “When was the last time you shifted into your lion?” I grilled.

  Leo’s lip curled up. “None of your business,” he mocked back.

  “Fine,” I mumbled. “You know where I’ll be if you change your mind.”

  He didn’t reply. I hadn’t thought he would, and I didn’t want to push, but I was glad I’d at least brought it up.

  On the back porch, I shucked off my clothes and folded each item, setting them neatly on the glass patio table. I slid off my glasses and carefully placed them on top of the pile. They were a prototype of a new technology I’d developed. Needing a convenient way to access Division records at a moment’s notice, the glasses held all the information a team member would need while on a mission. Along with a few bonus features I was working on.

  Thick, black-framed glasses weren’t exactly discreet, but they were only the first step. With my latest attempt, and most successful to date, I was able to use the information I gathered and integrate it with a contact lens I developed. A prototype sat on my desk ready for testing.

  I picked up Leo’s scent, alerting me to his presence. Not wanting to scare him off in case he’d changed his mind about a run, I continued with my routine stretches, starting with my arms and shoulders.

  Head back, I closed my eyes and breathed in the crisp mountain air. Winter had settled in gently this year. At this elevation, a light dusting of snow already shrouded the ground. However, higher up the mountains, it lay thick and silent.

  A tingle of excitement shot up my spine.

  Rolling my shoulders one more time, I held out my arms and relaxed, allowing the transformation to flow across my skin easily. The process of shifting into my hawk was fairly quick and painless, though I couldn’t help shaking out my feathers to get rid of the last tingles. In seconds, I was in the air, my wings pumping at my sides. Using dormant muscles felt good. Like a good stretch when you’ve sat stagnate for too long.

  Up I flew until I soared above the trees. I circled my cabin. Leo watched me from the ground. I squawked, hoping he’d hear my plea for him to join me. Not in the air. But he could run. Unfortunately, when I made another loop around the house, there was no sign of him.

  I wasn’t entirely sure why Leo refused to shift. I had a good guess, though. I’d seen him right after the explosion. His whole body had been one big open wound. The image was seared into my brain. I would never forget how close he’d come to dying. To me, the scars on his face and chest were insignificant. But to Leo, his appearance was everything. It was one of those things I never could understand about him. Yeah, he was a good-looking guy, but so what? He was more than a pretty face.

  Sunlight glint
ed off the snow below me, and I blinked, realizing I was missing out on a good fly. Pushing Leo’s troubles aside for later, I stretched my wings. But as I soared over the mountains I loved, my thoughts circled right back to my best friend. That happened a lot. I never understood why. Leo was just… Leo. Unforgettable.

  When I finished my flight, I landed by the porch, reshaped into my human form, and ran up the steps. I was ready to jump into the hot tub to warm up when I noticed someone had beat me to it.

  Leo’s arms stretched across one side of the hot tub. With his head back and his eyes closed, it was the first time I’d seem him relaxed in a long time.

  “Hey, mind if I jump in?” I asked, unnecessarily, as I stepped into the heated pool.

  “Nope.”

  Leaning back, I hissed as the water heated my icy skin, causing it to tingle and burn. Once I began to warm up, I relaxed but kept my gaze on my friend sitting across from me. Though I was naked, Leo wore a swimsuit, which surprised me. We were shifters. Men. And best friends. Neither of us cared about seeing the other’s dangly bits.

  Unable to help myself, my gaze skimmed the breadth of his shoulders. When our eyes connected, I expected a snarky comment such as, “Like what you see?” It surprised me when several minutes went by in silence. His expression never altered. It was flat, neutral, even as his icy gaze bore into mine.

  “What?”

  Instead of answering, he asked, “So, how was it?”

  I stiffened, then realized he meant my flight, not his body.

  “Oh, it was good. Cold.”

  His gaze seemed to intensify the longer it held mine. I shifted in my seat, regretting it instantly. A great big neon sign revealing my discomfort. My training taught me better. But really, why was he playing this game? What was he doing?

  The corner of Leo’s lips lifted into a smirk. Then he released me from his gaze as his head fell backward. “Looks like you’ve warmed up plenty there, buddy.”

  My face tightened with embarrassment, and I looked away. Yeah, so I had a boner. No big deal. It happened. He should have ignored it. I had. Unless… I searched his face for clues to his thoughts, but his eyes were closed.