Holding Mia

by Terri Anne Browning

  He nodded, not looking at me.

  Sighing, I focused on the path in front of me. “See you later.”

  “I’ll call you,” he called after me, but when I glanced back, he was still standing where I left him, still staring angrily at nothing.

  --

  I shouldn’t have been surprised to find Barrick standing outside the door of my math class when the professor released us, but I was. There was a determined set to his chin, but the dark circles under his eyes rivaled my own, and his complexion was sickly pale.

  My heart clenched just seeing him look so miserable.

  Quickly, I pulled my sunglasses back on before he could see me and notice my own misery. Adjusting my bag on my shoulder, I started to walk past him, but his hand shot out quick as a snake striking, and he gently grasped my wrist. With a single tug, he pulled me into his space.

  I barely had time to blink before his head descended and his lips brushed against mine. The kiss was over before it even began, but when he lifted his head, I noticed his face was less tense.

  “You really want to go to UCLA?” he rasped.

  Of course, he talked to Braxton. I didn’t know why I even thought his cousin wouldn’t tell him. Since Braxton told me I was his best friend, I guess I just assumed he would show me a little loyalty. Hurt hit me directly in the center of my chest, but I pushed that down and pulled free of Barrick’s hold.

  “That isn’t any of your business,” I told him, keeping my voice as level as possible considering I was yet again close to tears.

  “If it’s what you want, tell me now. I’ll find us an apartment and get everything moved in before the next semester begins. Say the word, Mia, and I will make it happen.”

  I inhaled slowly, fighting the all-too-brief moment of complete and total happiness that he’d just detonated in me. Then reality came crashing down like a ton of bricks, and I took a step back. “I want UCLA, but I don’t want you,” I lied through my teeth. “Leave me alone, Barrick. Whatever we had died a quick and painful death Friday night. Return to your old life and forget about the gullible girl who took up so much of your time.”

  Grasping my hips, he turned me so my back was against the wall, his body caging me in as he lowered his head. “Let’s get a few things clear, firecracker. First, I have no life without you in it. Second, what we have… Love? That isn’t dead. You’re pissed, and I’ll be the first to admit you have every right to be, but don’t lie to yourself by saying that you don’t feel for me what I feel for you.”

  “Are you done?” I gritted out, desperate to get away from him. I could feel myself weakening. Being this close to him, hearing those words that I wanted so damn badly to believe, was making this too hard.

  “I will never be done. You’re everything good in my life, baby. Please, just give me a chance to show you that.”

  “I have another class,” I muttered, ducking under his arm. Surprisingly, he let me go, and I sprinted as fast as my leg would allow out of the building and toward my next class.

  --

  I was able to avoid Barrick for the rest of the day, but only because after my last class, I hid out in my room, going so far as to order pizza for dinner and eating in bed while I tried to make myself focus on studying and doing homework.

  The next day wasn’t so easy. I had class with Braxton and then work. When I came out of my dorm, Barrick was there, but I walked past him like I didn’t see him, making sure my sunglasses were firmly in place so he couldn’t see that I’d cried myself to sleep once again the night before.

  I didn’t have to look over my shoulder to know he was following me. I could feel his eyes on me as he walked a few feet behind me all the way to English.

  Walking into class, I saw Braxton was already in his seat. Stomping over to sit beside him, I slapped him on the arm as I turned so I could face him. “Stop telling your fucking cousin everything I tell you.”

  “I was upset, and he asked what was wrong. What should I have done? Lied?” He lifted his brows at me. “I think I’ve done enough of that lately, Mia. I’m trying not to lie unless I have to.”

  Feeling bad because I’d hurt him, I leaned over to hug him. “I’m sorry I upset you.”

  “It’s not your fault. Well, it is, but at the same time, it isn’t. I hate that you’re going to leave at the end of the semester.” Scratching at the days’ worth of beard growth on his jaw, he blew out a long sigh. “I’d even deal with your cousin going to school here if it meant you weren’t leaving.”

  That only had my brows lifting curiously. “What do you have against Nevaeh anyway? I know she’s a little odd, but she’s loyal and sweet and so damn smart, she could help a person figure out just about anything.”

  “I don’t have anything against her,” he told me, then I thought I heard him mutter under his breath, “That’s the problem.”

  “You’re so weird,” I grumbled just as the professor walked into the room and immediately started the day’s lecture.

  When class was over, Barrick was standing outside the classroom door. I hugged Braxton and told him I needed to get to work, then pointedly ignored his cousin as I walked out of the building, making sure my sunglasses were perfectly in place.

  He followed me to work, and when I entered the dance studio, he walked right on in, sitting with the mothers already in the lobby. He got a few interested glances before they returned to their phones or talking with their daughters.

  I went to the locker room and changed, making sure my brace was in place before walking out to gather my first class of the evening.

  Between my first and second classes, Cora called the other instructors and me into her office to announce we were doing a Christmas recital, and starting the following week, we would be rehearsing it instead of teaching regular classes. She was giving each of us leeway with our classes, so we could pretty much do any dance as long as the music was holiday-themed.

  I decided I was going to have all my littles be Sugar Plum Fairies and called dibs as soon as Cora called an end to the meeting.

  The other instructors, all of them older than me, groaned, but they gave in, and I walked out of the office grinning.

  Until I saw Lyla sitting with Barrick.

  “Miss Mia, Miss Mia!” Josie squealed as she came running up to me, and I forced a smile for her. “I’m ready to dance.”

  I was glad she seemed unaffected by the events of the previous week’s class. “So am I, sweet girl. And I have a surprise for you.”

  “You do?” she asked excitedly. “What is it?”

  Laughing, I turned her toward our classroom. “You’ll just have to be patient and wait for the other girls to arrive before I make an announcement. Go on. I’ll be right in. I just have to grab my phone so I can get the music.” No use in waiting for the next week to start when I already knew what I was going to be teaching them for the recital. The longer I had to practice with the littles, the better.

  “Mia,” Lyla called behind me, and I stopped but didn’t turn to face her. She walked over and stood in front of me. “Could we have coffee tomorrow? I really would like to talk to you.”

  “No thanks,” I told her tightly. “If you’ll excuse me.”

  “So, you can forgive Braxton but not me?” she called after me, hurt lacing her voice. “That doesn’t seem fair if you ask me.”

  I laughed humorlessly and turned to look at her. “Life isn’t fair, Lyla. Haven’t you realized that by now?”

  Chapter 21

  Mia

  By the end of the week, I was so tired, I felt like I was ready to drop. As I walked out of the dance studio, I fought back a yawn and contemplated just curling up outside the door and taking a quick nap before making the walk home.

  Instead, I glanced around, expecting to see Barrick since he’d followed me to work once again. But he wasn’t anywhere in sight. Figuring he was at the Underground, I pushed back the ridiculous feeling of disappointment and h
eaded for campus.

  “Yo, hot stuff, what’s a guy gotta do around here to get some attention?”

  I stopped mid-step at the sound of that voice and slowly lifted my head, not sure I could believe my own ears. When I saw him leaning back against the hood of a car, arms folded over his chest, legs crossed casually at the ankles, I had to blink a few times to make sure he wasn’t a mirage.

  Dressed in jeans that hugged his thighs and sat low on his hips, a white button-up with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and his hair in that stylish, unkempt way Jordan Moreitti was famous for, he was the best thing I’d seen all week.

  A choked laugh escaped me, and I took off at a run. My best friend caught me as I threw myself into his arms, and he swung me around twice, holding on to me for dear life. “What the fuck have you done to yourself?” he demanded once he set me on my feet. “You’ve lost weight, and hell, you look like a damn wraith right now with those dark shadows under your eyes. Please tell me you aren’t letting some idiot with a cock make you do this to yourself, Mia.”

  I punched him in the stomach, causing him to grunt in pain. “Don’t judge.”

  “I come all this way to check on my best girl, spend a little time with her before her birthday, and this is how I’m treated?” He sighed dramatically. “What the fuck? I thought you loved me.”

  “I do love you, dummy,” I assured him as I hugged him again. “Now drive me back to my dorm so I can change.”

  His gaze skimmed over me appreciatively from head to toe. I was wearing my usual Friday night work outfit, dance shorts and a sports bra. We’d had a particularly good night and I was still sweating, so I wasn’t wearing the hoodie I’d brought with me or the yoga pants I normally would have slipped on after class.

  “Jordan,” I laughed, snapping my fingers in front of his face.

  He shook his head as if to clear it. “Sorry, sorry.” Tossing his arm over my shoulders, he guided me around his rental and opened the passenger door. “Your chariot awaits, dear lady.”

  In my dorm room, he camped out on the unmade extra bed that had once belonged to Lyla while I went into the bathroom. A quick shower and a change of clothes and I felt better.

  Walking into the bedroom, I found Jordan lying back, his feet propped up on the end of the bed because he was so long, the bed was way too short for him.

  “Where are you staying?” I asked as I sat on the edge of my own bed.

  “Hotel a few miles from here,” he said with a lift of one shoulder.

  “How long do I have you for?”

  “I have to head back Sunday night.” Rolling onto his side to face me, he propped his head up on his hand. “So…what’s there to do in this town? Let’s go do something stupid and get into a shit-ton of trouble that will make our moms freak.”

  Until he’d shown up, I’d planned on ordering takeout and most likely crying myself to sleep once again. Just as I’d done every other night that week. It was pathetic but, apparently, my new normal.

  Now that he was there, though, the thought of staying locked in my room all night made me feel suffocated. “Well, there is one place we could go that if my parents knew I went without a bodyguard, they would lose their minds.”

  He sat up and leaned forward, a devilish grin on his too-handsome face. “You have my full attention, love.”

  At having his laughing eyes skim over me again, a feeling of spitefulness hit me, and I jumped to my feet and walked over to my closet. “Help me find something to wear.”

  “What’s wrong with what you have on?” he complained even as he came over to me and started fingering the clothes hanging there.

  I glanced down at the jeans and hoodie I had on with a grimace. “I need something sexy. Something that screams ‘Look, but don’t touch.’”

  “Ah, so your ex is going to be at this place. Okay,” he said with a nod and pulled something from the closet. “This. I know I’m going to regret telling you to wear it—because fuck knows I’m going to have to beat the bastards off you—but if you want to grab his attention, then this is what you need.”

  An hour later, we walked into the Underground. Jordan stood close, his entire body tense. He was fully alert, keeping himself between me and any guy who even looked like he wanted to approach me.

  My relationship with Barrick was something everyone on and off campus knew about. People had never messed with me, and I knew it was because they were afraid of him. But now, everyone knew we were no longer together, and from the looks in some of the guys’ eyes, I saw that they’d been waiting for an opportunity to approach me.

  Not liking all the attention, I slid my hand into Jordan’s, hoping that would deter them. Jordan might not have been as big as Barrick, or even Braxton when it came to muscles, but not many people outside of the Underground fighters were. He was leanly muscled and tall. His olive complexion and brown eyes told of his Italian heritage, his clothes screaming he was rich.

  I wasn’t the only one getting attention. There were chicks already lining up, drooling all over themselves to grab his attention.

  “Fuck, save me,” he muttered. “These girls look like they’re in heat.”

  That had me laughing. “We can protect each other,” I promised. “Let’s get something to drink.”

  “Now you’re talking.” Kissing the top of my head, he tossed his arm around my shoulders, keeping me close as we walked through the growing crowd to the bar.

  The bartender was one I recognized, and he didn’t even blink when I ordered two rum and Cokes. The drinks were placed in front of me, and Jordan tossed down some cash.

  “Should we find a place to sit? Looks like this place is getting rowdy.”

  I nodded. “The fight should be starting soon.”

  As we walked around, looking for a good place to sit, I kept a lookout for Barrick or his cousins. It wasn’t until we had found a place close to the front that I saw Lyla sitting in her usual roped-off VIP section with Howler and Braxton.

  Her eyes were glued to me, and even through the cage, I could tell she wasn’t happy. I shrugged, not caring if she was or not. Braxton shifted beside her, but when I looked at him, his gaze was on Jordan, his eyes narrowed in that pissed-off look I’d only seen on rare occasions.

  Unknowing he was the focus of angry attention, Jordan draped his arm over my shoulder, pulling my head closer so I could hear him. “This place is a madhouse. It’s so cool. I’m kind of pissed you didn’t tell me about it.”

  Grinning, I shook my head at him. “I’m sure you have just as much fun at your frat parties back home.”

  “No,” he said, his face growing serious. “Not even a little. I’m starting to think it’s because you weren’t there with me.”

  “Well, I’ll be there starting UCLA come January,” I informed him, thinking that would make him happy, but he surprised me by sitting up straighter and glaring down at me. “What?” I asked, but not completely sure I really wanted him to answer, though.

  “You’ve changed, Mia. The girl I know and love wouldn’t let anything chase her home. Not even some dumb-ass guy.” He sighed and took a swallow of his drink. “This was part of your plan, remember? Getting the work experience at the dance school, taking business classes, then starting your own school. After your accident, this plan was the one thing that finally put life back into your eyes. And now you’re just going to let a bent-up heart pull the brakes on it? My Mia has bigger balls than that and wouldn’t run away.”

  Having him, my best friend in the universe, throw that at me had me pausing and looking again at my decision to go back to California. He was right. The old Mia never would have even thought about running away. I’d mapped out my goals and been determined to make them a reality.

  Now I was just going to change them because of Barrick?

  But honestly, I didn’t know the answer to that.

  Because Jordan was wrong about one thing. Barrick didn’t just bend my heart a little
. He full on broke it. It was a shattered mess inside my chest, and there were times, when I was alone in the middle of the night and aching so badly to have his arms around me, that I hurt so bad, it was physically hard to draw my next breath.

  The place went dark except for the spotlight shining on one of the locker room doors. I clenched my hands around my drink, wondering if Barrick was going to be one of the fighters or a referee like he sometimes was.

  Some guy named Ridge was announced, whom I’d never heard of before. As soon as he walked out, to equal screams and boos, I nearly dropped my drink. The guy was scary as hell, with muscles and veins popping from every direction. His head was shaved, and he wore a pair of shorts that looked like they’d been painted on his massive legs.

  He walked right by me, and I shivered in fright, causing Jordan to tuck me closer, his hand staying at my hip as he used half his body to shield me when Ridge looked down at me and smirked.

  “You know him?” Jordan asked.

  I shook my head. I’d never seen the guy before, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t aware of who I was. Lyla and I had come to every Underground fight whether Barrick was fighting, refereeing, or just watching. Other fighters were bound to know who I was and that I was with Barrick.

  Once Ridge was in the cage, the spotlight shifted to the other locker room door, and I went cold when they announced Beast.

  “Oh gods,” I whispered and tossed back the rest of my drink in one gulp.

  The door opened, and Barrick walked out with a sense of purpose to his stride. Everyone went crazy, screaming for Beast. His hair was pulled back into a man bun, his eyes focused on the cage and the man standing there waiting. He wore his lucky shorts that clung to his muscular thighs, but he was also wearing a T-shirt. He never fought in a T-shirt because his opponent could use it against him.

  Unless he took that shirt off at the last minute, this wasn’t going to be good. Ridge seemed like the type to use anything he could against someone in the cage.

  I hated watching Barrick fight, even though I knew he loved it when my eyes were on him while he did it. Ridge looked like he could destroy Barrick with a single hit, and just thinking about it made my stomach twist and turn until I was fighting down bile.