by Moose, S.
“Coach made calls, and we were living with them in no time. It felt good to be in a warm bed and around people who loved us. For the longest time, we didn’t have that. Courtney doted on us and we let her.”
“I’m glad you had people who cared and loved you. It’s so nice to hear about your life before me.”
“It was okay, then you came and made the light brighter. You’re a blessing. I never believed in a higher power. Not when Carson and I had a shitty life. You changed that for me and made me believe that everything was going to be right in the world.”
She buries her head into the crook of my arm, and I feel her smile on her face. I love making her smile.
“Can you tell me more about Carson?”
I’m scared to look at her. Talking about him is still hard. It’s raw. Intense. Sometimes, I feel like I’m dreaming, and when I wake up, he’ll be at the bar, waiting for me to help him set up.
He won’t be there.
He’s not going to tell me about his crazy ideas.
He’s gone.
“He was my best friend. He would’ve liked you.” I squeeze her hand, and when she does the same, I let out a breath. “I haven’t seen him in a while. It’s hard talking to him when I know he’s not here. When we get back to town, will you come with me?”
“Of course,” she tells me without hesitation. “We can bring him flowers and sit with him for as long as you want. I want to talk to him and tell him about the man you are today. I know he’s watching over you, and he’s so proud.”
I love her tone. She’s happier and positive. When I look into her eyes, I don’t see that she’s hiding anything. I see the real Mallory, and she’s in my arms.
“Now that I’ve talked about me, I want to know more about you. What have you been hiding?”
She moves so her cheek is on my chest, and she’s looking at me. “I’ve been disappointed so many times in my life. Guys used me, and I thought I was in love several times before, but now I know I wasn’t because love doesn’t make you question yourself. I know when we have sex, you enjoy it, and you love looking at me. Before …” She pauses, and I give her a minute to collect her thoughts. “I used to hate how my body looked. I’ll never be model skinny, nor will I have smooth skin or abs.”
“Your body is perfection.”
She scoffs. “To you. But to other guys, it wasn’t. I never used to have sex during the day. It was always at night.” She inhales and exhales slowly. “Calvin made me feel like I wasn’t good enough, and I soon believed it. Being with you, it’s showing me how abusive the relationship with Calvin was, and I’m so glad I’m not with him. He never hit me, so don’t worry about that. He encouraged me to get a gym membership and work out. We bought pre-packed meals and rarely went out to eat. If I had wine one night, then the next day I was expected to work out at least two hours.”
“What the fuck? If I ever see him, I’ll fucking kill him.”
She closes her eyes and shakes her head. “Not worth it. I’m a better person now because of you. You keep telling me I saved you, but Justin, you saved me. In more ways than you’ll ever know. I am who I am because of everything that happened in my life, and now, I get to enjoy it. Moving here is the easiest decision because I know I’ll be happy, and we’ll be together.”
“Don’t leave me.” I beg her.
“I would never leave you.”
“I don’t mean to sound like a broken record or bring this back to about me, but I couldn’t bear the thought of you leaving. My parents left me without an explanation. Carson unexpectedly died. Angie up and left. In that time, I never let anyone get close. Then you came crashing into my life, showing me what happiness is all about. Falling in love with you has been easy, and I want to keep falling.”
“If you fall, then I’ll fall with you. We’ll fall together and land on our feet because you and I are a team, and that’s not going to change.”
“I promise to love you, Mallory. Love you. Cherish you. Keep you safe. Always.”
“I know.”
Chapter 29
Mallory
A few days after coming back home, I grab a large bouquet of flowers from a nearby florist and hop into the truck with Justin. He holds my hand and keeps the pace of the truck at a steady speed. The ride to Carson’s grave is quiet, and I leave things alone. There’s so many thought swimming in his mind and I know this will be hard for him. Seeing him this way breaks my heart. I know he’s processing his emotions, and I don’t want to disrupt him.
When he pulls into a parking spot, I get out of the truck to give him a minute alone. I’m sure today is hard, and I’m trying to be there for him. It’s better I stay quiet and I need to tell myself that. Right now, Justin needs to know I’m here standing by his side. He doesn’t need long speeches.
I just hope I’m doing the right thing.
Turning toward the path of the cemetery, I notice someone familiar. I didn’t hear the truck door open and close, but I feel his hand on the small of my back, guiding me toward Carson. As we get closer, it’s obvious who’s at his grave too.
“Angie? What are you doing here?”
Immediately, she gets up and turns to face us. “I’m here visiting my friend. I’m glad you finally came to see your brother.”
“Don’t start with me right now.”
She holds her hands up in defense. “Whatever. Be mad at me for your lack of actions. I come to visit Carson every week. I bring him flowers and talk to him.”
“Angie. Stop.” I shouldn’t have intervened, but I was getting tired of her trying to make Justin feel bad. “You need to stop trying to make Justin feel bad. You both suffered a great loss. You were there with Carson when he died, so maybe instead of fighting with each other, you can tell Justin about his last moments or something.”
Justin’s body becomes tense. “You were with him. It’s coming back to me now. You and Carson were gone most of the night. I was bartending with Crystal, and neither of us knew where the two of you were.”
Angie’s body goes still, and she starts playing with her hands and becoming fidgety.
“I called and texted Carson and nothing. What happened that night? What caused the accident?”
“I don’t remember, okay?” Something’s telling me she’s lying. Her answers are quick, and her body language indicates she’s hiding something.
What could it be?
“That’s bullshit. I’ve known you your entire life, and I know when you’re lying. Just tell me, Angie.”
She looks at both of us before turning around to face his headstone. “I’m the reason Carson’s dead. I lied to him and said you hit me, so he took me out of town, and we went for a drive. When it was time to come back, he was getting upset because of my life. He wanted to talk to you and figure out what was going on. I didn’t want the fact that I lied to come out, especially since I told him that rumor about you. I wasn’t thinking.”
“Why the hell would you do that?”
“Because I fell in love with Carson.”
There’s silence. A sickening silence surrounded us.
“As much as I loved you, I was falling in love with Carson too. I told him that night, and he laughed, saying he couldn’t do that to his best friend and brother.”
I feel sick to my stomach. I have a feeling I know where this is going, and it’s going to crush him.
“Angie…”
Justin takes my hand into his. I stop talking, and I pray this isn’t going to end like the way it’s playing out in my head.
“We got into an argument. I told him he was an asshole for not loving me back, and I begged him to tell me. All he kept saying was he couldn’t hurt you, and I needed to stop telling him I loved him. He wouldn’t listen to me.”
“No,” Justin whispers, and I close my eyes, my heart aching because I know what’s coming next.
“I was so mad that he wasn’t listening to me, and he wouldn’t give the idea of us a chance. I grabbed the wheel, and th
at’s when the accident happened.”
“You bitch!” Justin tries to go in for the attack, but I wrap my arms around his waist. “My fucking brother is dead because of you. How the fuck can you live with yourself?”
“I can’t! It’s hard to fucking breathe. I don’t know how to go on or move on from this. I don’t know what the fuck you want from me, Justin.”
“I swear to God, Angie, if you don’t leave New Orleans, I’m calling the police and I’ll let you rot in prison.”
When she scoffs, I’m ready to let Justin go so he can unleash holy hell on her. “You can’t make me leave. This is my home. This is where I belong.”
He shakes his head. “No, it’s not. If you stay, then you’ll have to deal with the cops and explain how you managed to make Carson lose control of the car. You and I both know you wouldn’t be able to handle prison. Take this offer I’m giving to you and leave. Now.”
“Justin…”
“You need to leave, Angie. If you’re not gone by the time I count to three, then your chance is gone.”
“I have nowhere to go.”
“One.”
“Justin, I’m begging you. You need to help me.”
“Two.”
Angie covers her face and runs back to her car. I turn around and watch her get in and drive away. I don’t know if she’s going to take what Justin offered her, and I’m afraid to ask.
“Hey, bro.” I turn back and see Justin sitting down in front of Caron’s headstone. “I’m sorry it’s been a while. I know you think I’m a dick for not coming enough, and you’re right. I am a dick. I miss you. It’s hard to come here and visit, knowing you’re gone. Sometimes I think I’m dreaming, but then reality hits me, and I know you’re gone.” He pauses, so I kneel behind him and place my hand on his shoulder. “This is my girlfriend. Her name’s Mallory Elliot, and one day she’ll be Mallory Monroe. It goes well together, doesn’t it?”
Oh my God. My heart. It’s about to explode. I cannot believe he told Carson that.
“You’re thinking I’m crazy, but she’s made me believe in love again. She’s made me whole once more.”
Neither of us are talking. It’s as though we’re giving time for Carson to talk.
* * *
We spend over an hour with Carson before getting into the truck and driving to my apartment. We want a night in with Lisa and Jerry, so they’re waiting for us at the apartment, and it’s going to be game night.
I reach over and take Justin’s hand. “How are you doing?”
“I’m actually okay. Even though I probably shouldn’t have let Angie go, I knew there’d be no justice for Carson. Her family has money, and she’d get off without seeing a day in jail. My justice is that she’ll never step foot here again, and if she does, I’ll make sure to remind her of why no one wants her here. Plus, Carson wouldn’t want me to go down that route. He was always able to forgive, and I want to be more like him.”
“Good. I’m glad you’re not going to let this fester inside you and hurt you. I’m here if you need to talk.”
“Thanks, baby.”
We get upstairs to the apartment, and when I open the door, my parents jump out and surprise us.
“Hi! We’re here!”
“Ahh,” I scream and jump into Justin’s arms. It takes me a minute to regain my composure and to check if I’m still alive. “You’re here? Mom? Dad? Oh my God!”
It’s been so long since I’ve seen them, and I didn’t realize how much I missed my parents until now.
“This is an amazing surprise. I cannot believe you’re here.”
Lisa and Jerry come out of the bedroom, and I rush over to hug my best friend.
“They wanted to surprise you,” she tells me. “I helped, and Jerry got them from the airport. I knew this would make you happy, and I’m so glad I’m right!”
“Thank you again so much.”
I let her go and get to Justin’s side. “Mom and Dad, this is Justin.” My mom gives him a hug, and my dad shakes his hand. “Justin, these are my parents. Harold and Emily.”
“It’s nice to meet you both.”
My mom touches her chest and smiles. “You two are very cute together. Oh, this makes me happy. Let’s go out and celebrate! Dinner’s on us tonight, so everyone, let’s go.”
Chapter 30
Mallory
With a cup of tea in my hands, I walk outside on the balcony and join my mom.
Lisa spent the night with Jerry, so my parents slept in her room. The bar needed Justin, so he left, and we texted most of the night until I fell asleep.
The cool breeze hits my face, and it relaxes me.
“How are you feeling?” I take a sip of my tea and smile. “It’s so good to see you smile and happy. I haven’t seen you like this in so long.”
“It feels good, Mom. Really good.”
She sighs and pats my hand. “You know, you’re my baby girl, and I know you’re an adult, but I hate the idea of you moving away.”
I don’t want to cry because then she’ll cry, and it’ll be a whole big mess.
“I want you to know something.”
“What is it?”
“Listen to your heart. If your heart is guiding you here, then go for it. If you’re holding any doubts, then come back with your father and me.”
I shake my head and set my cup of tea down. “No doubts. This is what I want. Justin is the man I want to be with. I know it’s crazy. How did I make the decision only after a few weeks?” My mom stays quiet, waiting for me to answer. “I just did. Something came alive inside me when I talked to Justin. He listens to me and makes me feel like a princess. I couldn’t ask for a better man, and I know he’ll take care of me.”
“That’s all we want. Be happy, but remember, you don’t need a man to make you happy.”
I smile and nod again. “I know. It’s nice, though. You know, to finally not feel chained down and insecure.”
“Good. Even though you’re living here now, that doesn’t mean you can’t come visit.”
“I know.” I hold my mom’s hand, and we sit outside in the calm of the morning, just taking it all in.
* * *
The first few weeks have been an adjustment. Lisa and I extended our stay in the apartment we’ve been living in since the start of this journey. The landlord has been easy to work with. We’re paying month to month for now. All he’s asked is we give him at least thirty days’ notice if we want to move out. Jerry mentioned his lease is coming to an end and he doesn’t want to sign another year. I know Lisa wants him to move in. I’d love to live with Justin. The only problem is we haven’t had the conversation and I’m too chicken to bring it up first.
“How are you feeling?” Lisa asks, sliding me over a drink.
We’re in the kitchen, taking a breather from moving and getting settled in. Some things are still in the box and neither of us has the motivation or strength to do anything.
The movers from Chicago were helpful. Lisa and I didn’t realize how much stuff we had until they came in with boxes. Everything was packed into those boxes and it felt good to start unpacking and making this apartment feel like home.
The guys helped as much as possible, but last night, they had to work. I’m not complaining, but I wish Justin didn’t have to work so hard. He has people to do that for him. The rush was pretty heavy, and he felt bad leaving the bar.
“Much better. I cried when I said bye to my parents, but they understand why I’m doing this and know it’s solely my decision. If it doesn’t work out, then I’m taking the friendships I’ve made back to Chicago, but I know it won’t happen like that.”
“Good! I’m glad. You need more happy in your life and so do I.”
“How are things going for you?”
Lisa smiles, and I know that means she’s happy. “Perfect. Coming down here was the best idea. Should I send Calvin a thank-you text?”
I roll my eyes. “No. He’s a dick and doesn’t need any type of
recognition. So glad I don’t ever have to see him again.”
“Amen to that. We’re starting over in a new city and making new friends. Things are only going to get better. We can both count on that.”
I raise my glass to Lisa, and we cheer to that statement.
My phone vibrates in my pocket, and I reach for it, smiling because it’s Justin.
Justin: I’m sorry about last night. The bar got crazy. How are things?
Mallory: Don’t worry! I get it. Things are good. We’re straightening up and having some girl talk. How are you?
Justin: Exhausted. Made a killing last night and I’m sure tonight will be good too.
Mallory: Yay! Do you want Lisa and me to come by tonight?
Justin: I do. Then you’re spending the night. I hate going to bed without you.
Mallory: I know the feeling all too well.
Justin: I have to get going, but I’ll talk to you later. I love you, baby.
Mallory: I love you too!
Chapter 31
Justin
After a long night at the bar and being able to come back to bed with Mallory, all I want to do is listen to her talk about her day and hold her in my arms.
Her bare back is against my chest and I lightly trace circles on her arm.
“What do you think about remodeling your place? Give it a little TLC.”
“Whatever you want to do. Anything you do will be for you. I can live anywhere with minimal things. If taking care of the apartment and decorating will make you happy, then you can do whatever you want.”
“Do you want to stay in the apartment for a while?”
I smile when she asks the question. With how well the bar’s been doing and now that she’s living in New Orleans, I did research and have been talking to contractors.
“Let me ask you something.”
